How to become a submissive wife?

[Jethro Bodine]

1Pe 3:5 For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands:
1Pe 3:6 Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.
1Pe 3:7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.

Okay, good. (Although vs. 7 can be ignored, lol )

Now let's try it in English ()...

"...do what is right without* being frightened by any fear." (1 Peter 3:6 NASB)

I honestly think the fundamental problem with a women submitting to her husband is fear. But that is what we all have to struggle with in our submission to Christ. It's scary to surrender up all of our natural defensive mechanisms (pride, hatred, wrath, etc.) in order to follow authority.

 

[Brother Mike]

Over look the verbiage used...

Mike you strongly believe in 'faith healing" yet you would have a spouse walk out on a marriage? where is your faith?

It's not like I would not help them pack their bags by faith.

 

[Fish Catcher Jim]

If you want to know about women/men who are abused by their spouse you have to know what these types of abusers are like, their psychology. They are Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde. Many times the spouse that is being abused does not talk about it at all, they hide it because it is shameful and they truly believe it is their fault that they are abused. This is especially true among Christians. If I just submit better and love him more he'll stop beating me. They pray and pray, God show me what I need to do.
If you want to know, which you should, not just because you counsel but for the sake of your children, go and talk to a victim's advocate at your local woman's resource center. Most of them are very compassionate people with lots of knowledge. They always have materials for free to help someone identify an abuser before ones gets in too deep to get out.

These abusers don't walk out, they have exactly what they sought out so they have no reason to leave.

Hi Deborah,
This reply is just off of your post and is not directed to it. I just stopped here is all... ;)
Wives submitting to their husbands is one thing, when you add physical abuse this is a brand new area and the first choice is for their safety. God would NOT EVER demand that a wife stay in the same house if her husband is beating her. Now then if the abuse is as persecution or pressure for the words sake because she is saved then that is yet another story..

The out come of the second all depends on the heart of the wife. She can choose to be bitter and will reep from her bitterness. She can choose to trust God and declare the Glory of God over the situation and not be moved then she will see her husband and house hold turn to the Lord. No husbands sinfulness or evil heart can stand against a wife who truly knows her place in Christ and trust God enough to not be moved and LIVE IN THE JOY OF THE LORD and she will see change come unto her house hold....To the rest........lol to hell with the what ifs

 

[Fish Catcher Jim]

It's not like I would not help them pack their bags by faith.

Nice Save Brother.........

 

[Jethro Bodine]

It's not like I would not help them pack their bags by faith.

Boooo!

 

[Mrs. Submission]

Hey everyone! Just checking in. It has been a long time.

I am enjoying my housewife role more now. I see myself as a woman supporting my husband as he climbs the corporate ladder. I've been working on weight loss to be healthier and look cuter for my husband.

I have also thought about the Scriptural teachings about wives and husband's bodies belonging to each other. I have not refused my husband when he wanted to be affectionate or intimate since my last post. Changing my attitude and praying has made a huge difference. Instead of getting exasperated and being cold, I remember to be glad that my husband can't keep his hands off of me.

Tonight during dinner, my husband told me that he wants to have a new job by 2018. He is tired of the lack of compensation for the amount of work he does, as well as the lack of challenge. He is also planning on discussing a higher salary if he doesn't get a raise that is more than 3%. My husband also informed me that if he finds a better position in another province, we will be moving for that opportunity if it is right.
I swallowed my fears and said: "I will support you in whatever you decide for your career and our life together. I trust you to make the best decisions for us."

 

[Cturtle]

Hey everyone! Just checking in. It has been a long time.

I am enjoying my housewife role more now. I see myself as a woman supporting my husband as he climbs the corporate ladder. I've been working on weight loss to be healthier and look cuter for my husband.

I have also thought about the Scriptural teachings about wives and husband's bodies belonging to each other. I have not refused my husband when he wanted to be affectionate or intimate since my last post. Changing my attitude and praying has made a huge difference. Instead of getting exasperated and being cold, I remember to be glad that my husband can't keep his hands off of me.

