How To Raise A Brat

[Jude]

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]How To Raise A Brat![/FONT]

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]By Pastor Art Kohl [/FONT]

Art Kohl is pastor of Faith Bible Baptist Church of Eden, NY USA

<hr> [FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]So many today have been successful at raising brats. Here's some of the finest advice you'll ever receive on how to raise a brat: [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]1. WHEN A BABY, DON'T LET HIM CRY IN BED Do not allow YOUR baby to suffer any hardships, especially in infancy. Run to his aid as soon as he cries. He'll soon know how to control you, rather than you controlling him. This way, they'll expect to be pampered all of their lives. [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]2. LET HIM SAY "NO" It's so cute. Let that be his favorite word. Sure, it's rebellion verbalized, but he should be allowed to have a mind of his own. [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]3. DO NOT GIVE ANY DUTIES, RESPONSIBILITIES Do it all for them. Then they'll think this world owes them a living. They'll quickly join the crowd of grown up babies shouting, "I've got my rights," rather than those who are men and women enough to fulfill their responsibilities. [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]4. NEVER SPANK THEMWhen the senior citizens today speak of spanking as being "the way we used to do it," remember, grandma and grandpa were "child abusers." Don't ever discipline your child. Wait till they're in trouble, and let the penal system (prisons and jails) discipline them. Listen to Dr. Spock (who never raised a child in his life) and the other child psychologists, not the old timers who raised 5 or 10 children successfully!
Throw out the Bible and its admonitions like: "He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes (early in life)" Proverbs 13:24. "The rod AND reproof (teaching that exposes wrong) give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame," Proverbs 29:15. You can only develop a true brat if you won't properly discipline them. [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]5. DEFEND THEM IN SCHOOL Always take the child's side. Teachers and principals have got it "in" for the little angel. Understand that your child can do no wrong. Expect teachers and principals to know that too! [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]6. CRITICIZE LEADERS AND PREACHERS You can't trust them. Tear down authority in front of them. Make sure they hear you. They'll live in insecurity not knowing who to trust. They will be totally prepared for a life of rebellion. They will not learn to properly fear anyone and will probably lose their jobs when the boss asks them to do something. Don't tell them that 99% of those in leadership positions are good people who are sincere and have never been indicted for anything. Leave them with the impression that they are all bad. [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]7. DON'T EVER SAY "I LOVE YOU" They can figure that out! After all, you've given them everything they've ever wanted. What more can a parent do (of course, don't give them yourself!) [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]8. GIVE THEM EVERYTHING THEY WANT Buy something for them every time you go into a store. Never say "no" to them. When properly trained this way, they will be used to having every appetite of theirs fulfilled immediately. When they grow older and develop natural sexual appetites, they will have been trained by you to seek immediate fulfillment. Teen pregnancy or sexually transmitted diseases shouldn't really surprise the parent then. Sooo... give them everything they ask for while they are kids. [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]9. NEVER TEACH THEM THE BIBLE Teach them math, science, history, art, music, reading, physical education, sex education, etc. but don't teach them the Bible. Let them decide for themselves. Make them go to school 5 days a week for all day, but don't take them to church for 1 hour on Sunday. [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]10. ALWAYS TRUST YOUR CHILD He's a little angel. He wouldn't dare do anything behind your back. Did you ever ask a young person whom you catch smoking, "Do you smoke at home?" Usually the answer is, "You've got to be kidding my parents would kill me." Remember, that's the other kids in town, yours would never do that. [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]11. SCREAM AT YOUR CHILDREN This is the only type of communication necessary to raise a brat. Time spent answering their questions and instructing them is wasted time. The only training really required of parents is potty-training. After that, it is the obligation of day cares preschools and schools. Scream constantly, and the fond memories your children have of home life will assure you as a parent that your kids will never take care of you when you're old. [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]12. LET YOUR CHILD COME AND GO AS THEY WILL Don't set any boundaries. This will lead to a life of insecurity. Brats don't need guidelines. [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]13. MAKE SURE THEY ARE POPULAR They must be in with the crowd, their peers! Don't let them be an oddball. If they follow the crowd, the crowd will become the greatest influence in their lives. Nothing to fear there, right? [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]14. LET THEM WATCH TV CONSTANTLY Keep them away from reality. Let them live in fantasy all of their lives. Brats need entertainment! A life of comfort and ease produces high-class brats. They won't know how to deal with reality or real people, but maybe they'll just go into seclusion rather than becoming contentious or hostile. It's usually one or the other.

