[__ Prayer __] forgive 70x7

[Christ_empowered]

i need some prayers on this one. i get bullied...cannot say I can blame people, honestly. I -was- a total wretch, big time. I mean, outside of the streets, prison, or the state hospital...

one would have been hard pressed to find a person as wretched as I was. I'm not saying that to be hard on myself...its kind of a recent realization, actually. blah.


so, now, 6 1/2 years into my walk with The Lord...I'm not so wretched. Don't get me wrong; here on earth, -no one- is 110% who we should be, could be...its the nature of sin, satan, self, death, and the world. the grit and grime of a fallen world, basically. and yet...

i need to work on forgiving. ive forgiven a lot of people. i can actually pray for some people by name, occasionally, and I do OK with it...I'm not an anger ball, I'm not flying off the handle, I'm not bitter and broken....

but I need to forgive people even when there's nothing in it for me, even when they might laugh if they heard me praying for them, even when and if they mock and taunt me and I don't think I know them. so, there's that.

i -was- a broken, wretched sinner...then a broken, wretched repentant individual....now I'm a New Creation in Christ Jesus, and with all my flaws and such...God has been (and is) incredibly Good to me. My parents are even incredibly good to me, and I wasted all kindsa $$$ on less than nothing, put them thru misery, etc....

I pray for the development of some genuine Christian character, with forgiveness and long suffering and patience and meekness topping the list. oh, and some humility. I'm not pathologically prideful now or filled with excessive, crippling self-love, but...

I don't think that's saying much, in The Kingdom of God. At the same time, I Praise The Lord (!!!) for sparing and saving and transforming me. I just...have a ways to go, that's all.

Thanks, y'all.

 

[stovebolts]

We all have a way to go brother.
Forgiving doesn't always mean you won't experience those hurtful feelings. It just means those hurtful feelings will no longer consume or control you. In other words, you won't react in a negative way when the old thoughts start to saturate your mind because they no longer saturate your thought.... New thoughts are taking their place and those new thoughts are healthy, not destructive.

 

[Christ_empowered]

good points.

it gets...frustrating...but I'm moving along, by God's grace. Its dawned on me that I was so low status that I was essentially....a non-entity. now, I'm -not- well liked, men in particular are vocal about their disdain for me (I was 'flamboyantly gay'--I kinda suspect health probs and nutritional deficiencies played a big role...Jesus has made me surprisingly normal, now...), and that...that's rough. but, hey...

The Lord has seen fit to bring me out of darkness and into the light. I am increasingly thankful. Plus...

you're correct, of course; the rough feelings+thoughts may very well continue, to a point...this is Christianity, not therapy...but I can go thru them, despite the taunting, bullying, etc....

beause '...greater is He who is in me than he who is in the world...'

thanks.

 

[HeIsRisen2018]

I don't always forgive others for them, but for myself. Anger and hate aren't feelings that you want to have consume you. Especially when you're a child of God.

 

[Christ_empowered]

that's the thing...now, its not really anger and hate (it -was- for waaay too long...I Praise God for His work in my life...), its more like...

frustration. a sense of oppression, at times. fear, too. far less intense now than in times not so long past, but...there, nonetheless. and...

not to keep rehashing, but it gets difficult to just move on when i get bullied with things from 'back then' being thrown up in my face. to be fair...

'this is what poor people go through!' a redneck-y dude yelled that in my general direction, when I was living in poverty in this area, maybe 6, 7 years ago. hahaha. thing is...

'...wise as serpents, innocent as doves...' its good to be saved. it is also necessary to know what one has been (and is being, will be) saved from, as well. I got (miraculously) saved in poverty, facing trouble, not healthy, estranged from my parents, and still living in an electro-shocked fairy land. so...

now, im not in poverty, im out of trouble (Praise God!), I'm healthy, my parents and I are on good terms, and I do, now, increasingly live in 'the real world...'

because its God's world, really, and I've (somehow...) been grafted onto the tree, like so many other formerly wretched individuals...

and I do have so, so much to be thankful for, I really do. its just often decidedly not easy, that's all.

 

[HeIsRisen2018]

Nowhere in the Bible does Jesus say that forgiving others and loving one another was going to be easy though. In fact quite the contrary. Matthew 5:43-45.

 

[Christ_empowered]

good Scripture selection. thanks.

 

[Michael74]

i get bullied...cannot say I can blame people, honestly.

Nonsense. You are not to blame for other people bullying you. It is totally their sin, not yours. Never blame the victim.

Good to forgive though, and agape them.

For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. Matthew 6:14-15 NIV

 

[HeIsRisen2018]

Nonsense. You are not to blame for other people bullying you. It is totally their sin, not yours. Never blame the victim.

Good to forgive though, and agape them.

For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. Matthew 6:14-15 NIV

As somebody who has also been a bully target myself, I also needed to hear that so thank you.

