Those who need to hold tightly to the once-saved theory, are those who's minds are bound in dead religion. They do not grasp the concept of God's love, grace, and mercy towards us, and therefore need to feel secure, because they do not feel worthy as they are attempting to be saved by works.
Look up the word "grace"; then look up the term "oxymoron", and then re-read what you wrote here. That might help.
Danus, I agree that there is a "grace" issue with those who oppose OSAS. On the other hand, I do think there are a few who speak on OSAS who might go too far and not take a proper view of responsibility. Without responsibility, OSAS is not grace, but license.
Well, responsibility for what? Sin or Salvation?
Not that I am asking you, but rather posing a rhetorical question to think about in relation to ones sin and salvation, and what the bible says.
What I would say is this, we are solely responsible for our sin. The bible is clear on that. We are all guilty and condemned for our sin. So, if we can agree with the bible that we are responsible for that, how is it we can even think we are one bit responsible for our own salvation?....hold that thought.
Grace, mercy and forgiveness are anchored in the same definition to imply the will of the one who offers these things, regardless of the of will of the one who receives these things.
For example, if I am a judge in a court of law, and I have the power to convict someone or set them free, and I decide to set someone free, I can not say I did so with grace, mercy or forgiveness of their crime "IF" I am requiring anything from them. Because If I require something from them, either before or after my act of grace, mercy, or forgiveness, then I am NOT offering grace, mercy or forgiveness, but instead a "quid pro quo"; which is not grace mercy or forgiveness, but something for something.
Do you see the difference? I can't say I'm giving you something for free if I'm making you pay for it. In that case it's not free. I can't say I forgive you if I require you to first ask for it before hand. I can't say I'm offering you grace by my mercy towards you, if I'm prepared to take it away on a condition that I require you to make or keep; Because If I do, then I'm not offering grace, mercy or forgiveness if I require you to pay for any of it up-front for what is essentially free by definition.
I realize people have a hard time understanding, or accepting, OSAS, God choosing whom he will save and so forth. As you/we mentioned the definitions of "Grace" seem to be a huge stumbling point. But, because of GRACE; The good news is that no one has to understand it, or accept it. It's not required to be saved.
But, if we're going to speak against OSAS, or even say that some who propose OSAS might take it too far leaving out "responsibility", then we should do so in a proper way that makes sense. Let's not say God is a God of Grace, Mercy, and Forgiveness and at the same time preach that God makes a specific requirement FOR salvation, because that's not Grace, Mercy, or Forgiveness. That would be a conditional deal, or a contract governed by specific requirement of the individual entering into the agreement; which is what the OP proposes is a gospel of Grace, Mercy, Love and forgiveness, whereby a person may or may not be saved depending on what a person does in relation to their own responsibility for their own sin AND salvation.
Me personally, I take full responsibility for my sin. I understand my sin. I understand my need for salvation. What I can not take responsibility for is my salvation. I am in no way responsible for it. After what God has shown me, I would not save me. I deserve death and I can fully accept it as just and fair. However, my salvation is something God has made Himself responsible for. Why? He says because He loves me. He says because He offers me grace, and Mercy. He took my punishment and represents me as clean and righteous. That's Love. That's Mercy. That's Forgiveness. I don't have a choice but to serve Him, because outside of that I already know I deserve death. I'm not the one taking OSAS "too" far. God is.
I'm sure people will have more to discuss on this, but I'm pretty much done for now on this subject.