CONCLUSION Brats are produced, not born. It takes effort to obey the above principles. Parents should prepare themselves for a life of heartbreak for it is sure to come. [/FONT]

 

[lamplady]

lol true ...

 

[handy]

I had to ruefully laugh at most of these, because they are so true.

I will go on record as strenuously disagreeing with #1 though. Infants should never be left in their beds to cry. They are not capable of manipulation or controlling, they are just infants who are totally unable to meet any need they have. God gave the infant crying as a means to communicate need, and yes, sometimes the baby just needs, not wants, but NEEDS, mommy or daddy to cuddle them.

Once a baby is old enough to realize that when loved ones are out of sight they don't necessarily disappear altogether, and this can happen around 6-8 months, more or less, depending upon the development of the baby, then the parents can start holding off going to the crib if they can determine from the cry that there really isn't anything wrong, other than the fact that baby just doesn't want to be in the crib. Parents get pretty savvy at telling, just from how baby is crying, whether the baby is in distress or just being a bit of a fuss. However, if the cry turns from just fussiness to distress, the parent should answer that cry ASAP!! Never leave your baby to cry in distress, and if you aren't sure, then err on the side of love and go pick up the baby.

Then, once the baby is no longer an infant, but rather a toddler, (toddler means toddling around, pulling up on things, walking around, usually between 12-18 months) then one can start to leave the baby even longer. Toddlers do start to try to control others, they don't call it the "terrible two's" for nothing!

But, holding a baby (0-12 months) and holding the baby often, produces kids who are far, far more capable of being secure and loving. The sense of abandonment by a baby left to cry in a crib should never be underestimated.

Believe me, as a parent of horribly neglected children, I feel really strongly on this one. My kids are 13 and 10 and even though they have been in our loving and stable home now for 10 and 7 years, they still struggle with the neglect and abandonment they suffered in their early years.

 

[lamplady]

I had to ruefully laugh at most of these, because they are so true.

I will go on record as strenuously disagreeing with #1 though. Infants should never be left in their beds to cry. They are not capable of manipulation or controlling, they are just infants who are totally unable to meet any need they have. God gave the infant crying as a means to communicate need, and yes, sometimes the baby just needs, not wants, but NEEDS, mommy or daddy to cuddle them.

Once a baby is old enough to realize that when loved ones are out of sight they don't necessarily disappear altogether, and this can happen around 6-8 months, more or less, depending upon the development of the baby, then the parents can start holding off going to the crib if they can determine from the cry that there really isn't anything wrong, other than the fact that baby just doesn't want to be in the crib. Parents get pretty savvy at telling, just from how baby is crying, whether the baby is in distress or just being a bit of a fuss. However, if the cry turns from just fussiness to distress, the parent should answer that cry ASAP!! Never leave your baby to cry in distress, and if you aren't sure, then err on the side of love and go pick up the baby.

Then, once the baby is no longer an infant, but rather a toddler, (toddler means toddling around, pulling up on things, walking around, usually between 12-18 months) then one can start to leave the baby even longer. Toddlers do start to try to control others, they don't call it the "terrible two's" for nothing!

But, holding a baby (0-12 months) and holding the baby often, produces kids who are far, far more capable of being secure and loving. The sense of abandonment by a baby left to cry in a crib should never be underestimated.

Believe me, as a parent of horribly neglected children, I feel really strongly on this one. My kids are 13 and 10 and even though they have been in our loving and stable home now for 10 and 7 years, they still struggle with the neglect and abandonment they suffered in their early years.

also true ... ...

 

[theLords]

I had to ruefully laugh at most of these, because they are so true.

