When last did you spank your child? Maybe you are afraid he could hate you or phone up the police,
Or maybe he'd love the other parent more.
Or maybe you did not want to teach your child that inflicting physical pain is what you do when you need someone's attention or things are not going your way. I think spanking is a very confusing message for children. You're not doing what I want, so I will strike you with my hand or a rod or some tool, and your physical pain is my love.
Thanks Rhea for posting again.
Spanking doesn't work for all children. In this case parents ought to be very careful. My intention here (and throughout the thread) is to correct our impression that all about Spanking a child is sheer wickedness. Spanking Still belongs to the modern world. And like I said before, Spanking does not work for all children. Some children need mere words to change them. Some need Spanking - not murder attempt in the name of spanking.
I have witnessed wicked measures where parents starve their children in the name of punishing them.
I believe Spanking is only necessary only when 'very necessary' and just like handy has said:
In our house spankings were the consequenses for serious misbehavior
Yes handy!
And Rhea, spanking can be a very confusing message to children when we miss to apply it at the right time and way. If a kid commits handy's offence (I guess handy has got a theory
named after the inventor handy - handy's three D's theory or HTD :D) that child should be punished immediately.
Take for instance, if a hand's offence involves a child inserting a blade in her mouth, your instant attitude is to take it away from her. I suggest you spank her immediately and not after when she must have forgotten what she did. The child will always remember there is Something very wrong with using blades in the mouth (that is when you use harsh measures). She won't repeat that dangerous act. You can see that in this case handy's theory is verified, applicable and accepted.
It is always wrong to spank that child later. She does not know why you are even doing it.
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A child did Something bad and the father spanked her some days after:
She witnessed the father returning from work and went to welcome him. The father remembering what she did the other time (the mother already told her father) immediately spanked her.
She cried and fled. Days after the child never went as usual to welcome the father from work all the time he came home. All other kids went. This child always ran away.
The parents were confused and worried about her strange and sudden behaviour.
It was later that they realised what they did, (i.e., spanking the child at the wrong time.). so the child had thought it was wrong welcoming the father from work and had always ran away in order not to receiver another spanking.
It took time to correct that problem.
That is were spanking could be confusing to children.
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I pity our parents who over-pamper their children. How long will you follow your child's dictate? I do not believe a parent must be ๆservileๆ in order to make a child love him/her.
I think it is fairly easy to use something besides spanking and not be servile.
6 Train up a child in the way he should go,
And when he is old he will not depart from it. But is using physical force when one is not getting one's desires the way you want your child to go? I don't want to train them to do that. I would very much like them to depart from that.
Yes! And thanks for the points. I did not deliberately avoid them. That verse does not talk about physical force or harsh corrections alone. We simply need the right measures. The ways could be pray for that kid, spank the kid to correct, teach her the word of God, teach her the moral life, etc.
Our children today are getting naughtier and naughtier all Because we refused to show them the other side of love, that is, spanking them - in order to bring them back to their senses.
It's my experience that what makes children naughtier and naughtier is the parents not wanting to take the time to parent. I have seen spanked children and non-spanked children who behave well. In those cases, the parents take the time to be face-to-face with the child. Take the time to be a parent, to teach, to explain, to correct. I ahve seen both spanked and non-spanked children be little monsters. And in those cases I see parents who do not take time to connect and talk - spank! Do better! - and turn back to their adult pursuits.
This goes to the People who think it is always wrong to spank our kids. I like your respons here, Rhea.
Parents have a lot to do, and parenting is not only spanking them to correct them.
So for our People who condemn it entirely - spanking is not completely wrong.
Parents are not always to blame. Our government is guilty too.
Today you spank a child and the next minute he phones up the police - and they could get you arrested.
Let me see that government that will stop me from doing a Godly thing towards them.
This seems like an exaggeration. It is very VERY rare that anything comes from such a complaint. Very rare that they are even made. In many more cases, the spanking which go far beyond spanking are never interfered, never reported.
The government does not have anything much to do with this.
I'm not exaggerating here. I have witnessed this in schools. (The punishment must not be spanking: asking a kid to kneel for a short duration is not evil, asking a child to stand is not bad) Teachers are warned not to spank ( or better put punish) little ones. No sane teacher does a gruesome spanking. No sane teacher spanks using branches of a tree. The truth is that no parent wants his or her child to weep outside (although some parents appreciate having their little ones corrected in love). The problem is that these parents are trouble-makers who are ready to sue you for your kind correction.
I have witnessed it in our homes too.
Ones a child screams (and we know how good they scream even when nothing has happened) he or she alerts the neighbors. The neighbors think something horrible is taking place. What next? What do the neighbors do? 911.
At a point in my area the government and their intervention sets in.
You give a kid some advice and he looks at you and boldy says, 'I'm not gonna do that!' Go get a cane!!!
Or, get right into a conversation with them and say, "I'm so sorry you are having trouble acting correctly. I will have to hold you right here by myside so that you do not trouble others around you. And next time, I had better not bring you because you are disruptive. When you realize that being polite is required in society, then you will be ready to come back out."
And then follow up at home with discussion to help the child understand what would happen in their own world if the behavior they exhibited was "okay". It is a life-long process, don't think I'm spinning out a platitude. Remember I said above the problems come when parents think there is a quick fix (like a spanking, I would say!)There is no quick fix. You spend your life teaching your children, not dictating to them - teaching them. Children are not bad, they are unfinished. Help them get finished. Teach, don't punish, IMHO.
Yes Rhea! Genius!
Adopted.
I remember my neighbor has used this to solve a huge problem between her and the child and at last the child obeyed.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
And for extreme cases where a child would not hear...may God help
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
and spank him mercilessly. He won't die. You have done it in love.
Show them you Really love them. But do not be cruel towards them.
I don't see how "mercilessly" fits with love or not being cruel.
The impression People could get here is, a parent uses chisel, hammer, crowbar, and mercilessly deals with... :D.
This is not my intention. Some children are good at crying and pleading before spanking takes place. A parent could decide to leave them. The next day they'd do another, and when they see you raise your hand to spank them : 'I'm sorry dad...forgive me mom...I promise to be like Moses of the bible and like timothy and like...
Ignore every plea - this is what I mean by 'mercilessly' - the spanking takes place - and in love
© HTD references from handy's three D's theory or HTD/H3D - to avoid landing me in jail - for the sake of plagiarism
