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Most people here won't snoop but if you need prayer, advice, or just to get things off your chest there are some here who are wonderful listeners and prayer people.
Thanks, Deborah13, Im at a stand still and can not get passed it. and I beat myself up a lot cause i see it as my fault.
 
Thanks, Deborah13, Im at a stand still and can not get passed it. and I beat myself up a lot cause i see it as my fault.
Many times the greatest wall we face is admitting guilt, and it is only God that has given you the recognition of that, the manner of deliverance, and peace you seek, and it is all in Christ regardless of the perceived quality of the outcome. When we take our burdens to the Lord, He is faithful to work all things for our good. I don't know about you, or anyone else but the most critical times of distress in my life produced the greatest spiritual growth. Blessings to you brother in Jesus' name.
 
Thanks, Deborah13, Im at a stand still and can not get passed it. and I beat myself up a lot cause i see it as my fault.

Sometimes it's as though we are in the wilderness just going around and around that same mountain and we have no idea as to why. But we have one that sits at the right hand of the Father and He is the faithful mediator. If we speak openly and honestly to Him He will do what He has promised. It doesn't matter how we pray, the words we use as long as they come from our heart. He receives those prayers first and by the time they get to the Father they are the perfect prayer because He is the perfect mediator.
If you have ever stared at one of those 3D hidden art pictures you will understand this analogy. For me that is what it is like when I hit a wall. Sometimes when I pray the picture pops out just as clear as day. Other times, not so much, sometimes not at all, it's like one of those pictures. I just have to leave it alone for awhile, give it to God and keep moving towards Him even if it's just shuffling steps. Eventually that same picture is there again but this time the picture pops right out and whatever it is, deal with it.
Rest in Him knowing that He loves you and He is faithful so will not abandon you.
 
Sometimes it's as though we are in the wilderness just going around and around that same mountain and we have no idea as to why. But we have one that sits at the right hand of the Father and He is the faithful mediator. If we speak openly and honestly to Him He will do what He has promised. It doesn't matter how we pray, the words we use as long as they come from our heart. He receives those prayers first and by the time they get to the Father they are the perfect prayer because He is the perfect mediator.
If you have ever stared at one of those 3D hidden art pictures you will understand this analogy. For me that is what it is like when I hit a wall. Sometimes when I pray the picture pops out just as clear as day. Other times, not so much, sometimes not at all, it's like one of those pictures. I just have to leave it alone for awhile, give it to God and keep moving towards Him even if it's just shuffling steps. Eventually that same picture is there again but this time the picture pops right out and whatever it is, deal with it.
Rest in Him knowing that He loves you and He is faithful so will not abandon you.
I think I am honest with God but it does not appear he believes I am being honest. Ive been asking for a while. Dumb as I am I know to not give up and keep trying.
 
I think I am honest with God but it does not appear he believes I am being honest. Ive been asking for a while. Dumb as I am I know to not give up and keep trying.

1 Samuel 16:7
7 But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.”
 
thanks Mertoa, very much.
You're welcome
Dear brother, the advice given by your family in Christ so far are very true, and you should take it.
Most of us have been there, and we're still here to testify. Everything God does is for our good. When you feel there are walls you cannot pass through, trust in God with all your heart. When you say you "think" you are being honest with God, that may be the problem. You must "Be" totally honest with Him, repent, forgive those who have trespassed against you. Question yourself with what is right with God: are you following false prophets etc. The answer to our troubles begin with ourselves, we do not have to be there and there's always a way out. It may be that you are holding on to something keeping you there, whatever it is, it must be dealt with quickly.
I apologize if I am too hard but I do sympathise with your situation and we know it is hard and depressing.
Do not give up
 
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