I will go on record as strenuously disagreeing with #1 though. Infants should never be left in their beds to cry. They are not capable of manipulation or controlling, they are just infants who are totally unable to meet any need they have. God gave the infant crying as a means to communicate need, and yes, sometimes the baby just needs, not wants, but NEEDS, mommy or daddy to cuddle them.

Once a baby is old enough to realize that when loved ones are out of sight they don't necessarily disappear altogether, and this can happen around 6-8 months, more or less, depending upon the development of the baby, then the parents can start holding off going to the crib if they can determine from the cry that there really isn't anything wrong, other than the fact that baby just doesn't want to be in the crib. Parents get pretty savvy at telling, just from how baby is crying, whether the baby is in distress or just being a bit of a fuss. However, if the cry turns from just fussiness to distress, the parent should answer that cry ASAP!! Never leave your baby to cry in distress, and if you aren't sure, then err on the side of love and go pick up the baby.

Then, once the baby is no longer an infant, but rather a toddler, (toddler means toddling around, pulling up on things, walking around, usually between 12-18 months) then one can start to leave the baby even longer. Toddlers do start to try to control others, they don't call it the "terrible two's" for nothing!

But, holding a baby (0-12 months) and holding the baby often, produces kids who are far, far more capable of being secure and loving. The sense of abandonment by a baby left to cry in a crib should never be underestimated.

Believe me, as a parent of horribly neglected children, I feel really strongly on this one. My kids are 13 and 10 and even though they have been in our loving and stable home now for 10 and 7 years, they still struggle with the neglect and abandonment they suffered in their early years.

Beautifully worded Handy! I can't remember how many stories I've heard in my Christian counseling program about people remembering how their mom or dad left them alone to cry when they were babies! It's creates such a wound in life, that adults, often need to address it in counseling and allow for the Lord to heal that area of their heart.

Many babies in orphanages stop responding to affection at young ages! The damage that is caused by that kind of thinking goes deep!

 

[Mike]

Here's one more that makes my head spin...

"Okay, Billy... I'm counting to 3 and I want you to give that toy to Jacob. One... Billy, give him that toy... two... Billy, give him that toy! Billy, do you hear me? I'm counting to three! Billy, give him that toy! Don't make me say three! I said, two... Oh, (taking the toy) here!" You know you're supposed to listen to me!"

Parents who never get to "three" and never deliver on punishment. Never follow through with the threat of consequences. We need to set the rules and teach them there's a price to pay for disobedience.

Their teachers, and later their managers, will have no problem "getting to three". By then, they'll have learned that rules are just suggestions that have no consequences.

 

[Strangelove]

Here's one more that makes my head spin...

"Okay, Billy... I'm counting to 3 and I want you to give that toy to Jacob. One... Billy, give him that toy... two... Billy, give him that toy! Billy, do you hear me? I'm counting to three! Billy, give him that toy! Don't make me say three! I said, two... Oh, (taking the toy) here!" You know you're supposed to listen to me!"

Parents who never get to "three" and never deliver on punishment. Never follow through with the threat of consequences. We need to set the rules and teach them there's a price to pay for disobedience.

Their teachers, and later their managers, will have no problem "getting to three". By then, they'll have learned that rules are just suggestions that have no consequences.

LOLZ Good one Mike. The 'counting to 5' trick is my go to play for my 5 year old son. And he knows I will deliver every single time. Usually it's no cartoons for 2 days.

(although sometimes I admit I'm guilty of reversing the punishment if he apologises by his own free will...he's just so cute! ;))

(and also I admit that sometimes the 4 to 5 count can include several fractions)

 

[Jude]

A Missionary taught me most of these rules, he has 4 children, well they are grown now. One of the most important rules? "never use discipline with your hand as in spanking" use the rod of correction. Any hardware store carries doweling, say 1/2 inch, the length 3 ft long. Keep this rod in open sight, point to it with this message, mess up once a warning, mess up twice the rod of correction on the bare bottom.

