I Can't Help But Think...

[Luminous_Rose]

That I'm not going to live all that long on this earth I have the feeling from time to time...but even more so lately. I was hospitalized on Monday...I can't keep doing this ....I mean, I'm not too terribly old or too terribly young, but I want to see my kids grow up and maybe even be a grandparent one day. Perhaps I'll look back on this post 40 years from now and laugh that God kept me around so long...I don't know. I keep having health problems, my husband keeps having health problems...I can't help but have a bleak outlook right now. I can't even recall when the last time I really sat and read my Bible was, either. Life has just been go, go, go, go lately and now I'm paying the hefty price for pressing myself so strenuously. Same goes for my husband. Recovery hasn't been looking too nice, either.

Someone give me some good news

 

[Classik]

Proclaim the World of The Lord: trust that The Lord is our ever present help... even though it appears man can't help.

Ps. 46 summarises it all.

I wish I could do the rest on pm

 

[Adoration]

I was going to take a breather today... but I saw this post and my heart felt the urgency to reply.

I have also felt many times as though my life on earth is near end... I have actually prayed that this be so.... as there is nothing on earth that interests me or motivates me... My entire eggs are placed in the basket of HEAVEN.

With that said... I am still here... and rather than fret about that fact... I am learning to take life moment by moment... and try to STAY in those moments.. ENJOY those moments... PRAISE GOD in those moments... and be GRATEFUL in those moments. For the most part... I live in PEACE... and am in a state of REST.... simply knowing and believing that GOD has me by His right hand.

Like you there have been many times where I have been dry... so dry that I felt I would surely drown in the darkness of sudden doubt.... but God has always APPEARED and made HIS presence felt to me.

Life.... YOUR precious life... is in HIS HANDS... the challenge is to shut out the NOISE of the world... and sadly... this noise is perhaps the loudest right now from other Christians... who instead of judging and condemning... should be coming BESIDE and encouraging and exhorting each other.

These are tough times all around.. with just this pandemic... let alone all the other realities that STILL happen on a daily basis.

Be STILL and KNOW that HE is GOD.... HE will cover you with a peace that surpasses understanding as well as a quiet joy.

Tenderly.... Your sister in Christ... Addy

 

[Adoration]

 

[Adoration]

For my Saviour Loves me so... He will hold me fast...
Those He saves are HIS DELIGHT... He will hold me fast.

Please know that I will be taking your heart with me to the waterfront as I spend the day at the lake... I shall sing over you.... and proclaim the AMAZING promises of CHRIST to your thirsty and weary spirit... Remember... a bruised reed HE will NOT crush...

REST in HIM... HE will re-charge you...

 

[Tessa]

Luminous The Lord iis there with you, trustHim. He is faithful, holy, and powerful. There is nothing He cannot do. Cling on to Him and do not let go.
What happened that hou had to be hospitiaised? Are you still in hospital? You are a strong woman of God. Try to think of beautiful things. Listening to hymns always helps me.
Cry out to God, even if you are weeping. You know He is there for you. You can do it Luminous, I know you can. Hope is wonderful.
Praying for you.

 

[WIP]

That I'm not going to live all that long on this earth I have the feeling from time to time...but even more so lately. I was hospitalized on Monday...I can't keep doing this ....I mean, I'm not too terribly old or too terribly young, but I want to see my kids grow up and maybe even be a grandparent one day. Perhaps I'll look back on this post 40 years from now and laugh that God kept me around so long...I don't know. I keep having health problems, my husband keeps having health problems...I can't help but have a bleak outlook right now. I can't even recall when the last time I really sat and read my Bible was, either. Life has just been go, go, go, go lately and now I'm paying the hefty price for pressing myself so strenuously. Same goes for my husband. Recovery hasn't been looking too nice, either.

Someone give me some good news

None of us live very long on this earth. What's 70, 80, 100, 110, or even 900 years relative to eternity?

