I desperately need some advice very badly

[Mike]

Riniel, you're a beautiful lady with an even more beautiful heart for the Lord. I know it can ring hollow when people make flippant remarks that you just have to be patient (not that anyone did that here), but Dora's story is something that should be taken to heart. I just caught up with this thread, and I was glad to see all the red flags I was seeing addressed. I was more glad to see you settle on the right decision.

No one can promise that you will find your soul mate, but we can be more certain that a bad decision will make being alone feel like a walk in a meadow.

Keep being true. You were wonderfully Created.

 

[Riniel]

Riniel, you're a beautiful lady with an even more beautiful heart for the Lord. I know it can ring hollow when people make flippant remarks that you just have to be patient (not that anyone did that here), but Dora's story is something that should be taken to heart. I just caught up with this thread, and I was glad to see all the red flags I was seeing addressed. I was more glad to see you settle on the right decision.

No one can promise that you will find your soul mate, but we can be more certain that a bad decision will make being alone feel like a walk in a meadow.

Keep being true. You were wonderfully Created.

Mike, that is a very sweet thing to say! I really appreciate your kind words, and words of encouragement.

I don't really have an issue being single, and patient while I wait for the right one to come into my life. I've been single for 7 1/2 years already, and I've lived without having a boyfriend for so long, that the loneliness can be very high, but at this point I'm so used to it that I try not to think about it.

I know that if I don't feel 100% positive about a man, I will not marry him. I could feel 99.9% sure, but still have that tiny speck of doubt, and I won't marry him. I have to have a sign from God that whoever I marry is the right one for me. I don't believe in divorce, so that is why I need to be completely, undoubtedly positive that whoever I marry is blessed by God.

This guy Daniel won't leave me alone, and I haven't been talking to him, but I got so fed up with him texting me and emailing me that I emailed him and asked him to please stop contacting me. If he says one more thing to me, I am calling the police and reporting him for harassment. I've asked him twice now to leave me alone, and move on, because I'm not interested.

 

[duari91]

Mike, that is a very sweet thing to say! I really appreciate your kind words, and words of encouragement.

I don't really have an issue being single, and patient while I wait for the right one to come into my life. I've been single for 7 1/2 years already, and I've lived without having a boyfriend for so long, that the loneliness can be very high, but at this point I'm so used to it that I try not to think about it.

I know that if I don't feel 100% positive about a man, I will not marry him. I could feel 99.9% sure, but still have that tiny speck of doubt, and I won't marry him. I have to have a sign from God that whoever I marry is the right one for me. I don't believe in divorce, so that is why I need to be completely, undoubtedly positive that whoever I marry is blessed by God.

This guy Daniel won't leave me alone, and I haven't been talking to him, but I got so fed up with him texting me and emailing me that I emailed him and asked him to please stop contacting me. If he says one more thing to me, I am calling the police and reporting him for harassment. I've asked him twice now to leave me alone, and move on, because I'm not interested.

You experienced what anyone would call a nightmare! You will find someone when you are ready. Obviously, God is with you to protect you from making any hasty decisions on anyone. Obviously this guy you dated isn't that special one. Lucky for you, God has made it very clear for you.

Some guys are just creeps, and it sounds like thats what we have here. Don't hesitate to defend yourself.

Keep looking, God will bless you with your special someone.

 

[stormcloud]

6 kids, Ex-wife has custody. the kids aren't a big part of his life...

I wouldn't let this part necessarily be a red flag. Having been through divorce, I've seen the system up close and personal. The mother automatically has preference for custody and the only time a father gets custody is if the mother willingly allows it or is deemed unfit (which is extremely expensive to prove). In addition, it's a common tactic for divorcing women to use false accusations to get a domestic protection order to further their advantage in terms of custody. Once a mother has even primary custody, she's free to move wherever she wants and can make visitation for the father as difficult as she wants to until he's been worn down and gives up.

I'm not saying any of this has happened in this case, just that a father not having custody of his children and/or having limited contact with them, is a very unreliable factor to take into consideration in determining his character.

 

[stormcloud]

Riniel

It does sound like he hasn't actually healed from his first marriage if he's pushing the relationship that fast right off the bat. You're right to break it off because his mindset, at this point, isn't where it would need to be for a healthy relationship let alone a marriage. As for "getting rid" of him, all you can do is bluntly tell him that you're just not a match (just that, no need to elaborate) and ask him to move on. If he persists, don't respond. If that doesn't work, then you may have to seek legal action.
As others have said, be patient about finding the right man, and trust in God's timing. It is a possibility that God's plan for you may not include marriage (but you still have a long life to live so don't waste sleep on that possibility), but either way, you can rest assured that whatever His plan for you is, it'll be what's best for you.

 

[don(MI)]

Just read this thread, and I normally don't frequent this forum much.

Wow, sounds like God did answer your prayers, thats for sure.

I think sometimes, we try to make our own paths, and they may not be what God wants for us. Obviously, He answered your prayers.

I know from my own experiences right now, AND the fustration of NOT finding a Christian woman, how much it does hurt. Right now, I am attending a Christian camp that holds many people. So far, God has not opened a door all the way for me to find the right girl! I am very dissapointed, but still praisin the Lord for everything I do have. (awesome worship time with so many great people).

I guess I took the time to write this to say, don't give up. After 4 years of not having a GF and being 26, I understand the lonely part. But if we give up, we will miss way too much on what God has to offer us later in life!!

Keep your chin up!!