[__ Praise __] I can do this!

[Christ_empowered]

Thanks to Christ, of course.

Had a surprisingly pleasant convo with my dad today. He said that, at some point, I need to be self-supporting. I pretty much straight up asked "what if i can't cut it in the working world?," to which he responded "you can and you will," but not in an angry tone...more like a helpful, paternal tone. and so...

j-o-b. its gotta happen, eventually, I guess. I wonder if my dad under-estimates the difficulties people face "out there," since he's got the masters degree and has worked the same job for decades? Or if maybe I read too much marxist stuff and the US is -not- actually as terrible as some on the (very) left make it out to be (?). Ugh.

I can do things now, that I don't think I ever could before. Keep in mind; I was all sortsa messed up as a teenager, ended up electro-shocked and operated on (no, not voluntarily, and yes...my 'treatment' does seem a little 1950s, doesn't it? LOL, and now...

OK. Started w/ a 120 IQ. Dipped to 95-105, plus obvious brain damage, so in terms of functioning...dull-normal plus untreated psychosis plus brain damage plus health problems. There ya go.

Age 23, I was lobotomized. Not voluntarily. I didn't think that still happened, but...then they took out -my- frontal lobes, so I guess it does still happen, now and then. So...

I'll soon be 34. My IQ is now estimated in the 130s or so, high enough for me to have a "high IQ" and/or be considered "Extremely intelligent." I'm not one to go by IQ estimates, but I do enjoy -not- having obvious brain damage and being able to understand all sorts of stuff, write well, and...yeah. God is good! Clearly, no -human being- can make stuff like this happen, least of all me.

point is, I think my dad is correct. God has blessed me so I won't have to be on SSI indefinitely. --NOTHING-- wrong with being on disability, if one needs it...no matter the problem(s), I"m thankful for disability. I'm also not "too good" to be on disability indefinitely, but if The Lord sees fit to make me able to do more, be (more) productive, etc...

then its fairly clear I should go with His will for my life, right? Right. Plus, at a practical level...finding a way to bring in my own income would be mean freedom (or...more freedom, anyway) from Mental Health, Inc. Its like this...now my parents "have money," as the locals say, so since The Lord has willed a miraculous reconciliation there, I get humane treatment. Thing is...

I remember how the "experts" treated me when they were (to quote a former "professional") "rinky dink middle-class," etc. Not good. not good at all. Plus...

psych -drugs- are one thing, -psychiatry- is quite another. Seriously. A family doctor could prescribe my stuff, no probs, if he or she felt so inclined. Psychiatrists are...a tricksy, tricksy bunch, and I"m pretty much tired of them. It was one thing, before Jesus saved me, but now its like...we don't see things the same way, we're definitely not operating with the same morals and principles, and...yeah. Antipsychiatry and "horrors of psychiatry" aside, its kinda like...I just need mah tranquilizer, thanks.

OK. I've rambled, as I often do. Point is...

God is good! My parents are still very much my parents, even though I'll soon be 34, and I"m called to honor+obey them, especially the father. So...there ya go. God is providing direction in my life, afterall. And I'm thankful.

I Praise God for His Goodness!

 

[Razeontherock]

It's every parent's natural calling and inclination to see their kids become independently productive members of society. So your Dad's right on track with that. I have to wonder if he's seriously considered the risk of losing SSI and then losing the job? It would seem that at least your two parents must've discussed this, since your Mom's aware of the potential problem. Can you tell us what your Dad's said about this?

I mean, it's an easy thought to say just jump in on any job that will hire you, which may well involve working outside. Drastic change! Low hours, lose the job so what, get another.

It's another thing entirely to make that work long term. Have you been able to have realistic discussions about this with your Dad?

 

[Razeontherock]

Ok. So, your Mom understands this more, which is pretty normal. Have you been able to have open conversation with her about your Dad's outlook on this?

I mean, the pure financial risk involved is a very "male" analytical way of looking at the situation that one might think your Dad could grasp intuitively, whereas maybe your Mom has never put it in those terms to him?

 

[Razeontherock]

If there's anything I learned in writing classes, it's don't focus on trying to write something so awesome it'll get published; just write.

After it's done, re-write it with a view towards getting published, knowing the publisher will impose further re-writes.

 

[Luminous_Rose]

Wow, your story breaks my heart. I am sorry all of that happened to you.

These days, the job market is not what it used to be. It used to be you went to school, got a job, and stuck with it until retirement. Promotions and raises also more common. These days it isn't even easy for some with graduate degrees to stay at one job for more than a year. Thankfully there are a lot more work from home opportunities now and easiee avenues to start your own small business.

I see you have a passion for writing! Have you ever considered self publishing an ebook on sonewhere like Amazon? There are many free online guides to get started. There are some websites (when I remember the name of one I was recommended I will let you know) that will assign you a free ISBN number as well if you want to sell it in retail or print off your oen copies for an out of pocket cost.There are some small costs, but it isn't too awful.

If you can do photography, there are large eork from home opportunities for that including selling stock photos online.

Check out websites like ratracerebellion.com for legit work from home opportunities. There are also some passive income apps I like such as Slide Joy and Ibotta as well.

I am thankful that you are getting the chance to step out there into the workforce. It isn't easy, but a good big step. You could maybe start with volunteer work. Places like animal shelters, libraries, food banks, and non profits generally need volunteers. It usually looks good on a resume. Many colleges offer free workshops to help you with resumes and may even offer job interview practice. Maybe try a career center at a local community college.

Most of all, I will be praying that God will continue to guide you on your journey and reveal to you what plans He has for you.