Tonight during dinner, my husband told me that he wants to have a new job by 2018. He is tired of the lack of compensation for the amount of work he does, as well as the lack of challenge. He is also planning on discussing a higher salary if he doesn't get a raise that is more than 3%. My husband also informed me that if he finds a better position in another province, we will be moving for that opportunity if it is right.
I swallowed my fears and said: "I will support you in whatever you decide for your career and our life together. I trust you to make the best decisions for us."

Wow!!! You have been doing some growing! You sound so happy and peaceful! It looks great on you!
I'll be praying for your husbands job situation!
Blessings of peace and joy be yours in abundance!

 

[Jethro Bodine]

I've been working on weight loss to be healthier and look cuter for my husband.

I'm betting you already look incredibly more beautiful to your husband. Seriously. Godly submission is just plain sexy to a husband if you don't mind me being perfectly blunt.

I swallowed my fears and said: "I will support you in whatever you decide for your career and our life together. I trust you to make the best decisions for us."

YOU are a daughter of Sarah.

6 like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear. (1 Peter 3:6 NASB)

I am excited for you. Thanks for sharing.

If you don't mind, toss up a prayer or two for my wife to learn about this secret of joy and life and find the courage and faith to walk in it. :wink I believe you're in a good spot now to have some pretty powerful prayers.

 

[Mrs. Submission]

I'm betting you already look incredibly more beautiful to your husband. Seriously. Godly submission is just plain sexy to a husband if you don't mind me being perfectly blunt.


YOU are a daughter of Sarah.

6 like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear. (1 Peter 3:6 NASB)

I am excited for you. Thanks for sharing.

If you don't mind, toss up a prayer or two for my wife to learn about this secret of joy and life and find the courage and faith to walk in it. :wink I believe you're in a good spot now to have some pretty powerful prayers.

I'm not really a daughter of Sarah since I am not a Christian and I don't attend church. I appreciate the compliment though.
I will pray for your wife. Maybe you should show her this thread.
My husband has been acting more like a leader now that I decided to submit to him more. I find that very attractive.
Though it would hurt to have to leave all of my friends and family to move a plane ride away from them, I believe that my husband knows what is best for both of us.

I recently gave him a card to show him how much I appreciate him "slaying corporate dragons" for us and "buying a castle for his princess".
I still need to work on giving him my undivided attention when he comes home. When my husband hasn't seen me all day, he doesn't like coming home to his wife glued to the phone or computer.

 

[reba]

most of this thread goes both ways...

 

[Mrs. Submission]

This morning, my husband did something that made me feel sexually violated. He kept trying to have sex with me when I said no due to discomfort. He did stop after more than one no but I still didn't appreciate it. We had a long talk this morning.
I have a history of sexual abuse so I am very sensitive to feeling like my boundaries are being ignored.

 

[Malachi]

I have a history of sexual abuse so I am very sensitive to feeling like my boundaries are being ignored.

With all due respect, it would be in your own interest to avoid sharing such matters publicly. And sometimes we should be willing to give up our own comfort zones for the sake of others. That is a general Bible principle.

 

[Mrs. Submission]

There is no reason for me to be ashamed of surviving such an ordeal, so I don't have a problem with sharing my history on an anonymous forum. I refuse to believe that I should endure physical pain for the sake of my husband's pleasure either. I would never ask him to do that.

 

[About the Son of God]

But we don't need to be miserable, there is a joy in the Lord that cannot be taken away. And I don't see how a spouse can stand in the away of us having a relationship with the Lord, no matter how bad it is, even in the cases of serious abuse.

It goes like this: Matthew 18:9
The passage is hyperbole, but not entirely.

An eye is part of the body; the spouse is also part of the body.
The eye, seldom is a cause for concern other than lust; and generally one can at least close the eye or do something short of cutting it off to stop the issues with lust (men have the problem, and women generally don't -- so if you don't understand what I'm talking about, ask your husband if he has ever involuntarily reacted to a woman's presence because of what he saw of her with his eyes. It's different between men and women, and even sometimes longtime spouses don't realize that there is a real gender reaction difference in the body until they talk about it.)

But, with a spouse -- in abusive situations -- they know their other half's weaknesses and can exploit them, and unlike the devil who can do no more than tempt; the spouse has physical access to the other's body and rights over it.

