But I don't see the HOW I manage to co-operate. In other words, does knowing the commandments, enable me to obey? Where is my help and how do I receive the help I need?
By caring about people.
The power of the Christian life is to
care enough about people to not sin against them. And trusting God to take care of you where you used to take of yourself by sinning.
I look at my own life and all the things God has subjected me to and how those things have produced in my a spirit of empathy and compassion for everybody else struggling with the body of flesh. I think this is what the prophet meant by God taking the heart of stone out of us and putting a heart of flesh in us in this New Covenant so that we would be careful to follow his commands (Ezekiel 36:26-27 NASB). A tender compassionate heart that cares about our fellow humans, not despises and uses and abuses them.
It's more about education than it is about the supernatural, though I'm not taking the supernatural element of God's work in us out of the equation at all. It's just that the church seems to depend too much on the supernatural and not enough on knowledge of how we're supposed to act.
9 And this I pray, that your love may abound still more and more in real knowledge and all discernment, 10 so that you may approve the things that are excellent, in order to be sincere and blameless until the day of Christ..."
(Philippians 1:9-10 NASB)
"...we have not ceased to pray for you and to ask that you may be filled with the knowledge of His will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding,10 so that you will walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, to please Him in all respects, bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God" (Colossians 1:9-10 NASB)
The journey to holiness is a journey of the discernemnt of knowledge, and where and how to apply that knowledge. That knowledge is the knowledge of God's character, his love. And how our old sinful ways hurt other people.