ShadesOfApril
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- Thread starter ShadesOfApril
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You are 100% right. I have prayed about this very thing. I can't get into every detail, but you're right. You know, it's really strange living in this world... the world tells me to hate him, play mind games, find other men and that he is a "player" but then my spirit wants to be kind, protective, a faithful friend, reaching out in kindness to him even though he's ignoring me and said basically that he can't be with me because he can't handle ever seeing me hurt.. and when I tell a non- believer that I want to be nice they say that I'll be showing weakness... even women who are Believers say those things about not looking weak... but I'll tell you...I don't find it weak at all. I find it very natural to do as a woman. But then these others make me second guess and think there's something wrong with ME for being soft and gentle and then I get angry and confused and all twisted up in knots!
Like right now thinking about this. I think your post hit home just now.
It's the difference between approaching it from God's perspective and approaching it from the enemy's. The enemy wants you to stay angry, wants you to take revenge, wants you to resent him and then make yet another mistake by jumping into relationship with someone else just to show him (and maybe yourself) that you are worth more than the way he's treating you. But the Lord will immediately tell you that you are, and you don't need to do any of that to prove it, and that the way to peace and happiness again is by getting it out of your spirit, refusing to let the enemy keep you in bondage to pain, but finding peace.
Who knows. By getting delivered of the fears yourself you may open up the door for him to some day, but it won't happen if you stay in a TRUE spirit of weakness, which is to stay angry and hurt, instead of overcoming the evil you went through with love.
Best wishes, and you did the smart thing to start with by asking real Christians how to deal with it. It's not easy, like I said, but once you start overcoming in matters like this it makes you that much stronger the next time the enemy tries running something by you again that will steal your peace.
God bless,
- H
ShadesOfApril
Member
Thank you so much
Shades of April
That is sort of my area, especially if I changed the name a little to Shadows of April.
The Bible says we see through a glass darkly. We do not have exactly a clear view of everything. Kind of like being in an almost dark room. We want to avoid the solid objects we could trip over. Fear of shadows can confuse us but the idea is to avoid permanent damage.
Letting enough light into the room helps a whole lot. Hopefully if you get good advice the shadows get less important and you improve.
Now I will move to body healing. Not really the subject, but related to healing of our mind.
About 5 years ago I was working outside and got a small scratch / cut on my hand. Macho man ‘me’ just ignored the cut. Well it tried to heal over but would not. Weeks went by and I thought I saw a something under the tender skin. Needle out and I got a sliver of dark material out. Much better but still did not heal completely. Weeks later a second needle treatment got another fragment out. This time things looked much better. Our body will sometimes surround a fragment with scar (?) tissue and isolate the fragment from the rest of the body. I have several inclusions from metal fragments from work. Ugly little knots that might be surgically removed, but generally are just reminders of past wounds.
Your wounds can be treated or perhaps be encapsulated where the problems are not daily open sores
( or just partially healed). We tend to want complete healing. Sometimes we have a reminder left so we are more careful.
Some advice may already be removing some of the hurt. I hope more and more healing comes. I am not against a sudden restoration of glorious recovery.
And I see through a glass darkly myself.
eddif
That is sort of my area, especially if I changed the name a little to Shadows of April.
The Bible says we see through a glass darkly. We do not have exactly a clear view of everything. Kind of like being in an almost dark room. We want to avoid the solid objects we could trip over. Fear of shadows can confuse us but the idea is to avoid permanent damage.
Letting enough light into the room helps a whole lot. Hopefully if you get good advice the shadows get less important and you improve.
Now I will move to body healing. Not really the subject, but related to healing of our mind.
About 5 years ago I was working outside and got a small scratch / cut on my hand. Macho man ‘me’ just ignored the cut. Well it tried to heal over but would not. Weeks went by and I thought I saw a something under the tender skin. Needle out and I got a sliver of dark material out. Much better but still did not heal completely. Weeks later a second needle treatment got another fragment out. This time things looked much better. Our body will sometimes surround a fragment with scar (?) tissue and isolate the fragment from the rest of the body. I have several inclusions from metal fragments from work. Ugly little knots that might be surgically removed, but generally are just reminders of past wounds.
Your wounds can be treated or perhaps be encapsulated where the problems are not daily open sores
( or just partially healed). We tend to want complete healing. Sometimes we have a reminder left so we are more careful.
Some advice may already be removing some of the hurt. I hope more and more healing comes. I am not against a sudden restoration of glorious recovery.
