How Machiavellian are you?

[PeterJens]

God loves us all, so we need to learn how to like and love others (from PJ's signature)

So God love us. What does that mean exactly?
What part does he like? The sinful parts as well? Hubris? Hard-heartedness?
Does he like our personalities? or only our souls?
I think the better we understand God's love, the more effective we can be in loving others.

That is a good question. What do you love about yourself and others?
We all know what love is because love dwells in us, we are born with it. Love for our parents, whether we like it or not. We know love for our friends for those we like, for family. But what turns this love into hatred and anger, a friend to an enemy? Look at who God loved. Jacob, Noah, David, Samson, Abraham.
Now you have been a follower for a long time, but have you not answered this question before?

God makes clear who He blesses and forgives and who he condemns and judges. So is this really a closed question or something you are avoiding?

 

[humble soul]

any answer is ok. but dont point me to corinthians 13. that has become cliched unfort.

 

[PeterJens]

any answer is ok. but dont point me to corinthians 13. that has become cliched unfort.

What is lostness? A woman we knew, Jince, walked up and down our road. She was a single person in her 70's. She liked talking and people were willing to pass the time with her. But after a few minutes the conversation would turn to her life. Bitterness, anger, blame would start to pour out of her, one every subject. It was like a boil bursting, and green puss flowed. It got so bad one would actually avoid Jince when you saw her, because it would always be the same.

When she passed away, we went to her funeral. Unfortunately everyone had one thought, I hope I never become like that. It was not she could not relate, be kind and loving, it was that she had become overwhelmed by bitterness and blame.

Love is the exact opposite. Love sees a situation and desires the best outcome, a way of seeing things grow and become fruitful and helpful. It desires to know needs and solutions, even if it costs. They say you see what you are looking for.

So looking for the good and the courageous, the strength and grace finds it, and can help it grow. Looking for the fault, the failure, the imperfect, the thing to demean and bring down, will find it, and in the end destroy the very thing they hope to build.

It is like the critical manager will create failed workers, because they will never feel appreciated or able to succeed only that they are never good enough and never able to do what is needed. God bless you

 

[humble soul]

re Jince
well part of me feels for Jince. Loneiness can do that to you. Yet i know how difficult such people can be. They only feel their own pain. Not others.
A neighbour in his late 60s became a friend of mine. He was obsessed with hatred for his ex wife.But he didnt see that he might have enabled some of her bad behaviour. But he did have a cheerful side fortunately.
I might have some of Jince's personality. But most of my blame is self blame. I didnt measure up careet wise. i lacked grit. I lacked confidence. I lacked resilience. But that bores people after a while I know. Trouble is , as our future gets shorter our past gets longer. Living in the present is not so easy imo.

 

[humble soul]

I really hated a young girl at work. But one day a colleague said "be firm with her. dont take nonsense from her. "
this was great advice in hindsight. but at the time I couldnt see it. I was in denial. why cant everyone act like adults at work? i was being forced out of my comfort zone. i had to change my approach with her. i was giving her way too much leeway. way too much respect. I needed to find a style of communication that protected me and gave her a wake up call in a nice way. that is hard. and some of us never master it.
if you master communication, you master life....imo

 

[humble soul]

Because that contempt for her was actually self contempt. I hated my own weakness. i didnt want to appear uncool. "hey humble soul doesnt get angry at anything" . i would risk looking a fool.
but the biggest fool is one who is afraid of appearing foolish

 

[PeterJens]

Because that contempt for her was actually self contempt. I hated my own weakness. i didnt want to appear uncool. "hey humble soul doesnt get angry at anything" . i would risk looking a fool.
but the biggest fool is one who is afraid of appearing foolish

The first step to freedom is to love the individual concerned and see why they behave as they do. In this way you can appropriately redirect their attention, and express ones own needs and limits within this interaction. Stepping away from people and being 100% professional works.

My daughter did this with a doctor. She is a physio. The doctor asked the physio to treat a patient, but would not take responsibility for the referral. The problem was the wrong treatment would harm the patient and the physio would be blamed. So simply she said she would document that the referring doctor told her the patient was capable of walking unaided and just needed strength checking and exercises regarding this.

This meant if things went wrong it was the doctors fault. The doctor then withdrew the referral until they had properly diagnosed the problem. This was not confrontational, it forced responsibility to the right person, and made sure things were done properly. And this is also proper professional behaviour, so not personal at all. The written word is very powerful, cannot be argued with.

God bless you