 

[Luminous_Rose]

Luminous The Lord iis there with you, trustHim. He is faithful, holy, and powerful. There is nothing He cannot do. Cling on to Him and do not let go.
What happened that hou had to be hospitiaised? Are you still in hospital? You are a strong woman of God. Try to think of beautiful things. Listening to hymns always helps me.
Cry out to God, even if you are weeping. You know He is there for you. You can do it Luminous, I know you can. Hope is wonderful.
Praying for you.

I'm not going to go over it all on the forum, but I ended up sick once again and that messed with my underlying health condition. Being in the hospital is all a haze now, I barely remember it. I wasn't doing well at all. They discharged me the same day after a few hours, but it's been tiring since.

They let me go home the same day, but then my parents came over and watched over me while my husband went to work. I'm so grateful to them and how they've cared for me over the years, even in my adult life.

 

[Luminous_Rose]

None of us live very long on this earth. What's 70, 80, 100, 110, or even 900 years relative to eternity?

I don't know. I'd just like to be here to see my kid's grow up. I'd never want my kids to have to grow up without a mother...

 

[Tessa]

Sorry you are going through all this. You have been having a hard time lately. Things can turn tight around and the sun will shine down on you.
Will be prayimg for you.

 

[Luminous_Rose]

Gotta love how it all just keeps getting worse. The cat ran out when we were all coming back inside with groceries this evening...didn't think much of it. It had been raining and she hates getting wet so I figured she'd come back soon. Called her and she didn't come so I figured I'd go inside and she may come by in a bit. She definitely did eventually, but it seems she has somehow injured her back. She can't seem to clean her shoulder. With everything going on, it's just icing on the cake...I don't know what to tell my kid's if it's so severe enough that she'll need expensive treatment...that we can't afford

 

[Tessa]

Could it be her shoulder she has hurt Luminous? Or even her neck?
She could have a thorn somewhere. There are quite a lot of things it could be. Even a grass seed in her ear. It could be anything. I hope it is nothing serious. If she is walking ok it may not be her back.
Let us know how she goes on.
I'm going to pray for her.

 

[GodsGrace]

Gotta love how it all just keeps getting worse. The cat ran out when we were all coming back inside with groceries this evening...didn't think much of it. It had been raining and she hates getting wet so I figured she'd come back soon. Called her and she didn't come so I figured I'd go inside and she may come by in a bit. She definitely did eventually, but it seems she has somehow injured her back. She can't seem to clean her shoulder. With everything going on, it's just icing on the cake...I don't know what to tell my kid's if it's so severe enough that she'll need expensive treatment...that we can't afford

You're bunching things together. This is the worst thing to do.
We have to think of each occurrence as separate and treat it individually.
And don't think I don't know what I'm talking about....
Most days are good but we just don't notice them...we just notice those that are not good.
I was much more affected by problems (physical) when I was young and raising children than now...
I'm healthier now.
So be hopeful....Life isn't over till it's over and health could change and actually get better.
And cats...90% of the time they heal on their own....
Keep us posted as to his condition....
One day at a time, sweet Jesus,
That's all I'm asking of You....

 

[Luminous_Rose]

Could it be her shoulder she has hurt Luminous? Or even her neck?
She could have a thorn somewhere. There are quite a lot of things it could be. Even a grass seed in her ear. It could be anything. I hope it is nothing serious. If she is walking ok it may not be her back.
Let us know how she goes on.
I'm going to pray for her.

I have no idea what happened to her. She came in and was soaking wet and her fur was a mess. I wrapped her in a towel to dry her off. When I was holding her like a baby, she was fine and looked like she wanted to fall asleep, but then I moved slightly and she tried to bite me. I set her down and then picked the towel up when she moved out of it. When I tried to pet her back it felt like a bunch of loose pieces on her spine between her shoulder blades...it was a bizarre feeling. Not sure what I was feeling there, but it worries me. She could turn her neck, but couldn't lick her shoulder or side. She keeps hiding, which is of course normal when cats are in pain. She's been hiding out under my bed, sleeping on her side. She can stand up, but sits kind of awkwardly. She seems like she wants to move, but it takes her a few tries to get going.

