[__ Prayer __] God is good and..things could be worse

[Christ_empowered]

OK. So, I'm 30, chronically unemployed, living with my (thankfully, upper-middle/upper-class) parents, and receiving disability for the crazy. OK. God is GOOD, because...1) I should be dead. Yes, kid; drugs are bad, mkay? 2) I've not only been forgiven of my sins, I've been forgiven of a lot of what my sins did *to* me. I'm not: stupid, balding, stunted, ugly, sickly. I don't even have tardive dyskinesia anymore! 3) I could/should/would be, at best, in a state mental hospital. Seriously. If you fall off the rails in today's society, it can be rough getting back--assuming you ever get back, which many people don't. I've been blessed!

I'm at Liberty Online and doing well, Praise God! I even do well on the written assignments. I just switched my major back to one of their many psychology cognates. I may well be finished sometime next year!

My parents--especially my dad--are kind towards me, loving towards me, and want the best for me. I don't deserve that. I put them through Hell when I was younger, and I was wretched until I was called to repentance less than 2 years ago. I truly was an embarrassment to my family. I was so brain damaged, self-centered, and generally far gone that I just didn't *see* how terrible I was. It just didn't register, somehow.

I do have a friend. Verna (who still needs prayer, btw), who counsels me daily. I have mental health people who actually care about my well being and aren't just pencil whipping me and drugging me into oblivion. I can come here and talk and talk and write and write and people say insightful things in response to what I've written, lol.

I don't deserve the grace shown me. Not something I like to think on too often, for obvious reasons, but its true. Grace, by its very nature, is unmerited favor. I fried my brain, stunted my growth, ruined my health, and even scarred my follicles (for all you DIY hair dye people: watch out! It can happen!), and now...I'm smart enough for college level work, healthy, average height, and my hair is crazy thick (and a different color. For some reason, I now have Irish looking, reddish hair...when I was younger, I looked like The Little Dutch Boy).

Gratitude, gratitude, gratitude....I have so much to be thankful for. People always say "he's nothing special," and in the eyes of the world, they're not wrong. I'm very much a work-in--progress at just about every level imaginable. I need to lose weight, shave daily, cut the hair more often, finish a degree, work on my discipline and initiative, etc. etc. All in due time.

So...OK...this is definitely a Praise Report. I've decided to stop wallowing and start praising. I *have* to make good use of the raw material Christ has seen fit to bless me with. I'm thinking I'll become a counselor, some kinda hippy+Christian, eclectic counselor...not a counselor like some of the ones I've seen (shudder).

 

[reba]

Verna and I are doing a little praise the Lord dance

 

[Kathi]

OK. So, I'm 30, chronically unemployed, living with my (thankfully, upper-middle/upper-class) parents, and receiving disability for the crazy. OK. God is GOOD, because...1) I should be dead. Yes, kid; drugs are bad, mkay? 2) I've not only been forgiven of my sins, I've been forgiven of a lot of what my sins did *to* me. I'm not: stupid, balding, stunted, ugly, sickly. I don't even have tardive dyskinesia anymore! 3) I could/should/would be, at best, in a state mental hospital. Seriously. If you fall off the rails in today's society, it can be rough getting back--assuming you ever get back, which many people don't. I've been blessed!

I'm at Liberty Online and doing well, Praise God! I even do well on the written assignments. I just switched my major back to one of their many psychology cognates. I may well be finished sometime next year!

My parents--especially my dad--are kind towards me, loving towards me, and want the best for me. I don't deserve that. I put them through Hell when I was younger, and I was wretched until I was called to repentance less than 2 years ago. I truly was an embarrassment to my family. I was so brain damaged, self-centered, and generally far gone that I just didn't *see* how terrible I was. It just didn't register, somehow.

I do have a friend. Verna (who still needs prayer, btw), who counsels me daily. I have mental health people who actually care about my well being and aren't just pencil whipping me and drugging me into oblivion. I can come here and talk and talk and write and write and people say insightful things in response to what I've written, lol.

I don't deserve the grace shown me. Not something I like to think on too often, for obvious reasons, but its true. Grace, by its very nature, is unmerited favor. I fried my brain, stunted my growth, ruined my health, and even scarred my follicles (for all you DIY hair dye people: watch out! It can happen!), and now...I'm smart enough for college level work, healthy, average height, and my hair is crazy thick (and a different color. For some reason, I now have Irish looking, reddish hair...when I was younger, I looked like The Little Dutch Boy).

