Facebook

[pjt]

Do you have a facebook account why or why not?

I`m asking because lately several people have asked me to get an account and then this morning my husband asked me if I knew a certain person. I was amazed and said "yes, we went to school together how did you get that person`s name?" I`m 41 and haven`t heard from this person since I was a teen. My husband said he was contacted through his facebook account and the person introduced himself and said he wanted to get in contact with me.

However, this has been my position thus far:
1) I`m a private person. I don`t like the idea of publicizing my personal self and life all over the world with a facebook page.
2) I feel if someone I know wants to contact me, I`m easy to locate and I prefer much more private, personal, and individual emails rather than putting it all out there on a page for all to read.
3) My husband, DAD, and sister all have facebook accounts and all sorts of people they met throughout their lives pop back in. It`s actually amazing the number of contacts they have, but at the same time I wonder if sometimes chapters in our life close and should remain closed. Maybe the memories of people should be cherished without reopening or even starting a relationship. I mean some people we went to school with or worked with but did not necessarily have a close relationship with them so to engage would really be starting a relationship rather than reopening.
4) I wonder if opening and maintaining an account would be too time consuming.

So these are the reasons I`ve not opened an account. I wonder about others? Do you or don`t you have an account?

 

[jasoncran]

Do you have a facebook account why or why not?

I`m asking because lately several people have asked me to get an account and then this morning my husband asked me if I knew a certain person. I was amazed and said "yes, we went to school together how did you get that person`s name?" I`m 41 and haven`t heard from this person since I was a teen. My husband said he was contacted through his facebook account and the person introduced himself and said he wanted to get in contact with me.

However, this has been my position thus far:
1) I`m a private person. I don`t like the idea of publicizing my personal self and life all over the world with a facebook page.
2) I feel if someone I know wants to contact me, I`m easy to locate and I prefer much more private, personal, and individual emails rather than putting it all out there on a page for all to read.
3) My husband, DAD, and sister all have facebook accounts and all sorts of people they met throughout their lives pop back in. It`s actually amazing the number of contacts they have, but at the same time I wonder if sometimes chapters in our life close and should remain closed. Maybe the memories of people should be cherished without reopening or even starting a relationship. I mean some people we went to school with or worked with but did not necessarily have a close relationship with them so to engage would really be starting a relationship rather than reopening.
4) I wonder if opening and maintaining an account would be too time consuming.

So these are the reasons I`ve not opened an account. I wonder about others? Do you or don`t you have an account?

i have an account and many of these members here on my friends.

you can be open or closed as you choose thus the account settings.

 

[Nick]

I also have a Facebook account. As Jason said, you can choose how much personal information you put out there, and you have the options of private messages and private or group chats in addition to public "wall" postings. It's also a great way to share photos and do all kinds of cool stuff through various apps.

It can at times be time consuming, but that depends on how many "friends" you have and how active you choose to be on it. It's a social networking tool, so if you don't many friends that are on Facebook, then it's probably more worth your time just using emails etc. It just comes down to perosnal choice. You can always try it and see how it goes.

The thing for me is that you can organise all kinds of events etc on Facebook, taht for me that's really convenient, and my friends and I do a lot of stuff like that on there, plus those of us that have moved away geographically can still keep in touch with all of us easily.

 

[Danny63]

I too have a face book page. I like it and you can as others have said have your settings private. If someone does try to friend request you, you have the option to ignore them or add them. Just because they find you on there does not mean you have to except them on your list.

I am not so much into the games on there, I tried a farm game, got sucked into it for about 3 months, oh my goodness it took me away from everything lol. But I gave that up and now just use it for the people I keep in contact with.
I am living in Michigan but I am from Philadelphia, so I get to keep up with all my family back home, and here I get to stay in touch with all my friends in and out of the ministry and so forth. I can keep track of special events such as concerts, birthdays, speaking engagements and so on.

I think it is (for me) much better then my space I do not have one of them.

 

[D4Christ]

I don't have an account because it doesn't seem to be worth my effort. If I wanted to stay in touch with old friends I probably would have done so. I feel that there is a reason I stopped talking or dealing with certain people and agree that some chapters are best left closed.

I'm not knocking those who like facebook...it just doesn't fit my personality. I think if it does not peak your interst or personality, then you should leave it alone.