 

[HeIsRisen2018]

Bullies just need to get a life if they seriously have nothing better to do than to pick on other people who are different just to make them feel better about themselves. Just goes to show that they have very low self-esteems.

 

[Christ_empowered]

blah. i dont blame myself for the bullying, i think im saying...I was a wretch, i messed up, etc. etc. etc., and i was very low status. its not my -fault- , but its kinda like...

'welcome to the real world' -- these factors, combined, often= crazy amounts of cruelty from all over. blah. :-(

i try to remind myself...people on the broad road, in and of the world...pick on people, destroy people, etc. God doesn't. He judges sin and the wicked, but He's also all about building people up, if they'll humble themselves and pray, seek His face, etc. And Christians...

Christians have often been the only people I could rely on to help me, sometimes even take pity on me. Now that I've been saved a bit over 6 years...

I try to remind myself that the bullies and tormentors -are- people, with their own problems and such, and also...they're stuck on the broad road, just like I was until Jesus saved me. also...

it goes without saying, its rough to be poor. LOL. the OT seems to speak about -not- oppressing the weak, vulnerable, poor, etc. a good bit...

and now, I know -why-.

but seriously...it isn't that I blame myself, its more like...in a Christian way, I'm trying to remember an old 60s+70s political slogan, "the personal is political." From a Christian perspective...there's a spiritual element to the whole thing, but its also worth noting that The World exists as a force to be recknoned with, for all of us, this side of Heaven.

 

[Michael74]

...people on the broad road...

I shudder to think of what will happen to the majority one day.

Christians have often been the only people I could rely on to help me...

I am happy that the Lord commanded us to love each other. May His name be praised forever.

 

[HeIsRisen2018]

Believe it or not I used to be a bully myself. I thought that since other people were picking on me it would make me feel better if I picked on other people. The truth is that it didn't. I finally decided to be the better person and repented even though it took me a long time to do so,.. but hey, better late than never I always say.

 

[Michael74]

Believe it or not I used to be a bully myself. I thought that since other people were picking on me it would make me feel better if I picked on other people.

The devil was trying to make you hate others, so that you would share the devil's fate. I am glad that you rejected hate, and chose to love as the Lord commands. There is nothing, absolutely nothing, that is worth being tossed into the bad place forever.

We only have to put up with those who hate for a little while, then they will harm us no more.

 

[stovebolts]

good points.

it gets...frustrating...but I'm moving along, by God's grace. Its dawned on me that I was so low status that I was essentially....a non-entity. now, I'm -not- well liked, men in particular are vocal about their disdain for me (I was 'flamboyantly gay'--I kinda suspect health probs and nutritional deficiencies played a big role...Jesus has made me surprisingly normal, now...), and that...that's rough. but, hey...

The Lord has seen fit to bring me out of darkness and into the light. I am increasingly thankful. Plus...

you're correct, of course; the rough feelings+thoughts may very well continue, to a point...this is Christianity, not therapy...but I can go thru them, despite the taunting, bullying, etc....

beause '...greater is He who is in me than he who is in the world...'

thanks.

Absolutely!

The beauty of life is this. The past will never define who we are, it only tells the story of where we've been.

God is in the business of transformation, and Paul reminds of us of the renewing of our mind.

What is renewing if it's not being made new? This tells us that our mind can become jagged, torn, in disrepair because as you know, life isn't fair. So this renewing in part is to recapture the vibrancy many felt as an innocent child which was filled with wonder and awe. It's ironic how the world can make us cynical... You know, scripture says that the old men will start to dream again. Why? Because this world has a way of stealing your dreams, and then your aspirations simply cease and joy is mostly found in retelling of stories of your youth before ones dreams and aspirations were stolen.

And this brings us to identity. We are children, no... We are Sons of God and that is where we find our identity.

When my child was young we were watching a show on evolution. My son looked at me and said, "They just don't know". Ironically, Jesus said the same thing on the cross...

Knowing they just don't know better helps us to forgive. We're not condoning their behavior, but understanding they are the blind leading the blind leaves us with some hope that one day they will see the light.

 

[HeIsRisen2018]

You know I sort of believe in evolution even though I believe in Christianity. My beliefs are really complicated sorry lol! Anyways, to make a long story short,.. I think that one of the major reasons that Jesus tells us to love our enemies and forgive others is because He realizes that there's hope for everybody and He never pushes away the ones who decide to come to Him. I believe anybody who wants to can change but they're the ones who are going to have to do it because nobody else can do it for them. As Christians we can only sow the seeds and pray for them,.. but when you look at it something so small can make such a big difference.

 

[Christ_empowered]

me, yet again. thank you, all of you, for the thoughtful replies, Scripture, and support.

