[__ Prayer __] I sense...hatred?!?!

[Christ_empowered]

or at least contempt. :-(

parents had to call the hoa. upstairs neighbors have a leak, again...and it seems its probably been untended, again...and they're probably aware of it, again. and this time...

this time, the ceiling in the bathroom I use will probably have to be replaced. -not fun- I mean...I'm thankful that Jesus watched out for me, so I got my dad over here to check things out before things got crazy, dramatic bad...and I'm thankful that they're on good terms with the HOA, because...wow, yeah. just...not fun. the people upstairs rent, I think...so the issue of who will pay for it will be a potential source of friction, again. :-(

ok. so, I was awakened 2 or 3 times last night, to be people taunting and such outside and upstairs, and...yeah. -what fun- I don't actually have any contact with my neighbors...one neighbor occasionally waves and chats me up for a minute, just...I guess what little is left of southern culture, right there?...but other than that...I offer up a wave and a smile, maybe 3 out of 4 times I get something positive back. not bad, all things considered, just...

yeah. the taunts and ridicule and bullying at 2, 3, 4 AM...again. on the plus side, I'm getting new outdoor cameras. --eek-- not ideal, but...what to do? thankfully, the mix of technology and "the market" have driven prices for such things down a good bit, so...yeah. -not a huge issue- , thank goodness.

I dunno. I do think people had been -inside- my apartment, and I also think they took things, more than once. all the more reason to be extra-extra-grateful for my security system. its not super deluxe, but it does offer monitoring (yes, please) and one can add extras (smoke detectors, basics like that, along with reasonably priced cameras, etc.), so...yes, please. it just got too, too intense, like when a coffee maker I got on sale and was excited about (hot -or- iced coffee! single cup all the way up to a half pot! 2 year warranty!) went MIA and...

yeah, its gone. done.

Right now, I have a "record..." Class A misdemeanor. Different states do these things differently...where I live, Class A is the most serious misdemeanor, and they carry a max of 3 years in prison. no, really. -strange laws down here, y'all- and so...

"he has a FELONY! he cannot LIVE HERE!" on and on and on. Truth? I pled guilty to the reduced charge over 8 years ago, now. The original charges = a max of 15 years. It was, in fact, -that bad- . -eek- thankfully...lawyer, bonded out, got saved on bond (that's the big, big, big thing...) and then...

-plea deal- its the American way, and mine seemed something of a miracle for my parents and me.

but yeah...hatred. waxes and wanes. right now? waxing?! but why? I really don't...understand. I also don't understand people insisting that I have a felony. The HOA has background checks on everyone who lives here...owner, renter, family member of owner, doesn't matter. background check. its...required. I did a background check on myself, thru the state law enforcement agency, and...

yup. it literally says, right on the rap sheet, "Class A -misdemeanor- ," so its not as if this is someone misunderstanding the official record or anything. deliberate slander? I dunno. I honestly think Jesus had mercy on me (ongoing, thank goodness) and made a way for me to be corrected, but not destroyed. So, maybe this would fall under "..speak all matter of evil against you, falsely...," 9+ years into knowing The Lord? and...

I was extra- well-behaved on probation. released (successfully!) 2 years early. No arrests while on probation, none since, so I haven't had an arrest or even a traffic ticket in over 9 years, now. and so....

I dunno. just so, so, so intense, at times. "call the Treatment Advocacy Center! He needs to be committed to the state hospital!," junk like that. (the TAC is run by this hardcore psychiatrist who calls mental illnesses "brain diseases" and insists that all the "severely mentally ill" need the most controlling, draconian "treatment" -ever- ... I'm actually in ongoing, voluntary outpatient treatment, med checks and counseling...I don't understand what all of this is about?) and...

yeah, rambling. hatred, contempt, "he needs to -move out- " and "he needs to move to (group home, subsidized housing)!" and/or "he needs to be in the state hospital!," and...

rambling. less afraid than in times past (even recently past), but...concerned, I suppose? I don't want never ending friction and/or drama, etc., and...

I don't even know most people around here. I literally wave and people and offer up a friendly smile. That is truly the extent of it. It...bothers me.

OK. Please pray for my parents and me. Thanks.

 

[Who Me]

Again I amco corned by your isolation from Christians.
You have the opportunity to be a part of a Christian church, serving in some small way and being served.
You would also have respectable members of the community who would support you in dealing with the police etc to reduce the incidence of people being outside your home.

 

[Prycejosh1987]

Hatred is something i have never felt before. I get irritated but not hateful even when i am hated myself. A pure heart is a must have for spiritual growth, we must maintain the heart and also keep our minds clean to maintain spirituality in Christ. Christianity is the only faith that teaches this.