I'm kind of wondering if she jumped up on something that was wet and slipped off and hit her back or if a neighborhood dog tried to grab a hold of her or if she freaked out and squeezed into somewhere out of panic and hurt herself. I heard a lot of banging outside that kept going on for a while before I called her in. Never know when someone might've tried to hurt her, hit her with their bike or something, etc. I don't know. I don't even know how I'm going to get her to the vet. My husband has to work tomorrow and I can't take the kids with me to the vet if I can manage a ride because of COVID protocols...I don't know.

 

[Luminous_Rose]

You're bunching things together. This is the worst thing to do.
We have to think of each occurrence as separate and treat it individually.
And don't think I don't know what I'm talking about....
Most days are good but we just don't notice them...we just notice those that are not good.
I was much more affected by problems (physical) when I was young and raising children than now...
I'm healthier now.
So be hopeful....Life isn't over till it's over and health could change and actually get better.
And cats...90% of the time they heal on their own....
Keep us posted as to his condition....
One day at a time, sweet Jesus,
That's all I'm asking of You....

Oh, right...bunching things together...that happen at the same time coincidentally. How can I not? Two young people in my town are needlessly murdered, my friend's dear young dog suddenly passes away, a woman that went to a mall I used to go to all the time in the city leavers her 7 month old in the car to die when it's over 100 degrees outside, I find out that someone I used to go to high school with lost her husband unexpectedly and suddenly, I have a medical flare up last week that puts me in the hospital and leaves me with pretty much 0 independence and unwanted side effects, and another medical scare last night that freaked out my husband enough to not go to work yesterday...we can't afford this. Now I need to take my injured cat to the vet and am not sure how I'm gonna get her there. Life stinks right now. Bluntly put.

So, if you were in my shoes with all this going on - what would you do? Am I really just bunching it together? Am I mistaken to throw so much grief into the pot if it's actually happening right now? How do I separate it individually and treat all this grief and loss all at once?

 

[Tessa]

I have no idea what happened to her. She came in and was soaking wet and her fur was a mess. I wrapped her in a towel to dry her off. When I was holding her like a baby, she was fine and looked like she wanted to fall asleep, but then I moved slightly and she tried to bite me. I set her down and then picked the towel up when she moved out of it. When I tried to pet her back it felt like a bunch of loose pieces on her spine between her shoulder blades...it was a bizarre feeling. Not sure what I was feeling there, but it worries me. She could turn her neck, but couldn't lick her shoulder or side. She keeps hiding, which is of course normal when cats are in pain. She's been hiding out under my bed, sleeping on her side. She can stand up, but sits kind of awkwardly. She seems like she wants to move, but it takes her a few tries to get going.

I'm kind of wondering if she jumped up on something that was wet and slipped off and hit her back or if a neighborhood dog tried to grab a hold of her or if she freaked out and squeezed into somewhere out of panic and hurt herself. I heard a lot of banging outside that kept going on for a while before I called her in. Never know when someone might've tried to hurt her, hit her with their bike or something, etc. I don't know. I don't even know how I'm going to get her to the vet. My husband has to work tomorrow and I can't take the kids with me to the vet if I can manage a ride because of COVID protocols...I don't know.

I would try to get a ride to the vet if you can Luminous. If you can't you could phone a vet for advice. Is there an animal charity that could help with the financial side?
Failing all that, one of the first forums I ever joined was an American cat one.
Website https://thecatsite.com
They have a health section there. They used to have a couple of verses on it, but I don't know if they are still there. If the best are not there they have very experienced members, who will give you advice. I learned such a lot from them.
Explain it to them exactly as you have done here.
Please let us know how you go on.

 

[Tessa]

Oh, right...bunching things together...that happen at the same time coincidentally. How can I not? Two young people in my town are needlessly murdered, my friend's dear young dog suddenly passes away, a woman that went to a mall I used to go to all the time in the city leavers her 7 month old in the car to die when it's over 100 degrees outside, I find out that someone I used to go to high school with lost her husband unexpectedly and suddenly, I have a medical flare up last week that puts me in the hospital and leaves me with pretty much 0 independence and unwanted side effects, and another medical scare last night that freaked out my husband enough to not go to work yesterday...we can't afford this. Now I need to take my injured cat to the vet and am not sure how I'm gonna get her there. Life stinks right now. Bluntly put.