I keep saying it, mostly for me, but also because its true...compared to most "mental patients," I live like a King. Seriously. I'm not saying that in a bragging sort of way, because its a mix of God's Goodness and some worldly factors, but...

ugh. rough as this is, I think about what people I've seen at the clinic must go thru...control, control, control! did I mention that control is often the name of the game? LOL. not just the psych people, either...people, in general, have a problem with the 'severely mentally ill' and want us out of their space. of course...

in my case, before i was regarded as a 'mental patient,' i was regarded as a 'rinky dink middle class loser,' which just goes to show you...the world is rough, cruel, and unforgiving. blah. now...

apparently, some people tried (again) to ruin my parents' careers at some point. mama's retired, so she's safe...dad's moved up enough, has a good boss now...by God's grace, he's come thru it OK, too. point is...

a lot of this is just...the way the world works, sadly enough. they saw a 'loser,' etc. who 'got religion.' thankfully, Jesus saw a dude most in need of mercy and...

here I am, over 6 years into my walk with Him. I"m healthy, now. I'm free, now. free from the oppression of poverty mixed with stigma (for me, the stigma and oppression were the worst parts of poverty...I could deal with not having much fun stuff...), free from...

the whole shebang, it seems. no mental hospitals in over 10 years. no drugs in about the same amount of time. free from the anger and rage that defined me, for so long. and...

here's the rub, for me: the world is the same, maybe a tad worse. and now that I'm a Christian--"...in the world, but not of it..."-- He who lives in me rubs those in the world 'the wrong way.' Honestly...

If I'd said "Buddha healed me!" or something, anything but "Jesus healed me!," I don't think I'd be getting this level of friction. Just goes to prove...

Isaiah 55:11 and also John 15:18. To be fair, people didn't care for me, anyway...and what I go thru pales in comparison to what Christians in, say, India or Pakistan go thru (which is a topic I'm now taking more and more of an interest in...).

ok. from me--once a weakling, destroyed by the usual suspects (sin, satan, self, death, and the world), and now more than a conqueror, in Christ Jesus-- thanks, again.

 

[stovebolts]

You know I sort of believe in evolution even though I believe in Christianity. My beliefs are really complicated sorry lol! Anyways, to make a long story short,.. I think that one of the major reasons that Jesus tells us to love our enemies and forgive others is because He realizes that there's hope for everybody and He never pushes away the ones who decide to come to Him. I believe anybody who wants to can change but they're the ones who are going to have to do it because nobody else can do it for them. As Christians we can only sow the seeds and pray for them,.. but when you look at it something so small can make such a big difference.

Exactly!

(Except the evolution stuff lol)

 

[HeIsRisen2018]

Exactly!

(Except the evolution stuff lol)

Sorry I really don't want to get into a debate of whether or not Christianity and evolution can coexist right now.

 

[Christ_empowered]

blah. stuff that happened to me happened to 'mental patients' back in the day...well, OK...I guess it -still- happens (ridicule, exploitation, etc.). thing is...

the official story is that I've 'recovered from treatment' and such, but thing is...

11 years ago, i had to get a brain scan (got bashed on the head with a pipe). back then, it was clear that I should "...be a vegetable...," to quote one of the psych nurses. part my own drug abuse, a lot of it was from 'treatment,' which in my case...

involved involuntary shock 'treatments' and an operation or two (not voluntary). I didn't even know the extent of what that 1st hospital had done until -after- the brain scan, so its kinda like...surprise! you're severely brain damaged! LOL.

but now I have a respectable IQ and...-much- more importantly...I'm not dead eyed, afflicted with tics (from 'treatment') and...yeah. IQ is only 1 factor...deal is, even with my 'severe mental illness,' im now better able to handle life, and I Praise God (!!!) for His love and mercy.

Deal is...no one should be electroshocked. even with 'informed consent,' its just brain damage, plain and simple. and...the 'informed consent' is not based on the actual data, so...yeah. good times. and operations? get serious. its not the 50s. again, its just deliberately inflicted brain damage.

so...God has seen fit to 1st spare me (when I was deep in darkness, no less) and then bring me out into the light, in and thru Jesus. I -am- increasingly thankful, and I'm a lot less...angry. I mean, no...I should not have been destroyed like that, but...psychiatrists have a long history of destroying people. At least I never had to go to a state hospital...something tells me it would have been 10x worse.

so, now...I've gone from being seriously bullied, terrorized for being brain damaged and stigmatized and a 'weakling,' basically...

to being bullied and taunted for being brought out of all that and recreated, as a surprisingly normal individual. I'm...actually not even flamboyantly gay now, which...helps, a lot. "gender nonconforming homosexuals" have a rough run of things, so its nice to -not- be effeminate. God is Good!

but its dawned on me that God's work in this world is, in fact, -always- met with opposition...

and a former wretch being made whole is not exactly what the world wants, especially in my community, for me. blah. :-(

so...no one should be bullied. i should not be bullied. its not my fault. im just trying to put things into context, perspective...it makes it easier for me to pray for people and forgive, more often and more completely (I'm getting there, God willing...).