 

[daninthelionsden]

or at least contempt. :-(

parents had to call the hoa. upstairs neighbors have a leak, again...and it seems its probably been untended, again...and they're probably aware of it, again. and this time...

this time, the ceiling in the bathroom I use will probably have to be replaced. -not fun- I mean...I'm thankful that Jesus watched out for me, so I got my dad over here to check things out before things got crazy, dramatic bad...and I'm thankful that they're on good terms with the HOA, because...wow, yeah. just...not fun. the people upstairs rent, I think...so the issue of who will pay for it will be a potential source of friction, again. :-(

ok. so, I was awakened 2 or 3 times last night, to be people taunting and such outside and upstairs, and...yeah. -what fun- I don't actually have any contact with my neighbors...one neighbor occasionally waves and chats me up for a minute, just...I guess what little is left of southern culture, right there?...but other than that...I offer up a wave and a smile, maybe 3 out of 4 times I get something positive back. not bad, all things considered, just...

yeah. the taunts and ridicule and bullying at 2, 3, 4 AM...again. on the plus side, I'm getting new outdoor cameras. --eek-- not ideal, but...what to do? thankfully, the mix of technology and "the market" have driven prices for such things down a good bit, so...yeah. -not a huge issue- , thank goodness.

I dunno. I do think people had been -inside- my apartment, and I also think they took things, more than once. all the more reason to be extra-extra-grateful for my security system. its not super deluxe, but it does offer monitoring (yes, please) and one can add extras (smoke detectors, basics like that, along with reasonably priced cameras, etc.), so...yes, please. it just got too, too intense, like when a coffee maker I got on sale and was excited about (hot -or- iced coffee! single cup all the way up to a half pot! 2 year warranty!) went MIA and...

yeah, its gone. done.

Right now, I have a "record..." Class A misdemeanor. Different states do these things differently...where I live, Class A is the most serious misdemeanor, and they carry a max of 3 years in prison. no, really. -strange laws down here, y'all- and so...

"he has a FELONY! he cannot LIVE HERE!" on and on and on. Truth? I pled guilty to the reduced charge over 8 years ago, now. The original charges = a max of 15 years. It was, in fact, -that bad- . -eek- thankfully...lawyer, bonded out, got saved on bond (that's the big, big, big thing...) and then...

-plea deal- its the American way, and mine seemed something of a miracle for my parents and me.

but yeah...hatred. waxes and wanes. right now? waxing?! but why? I really don't...understand. I also don't understand people insisting that I have a felony. The HOA has background checks on everyone who lives here...owner, renter, family member of owner, doesn't matter. background check. its...required. I did a background check on myself, thru the state law enforcement agency, and...

yup. it literally says, right on the rap sheet, "Class A -misdemeanor- ," so its not as if this is someone misunderstanding the official record or anything. deliberate slander? I dunno. I honestly think Jesus had mercy on me (ongoing, thank goodness) and made a way for me to be corrected, but not destroyed. So, maybe this would fall under "..speak all matter of evil against you, falsely...," 9+ years into knowing The Lord? and...

I was extra- well-behaved on probation. released (successfully!) 2 years early. No arrests while on probation, none since, so I haven't had an arrest or even a traffic ticket in over 9 years, now. and so....

I dunno. just so, so, so intense, at times. "call the Treatment Advocacy Center! He needs to be committed to the state hospital!," junk like that. (the TAC is run by this hardcore psychiatrist who calls mental illnesses "brain diseases" and insists that all the "severely mentally ill" need the most controlling, draconian "treatment" -ever- ... I'm actually in ongoing, voluntary outpatient treatment, med checks and counseling...I don't understand what all of this is about?) and...

yeah, rambling. hatred, contempt, "he needs to -move out- " and "he needs to move to (group home, subsidized housing)!" and/or "he needs to be in the state hospital!," and...

rambling. less afraid than in times past (even recently past), but...concerned, I suppose? I don't want never ending friction and/or drama, etc., and...

I don't even know most people around here. I literally wave and people and offer up a friendly smile. That is truly the extent of it. It...bothers me.

OK. Please pray for my parents and me. Thanks.

Praying for you and yours CE. There does seem to be an uptick in hostility against those with emo/psycho problems. When first admitted to my room, the doctor entered with a nurse and lambasted me about not getting the vax while the nurse backed him up with something about stupid Americans. He left me with doubt about my survival. He asked if he could get me anything. I asked only for water. He refused. He gave me some lame excuse. I reminded him that proper hydration is basic to proper healthcare. He said "Then we'll give you an IV, that will be sufficient." He left, but they did give me water.

