Help! My son has became an Atheist!

[Josh 21]

My son is 13 years old. In school, he is doing really well and he enjoys a bit of video games, however, today he made it quiet clearly that he is an Atheist and believes in evolution and big bang. There were hints of it, but I thought it was just usual doubt that I also experienced in childhood. He also didn't go to church last Sunday with me and said he is not going tomorrow either. This was a big shock on our dinner and then he just went to his room. My wife is agnostic so she says she won't pressure him and won't allow me either, and I don't want to use any harsh methods myself, but how can I help him get back on track? I really don't know what to do next as this was unexpected. Please, :help .

 

[Twisted Hawk]

Don't be harsh on him. Remember, Galatians Chapter 5 prohibits any kind of harsh methods. Also, think about it. Are you really gonna force it upon someone to be a christian? God doesn't force anyone to follow christ, and it doesn't work in the middle east with the Muslim religion.

Sorry if I sounded kinda harsh myself in my opening statement. Just wanted to make sure your not forceful. Now that I've said that, do your best to tell them about the miracles of Jesus. Show him testimonies of people such as Brian Welch, former drug addicts that came to Christ to fix their broken lives. Find amazing stories from the bible to tell your child. Also, do you have any Christian music you can play around the house? Anytime your home, I would recommend playing it. Basically, do anything that can get him interested in the idea of god. From what I've seen, children connect to the words they hear in songs, so if played enough, it can help to build and interest.

I know it will be frustrating, but you can't be pushy. Treat them with lovingness and kindness, and when you get the turn to speak, do so. Patience is another fruit of the holy spirit. You and your son will be in my thoughts. Sorry to hear about this.

 

[heather]

The best thing you can do for your son is pray. The next best thing is to be the picture of Christ. Your actions will speak much more loudly than any words you can say. Be gracious and approach it with the love in your heart that God has for all of His children. Let him know that you will answer any questions he may have and make sure you tell him that if you don't know the answer, you'll find out from someone who does. Encourage him to take an active role in youth group, and lastly, always correct him using the Bible as your standards.

 

[Josh 21]

Don't be harsh on him. Remember, Galatians Chapter 5 prohibits any kind of harsh methods. Also, think about it. Are you really gonna force it upon someone to be a christian? God doesn't force anyone to follow christ, and it doesn't work in the middle east with the Muslim religion.

Sorry if I sounded kinda harsh myself in my opening statement. Just wanted to make sure your not forceful. Now that I've said that, do your best to tell them about the miracles of Jesus. Show him testimonies of people such as Brian Welch, former drug addicts that came to Christ to fix their broken lives. Find amazing stories from the bible to tell your child. Also, do you have any Christian music you can play around the house? Anytime your home, I would recommend playing it. Basically, do anything that can get him interested in the idea of god. From what I've seen, children connect to the words they hear in songs, so if played enough, it can help to build and interest.

I know it will be frustrating, but you can't be pushy. Treat them with lovingness and kindness, and when you get the turn to speak, do so. Patience is another fruit of the holy spirit. You and your son will be in my thoughts. Sorry to hear about this.

I can't be harsh on him anyway, he never really upset me before and he has excellent school results. I pray for him whenever I can and I hope God will answer to my prayers. We actually had a really long chat with him and he dismissed the miracles as hoax. I can't understand why he stopped feeling God because he always felt it before.
Any testimonies I show him, I get told how a Christian became an Atheist and quotes of that wretch Dawkins. :mad. My wife says that if someone wants to listen to any religious music, there are headphones and my son doesn't want to listen to it.

The best thing you can do for your son is pray. The next best thing is to be the picture of Christ. Your actions will speak much more loudly than any words you can say. Be gracious and approach it with the love in your heart that God has for all of His children. Let him know that you will answer any questions he may have and make sure you tell him that if you don't know the answer, you'll find out from someone who does. Encourage him to take an active role in youth group, and lastly, always correct him using the Bible as your standards.

The best thing you can do for your son is pray. The next best thing is to be the picture of Christ. Your actions will speak much more loudly than any words you can say. Be gracious and approach it with the love in your heart that God has for all of His children. Let him know that you will answer any questions he may have and make sure you tell him that if you don't know the answer, you'll find out from someone who does. Encourage him to take an active role in youth group, and lastly, always correct him using the Bible as your standards.

