How do you know?

[IchooseHope]

Hi,

i just wondering, How do you know if she/he is the "right" person that God sent to you? i mean is everything workout perfectly if she/he is the right person? i mean how can a person deeply care about the other person only to know that it might not mean anything.

please share your thought or experience about this :help

 

[jasoncran]

lovely that is the risk one takes. well first off I have learned that if one is to have successful marriage God must be first in both people.

 

[Blazin Bones]

The idea that someone will just "know" has been over emphasized, but it is nonetheless still true. One great way to know is to consider everything the relationship brings to your life, and then honestly ask if God would approve of that detail or feeling. If you always find yourself saying yes, and you know the truths of scripture confirm you thoughts, God probably is in that relationship. While this may be an easily explained effort, complete honesty with ourselves can be very difficult. Prayer is really useful in situations like this.

 

[phi]

There isn't a right person, there is a righ pattern that God give us. If you like her and she likes you and you both are christians, followers of our Lord Jesus Christ... Well, you're allowed to marry her, she'll be a right person.

The right choices will bring forth the right feelings, that will get better and better...

 

[Blazin Bones]

I still think there is a person set aside for us. If God determines who will marry and who will not based on the gift of celibacy, I would imagine He would also prepare two lives to fit best with each other and their callings.This is still just my opinion.

 

[farouk]

I still think there is a person set aside for us. If God determines who will marry and who will not based on the gift of celibacy, I would imagine He would also prepare two lives to fit best with each other and their callings.This is still just my opinion.

Blazin: Hi there. I don't see compulsory celibacy in the Bible; just those who are single by choice. For the rest, patience!

 

[Blazin Bones]

I don't see it as forced on anyone, but rather a life given to them to enable such a choice. I know I am walking a VERY tricky line anytime we try to figured out how much control we have in our lives vs how much God's will lays out the path our life takes. In my eyes, though, especially in a culture which tells everyone they have a "true love" waiting for them, it takes a great blessing from the lord to remain completely celibate. I still think my PoV falls in line with Paul's teaching in 1 Corinthians 7:7. If God gifts us with a marriage, I believe that He would select a person for us that gives us the ability to keep the marriage vows faithfully and allows us to fulfill our callings as well. To me, they go hand in hand.

 

[yudeniaregenboog]

Just ask god if he/she is the right person for you (: He will tell and you will feel.

 

[DeaneRenata]

o.o

 

[Danus]

How do you know if she/he is the "right" person that God sent to you?

Good question.

I think the answer might be found in the question. When we say "right person for us" what do we mean? Some people might think that to mean the person who will make us happy, fulfill, or complete us in some way, but I think that's the wrong way to look at marriage.

When I was a kid (15-16) my dad got me a car. I was looking for a car. I wanted a car and I got one! My dad got me a car. It was old, ugly, and didn't run very well. It cost me money. It left me stranded sometimes, but it was my car and I loved it.

No car is perfect. They all break down from time to time. They all cost money. I could have complained. I could have said; "dad, this car is not for me. It's not very cool. It breaks down and causes me time and money". But, I never did. I was happy to just have a car.

I realize we aren't talking about a car here, but I can't help thinking the sentiment is the same. Fact is, people (spouses) will let us down. No one is perfect, and if we are looking for that perfect car then we are in for a great disappointment. all cars require time and effort.

All relationships are very much like owning a car. We must be willing to put in the time and effort. So, I am going to turn your whole question around. You asked,

How do you know if she/he is the "right" person that God sent to you?

When you should be asking; "How do you know if you are "right" for she/he that God has sent to you?"

Can you put in the time and effort? Do you know how to do all the maintenance this car will require? Are you willing to learn and do what is necessary? You might find yourself stranded a time or two.

For cars I'd advise membership in "Triple A" which stands for American Automobile Association, but for people the only association you need is God.

Are you right for someone? Yes, and that someone is right for you. You will know them best when you know yourself best.

 

[Claudya]

I don't think there is a "right person that God sent us". Because there's not much biblical evidence that God chooses our spouses.

So if you fall in love with someone and they fall in love with you (and you will definitely know whether you have fallen in love with someone!) and the two of you have the same ideas and values and plans for their lives then you may have lucked out. The rest is a lifetime of hard work.

There is no way how to know if the one you're with is the heaven sent "right one". But if you found someone you can imagine growing old with then God will give His blessings and with Him and the work and love you invest into your relationship you can make it awesome and godly.

 

[ardchoille]

The idea that someone will just "know" has been over emphasized, but it is nonetheless still true. One great way to know is to consider everything the relationship brings to your life, and then honestly ask if God would approve of that detail or feeling. If you always find yourself saying yes, and you know the truths of scripture confirm you thoughts, God probably is in that relationship. While this may be an easily explained effort, complete honesty with ourselves can be very difficult. Prayer is really useful in situations like this.

Agreed. Scrutinizing every detail is a form of being vigilant. We cannot be saved and then sit back and expect everything to go according to plan without incident.

 

[Nathanael Chong]

I believe that God has specifically chosen someone to be your marriage partner. When God created a woman for Adam, He did not take a few of Adam's ribs, make a few women, and present them all to Adam for him to choose. God, in his all-knowingness, chose a specific person for Adam.
As for knowing whether someone is the One, seek God earnestly for His guidance. Seek His will. Take time, you have to be absolutely sure that it is within God's will.