[__ Prayer __] i need a social life

[Christ_empowered]

Its hard, because lots of people around here despise me. I mean, I gotta get over it. The Lord has moved in my life in such a way that I'm in touch with Reality, smart, healthy, increasingly normal, and protected by loving people who have the time, money, and inclination to help me recover and stay in society. Good stuff.

Christians around here condemned me just as surely as the people in and of the world did. I can't let that stop me from going to church, of course, but...lesson learned: Christians are people too, and some of us aren't very good people, either.

Anyway, I'm sick of spending all this time alone. At 30, nearly 31, I'm actually--gasp--growing up. I shouldn't even be alive, I mean, the way things usually work go in this world.

I have 1 remaining un-believer friend around here. I get the sense that she's on a slow, gradual path to the Truth, but I could be wrong. Anyway, she's kind, her dad is a brilliant professor w/ severe bipolar, so she gets the mental probs and I think she's happy because I'm not the obviously brain damaged, oafish dude she used to put up with, way back when. We can actually have good conversations, watch movies, that kinda thing.

I do need to get into church. Maybe I've been too hard on the mega church my dad goes to? I dunno. Its just so overwhelmingly huge and loud and...I dunno. I do like some positions the dude has taken, now that I've actually read their website and blog. Like, his approach to gay marriage...its coming, be kind to gay people and meet people where they're at. I like that approach, especially around here, where everybody seems so rabidly conservative.

I need friends, but...I'm 30, 31. People have coupled up and made babies by now, lol. I talked to my (fortunately, Born Again, masters divinity) counselor, and he brought up a few points. I am not quite at 30-31 in terms of maturation...boo! Plus side, I don't look quite 30-31, so The Lord has been good to me in that respect (welcome change from looking 29 at 20, trust me). Even if I go to church, won't the 30-somethings be in new parents and couples classes? Uggggghhhhh....and I'm a celibate homogay. With mental problems and terrible rep. To complicate things...I'm a bit crazy, but I'm smart and have "comfortable" people taking care of me, so I'm like...this free range, homogay, Born Again ne'er do well. Oh, and I messed with my shrinks, so I'm considered "uppity." Yes, its The Bible Belt, lol. Uppity, crazy queers...not exactly popular.

But I feel ready to be in church. Until fairly recently, I didn't really belong in society, not really. Even my face was kind weird (I had girly features, lol). Now...I mean, I'm n-o-r-m-a-l to the point that I can actually be in society and its not too big an issue, except for my terrible rep and the fact that I kinda do whatever I want to all day, which bothers people (but not my parents, which is good).

Ugh. Maybe just go with the flow and go to the mega church? I mean, they do reach a lot of people. My dad's into them, so it'd be a nice bonding experience. Maybe we can join...what are those called..."cell groups" or something? Ugh. The downside is that each member is called a "part owner," like its a corporation or something. I don't know how I feel about that...then again, I was raised by hippies.

A number of you have made clear that you keep me up in prayer, which is most appreciated. I'm praying for people on here, too, which is a big change from when I had some kinda weird only child syndrome with God. Anyway....I praise God for saving me from everything, even myself, and for bringing me this far. I also pray for some social interaction and maturation, maybe a friend or two.

Thanks.

 

[Eugene]

Pro 18:24 A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend (Jesus) that sticketh closer than a brother.
Is there the possibility of doing volunteer work to not only help others, but learning to become social? I've heard testimonies of some that have benefited is such ways.

 

[Brother Mike]

Be led on what church you attended. Go to the one that is right in your heart the most. Great churches, do not mean great for you.

Mega Church's are good if you are there to learn. Sometimes, they are not so good when you need interaction, or feel you need noticed.

I go to what some would consider a big Church. We reach millions online, TV every week. People are very nice, they talk to you, but most of them have their own lives, are successful, and unless you find a "Click" or group that will let you in, then you can feel pretty alone.

Also, I don't have direct access to my Pastor. You just don't walk up to our Pastor after service, nobody does. Lot's of Mega Churches are like this and for good reason.

When problems come up, I just put on something my Pastor taught on, and get in the Word. I don't need to go around asking for prayer, My Father in Heaven hears me good enough and I have had to stand on scriptures now for 17 years. I go to church to learn, not turn it into a social event.