Gratitude, gratitude, gratitude....I have so much to be thankful for. People always say "he's nothing special," and in the eyes of the world, they're not wrong. I'm very much a work-in--progress at just about every level imaginable. I need to lose weight, shave daily, cut the hair more often, finish a degree, work on my discipline and initiative, etc. etc. All in due time.

So...OK...this is definitely a Praise Report. I've decided to stop wallowing and start praising. I *have* to make good use of the raw material Christ has seen fit to bless me with. I'm thinking I'll become a counselor, some kinda hippy+Christian, eclectic counselor...not a counselor like some of the ones I've seen (shudder).

And God has brought these people into your life and you love them....right?

 

[Christ_empowered]

absolutely. Verna's taught me what it means to be a real friend--someone who listens, understands boundaries, empathizes. People here have helped me, too I'm quite thankful.

 

[Angel]

Awesome! You have an incredible testimony!

 

[Christ_empowered]

A lot of this is just....growing up. And putting the past aside, which is what Christians are called to do. The only reason I'm alive (and able to form this sentence) is because of Christ's grace. When I was in the flesh, doing all that sinful stuff, I got: ECT, brain damage, jail time, premature aging, etc. When I was called to repentance (some people, I'm sure, can *choose* Christ. Some of us need miracles), things changed in a big, big way.

I realize now how cold and cruel the world is. I'm not going to harp on that, just sayin'--people go through things. I'm not the only one who went through a lot while I was deep in my mess. What surprise(d/s) me is how much Christ changes things, and how much people despise Born Again Christians. I guess in my case its not so much that people hate me for being a Born Again Christian as they do for having been the recipient of so much God-given grace and mercy. Why did my hair grow back? Why am I healthy? Why am I smart enough for college level work? Why aren't I homeless or dead? God's work in my life infuriates a lot of people around here. I think the men around here may just be more vocal about it.

Blah blah blah....I still have some growing up to do. I think God has chosen to be extra kind to me, and lenient, because I never really got to grow up before. Even in HS, I basically had the mind of a 10 year old, lol. Lots of stress, social isolation, etc...makes it hard to *do* anything, you know?

Anyway....like I posted above, things could be far, far worse for me. In a lot of places, I'd be in a state mental hospital for the rest of my life. Or at least on a "court order" (legally mandated, involuntary treatment, usually with long acting injections of antipsychotics). The way my ex-shrinks feel about me, if I were on a court order, I'd be in a corner, drugged to the point of drooling on myself. No lie--my ex-shrinks *despise* me. My people moved up in the world, and they're behind me. I actually love my people, particularly my father. I'm making progress at Liberty. I have a vague notion in my mind of what I want to do with my life, now that the mess in my head is unraveling, thanks to Christ's grace. I get SSI and financial aid from Liberty, which is huge.

 

[AirDancer]

Not a single one of us 'deserves' the grace which has been bestowed on us, so you're in great company, Christ_empowered. Our Lord loves each and every one of us; that's why He has freely given His grace, His mercy, and His blessings to us! It's very humbling to know that, as sinners, our Lord's love is so deep and abiding that He carries us when the going gets rough, and He guides us so we can each be such better children of His!

When we reflect on where we've each been in our lives, it's amazing the progress we've made, all thanks to our Lord. Truly awe-inspiring! And just imagine what our futures hold!

Our Lord is marvelous!

 

[Edward]

Boy our Lord sure is marvelous!

And you're right CE, things could be worse. That's what I think when I am down in the dumps. I was bummed out because I couldn't afford some new shoes, my old ones are getting pretty ratty. Then I seen a bloke in a wheelchair that didn't have any feet. Suddenly I felt blessed. I'm rich. I'm behind in my rent, always pay my utilities on the shut off notice, I drive an old 92 Dodge truck which drives on faith, I'm under weight. And walk around in pain most of the time. But I have a roof over my head, the lights are still on, I sleep in a newish king size bed and eat every day. I'm blessed enough to be self employed, which means that I'm flexible in my time, and when work is slow, I have time to pray and read His Word. I'm rich I tell you! Praise the Lord!