The problem is, I can't answer some of the questions he asks. I think someone is actually teaching him about Atheistic thought. He says he won't go to Christian Youth Group, but wants to join a Science Club not far away from us where his friend goes, but science club may make it even worse. Correcting him with Bible is very hard because he knows it really well and can well poke me back with some Old Testament quote. I tried to explain the fact that Old Testament was wrote in different time and the world was harsher then, but he doesn't listen.

After a long talk, I don't think it's a rebel outburst and not just a small period of doubting God. He backs up every belief he has and he doesn't want to understand that faith in Lord is really important.

 

[lovely]

Josh,

I would pray for God to open your wife's and son's eyes, and just trust God to do His will in their lives. Learn more so that you can give an answer for the hope that is in you. Be the best husband and father you can be, according to God's word, and be a loving light in your home. It is best that he is revealing his heart now, it's a great blessing really, because you don't want him to 'act' saved if it is not the truth of what is in him. Lukewarm is worse than anything.

As for you, remember to rejoice in your trials. God is conforming you to Christ, and he will use this season for your good. I will pray tonight.

The Lord bless you.

 

[heather]

The thing is, you don't always have to have all the answers. You can tell your son what is fact. The fact is that God did something to your heart. It's the truth and you know it! You may not know all the biblical answers (but you should have someone you can ask so that you can find answers out for him), but you know what God did for you. Let that be your testimony. We are witnesses, whether we like it or not.

But keep praying for him always.

 

[julie89]

i've declared atheism once or twice to christian people I know and it was something that lasted but a few days. Although, being twenty, I've somewhat forgotten how difficult it is to be thirteen (although there are still vestiges of those very tough days, probably a lot fresher now than they will be in coming years--I'm not that old yet. Actually I still watch Rugrats )

To stay on the topic of your post: I wouldn't panic. He is a thirteen-year-old asserting his independence and school and friends at school are a big influence in his life right now. Try to be inquisitive about things he is doing in school, and put in a good word or two about his teachers and friends (where appropriate--avoid encouraging emulation of people who aren't models of good behavior.) In short, show him that you take seriously the things that he takes seriously, and it will be a lot easier for you both to see eye-to-eye on this matter.

I do have to comment on a prior post, not to be rude, but to give my honest opinion. Someone suggested:

Also, do you have any Christian music you can play around the house? Anytime your home, I would recommend playing it.

I can only speak for myself, but this would probably drive me crazy, and might drive him further away if he realizes you're dropping subtle hints to try to draw him back to Christianity in any way.

 

[JoJo]

Josh, take heart. Proverbs 22:6 comes to mind: "Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it." I've experienced this truth in a very real way. Mind if I share?

I have raised all four of my children in a Christian household with Christian principles, Christian beliefs, Christian music, all of it. So when my oldest son (now 19) went on a missions trip last year, I thought it could only help nurture his faith. But what I didn't know is that his faith was almost gone.

After the missions trip, my son came home and spilled his heart about how he had questioned Christianity and questioned God's existence to the point that he had become more interested in the dark world than in God. He admitted to delving into satanism and gave me a few scary descriptions of some of the things he and his online friends had been discussing. His "real life" friends were church-going types, so I pretty much assumed that his online friends were also good kids. Boy, was I wrong. But that's a whole other subject.

The fact is, Satan wants your child. If he doesn't have Christ in his heart, he is ripe for the taking. As Christian parents, we are obligated to teach our children about God and His truths. We can only do so much, but as was pointed out, we can pray, pray, pray and trust God to protect our children from the Enemy's grasp.

May God bless you as you parent your son and may God wrap His loving arms around your son's heart and bless him with His eternal truth. In Jesus name, Amen.

 

[justvisiting]

I don't think it would hurt to have a few answers for your son. He needs some replies himself if he is to disbelieve what they teach him.
Here is Josh McDowell:
http://joshmcdowell.blogspot.com/search?q=evolution
You might want to check out other sites that give good rebuttals to evolutionary theory. I would mention Piltdown man and Nebraska man. Ask his teacher what those were. All scientists that want their studies to continue, have to come up with new evidence for continuing grants, and support. I am sure there is a lot of hoodwinking going on.

 

[stovebolts]

How about instead of trying to make him believe in miracles and getting into an apologetic debate with him, show him simple truths in the bible, such as lying and stealing, or how we are to treat one another. You see, much of being a Christian is how we view and act in the world around us. Do you want to convince him that God exists? Then the next time he does, or says something that is good (even if it came from Dawkins) or right, let him know that it comes from God, even if he doesn't acknowledge it.

Philippians 4:8 Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.