A very big complaint I get about my church is that there is no direct access to help. Some people have yet to learn not to pull on others, and trust in the Lord and what is taught. One women who was going through a bad marriage felt that she did not get the support she needed, though she did get advice. I hear that all the time as some folks are needy, and need to be seen and made to feel important.

A small church, everyone will get to know you, you most likely will have access to the Pastor, and it can feel more family like. Someone always wanting prayer for this or that all the time, might find a smaller church a better fit for their needs. You also might get to feel that your part of something, and not another warm body sitting in the pew's.

Our church has groups and family fellowships. We have teams like Parking lot team. All the groups though are just with people in that group. They still have this corporate feeling to them though, like you be this way, to fit in that group or team.

Just be led, follow the peace in your heart for the right one.

 

[Eugene]

Hey Christ_empowered, that parking lot job in a mega church seems great. You can feel important, not have to listen to a sermon from someone that can’t be talked to, and maybe even work with those same rules of no talk to you; just follow your hand signals and some sign you could set up offering advice for them that are not allowed to ask for it. Eventually it might become a parking lot ministry somewhat like the old brush harbor meetings that just met to worship and honor God.

 

[Christ_empowered]

I don't wanna feel important, I just wanna get to know people. That and the sheer size of the mega church is...wow. I grew up in a little PCUSA church, got saved at Teen Challenge visiting little AoG churches, so...yeah. On the other hand, now that I think about it, the anonymity factor is probably in my favor, since I'm kind of a pariah. Easier to blend in around 5,000 or so people, lol.

 

[Brother Mike]

Hey Christ_empowered, that parking lot job in a mega church seems great. You can feel important, not have to listen to a sermon from someone that can’t be talked to, and maybe even work with those same rules of no talk to you; just follow your hand signals and some sign you could set up offering advice for them that are not allowed to ask for it. Eventually it might become a parking lot ministry somewhat like the old brush harbor meetings that just met to worship and honor God.

This is true, our Parking Lot team is like a family in itself. My son was faithful there, never missed a day, worked 16 hour days every time Copeland can with his crews. Cold, Hot, he was there.

He goes to work one Sunday and the Parking team chipped in and bought him a truck. They help each other with food, and other folks on the team have been given vehicles, money and other things they need. In a big church that teaches tithing and giving, you stand a better chance for folks to be more receptive to the Holy Spirit to let them know someone has a need.

More than once folks have handed me 100.00, and I did not even know them. One time I asked God for some money to sow, and some guy right before offering handed me a 100.00 and told me the Lord heard me about wanting something to give. Pretty amazing how thT works, and I dropped the 100.00 into the offering.

Still, small churches have other benefits also. I use to pastor a church that had about 50 people, and we did lots of things together on a more constant basis. We all knew each other, and everyone was for everyone else. The money flow might have not been so great, I never did teach tithing or anything on giving, but it felt more family like. I also had lots of time to spend with all the folks that went to the church, same stuff, same prayer, but it's what they needed from someone with the title Pastor. God forbid they should listen to what I taught on trusting God for anything, nope, had to have me pray directly and talk with them directly.

As I said though, each Body has a function, is more right for someone that other bodies at their stage of growth and what the Lord wants to work on. We don't pick churches based on our comfort zone, we go to the ones we feel "led" to or the one that just "Seems" right inside.

Always try to avoid putting choices on a scale to weigh the good and bad. The devil will step in and help add weights to both sides. Follow the peace in your heart, not based on physical information, and that works with everything your trying to get direction from the Lord on.

 

[jack K]

Hi CE

I say go for it, maybe you would enjoy it or maybe you would not but you don't have anything to lose. There is no harm in trying, with so many people attending the church you bound to meet somebody who you could interact with. You already have something in common with all of them and that is belief in God.

 

[Deborah13]

Even if I go to church, won't the 30-somethings be in new parents and couples classes?

Nope. There are young people, who just like you, who have recently become believers, have never been married, and have not met anyone that they could marry. You are more likely to find these people, in greater numbers, in a larger congregation.
Some people are not called into marriage at all but they have friends, even among the married ones.

 

[AirDancer]

I agree with Deborah13 that there are many young people who are single, just like you. And you will find there are more of them in a large church as opposed to a small one.

I see more benefit at this time for you to accompany your Dad to the church he's attending. Not only will you be strengthening your Dad by attending with him, but the time the two of you spend together will be priceless.