[__ Prayer __] Family issue with wife.. she is always upset and angry

[Edward]

I disagree.God does not want His children to be abused.He does not want us to be door mats.We give this to God and wait for an answer.Sometimes we need to separate ourselves from an abusive person and situation.If you don't then you are being sadistic and just asking for it.This whole situation should be given to God but in the meantime God wants a person to be safe.God wants us to live in peace.

I don't know about that, Kathi. Sounds like it could be a rationalization. Tis' true that God wants us to live in peace and not be abused, but he also wants us to endure and overcome. This teaches us patience, faith, and perhaps other things also.

He doesn't sound like he's being abused. He's sleeping in the hallway, but he didn't say anything about her beating on him or some such like that. For all we/he knows, this could be a test of faith for him in this life. If so, then he should hang in there and pray for her. We all know that God can take a bad situation and use it for good for those who love Him. Perhaps, if he hangs in there, and continues to pray and set a good example, then the Lord will bring her back to Him, and increase his harvest and His glory forevermore.

Cutting and running seems to be a way of life anymore, and God doesn't want this!

 

[Matthew77ask]

I don't know about that, Kathi. Sounds like it could be a rationalization. Tis' true that God wants us to live in peace and not be abused, but he also wants us to endure and overcome. This teaches us patience, faith, and perhaps other things also.

He doesn't sound like he's being abused. He's sleeping in the hallway, but he didn't say anything about her beating on him or some such like that. For all we/he knows, this could be a test of faith for him in this life. If so, then he should hang in there and pray for her. We all know that God can take a bad situation and use it for good for those who love Him. Perhaps, if he hangs in there, and continues to pray and set a good example, then the Lord will bring her back to Him, and increase his harvest and His glory forevermore.

Cutting and running seems to be a way of life anymore, and God doesn't want this!

I am not been hit - physically - but verbally. To me - it hurts even more. There are no "communication" at all between us - just orders from her to me - fetch me here- send me there. Right now, I just swallow all these and take it - giving into God Grace being sufficient for me.

I could not do anything - because she is not opening up - relaxing and entrusting the situation to God.
To put things in a perspective, have you encounter before an office coworker, or a stall helper etc that you just dislike- and every single thing that this person does irritates you. Although the person does nothing out of the way to hurt you or spite you. The person is just doing what is the norm.
But you just can't stand the sight of him.
This is the situation at home, with me... I am depressed.
What keeps me going is the support from my children and others. and God.
I can only say that He is my strength to keep me going.

 

[Edward]

I am not been hit - physically - but verbally. To me - it hurts even more. There are no "communication" at all between us - just orders from her to me - fetch me here- send me there. Right now, I just swallow all these and take it - giving into God Grace being sufficient for me.

I could not do anything - because she is not opening up - relaxing and entrusting the situation to God.
To put things in a perspective, have you encounter before an office coworker, or a stall helper etc that you just dislike- and every single thing that this person does irritates you. Although the person does nothing out of the way to hurt you or spite you. The person is just doing what is the norm.
But you just can't stand the sight of him.
This is the situation at home, with me... I am depressed.
What keeps me going is the support from my children and others. and God.
I can only say that He is my strength to keep me going.

It does sound like a bad situation and I feel for you brother. When I come across someone who rubs me the wrong way, I just stay away from them...but you're married, so you've got your work cut out for you.

Pray a lot and try not to do anything that would exacerbate the situation and be patient for the Lord to work is all I have for you at this point.

I guess I should praise the Lord that I am not in such a situation. I seem to have been more lucky in this area than many.

 

[Kathi]

 

[GrannyJ]

Matthew, would your wife consider marriage guidance counselling? Some won't, but it can be very productive in a situation like yours.

Also, see what you can find on Non Violent Communication -ways of getting your point across without provoking the other person.

I do pray that God will take control of the situation; as you say, verbal abuse can be more hurtful than physical abuse.

Dear Lord, please let these two people find a way to open their hearts to each other. Please heal this woman's anger and give Matthew wisdom in all his dealings with her.

 

[Matthew77ask]

Marriage counselling ? we did went for a few sessions.
She wants the counselor to change me...
.. she thinks the problem is me and me only...
I have accommodated her in every way and any way I could.
I am doing this to maintain the peace and harmony in the house and family.
It takes two to quarrel and argue. So if I absorb - then she can't start too many stuff.
I choose to stay away - vs confrontation.

During the counselling sessions my counselor did see the change in me - more accommodating
and can "with- stand" the onslaught (to a certain extent.) more and more.

The only thing that I can rely on now is my faith with GOD. - I still believe He will restore my marriage

But it is very tough while waiting...


I have taken a vow to be there for her. and being a father I need to be with my children too.

 

[Edward]

Count your blessings that she doesn't hit you, lol. I had an ex who was fond of that. I left her sitting in McDonalds while I "went to the bathroom" lol.

 

[AirDancer]

You and your family continue in my prayers, Matthew77ask .

 

[Kathi]

Count your blessings that she doesn't hit you, lol. I had an ex who was fond of that. I left her sitting in McDonalds while I "went to the bathroom" lol.

I know a lady who was left at Disneyland with their two kids.There was no abuse.He just left them there and never came back.

 

[GrannyJ]

Prayers with you. May you be wise in your dealings with your wife, and may God reach her heart so that she too will reach out and try to save the marriage.

 

[Edward]

I know a lady who was left at Disneyland with their two kids.There was no abuse.He just left them there and never came back.

Man oh man, there's too much of that going on. My old GF that I left at McD's had no ties with me, we didn't have kids or I wouldn't have done that. Our relationship was getting long in the tooth and it was about time to take a step or back off, and with her character and tendency to violence I knew I didn't want to be with her for the long haul.

My (now-ex) wife was pregnant before we got married and we hadn't even thought of marriage, but when I noticed she was pregnant, I wasn't even scared. I just figured it was my time, and she was a sweet girl so I figured let's do it, and went right out and got us a place together and started talking marriage.

I taught my kids that they shouldn't sleep with a girl if they're not willing to marry her...have some honor. :nod

 

[reba]

how about not sleeping with any one your not married too.

 

[Edward]

how about not sleeping with any one your not married too.

Exactly. But they're still young and (wont) grasp that yet I believe. I have told them. I also told them to leave the young virgin girls alone, that's somebody's wife. (No it's not, he said)...It's someones future wife...