In other words, take advantage of what he already knows, acknowledge it, and give the glory to God. I know I know, we're always trying to convince people to believe this, or believe that and to be honest, it's not us that's able. It's the Holy Spirit working in them, sometimes through us that brings them to Christ. Put it this way, and I really like how Paul did this in Athens at Mars Hill.

Acts 17:28 (ASV) for in him we live, and move, and have our being; as certain even of your own poets have said, For we are also his offspring.

Who was Paul talking to? The Epicurean and Stoic philosophers according to verse 18.

But lets take a look at what Paul quotes. Paul says that one of their own poets said, For we are also his offspring

Who's offspring? Did you know that the poem was to Zeus? Well, I found the poem for your reading pleasure.
Let us begin with Zeus, whom we mortals never leave unspoken.
For every street, every market-place is full of Zeus.
Even the sea and the harbour are full of this deity.
Everywhere everyone is indebted to Zeus.
For we are indeed his offspring...

You see, the Epicurean and Stoic philosophers had the idea right and Paul did not say anything bad about Zeus and he certainly did not defend Christ to which it became a battle of I'm right and your wrong. No, what Paul did was to reclaim the truth which the greeks already had and he attributed it to God. Acts 17, verse 29 So since we are God’s offspring,... Paul takes a truth that they already knew, and reclaims that truth for God. If it worked for Paul, it should work for your son.

Grace and Peace,
Jeff

 

[stovebolts]

Correcting him with Bible is very hard because he knows it really well and can well poke me back with some Old Testament quote. I tried to explain the fact that Old Testament was wrote in different time and the world was harsher then, but he doesn't listen.

I see he's probably been on some athiest sites. Let me know what he's saying and maybe together (next week sometime) we can work on some better responses for him.

Here are a couple of threads that might interest you in the meantime.
viewtopic.php?f=54&t=32516

search.php?st=0&sk=t&sd=d&author_id=645

 

[kismetshaloam]

I think if he's been going to church all his life he does have an idea of those beliefs though not a complete one, as no one does until they've lived completely. If you really love him, you should give him space and just let him believe what he wants. He should be allowed to develop his own views, and if you don't push him at all than he will feel less rebellious. If he were to decide he believes in god again, than if you push him to hard he may not tell you. Maybe also expose him to other belief systems, because he might be calling aethesist him just wanting another way to express his spirituality.

 

[Mike]

Maybe also expose him to other belief systems, because he might be calling aethesist him just wanting another way to express his spirituality.

I completely disagree. Sounds like supporting the "all roads lead to God" routine. As a Christian, we can't be happy if our child chooses another path.

To the OP, please don't take this the wrong way, because you are already married. In a different thread, someone asked if she should continue to date an atheist. I said "no" because dating can lead to marriage and suggested if they have kids, two parents with opposing POV's on faith with different feelings on impressing faith will create strife.

A lot of good advice has been offered with regard to your son, but not with regard to your wife. Since she's not an atheist but an agnostic, I would be trying to get the two of you on the same page in dealing with your son. It makes it more difficult when you two are not sending the same message. I'm guessing you've tried this, but I would spend more time there to at least impress on her how important it is to you as a Christian that he doesn't continue down this road. She may feel it doesn't really matter if he chooses his own belief, but you do.

It has eternal consequences from your perspective, not hers. I pray that she comes to understand this and also finds truth in our faith. Pray for both of them, but work to find an understanding with your wife. I'll pray for you all.

 

[ChattyMute]

A lot of good advice has been offered with regard to your son, but not with regard to your wife. Since she's not an atheist but an agnostic, I would be trying to get the two of you on the same page in dealing with your son. It makes it more difficult when you two are not sending the same message.

I know a lot of (weak) atheists and a lot of agnostics, and besides what they call themselves, there really isn't much of a difference between many of them. Of course, everyone will have different beliefs and views on a few things, but for the most part, almost all the agnostics and (weak) atheists I know have the same sentiments towards religion and forcing religion on someone, subtly or directly. So her becing and agnostic and not an atheist really doesn't mean much.

I agree with the last part though. You two should be on the same page. Find a compromise or something.

 

[Mike]

A lot of good advice has been offered with regard to your son, but not with regard to your wife. Since she's not an atheist but an agnostic, I would be trying to get the two of you on the same page in dealing with your son. It makes it more difficult when you two are not sending the same message.

I know a lot of (weak) atheists and a lot of agnostics, and besides what they call themselves, there really isn't much of a difference between many of them. Of course, everyone will have different beliefs and views on a few things, but for the most part, almost all the agnostics and (weak) atheists I know have the same sentiments towards religion and forcing religion on someone, subtly or directly. So her becing and agnostic and not an atheist really doesn't mean much.

