Christ_empowered
Member
- Oct 23, 2010
- 14,233
- 10,720
I seem to recall Paul writing a good bit about human nature -- especially in the unredeemed/not yet redeemed -- in the NT. -shudder- "...such were some of you..." superiority is -not- the issue, obviously.
just...thinking...about my own life, here on earth and in Christ (9 years, now!), and...yeah. "human nature" was rough on me, back when I was a weakling, then a very sick (at all levels) weakling, then a "weakling, got religion..."
now? I'm not -huge- on using the word "miracle," not because I am limiting God, just...I'm more inclined to term mega-blessings "acts of God" and such (not that my terminology really matters all that much, lol), just...I dunno. precise word choice, I suppose? and so...
yeah, back to human nature. I was at dinner with my (loving, kind, long suffering) parents and...yeah. yeah. They really, truly are the only people, here on this planet, who are able and willing to go the extra mile (or...100 miles...) and provide what I need for a decent, normal life. truth?
i could easily be in prison, maybe what's left of the state hospital, a dirty and potentially unsafe group home (not all group homes are terrible, but the ones in my area are, in fact, horrible), maybe I could live in real poverty as a "mental patient," with all that involves, and...
ugh. I guess...this is part of facing the world I live in, isn't it? I'm more grateful (loving God! amazing parents!), but also more...disillusioned, I suppose. I really cannot work and support myself. I was, once, a short and homely, flamboyantly gay and bright individual...
now, I'm average height, not homely, not flamboyantly gay, apparently I have a "high IQ (estimate)," and...
the world waits for no one. at 37, the odds of me being able to transition into any sort of employment that would result in self-sufficiency is about -0- . so...all the more reason to Praise Jesus and be glad and thank my parents, of course. its also...
-sigh- maybe its because of the incessant taunting? Some people...maybe most people in my building?...don't want me living here. Thankfully, its owned and fully paid for and I'm law abiding, no drugs or drink, no crimes or anything, and....
the taunts are rough and based on a lot of junk and stuff from my (admittedly, shady and dark) past, pre-Jesus. now?
I dunno. I really...dunno. "human nature" I'm not flamboyantly gay and now I'm an average height, healthy, and...the probability of me ever being able to marry a lady are approximately -0- . It isn't that I'm "gay affirming," its just...can't go straight, and same sex unions are both sinful and inherently extra-unstable and generally short lived. and so...
mama and dad. friends? I dunno. I don't know that I'll find real, true, close friends ever again...and that's not self pity so much as it is a statement of fact in my own life, and I think a large (and probably growing) number of other peoples' lives, too. the lower down the social totem pole one goes, the fewer friends. become an outcast -- thankfully, an outcast blessed with health and good parents and what I need for life and for godliness, amen -- and the odds of a lasting, meaningful friendship in the here and now in today's usa drop to....
wow. I'm thinking about -0- , yet again. lol. oh well. "count your blessings." among them: my parents love me and are kind to me; I have been forgiven, washed and made clean (in the here and now, even!); I have freedom that -very few people- coming from the pits of sin and destruction as I did enjoy on earth; and...
yeah. yeah. reality, bites...at times. lol. maybe that's part of the appeal of psychiatry, psychology? "no, that's not reality...you need a pill, you need a talking treatment..." on and on. escape takes many forms...
"cast your cares upon Him, for He cares for you..." yes, indeed. and...as always: thank you all for reading, prayers, encouragement, support, on and on and on. truth? "the way the world works..." I would not even be alive past 18 or 19, had Jesus not seen fit to spare me and then bring me out of the pit. OK. so, now? now, this looks and feels an awful, awful lot like deliverance, and I am increasingly thankful.
deal is...my parents seem happy with me, and that's about it. I keep getting labeled and all kinds of junk thrown my way, and its like...I guess once one has been on the reject pile of society, there's really no way into the mainstream or anything near it, just...
-shrug- the soft landing of "Schizophrenic, his parents take care of him," that kind of thing. At any rate...
God is Good.
thanks.
just...thinking...about my own life, here on earth and in Christ (9 years, now!), and...yeah. "human nature" was rough on me, back when I was a weakling, then a very sick (at all levels) weakling, then a "weakling, got religion..."
now? I'm not -huge- on using the word "miracle," not because I am limiting God, just...I'm more inclined to term mega-blessings "acts of God" and such (not that my terminology really matters all that much, lol), just...I dunno. precise word choice, I suppose? and so...
yeah, back to human nature. I was at dinner with my (loving, kind, long suffering) parents and...yeah. yeah. They really, truly are the only people, here on this planet, who are able and willing to go the extra mile (or...100 miles...) and provide what I need for a decent, normal life. truth?
i could easily be in prison, maybe what's left of the state hospital, a dirty and potentially unsafe group home (not all group homes are terrible, but the ones in my area are, in fact, horrible), maybe I could live in real poverty as a "mental patient," with all that involves, and...
ugh. I guess...this is part of facing the world I live in, isn't it? I'm more grateful (loving God! amazing parents!), but also more...disillusioned, I suppose. I really cannot work and support myself. I was, once, a short and homely, flamboyantly gay and bright individual...
now, I'm average height, not homely, not flamboyantly gay, apparently I have a "high IQ (estimate)," and...
the world waits for no one. at 37, the odds of me being able to transition into any sort of employment that would result in self-sufficiency is about -0- . so...all the more reason to Praise Jesus and be glad and thank my parents, of course. its also...
-sigh- maybe its because of the incessant taunting? Some people...maybe most people in my building?...don't want me living here. Thankfully, its owned and fully paid for and I'm law abiding, no drugs or drink, no crimes or anything, and....
the taunts are rough and based on a lot of junk and stuff from my (admittedly, shady and dark) past, pre-Jesus. now?
I dunno. I really...dunno. "human nature" I'm not flamboyantly gay and now I'm an average height, healthy, and...the probability of me ever being able to marry a lady are approximately -0- . It isn't that I'm "gay affirming," its just...can't go straight, and same sex unions are both sinful and inherently extra-unstable and generally short lived. and so...
mama and dad. friends? I dunno. I don't know that I'll find real, true, close friends ever again...and that's not self pity so much as it is a statement of fact in my own life, and I think a large (and probably growing) number of other peoples' lives, too. the lower down the social totem pole one goes, the fewer friends. become an outcast -- thankfully, an outcast blessed with health and good parents and what I need for life and for godliness, amen -- and the odds of a lasting, meaningful friendship in the here and now in today's usa drop to....
wow. I'm thinking about -0- , yet again. lol. oh well. "count your blessings." among them: my parents love me and are kind to me; I have been forgiven, washed and made clean (in the here and now, even!); I have freedom that -very few people- coming from the pits of sin and destruction as I did enjoy on earth; and...
yeah. yeah. reality, bites...at times. lol. maybe that's part of the appeal of psychiatry, psychology? "no, that's not reality...you need a pill, you need a talking treatment..." on and on. escape takes many forms...
"cast your cares upon Him, for He cares for you..." yes, indeed. and...as always: thank you all for reading, prayers, encouragement, support, on and on and on. truth? "the way the world works..." I would not even be alive past 18 or 19, had Jesus not seen fit to spare me and then bring me out of the pit. OK. so, now? now, this looks and feels an awful, awful lot like deliverance, and I am increasingly thankful.
deal is...my parents seem happy with me, and that's about it. I keep getting labeled and all kinds of junk thrown my way, and its like...I guess once one has been on the reject pile of society, there's really no way into the mainstream or anything near it, just...
-shrug- the soft landing of "Schizophrenic, his parents take care of him," that kind of thing. At any rate...
God is Good.
thanks.