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Forgiveness

humble soul said:
Ok I will share a problem I have now. I find it hard to forgive my boss. She ( oops I must be sexist), seems to treating other employees with more respect than me.
I am wrestling with whether it is my imagination or real. But recent incidents just seem to confirm this. Expecting me to clean up after other cleaners. ( Not customers). Giving one of my shifts to another cleaner. Promising one thing, then contradicting. The message seems to be "I'm the boss. You must respect me. But I don't have to respect you."
I find it almost impossible to forgive. As it is ongoing. And will continue.
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I use to have this happen to me all the time when I use to work and even got fired because I knew the manager was stealing, but just kept my mouth shut. I think there is always one in every job that pushes the grunt work on those who they do not like in hopes it causes them to quit. Stand your ground and be the humbled soul you are my friend.
 
humble soul said:
It is. Even the current problem I have with my boss, I blame myself. For either being too assertive or not assertive enough. My poor communication skills perhaps. And then I blame myself for allowing myself to slide into such a low status job as cleaner. It can be relentless self punishment.
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There is nothing wrong with being a cleaner as it is as a respectable job as any white collar job. It takes everyone to run a business and always take pride in a job well done as there is nothing wrong with that.
 
Jules_C said:
I often get haunted by my own mistakes, and the betrayals of others. There have been many.
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That's when you lay this burden down at the foot of the cross and know who you are in Christ. We all make mistakes, but if we do not learn and grow from them then we will keep repeating them.
 
Jules_C said:
Yes, but it is from Christians that the betrayals have been the worst...
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They usually are and it should not be. All we can do is love, pray and forgive those who come against us. Those who claim they are a Christian will stand a greater condemnation for what they do to others.
 
humble soul said:
The problem for Christians is always spiritual pride. Thinking they have progressed further than others. Arrogance. And condescension. Looking down on others.
My conclusion is these people are further from God than some atheists.
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Pro 6:16 These six things doth the LORD hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him:
Pro 6:17 A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood,
Pro 6:18 An heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief,
Pro 6:19 A false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren.
 
I forgive myself for not being funny today. But have I forgiven myself for not being funny yesterday? I hear you say...
 
As long as we are not lumping forgiveness in with reconciliation then I'm all for it. If one means a person must continue in an abusive relationship under the umbrella of forgiveness then I disagree. Forgiveness and reconciliation are sometimes not possible. Forgiveness is always possible even if that means moving to the other side of the world.
 
humble soul said:
It is. Even the current problem I have with my boss, I blame myself. For either being too assertive or not assertive enough. My poor communication skills perhaps. And then I blame myself for allowing myself to slide into such a low status job as cleaner. It can be relentless self punishment.
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No matter what your job you deserve respect. Where would we be without cleaners? We would all be very ill.
It can be a hard job too. I don't think of any job as low status. You can hold your head up high !
 
stovebolts said:
My wife and I have been attending a small group where we are going through a seminar called Pathways to Wholeness”. It is a very powerful seminar and I wanted to share a summary on the events that might hinder our choice to forgive.

1. A painful hurt or injustice.
Memories may be so painful that being able to forgive can seem impossible. Jesus came to heal the brokenhearted. Trust him to heal you. Isaiah 61:1

2. Waiting for an apology from the person who hurt us.
Since that apology may never happen, we would stay in sin and be bound by our choice not to forgive.

3. The person continues hurting me.
Jesus instructs us that we are to forgive 490 times a day. Matthew 18:21-22

4. Thinking that forgiving the person would be the same as excusing what they did.
God is not asking us to excuse or pretend the hurt did not happen. Forgiving is not excusing, it is a choice to release the other person from our judgment, and let God be the judge instead!

5. They do not deserve forgiveness.
None of us deserve forgiveness. Our sins were forgiven in Christ Jesus. He paid the price. It is our choice to be obedient to do what Jesus asked: forgive others as you have been forgiven.

Bitterness:
choosing to hold onto unforgiveness causes bitterness. Bitterness is corrosive.


RC Ministry | Pathways To Wholeness

rcministry.org
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What is forgiveness anyway??

The above is very true...but sometimes we can't forgive because we don't understand
what it means.

What does forgiving mean anyway??

Is there a difference between forgiveness and reconciliation??
 
humble soul said:
The problem for Christians is always spiritual pride. Thinking they have progressed further than others. Arrogance. And condescension. Looking down on others.
My conclusion is these people are further from God than some atheists.
Click to expand...
You sound like the Pope.

He said it's better to be an atheist than to go to church and then speak badly of others when
we're not in church. (my wording).

I know what he means...but it was a terrible way to say it.

And the reason I don't agree with your above statement is the same.

An atheist cannot have fellowship with God because he doesn't believe God exists.
He cannot be forgiven.
He is very far from God.

These prideful Christians you speak of are believers in God.
They may sin, but they can be forgiven.

So it's better to be an imperfect Christian that can be forgiven...
than an atheist who is practicing the unpardonable sin.
 
wondering said:
An atheist cannot have fellowship with God because he doesn't believe God exists.
He cannot be forgiven.
He is very far from God.
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They can be forgiven if they humble themselves before the Lord and accept Him as their Lord and Savior. God would that none should perish and gave us all a way to reconcile us back to His grace He extends to all who will accept it.
 
wondering said:
What is forgiveness anyway??

The above is very true...but sometimes we can't forgive because we don't understand
what it means.

What does forgiving mean anyway??

Is there a difference between forgiveness and reconciliation??
Click to expand...
I know you addressed this to stovebolts but I would also like to answer this.

Grace pardons us while mercy love us. Forgiveness is the pardoning of the transgression made against you and even if we can not reconcile our indifferences we are still to walk in love and pray for the one who will not reconcile.