I agree with the last part though. You two should be on the same page. Find a compromise or something.

Considering that an agnostic admits they don't know if God exists and an atheist makes a statement that He doesn't, it seems that an agnostic would be more flexible. I'd be interested in know how an agnostic has presented their case strongly when they admittedly don't have an opinion. This would be good to discuss in a different thread.

Back to Josh's problem, it sounds like your wife is set against you forcing the issue. You've had advice on what to do and not do. We are advised specifically to teach our children about the Lord, but we should dishearten them. I believe you need to carefully work with him and be in prayer about it. And there needs to be one message coming from both parents. That's why I focused on her.

I only found scripture addressing the teaching of children who don't know, not children who have heard but don't believe. But anyway...

Psalm 78
1 O my people, hear my teaching;
listen to the words of my mouth.

2 I will open my mouth in parables,
I will utter hidden things, things from of old-

3 what we have heard and known,
what our fathers have told us.

4 We will not hide them from their children;
we will tell the next generation
the praiseworthy deeds of the LORD,
his power, and the wonders he has done.

5 He decreed statutes for Jacob
and established the law in Israel,
which he commanded our forefathers
to teach their children,

6 so the next generation would know them,
even the children yet to be born,
and they in turn would tell their children.

7 Then they would put their trust in God
and would not forget his deeds
but would keep his commands.

 

[ChattyMute]

I know a lot of (weak) atheists and a lot of agnostics, and besides what they call themselves, there really isn't much of a difference between many of them. Of course, everyone will have different beliefs and views on a few things, but for the most part, almost all the agnostics and (weak) atheists I know have the same sentiments towards religion and forcing religion on someone, subtly or directly. So her becing and agnostic and not an atheist really doesn't mean much.

I agree with the last part though. You two should be on the same page. Find a compromise or something.

Considering that an agnostic admits they don't know if God exists and an atheist makes a statement that He doesn't, it seems that an agnostic would be more flexible. I'd be interested in know how an agnostic has presented their case strongly when they admittedly don't have an opinion. This would be good to discuss in a different thread.

You can not believe in a God while also not claiming any knowledge on whether or not they exist. The two aren't contradictory. In fact, most agnostics I know do exactly that, but they won't admit it. And an atheist doesn't claim there is no God. Some do, but all that is required to be an atheist is that one doesn't believe in a god. Which is completely different from saying there absolutely isn't a god. Anyways, I'm getting off topic.

OP, forcing you child to go to church or listen to Christian music, etc is only going to make matters worse and make him disdainful towards you and Christianity. It seems pretty obvious to me that he is thought about and looked into this quite a bit. I don't think you're going to be able to change his mind.

 

[frying-pan-addict]

Genesis 35 reveals the story of Jacob returning to Bethel (Bethel means the house of God). Jacob essentially tells his household to put away their foreign gods and purify themselves. His household is going to serve God. This chapter reveals a man who's family is unraveling.

I guess my advice dramatically differs from others. Here it is: 'Slam your son against the proverbial wall and ask him, "Son, are you living for God?" The obvious answer is no. And the Biblical truth is that sin and rebellion will grow in his heart and he will be brought down. Be stern with him. You will be brought down young man.

Ultimately you cannot control the actions of your wife or son. But you can decide to "Go back to bethel" yourself. You can decide that you are going to serve God and those who do not follow your example, your leadership as priest of the home will be left behind. They will have rebellion and sin grow in their hearts. And they will be brought down.

 

[Guest]

Pray...

 

[Joshua King]

A great ministry that has free dvd seminars about the creation and science is creation science evangelism.Creation Science Evangelism see also FreeHovind - Kent Hovind's Creation Seminars

 

[eliorah]

Aw man... I remember going through this myself as a teen. My mother and father forced me to go to church regularly, and it made me even more resentful. I had always been spiritual and knew something was there, but I doubted God. Had my parents let me do my own thing, I probably would have returned to God so much sooner than I did. To this day, they still badger me about returning to Catholic church and it hurts more than it helps.

Your son seems into science. Be inquisitive about things, such as the incredible human design. SOMEONE designed it, it wasn't spontaneous. Pregnancy is incredible in it'self. How can one look at the beauty of the world and deny a creator? You know, things like that.

I will pray for your son. I pray that he finds our wonderful Jesus and truly gets to know him. Even if he doesn't, I hope he finds something to believe in that makes him happy. To believe in nothing is a very, very sad thing