Deirdre

 

[reba]

PJT,

I have an account i see what my grandson the is up to. I dont like it. Face book is like being in the high school cafeteria. IT is noisey and then your picture or name and location seems to be every where. I don't like it. My son says "Mom your in the 'net ' anyway ya might as well enjoy it. I dont

 

[pjt]

Thank you for your replies; they are all good food for thought. I don`t know if I am ready to jump out there, and I definitely don`t want to post pictures especially of my children which I find to be way too private and personal. Only the most trusted and valued people in my life get the privilege of having pictures of my children because I don`t want their pictures to fall into the wrong hands and be floating about in cyberspace. It is my duty as a mom to protect them. So pictures are out and as a woman I don`t want to send my picture floating about either. And like Danny, I doubt I would be interested in the games. If I did do it, my primary reason would just to be to quiet the people that keep asking me to join and to communicate with them of course! Since I have not done facebook I can not quite understand but it seems like communication is easier with facebook than email? I can`t imagine anything easier than email but I have this feeling because the people that have been asking me to join are not interested in email, but my image of facebook is somewhat negative. I just see it as putting your private life all out on a page for anyone to access.

 

[Nick]

Thank you for your replies; they are all good food for thought. I don`t know if I am ready to jump out there, and I definitely don`t want to post pictures especially of my children which I find to be way too private and personal. Only the most trusted and valued people in my life get the privilege of having pictures of my children because I don`t want their pictures to fall into the wrong hands and be floating about in cyberspace. It is my duty as a mom to protect them. So pictures are out and as a woman I don`t want to send my picture floating about either. And like Danny, I doubt I would be interested in the games. If I did do it, my primary reason would just to be to quiet the people that keep asking me to join and to communicate with them of course! Since I have not done facebook I can not quite understand but it seems like communication is easier with facebook than email? I can`t imagine anything easier than email but I have this feeling because the people that have been asking me to join are not interested in email, but my image of facebook is somewhat negative. I just see it as putting your private life all out on a page for anyone to access.

pjt, do what you feel you should do. Don't let people pressure you into doing something you're not confortable with, but Facebook may make communication easier.
But just to be clear, you're not putting information out for everyone, only those who you wish to see it.

 

[reba]

But just to be clear, you're not putting information out for everyone, only those who you wish to see it

.


Ok nick you are way more computerized then this ol gal.. i thought my stuff was privet but it got on, into, some how ended up in 'bing' . So what happened? any guesses?

 

[pjt]

PJT,

I have an account i see what my grandson the is up to. I dont like it. Face book is like being in the high school cafeteria. IT is noisey and then your picture or name and location seems to be every where. I don't like it. My son says "Mom your in the 'net ' anyway ya might as well enjoy it. I dont

Reba and Deirdre both your feelings reflect mine! I know this is the computer age and I know basically everyone is doing it, but does that mean I have to do it? And does it mean I would enjoy it? Somehow I think the answer is no. I like my privacy. Even with my sister I told her when she goes on facebook she should enjoy it but please leave me out of it. I don`t want her posting my pictures and sharing information about me on her page or with our mutual acquaintances. I don`t have anything to hide, but I just like have some control over what information goes out about my personal family life. I feel like if someone really wants to talk to me, just email me and I will email back. Why do we have to communicate through a public space like facebook? It makes no sense to me.

 

[Nick]

.


Ok nick you are way more computerized then this ol gal.. i thought my stuff was privet but it got on, into, some how ended up in 'bing' . So what happened? any guesses?

Go to your privacy settings, you should be able to set everything to "friends only".

 

[Danny63]

pj I would say for you it may not be the rite fit. And I do not blame you there, it is not for everyone. I like the networking capabilities and I do not mind some of my info out there, but as Nick and others have said, just go to your profile settings and set it to friends only and you can even make it stronger then that, you can set it to you only and then no one sees anything unless you let that person. So the privacy is totally in your hands... or so they say....

What I mean by "so they say" remember this is the internet, and we all out here are just codes on a page no matter what settings they give us, there is sure to be someone out here that can break that code, so be careful....

 

[Mike]

I was the first in our house to get an account. My wife scoffed at me. Two years later, and she's all over it. I lost interest in it a year ago. The only time I ever go on is to check on my son's account. I have ZERO interest in Facebook.

 

[reba]

Thanks Nick I went back and closed it up a bit more. The way some things are worded can get ya confused i thought it was as closed as could be.


Some times we can think our stuff is privet and it just ain't.


I am liking the firefox what ever it is,and the spell check thanks Mike.