So, if you were in my shoes with all this going on - what would you do? Am I really just bunching it together? Am I mistaken to throw so much grief into the pot if it's actually happening right now? How do I separate it individually and treat all this grief and loss all at once?

Take heart, there is an end to everything. I am praying for you every day. Thimgs will change.

 

[GodsGrace]

Oh, right...bunching things together...that happen at the same time coincidentally. How can I not? Two young people in my town are needlessly murdered, my friend's dear young dog suddenly passes away, a woman that went to a mall I used to go to all the time in the city leavers her 7 month old in the car to die when it's over 100 degrees outside, I find out that someone I used to go to high school with lost her husband unexpectedly and suddenly, I have a medical flare up last week that puts me in the hospital and leaves me with pretty much 0 independence and unwanted side effects, and another medical scare last night that freaked out my husband enough to not go to work yesterday...we can't afford this. Now I need to take my injured cat to the vet and am not sure how I'm gonna get her there. Life stinks right now. Bluntly put.

So, if you were in my shoes with all this going on - what would you do? Am I really just bunching it together? Am I mistaken to throw so much grief into the pot if it's actually happening right now? How do I separate it individually and treat all this grief and loss all at once?

Yes. The above proves what you're doing.
In my most humble opinion, you have a low grade depression.

The only problem you're having is your health issues....the rest is life. Life happens.

If I were in your shoes?
One day you might be in my shoes, and you'll wish you had this time that is so sad right now, back again.

Thank God for what you have.
If you need help with the vet, let me know.

 

[Luminous_Rose]

I would try to get a ride to the vet if you can Luminous. If you can't you could phone a vet for advice. Is there an animal charity that could help with the financial side?
Failing all that, one of the first forums I ever joined was an American cat one.
Website https://thecatsite.com
They have a health section there. They used to have a couple of verses on it, but I don't know if they are still there. If the best are not there they have very experienced members, who will give you advice. I learned such a lot from them.
Explain it to them exactly as you have done here.
Please let us know how you go on.

There's no one that can take me to the vet today. Everyone is working, busy, or have already helped me so much this week that I can't bear to ask them for a ride because that would mean they would have to watch the kids, too...

I could set up a GiveSendGo/GoFundMe, I guess, but I have Care Credit, which most vets will take. I hate to dig into debt right now, but would feel better if I knew the exact problem with the cat. Already know it'll probably be about $400 or so for one x-ray. Not sure how successful the campaign would be, though. Sometimes they just don't take off without some amazing story. I don't know of any animal charities in the area that could help.

Helping my cat today, feeding her and I had to lift her into the litter box as carefully as possible. It feels like her ribs are broken. She can breathe and is mostly hiding and sleeping, but glad that she ate and used the litter box at least.

Thanks for the link. I will try to check it out in a bit if I can. Seems like a storm has rolled in.

It looks like so far we're going to have to get her into a 24 hour vet tonight, but they're like an hour and ten minutes away...but at least my husband could sit in the car with the kids while they help figure out what's wrong. Maybe we can come up with enough for a hotel or something if we have to...The vets here don't have any openings until tomorrow afternoon, but my husband has to work late today and tomorrow because he has to make up for lost time when he stayed home to take care of me hopefully I will hear from my husband soon to see if he's up for it because we probably won't get back until really late tonight and he needs sleep...

 

[Luminous_Rose]

Yes. The above proves what you're doing.
In my most humble opinion, you have a low grade depression.

The only problem you're having is your health issues....the rest is life. Life happens.

If I were in your shoes?
One day you might be in my shoes, and you'll wish you had this time that is so sad right now, back again.

Thank God for what you have.
If you need help with the vet, let me know.

Wow! Are you a certified therapist?!