How to become a submissive wife?

[Mrs. Submission]

I want to ask everyone how to deal with this particular issue.
When I don't like a choice that my husband has made for us, sometimes I struggle with not questioning him or nagging.
My husband handles it well by calmly stating that he has made a final decision.

 

[IncredibleTransformation]

This video takes about an hour and a half to go through but it really talks about the Proverbs 31 woman. You will be surprised at what it says.

 

[righteyealenna]

I want to ask everyone how to deal with this particular issue.
When I don't like a choice that my husband has made for us, sometimes I struggle with not questioning him or nagging.
My husband handles it well by calmly stating that he has made a final decision.

Surrender is the word your looking for dear.

 

[Mrs. Submission]

Thanks so much!

My husband has recently told me that he doesn't like it when I complain a lot and seem unhappy. He says that he wishes that I would smile more often. I find that I am most cranky during a certain time of the month. I must say that my husband is good at comforting me during that time; he brings me hot compresses for my abdomen and buys sweet treats. I'm lucky that he is so patient.

I think that most men want to be with a woman who smiles often. I have always been told that I am too stoic and my husband encourages me to smile by telling me how beautiful I look when I grin.

 

[dustindraper1986]

To be quite frank, the roles are very much reversed in our times now. It's disturbing.

 

[Mrs. Submission]

To be quite frank, the roles are very much reversed in our times now. It's disturbing.

So true! Feminism has brought such a blight on marriages. I always say that I was born in the wrong era.

 

[Mrs. Submission]

I cannot thank all of you enough for being so supportive and caring. God is good!
We have moved into our new home. I enjoyed watching my husband lift heavy items and assemble furniture.
It is a turn on to see my husband show his masculine strength.
I made sure to thank him for buying a home for us as well as moving everything in with one of my siblings and my dear old dad.
I have started to speak quietly to match our new surroundings. It is very quiet here in the boonies.

 

[Mrs. Submission]

So we're having a battle of wills again. Today I prayed and asked God to help me submit.
I've been contacted about a job. Where we live, jobs are scarce so I wouldn't have the option of finding another one quickly like I did in the bit city. I would like to take this job if I'm selected.
I've recently kicked an addiction which plagued me for a decade. My husband is very proud of me. However, he feels that I am not ready to work again just yet. He would like me to spend two months free of my addiction before looking for work again.
What do you think? Should I listen to my husband?

 

[SpagLard]

Hello,

haven't been around here for a while ,
so started reading all the new topics, and this is an interesting conversation to me.

Sure , listen to your husband, and if his points are valid, take them into consideration.
It's pretty hard to hold yourself back from "remaining active" , at another's behest or advice,
but if you feel your husband has your best health and wellbeing in mind, submit to his request.
One addiction is not the other, and having an active day/ different focus (like work) can be great support for getting over habits/addictions
maybe if you speak to him and try to make him see it is important to you he will understand and perhaps reconsider > ?

 

[Mrs. Submission]

Hello,

haven't been around here for a while ,
so started reading all the new topics, and this is an interesting conversation to me.

Sure , listen to your husband, and if his points are valid, take them into consideration.
It's pretty hard to hold yourself back from "remaining active" , at another's behest or advice,
but if you feel your husband has your best health and wellbeing in mind, submit to his request.
One addiction is not the other, and having an active day/ different focus (like work) can be great support for getting over habits/addictions
maybe if you speak to him and try to make him see it is important to you he will understand and perhaps reconsider > ?

I did not choose that job due to negative information that I read during my research.
The area that we live in is a career wasteland. We knew this when we moved here.
I'm proud that I am over 30 days sober from my addiction. I've also changed my eating habits dramatically and I exercise more.
God is empowering me to live a healthier life.

 

[iLOVE]

Our wives are like mirrors, reflecting back to us what kinds of husbands we are. Sometimes God will allow you to experience larger problems in life because He wants to unveil a larger portion of Himself to you. An important principle of living by faith is knowing that if God is the cause of whatever issue you are facing, then only God can be the solution.

 

[Mrs. Submission]

Hi everyone...just wanted to give an update.

I'm doing far better with submission than I was before. I'm not so argumentative and I accept my husband's decisions, even though I sometimes accept his leadership somewhat grudgingly. I received many small gifts for Valentine's Day but the best one was my husband's message inside my card; he said that he has fallen even more in love with me because of all the positive changes I've made. I have not smoked in months, I exercise and I'm far more pleasant to be around.

I pray often. I ask God to help me be the best wife I can be. I also pray that my husband will come home safely when the weather is bad and I always praise God when my hubby walks through the door. We are in the midst of a snowstorm and I thank God that we have a lovely home to keep warm in during this time. My volunteer work with the homeless has made me even more grateful.

 

[Malachi]

I'm doing far better with submission than I was before. I'm not so argumentative and I accept my husband's decisions, even though I sometimes accept his leadership somewhat grudgingly.

So essentially you are still not is submission. When a wife accepts her husband's leadership ungrudgingly, then she is applying the Word to herself, and it is ultimately obedience to God and Christ. This is a battle between the flesh and the Spirit.

 

[Mrs. Submission]

I've been having a hard time submitting on a certain issue. My husband and I live in a semi rural area on the outskirts of our small city.
We live very close to a more rural area with no public transit and very few amenities. There's more farmland.