 

[Strangelove]

A Missionary taught me most of these rules, he has 4 children, well they are grown now. One of the most important rules? "never use discipline with your hand as in spanking" use the rod of correction. Any hardware store carries doweling, say 1/2 inch, the length 3 ft long. Keep this rod in open sight, point to it with this message, mess up once a warning, mess up twice the rod of correction on the bare bottom.

I don't disagree with hitting children per se. If your kid walks into the middle of the street then thats a spanking offence for sure. Some things you have to nip in the bud forcefully. You can't have them endangering their lives and thinking they can get off lightly.

But.....I don't use that kind of threat on a daily basis for my kids. I prefer the reward / taking away of privalages system.

Not having a go at you Jude, it's certainly a valid method but just saying it's not my personal thing.

 

[handy]

I prefer more creative ways to mentally punish my children.

We spanked when the kids were little, now we opt for the more creative way as well.

Like the time my son threw this big fit about having to bring in the firewood. I'm not sure why, he knew it was his chore...just decided not to do it one day and be onery about it.

Anyway, it was a cold day, a freezing cold day. So, when he threw the fit, I made him sit in time out....on the front porch...where it was well below freezing.

After a bit I stuck my head out the door and asked him if he was cold. He said yes, so I told him he'd better get some firewood in the house.

Worked, yep yep! No more fits about bringing in the wood!

Discipline and punishment is really easy with the teen girl...just "unplug" her. Life without Facebook, mp3, Gameboy, phone and DVD's is such a grim prospect the mere thought of being grounded from all usually straightens her out!

 

[Strangelove]

Discipline and punishment is really easy with the teen girl...just "unplug" her. Life without Facebook, mp3, Gameboy, phone and DVD's is such a grim prospect the mere thought of being grounded from all usually straightens her out!

I'll keep that in mind for when my kiddies get older. Thanks Handy.

If you're gonna ground you're kids then make sure they understand that means no electricity too otherwise it's more like a reward!

 

[pjt]

I agree with Handy that I disagree with #1. The first year of life is developing love and trust with the child. Once that love and trust is established then the child can trust and accept the discipline of a parent. A baby needs to be held, cuddled, comforted, reassured, and loved. Babies don`t cry just to cry. They cry because it is their only way to communicate. For newborns most of their day is just eating and sleeping so if they cry they should be looked after because there is a reason they are crying. It is tiring for a mom, I know, but the time is short while the investment of just holding the baby is countless. Moms should be encouraged to hold and comfort their babies. In many cultures moms wear the babies on their backs so the baby is with the mom all the time. A baby gets great comfort by simply feeling the warmth of its mom. This should not be undervalued.

 

[l'Chante]

I’m probably going to get slaughtered for saying this, but I’m a huge fan of spanking. I used to give my daughter a whack on the butt every now and then when she was naughty and now I have a little angle. She turned 6 in July, and I honestly can’t remember the last time I had to discipline her by spanking. No ‘count downs’ or threats. If I ask her to do something or I ask her to stop something, she listens. As long as you praise good behaviour, your child will be a pleasure because children are little ‘people pleasers’. They love attention and they want to be loved/liked by all.

<O</O
Another thing I never do is to raise my voice. Ask her in a respectful way, and she will act in a respectful way. A child shouldn’t be scared of a parent. There should be a strong feeling of trust.<O</O
<O</O

Lots of hugs, kisses and cuddles and it is so important to listen to your child. I agree with Handy. Attending to a child that had a nightmare or is sick during the night is futile. If it is just a temper tantrum because they don’t want to sleep, refer to point one on spanking, but if a child is scared during a thunderstorm at night, mommy needs to be there.<O</O

 

[Jude]

I don't disagree with hitting children per se. If your kid walks into the middle of the street then thats a spanking offence for sure. Some things you have to nip in the bud forcefully. You can't have them endangering their lives and thinking they can get off lightly.

But.....I don't use that kind of threat on a daily basis for my kids. I prefer the reward / taking away of privalages system.

Not having a go at you Jude, it's certainly a valid method but just saying it's not my personal thing.

I used that rod twice on each of them, after that they didn't need one, they are adults now. Oops' I forgot, add some of Gods love and its good by Dr. Spock.