And I see through a glass darkly myself.
eddif
stovebolts
Member
I’m so sorry I misunderstood you and I’m even more sorry your going through this. I can’t imagine the hurt and disappointment your experiencing.Thank you for taking the time to reply, but I think you misunderstood somewhere in what I said. He lost her a year and a half ago and I was with him and he appreciated it and told me that I got him through the darkest time in his life. I have been doing everything that you said that I "should". Maybe you misread my post and that's ok... but yes, I did and continued to do everything you said and then after almost our 3rd year he one night kind of lost it. He didn't explain very well and then he sent me an email saying things that were not logical and he "ghosted" me. The nicest guy in the world I thought. Believe me when I say that I didn't ask him to do anything for me. I am a nurturer... that's what Ive been for him. Him leaving in a flash all of this time later and at a very sad time in my life was really strange and cruel. And you suggest I put my heartbreak aside
Hang in there and stay in fervent prayer. Gods never left you and there will be better days coming. You will make it through this painful time in your life.
ShadesOfApril
Member
Thank you for this.
I chose shades of April because I feel like there's so many hurts within me some healed, some painful reminders and some not healed at all... then there's the ones that on the surface seem over and done and when I face something else it resurfaces from wherever Ive hidden it and says "surprise! I never left!"
My name is April
ShadesOfApril
Member
You all in this thread have been so welcoming and generous with your words of help.. may I ask one more thing? Would you pray for me.. I go through these many days sometimes ok, as ok as I can, but then I'll hear something or see something, or a memory and I get anxiety and the tears start. I have been giving every bit of advice and words of encouragement lots of thought, but the hurt is still with me. It's so heartbreaking also for reasons I haven't mentioned.. but if you think of it- could you pray and ask that I strongly feel the peace of the Holy Spirit?
I am feeling very hurt right now..
Thank you all
I am feeling very hurt right now..
Thank you all
Hi, April. I used to lead worship. Melissa was my bass player. About 2 months after I left the Vineyard, she recorded this song. That was back in '98. I've been listening to it lately and it seems to me that the Lord had her record it just for me.
I used to cry out to the Lord to take me out of the storm. Instead, I've learned that He gets me through it, and that is enough. I've learned to praise the Lord, even when the tears are streaming down my face, like they are right now.
Cling to the Lord...He will get you through this.
I used to cry out to the Lord to take me out of the storm. Instead, I've learned that He gets me through it, and that is enough. I've learned to praise the Lord, even when the tears are streaming down my face, like they are right now.
Cling to the Lord...He will get you through this.
ShadesOfApril
Member
Thanks Norman. I will listen to it. Also, the Vineyard? As in Martha's?!
The Vineyard church.
ShadesOfApril
Member
Oh ok. I don't know of that. I was thinking Massachusetts lol
.
ShadesOfApril
Member
Thank you Hawkman 
and speaking of Hawks, the other day a Hawk was trying to grab my friend's dog that was playing on the beach 
it was crazy. I never knew a Hawk would attempt to capture a little dog 
they are cool creatures for sure. I love all animals. He was up there in the high dunes and there is her dog. He looks bigger in that pic, but he's quite small.
Thought I'd share that story after seeing your name.
and speaking of Hawks, the other day a Hawk was trying to grab my friend's dog that was playing on the beach it was crazy. I never knew a Hawk would attempt to capture a little dog they are cool creatures for sure. I love all animals. He was up there in the high dunes and there is her dog. He looks bigger in that pic, but he's quite small.Thought I'd share that story after seeing your name.
Attachments
My Uncle Truman was born in Massachusetts. Lowell, actually! I'm a Canadian.
ShadesOfApril
Member
I lived in Massachusetts all of my life
do you have snow up there today?
Yeah, we do...a few inches! How about you?I lived in Massachusetts all of my life
Hey hope you have a great time on here. As trying to get myself situated as well. God bless! Welcome!
ShadesOfApril
Member
Hey, thank you for the welcome. I am sorry that you are having troubles too. It's been a crazy couple of years for everyone. 
My steel trap mind or change in definitions has lost a body process name.
In the 1980s I seem to remember seeing a photo of a cancer patient in bed with a huge cancer on her right side. Two weeks later the cancer was gone. No surgery. Called (at that time?) exogenous / exigencies / exogenic ? tissue rejection. The internet seems to have ignored the natural rejection of cancer by the body. The body walls off a cancer from the rest of the body.
If God can wall off a cancer from invading the whole body, I think he is well able to wall off a thought from consuming our whole thought process,
Philippians 3:13 kjv
13. Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before,
14. I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.
I like his honesty:
Not that I have achieved it
I press forward toward
None of this is easy. None of this is really achieved by our human power.
eddif
In the 1980s I seem to remember seeing a photo of a cancer patient in bed with a huge cancer on her right side. Two weeks later the cancer was gone. No surgery. Called (at that time?) exogenous / exigencies / exogenic ? tissue rejection. The internet seems to have ignored the natural rejection of cancer by the body. The body walls off a cancer from the rest of the body.
If God can wall off a cancer from invading the whole body, I think he is well able to wall off a thought from consuming our whole thought process,
Philippians 3:13 kjv
13. Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before,
14. I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.
I like his honesty:
Not that I have achieved it
I press forward toward
None of this is easy. None of this is really achieved by our human power.
eddif