I would love to move there someday and we like to discuss the future. My husband has said that he doesn't want to live in that area because he doesn't think that would be a good environment for me since I don't drive. He wants me to have the option of taking the bus when I want to go somewhere when he isn't home. I know his reasons make sense but I find myself bringing up the topic to see if I can convince my husband to change his mind. I realize this is wrong and I should simply accept his decision. I still struggle with submission sometimes.

How can I learn to drop this issue and trust that my husband is right? I think that when we go through that area, I start imagining how nice it would be to live there and I get carried away. Driving is not an option for me because I have a health problem.

 

[Malachi]

Driving is not an option for me because I have a health problem.

There's nothing to stop you from asking for healing, and then you can learn to drive and be mobile. If you have not considered the significance of James 5:13-18, then please apply it to your own health problem. Once you are capable of driving, your husband should re-consider, since that is his only objection (which at this point makes complete sense).

 

[Mrs. Submission]

I took the time to pray and ask God for guidance. I no longer bring up the moving to the rural area issue.
I enjoy the small city where we live now and I've built quite a network here. Volunteer work is keeping me busy.
Driving is not likely to be an option because my licence was taken away due to my medical problems. Since I am changing my medication for my health issues, my doctor has asked that I focus on one thing at a time before he tries to get me cleared medically for driving.
I'm glad that I'm learning to keep my cool more but I think that's a result of prayer and realizing that I'm weak without Jesus.

 

[reba]

 

[Mrs. Submission]

There's nothing to stop you from asking for healing, and then you can learn to drive and be mobile. If you have not considered the significance of James 5:13-18, then please apply it to your own health problem. Once you are capable of driving, your husband should re-consider, since that is his only objection (which at this point makes complete sense).

Prayer and belief in God does not take away every problem we have. My health problem is far more complex than you realize; it isn't just a matter of applying a Bible passage and praying away my illness. If illness was that simple, then nobody would be sick! While I agree that my mobility is limited when someone doesn't drive, I make great use of public transit and taxis rather than waiting for my husband to drive me everywhere.

Yes, my husband's objections make complete sense and that's why I stopped bringing it up.

The reason I have not been responding to your messages is the tone of your posts are rather judgmental. Unlike other members who have posted in this thread, you are not being supportive or empathetic. I realize that I fail at being submissive in different ways and I don't need someone rubbing my face in my shortcomings. Simplifying health issues that you know very little about with "Well, just ask for healing, apply this Bible passage and then you'll be fine" is ignorant and incorrect.

I can't stop you from responding to my thread but I don't have to engage you if I don't like your communication style.

 

[Timothy07]

Hello everyone. I attempted to post about this issue in another Christian forum. Unfortunately, the members were very unwelcoming and told me to ask this question on a different Christian forum instead. They also referred to submission as "being a doormat", which demonstrated a lack of understanding. So here I am! :wink

I am going to share some very difficult aspects of my life in order to give a detailed background. I hope that I do not offend anyone.

I grew up in an affluent yet abusive home. My mother is a battleax who abused me verbally and physically. She loved to scream and swear. My father is a quiet sweetheart just like my husband. He and I are very close I and I grew up watching my dear dad be emasculated by my mother's bullying and domineering nature.

I left home at 21 to escape that environment. I went through a promiscuous phase after being raised in a very strict home. I was also trying to reclaim my sexuality in a misguided and harmful way after being sexually abused. During my promiscuous phase, I was also a raging feminist. I swore that I would never marry, take a man's name or cook for him. I was so angry at men and I was sleeping around to assert my "individuality." I was a wild kid back then.

My husband and I met when I was 25. His tender and patient way of relating to me won me over, along with his chivalrous approach to dating. We married 4 years ago, which was 3 years after we met. Our marriage is mostly happy except for my tendency to behave just like my mother when I am angry with my husband.

I have been in counseling which has helped immensely. I have also started to pray and ask God to remove the anger demon which was left by all the trauma I endured. I want to be more submissive to my husband because I respect and trust my hubby the way I never done with any other man. Though he is mild mannered, my husband sets firm boundaries for my behavior and assumes the leader role. This is very different from the dynamic I saw between my parents. My father was henpecked and my mother was a screeching harpy.

I find that I feel calmer and happier when I submit to my husband. I feel like he made me into an honest and decent woman. My main issue is that I am naturally a headstrong and stubborn woman. Though I enjoy nurturing my husband and listening to his advice, I also feel conflicted since I am so different from who I was before I met him. I wonder if I am giving up my independent identity. I have told my husband that I want to submit to him more and he was pleased.

How can I be a submissive wife? I am open to any any suggestions. Please pray for me as well.

Hi, I would like to say that that is a very brave thing to say all you have with the honesty you've shown. I am divorcing my Wife of 9 years now because I simply do not wish our 2 year old son our only child to bear witness to the kind of abuse that you have seen as a child. We were married by a JP and not by the church totally against my beliefs and she would not come to church with me.
My advise as a Man is to seek out Gods help and work with the church, honor your husband as he honors you, all in the eyes of God.
I hope maybe my Wife and I can reconcile and become married by the church after our divorce and that she can learn to respect me, I'm no saint in all this but she is over the line out of control. it is refreshing to hear you say what you have thank you. God bless you and your family.

 

[selihah]

Just a thought Tim, but is there a pattern to the troubles you go through? I deal with a bi-polar wife, not easy, but I know its something she really cant control sometimes. We sought help and now that I understand whats going on, i can better deal with the situation, batten down the hatches and weather the storm.

edit: and by pattern I mean I can almost set my watch by it.