 

[handy]

One thing you might consider is that when your kids are teens, they will want a Facebook account...trust me on this, they will...and, when they get their accounts, either you or their father should have full access to them.

I about howled one day when I saw some "advice" written in a teen magazine that my daughter was reading about how to handle it when parents want to look in on their teenager's Facebook account. The "advice" was to tell the parents, "My Facebook is like my personal diary."

:toofunny

2

No, Facebook is NOT anything at all like a personal diary, and any parent who allow their kids be on it without some supervision is being a bit derelict in their duty.

Since your husband has an account, he might be the one checking in on them, but if for some reason it won't work out for him to do it, you might want to get an account, just to familiarize yourself with it before your kids get theirs.

Other than that...if you truly don't want one, don't get one. I'm on quite a bit, and have enjoyed getting back in touch with some of my old high school friends and keep in touch with relatives who live far away...but I could live without it. Now, this forum here, I'd go into withdrawals if I have to stay away for long!

 

[pjt]

pjt, do what you feel you should do. Don't let people pressure you into doing something you're not confortable with, but Facebook may make communication easier.
But just to be clear, you're not putting information out for everyone, only those who you wish to see it.

I don`t think it is as private as people think. For example, my friend has a closed account yet if you type in her name on the computer her facebook picture with her daughter comes up for all to see. I think pictures and information can also be passed around so it can get outside of your loop and go places you never would have expected or wanted it to go. Of course, with email someone could forward your mail to someone else but I`ve never had something like that to happen. In email, it is more like private mail so there is an understanding of this is between the 2 friends only. With facebook it is public so the feeling of privacy seems to vanish at least that is my feeling about it.

Also I don`t know if it is so good for just anybody to have such easy access. I am a married woman with children so I don`t know if I would feel comfortable if my old male classmates started contacting me as one tried to do this morning. I am sure his intentions were purely innocent. I have no doubts about that, but I don`t know if it is healthy for a married woman to start spending time reengaging old relationships with males from her past. Actually I know a woman who had an old high school male friend to contact her and they started communicating a lot, it moved forward to her wanting to see him, and the result was her marriage ended because she got caught up in an online relationship with another man. The relationship did not work out in the end so her life was left with a messy divorce. I`m not afraid I would go in that direction, but I just question the wisdom of married men and women getting into online relationships.

 

[pjt]

I was the first in our house to get an account. My wife scoffed at me. Two years later, and she's all over it. I lost interest in it a year ago. The only time I ever go on is to check on my son's account. I have ZERO interest in Facebook.

Why do you have "zero" interest?

 

[pjt]

handy, I agree with something public like facebook, it cannot be considered anything close to a private diary. I don`t know if I would let my children make a facebook page though. I live in Asia so the same pressures for teens to have a page is not here at least not at this time. That may change when they get older. If it does, I might reconsider. The more I think about it, I don`t think facebook is for me at this time. Sometime in the future if I could make a page just to share thoughts about God and encourage people, I might do that but I don`t think I want to use it as a means of personal communication.

 

[cleanfreak]

I don`t think it is as private as people think.

you are correct. Did anybody else see CNBC's documentary " The Facebook Obsession"?

 

[Mike]

Why do you have "zero" interest?

I just see a lot of irrelevant nonsense people clutter it up with - stuff I don't need or want to know. I've also seen and heard of many times when there have been nasty disputes between people right there for all to see. A few times, it got pretty intense, and there were real jabs being traded. I never canceled my account, because one thing I like is the reminders of birthdays. I'm terrible at keeping track of that. So I get alerts sent to my phone. (Interesting that even if you do cancel your account, your profile can still be drawn up. :bigfrown Thanks for that tip pjt! )

To Handy's point, it is imperative to be on top of the kids Facebook account. And having them friend you isn't enough, because they can adjust the settings to only show certain things to certain "friends". Our son's high school had a seminar on cyber-safety with a lot of time devoted to Facebook. I thought if I was his friend, I could see everything that he made available to everyone, but he could be hiding certain things from me as a friend.

So, my wife and I have his ID and password, and he knows we're at liberty to log on anytime. This is important for anyone considering whether to allow their kids to create an account. Make it a bargaining chip: "If you do get an account, we will have your ID/PW. This is non-negotiable." That's an easy play when they're begging to have an account - not so easy once they have one.

Sorry this was mostly focused on parenting. :gah