Example: During the Y2K back in 2000 my husband and I did not have much money and pretty much spent all we had stocking up on provisions if this would have gone bad. A friend of ours at that time invited my husband and I and another couple to stay with them until it was all over. We were renting from them at that time. We gathered all we bought and combined it with everyone else food. When nothing happened we went back to the house we were renting. I have not a clue to this day why she turned on us other than what someone told her that lied about us, but when we went back to get all our food she said we could not take it and that we needed to move out of her house.

I was devastated as we were the best of friends. In the process of moving while we were gone she changed the locks on the door and would not allow us to get the rest of our stuff so we called the police to see what we could do. They said legally we still lived there and to try to get into the house if we could so we did by climbing into a window while they were gone and got the rest of our belongings.

Long story short it took me a long time to get over it and I did forgive her and told her so, but there was no reconciliation on her part. From that point on it was never the same between us and we just walked away and left her alone never to speak to her again.

One can forgive (pardon) another's transgression made against them, but it takes both sides to reconcile so IMO there is a difference between forgiving and reconciliation. All things should be reconciled and put to rest, but some people are hardhearted even though they call them self a Christian.
 
daninthelionsden said:
As long as we are not lumping forgiveness in with reconciliation then I'm all for it. If one means a person must continue in an abusive relationship under the umbrella of forgiveness then I disagree. Forgiveness and reconciliation are sometimes not possible. Forgiveness is always possible even if that means moving to the other side of the world.
Click to expand...



Agreed as I believe forgiveness and reconciliation are two entirely separate things as well.

wondering said:
What is forgiveness anyway??

The above is very true...but sometimes we can't forgive because we don't understand
what it means.

What does forgiving mean anyway??

Is there a difference between forgiveness and reconciliation??
Click to expand...

In my book forgiveness is accepting that a person is truly sorry for their mistakes (or maybe even if they aren't sorry we can still forgive them and pray for them) and reconciliation is regaining a relationship with that person. There are people on this website that even though we're on good terms again, I'm not ready to just go ahead and jump in right away and be best friends with them again as that's going to take a bit of time. So, that's how I see the difference. You can be on good terms with people, but not necessarily best friends.


wondering said:
You sound like the Pope.

He said it's better to be an atheist than to go to church and then speak badly of others when
we're not in church. (my wording).

I know what he means...but it was a terrible way to say it.

And the reason I don't agree with your above statement is the same.

An atheist cannot have fellowship with God because he doesn't believe God exists.
He cannot be forgiven.
He is very far from God.

These prideful Christians you speak of are believers in God.
They may sin, but they can be forgiven.

So it's better to be an imperfect Christian that can be forgiven...
than an atheist who is practicing the unpardonable sin.
Click to expand...


Actually, I sort of have to agree with them both. I would rather somebody hate God, (as sad as it is) than to see somebody who loves God and turn their back on Him and betray Him. Unfortunately I have done that before, but I repented afterwards and it's truly sad when somebody doesn't repent.


for_his_glory said:
I know you addressed this to stovebolts but I would also like to answer this.

Grace pardons us while mercy love us. Forgiveness is the pardoning of the transgression made against you and even if we can not reconcile our indifferences we are still to walk in love and pray for the one who will not reconcile.

Example: During the Y2K back in 2000 my husband and I did not have much money and pretty much spent all we had stocking up on provisions if this would have gone bad. A friend of ours at that time invited my husband and I and another couple to stay with them until it was all over. We were renting from them at that time. We gathered all we bought and combined it with everyone else food. When nothing happened we went back to the house we were renting. I have not a clue to this day why she turned on us other than what someone told her that lied about us, but when we went back to get all our food she said we could not take it and that we needed to move out of her house.

I was devastated as we were the best of friends. In the process of moving while we were gone she changed the locks on the door and would not allow us to get the rest of our stuff so we called the police to see what we could do. They said legally we still lived there and to try to get into the house if we could so we did by climbing into a window while they were gone and got the rest of our belongings.

Long story short it took me a long time to get over it and I did forgive her and told her so, but there was no reconciliation on her part. From that point on it was never the same between us and we just walked away and left her alone never to speak to her again.

One can forgive (pardon) another's transgression made against them, but it takes both sides to reconcile so IMO there is a difference between forgiving and reconciliation. All things should be reconciled and put to rest, but some people are hardhearted even though they call them self a Christian.
Click to expand...





That story sounds very similar to an experience I had when I was a child. A simple misunderstanding broke out between the three of us and even though I tried to apologize for it, we never spoke to each other again. :sad
 
HeIsRisen2018 said:
Agreed as I believe forgiveness and reconciliation are two entirely separate things as well.

In my book forgiveness is accepting that a person is truly sorry for their mistakes (or maybe even if they aren't sorry we can still forgive them and pray for them) and reconciliation is regaining a relationship with that person. There are people on this website that even though we're on good terms again, I'm not ready to just go ahead and jump in right away and be best friends with them again as that's going to take a bit of time. So, that's how I see the difference. You can be on good terms with people, but not necessarily best friends.


Actually, I sort of have to agree with them both. I would rather somebody hate God, (as sad as it is) than to see somebody who loves God and turn their back on Him and betray Him. Unfortunately I have done that before, but I repented afterwards and it's truly sad when somebody doesn't repent.
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Hi HiR,
Nice to have you back!

You're understanding of forgiveness and reconciliation are right on.

I just don't agree with the last paragraph...
I'm very sorry when someone can look around and see what God made but believe that all this came
about on its own and they do not believe in God.

As you yourself have experienced....believers can fall, get up, be forgiven and continue on their path
toward God.

I think this is better than being an unbeliever.
 
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