Consider why Paul says this: 1Corinthians 6:18

And it is herein, that lies an a plethora of ways that a woman or man can sin against their spouse which *is* their own body besides simple adultery. What is masturbation, or what is purposely arousing a spouse to the point of no return -- and then calling them fat, and stopping and walking out of the room? Leaving the other in a position of no return, -- it's anything but joy, I assure you to be left like that. If -- Paul says this regarding the inability to control one's own body: "I do not do what I want, but what I hate." ( Romans 7:19) and he says it over the warring *within* a single body, with a single brain that has all rights; How much more when it's two different people in one flesh? For: Whether eye against the will, or spouse with the husband, or faithless Christian against the gifts of God -- it's the same kind of war.

So, think about it:
Sexuality does things to the brain; it affects it deeply, far more deeply than what is seen with the eye -- and if Paul says *FLEE* fornication, because of what it does to the body -- and fornication is also used to mean the the same as adultery or mixed marriages between Israel and Pagan nations; then consider how serious spousal abuse must be in terms of risk of shipwreck of the faith?

For idols are nothing; nothing at all --but Paul says some are weak, and should not be around idols, or scandal where a strong christian eats meats offered to idols.

And it's true, that Paul says it is better to marry than burn, but would I wold like to add a caveat: better not to marry than both marry AND burn.

At a certain point, which is not well defined; there is a transition from spouse -- to Baal.

Some spouses are incredibly strong, and their faith and ability may allow them to weather serious abuse; but many are not.

It's not until you find your own mind failing you from abuse, that you can really appreciate that the body is weak even if the spirit is willing. Peter was so sure he could die with Christ, that his joy could never be trampled -- but then, we see him unable to answer Jesus Agape Love for Agape Love in John 21:17 because of his denials; and on the third time, Jesus even questions Peter's "philea" Love. Check the Greek -- that's why Peter *totally* panics.

Fear of being beaten to death, sexual abuse, these things are on par with the temptation to abandon the Lord that Peter faced over crucifixion; and surely, there is forgiveness with the Lord, and joy in that forgiveness.... but look at a realistic case, even in forgiveness can come panic.

Lord I can do all things with your grace, but Lord -- must you really make me do all things ?!

 

[Nordica]

I think a majority of women have this issue we try to navigate. (especially in today's world)

What Jesus has revealed to me in my life, is that he can be trusted with our hearts. When you surrender the deepest part of yourself over to him, "we" don't have to feel like the world is on our shoulders. This allows us to appreciate our husbands and go with the flow of their spirit.

Wow, very good word. That's true! I found out it's really hard to submit to my husband when I fear that things may go wrong in our life. But it's actually trusting Jesus not ourselves. If we trust Jesus then we put pressure off ourselves and our husbands, and it's easier to submit!

 

[jasonc]

There is no reason for me to be ashamed of surviving such an ordeal, so I don't have a problem with sharing my history on an anonymous forum. I refuse to believe that I should endure physical pain for the sake of my husband's pleasure either. I would never ask him to do that.

technically if what you described did happen, and I believe you. he raped you. consentual sex in that situation isn't and therefore a crime was commited.

 

[Mrs. Submission]

technically if what you described did happen, and I believe you. he raped you. consentual sex in that situation isn't and therefore a crime was commited.

I suppose it is. All I can say is that given my history and the relationship I have with my husband, I certainly did not feel raped as he did stop eventually and he wasn't intentionally trying to hurt me. I won't be pressing charges or leaving my husband.

 

[jasonc]

I suppose it is. All I can say is that given my history and the relationship I had with my husband, I certainly did not feel raped as he did stop eventually and he wasn't intentionally trying to hurt me. I won't be pressing charges or leaving my husband.

ok

 

[Mrs. Submission]

ok

Thank you for respecting my choice. I greatly appreciate it.
On other forums, my choice would have become a heated argument filled with name calling

 

[jasonc]

Thank you for respecting my choice. I greatly appreciate it.
On other forums, my choice would have become a heated argument filled with name calling

I'm not you.I'm not also in a position to give legal advice.I have some law enforcement training.but only you know the situation.if you posts more from an abused person then I would go from there.