 

[Christ_empowered]

thanks.

you're right, of course....the world has changed, the economy has changed. -ugh-

I think my dad's so deep into the American Dream myth that he can't see what's right in front of him. The "cream" does not always rise to the top, hard work is not always rewarded, and there is not a solid 9-to-5 job complete with a pension and gold watch at retirement for all of us, in today's America. -sigh-

good thing mama's on the case, lol. seriously. she's all about some social issues, so I think she'll keep it real with mah dad. meanwhile...

i don't know what to make of God's work in my life. start with "problems," 120 IQ. Go thru stuff, operations (lobotomy! still can't quite believe it...), and then...

5 1/2 years into my Walk with The Lord, my "problems" have been upgraded to bona fide "severe mental illness" (hence disability), and my IQ is "high" or whatever, so its a good bit above the 120 I started with. Hmmmm.....

thanks for websites and such. self-publishing seems like a great idea, actually. my idea was to write a novel with a Christian theme, but not what I would consider a "Christian novel." In part because of -my- experiences of life, I'd want it to have pills and "adult situations," etc., but gradually make the Christian theme more and more apparent, if that makes sense. I don't know. "you write what you know," and anytime one writes about madness, sin is going to be in the picture.

ok. thanks again. I'm off to read your testimony now.

 

[Luminous_Rose]

thanks.

you're right, of course....the world has changed, the economy has changed. -ugh-

I think my dad's so deep into the American Dream myth that he can't see what's right in front of him. The "cream" does not always rise to the top, hard work is not always rewarded, and there is not a solid 9-to-5 job complete with a pension and gold watch at retirement for all of us, in today's America. -sigh-

good thing mama's on the case, lol. seriously. she's all about some social issues, so I think she'll keep it real with mah dad. meanwhile...

i don't know what to make of God's work in my life. start with "problems," 120 IQ. Go thru stuff, operations (lobotomy! still can't quite believe it...), and then...

5 1/2 years into my Walk with The Lord, my "problems" have been upgraded to bona fide "severe mental illness" (hence disability), and my IQ is "high" or whatever, so its a good bit above the 120 I started with. Hmmmm.....

thanks for websites and such. self-publishing seems like a great idea, actually. my idea was to write a novel with a Christian theme, but not what I would consider a "Christian novel." In part because of -my- experiences of life, I'd want it to have pills and "adult situations," etc., but gradually make the Christian theme more and more apparent, if that makes sense. I don't know. "you write what you know," and anytime one writes about madness, sin is going to be in the picture.

ok. thanks again. I'm off to read your testimony now.

The story idea makes sensr for the Christian theme. Think about reading Frank Peretti's (sp?) works if you haven't already! I wrote a story while in high school and finished it in college. It is not published, but I know I will get there. It is my dream. Anyway, I went back and did add a Christian theme even if it is ever so subtle. =)

 

[Christ_empowered]

its me, again.

my parents just left my place. they are -such- good people. they didn't load me down with stuff, but they brought over some tea and breakfast, then they helped me clean up a bit. thing is...

I -am- making a definite effort, here, this time around. I must (1st off), 2ndly...as a Christian, now, I"m not going to live in barely contained filth. Never again. OK, so...

you hear "severe mental illness," you think "symptoms"--voices, paranoia, agitation, mania, what have you. you don't think...deficits, deficits that (thank to The Lord's work in my life, largely thru my parents...) might be fix-able.

The place was clean enough, even for my parents. But there was more to do. My attention span is improving, my mood is improving, my social skills are improving. I'm blessed beyond measure! Learning how to do "real world" stuff as a New Creation in Christ Jesus is...

another great blessing!

I need to watch my coffee drippings, lol. Seriously. I don't know what genius decided to make the tiny kitchen over 90% blindingly white, but...that stuff shows up, big time. I was oblivious, lol. :-(

OK. Thanks for the prayers and support, y'all. God is good!

 

[Razeontherock]

Coffee cleaners: coffee's weird in that usually it will clean, but sometimes can stain. Acid-side cleaners work best, the most commonly available being distilled white vinegar.

Self-publishing: the easiest way to spot a scam (and they do exist) is the initial cash outlay they ask for. So you're safe there.

The advantage of getting published by a recognized publisher is sales. You get exposure through their established distribution channels, which you won't have winging it on your own. So it's still a good goal, even if the way that business works now is by proving yourself first via self publishing.

 

[Christ_empowered]

thanks. its..interesting...one always thinks that psych drugs, especially the tranquilizers/"antipsychotics" kill creativity. They certainly can, but I seem to write better, more on topic and on target, with a moderate dose of the Abilify. Curious...

thanks for all the input. The coffee marks are looking better w/ some spic+span treatment. always a good thing. I was thinking maybe next time some diluted lemon juice might be useful, not to mention...not as chemical-laden, etc.

Verna says that God opens the doors that -are- for His children, and closes the ones that -aren't-, and I think maybe I'm seeing a bit of that. The 1st apt. complex my parents tried to get me in at was nice enough--1 story, 1 bedrooms, plenty of space, etc. --and I'd been approved (parents are now "well-to-do"), but then some management guy called me...from his -personal cell phone-, no less--and ripped into me. I mean, it was rough. On the plus side, I"m thinking the conviction I had (have?) is no longer showing up, because he brought up some minor non-conviction thing, but he didn't say anything about a criminal record. It would have been a gray area, anyway...started as a felony, was reduced to a very serious misdemeanor...but, yeah...point is: this place is better, and probably a lot better -for me- than that place would have been. So...I"m thinking...

The Lord has things for me to do, a work in this world for me to do, even. Writing is probably (assuming I can make any $$$ off of it) a better "deal" for me, anyway, definitely better than trying to enter the rat race at 34, with all the labels and stigma, etc. God is good! I pray for His perfect will for my life.