 

[Christ_empowered]

omg. --ridiculous--

and...

all of a sudden, a -bunch- of people are gone from the clinic. new receptionists. the jobs placement individual is gone, too...and I think the program is over? hmmm...

no one's gotten --in my face-- at the clinic in a while. that's...progress? I mean, basic, but...progress?

its frightening. I mean...my psych nurse practitioner is gone, too, and I have a new one. her license is still active and all. maybe her contract expired? a shrink at the clinic is no longer there (never treated me...)...

his license seems to be "inactive," fairly recently? and a horrible former counselor apparently had a serious reprimand (license was not continuous), and now his license has expired. hmmm...


I don't know...that "mental illness" is real, per se...but what to -do- without the myth, the construct? I think lots of people are labeled these days because of social and economic problems and also the epidemic of psychiatry. I mean...the middle and upper classes get their kids hopped up on Rx uppers to keep up and join the rat race, the working and lower classes get labeled if they so much as sass a teacher, and then the foster kids are apparently being forever doped to the gills to keep them from complaining. and it only gets worse as the kiddos get older...


so, my label is "Schizophrenia," maybe "Schizoaffective." Does it...matter? not really, I don't think. either way, the label is a reason for me to have a sort of "excused absence" from the labor force. I think when it gets to "Bipolar I," the idea is that one takes the cocktail and works, except for occasional "mental health days" or...something? -shrug-

I dunno. People are forever saying "he has a FELONY!" and/or "his parents CANNOT help him!" and its frightening and frustrating. by the grace of God, I got saved on bond and ended up with a class A misdemeanor. the difference? no jail time, no prison time, 3 years probation, done. no one will hire me, but I've been spared a felony, by the grace of God (and thanks to loving parents who were able and willing to get a skilled attorney). and so...


yeah. it got extra-creepy, when I was pre-paying for gas in my parents' town. some young-ish officer walked by, said "he has a FELONY!" and smiled. Yeah, funny. I haven't lived in the town in 3 years, now. I don't think I'd be permitted to live here with a felony, so...???

"He moves in mysterious ways, His wonders to achieve." true in big ways, small ways, all ways. OK. so...my parents have to talk to the people who own the upstairs unit. this is the 2nd time and I think 2nd set of tenants who apparently think nothing of letting their bathroom leak all over ours, not to mention the stomping and obnoxious mind games. what fun. so...

obviously, -gratitude- : parents can and will handle it. HOA already came to the conclusion that the upstairs unit owner will need to cover the costs. so...there's that. maybe they'll get new tenants? -here's hoping-

but, yeah. the "felon" thing happened today when I had to send off mail at the post office from that little town. ugh. But...I don't actually have a felony? I think felonies get reduced into misdemeanor territory somewhat often (?). I read that over 90% of US criminal cases are dealt with thru plea bargain. surely there's some serious charge reductions going on in a lot of those cases? but...

yeah. the upstairs dudes are being extra obnoxious. i suspect one of them left his plastic soda bottle in my planter, because...well, just because? ok, then. I have a camera, I had to get 2 outdoor ones because they're -that- ridiculous, and...


--gratitude-- no one can come into my place or anything, the level of hostility seems to be growing in direct proportion to God's mercy and love and kindness towards my parents and me, so...

genuine conversion, marked by God's work in my life? something like that, anyway.

ok. ramble, ramble. sounds like a fairly horrendous medical experience, btw. I don't mind non-psych docs, usually, just...arm's length kind of deal. like so many people with advanced degrees and/or resources, there seems to be a lot of ego involved. ugh. happens.

 

[daninthelionsden]

omg. --ridiculous--

and...

all of a sudden, a -bunch- of people are gone from the clinic. new receptionists. the jobs placement individual is gone, too...and I think the program is over? hmmm...

no one's gotten --in my face-- at the clinic in a while. that's...progress? I mean, basic, but...progress?

its frightening. I mean...my psych nurse practitioner is gone, too, and I have a new one. her license is still active and all. maybe her contract expired? a shrink at the clinic is no longer there (never treated me...)...

his license seems to be "inactive," fairly recently? and a horrible former counselor apparently had a serious reprimand (license was not continuous), and now his license has expired. hmmm...


I don't know...that "mental illness" is real, per se...but what to -do- without the myth, the construct? I think lots of people are labeled these days because of social and economic problems and also the epidemic of psychiatry. I mean...the middle and upper classes get their kids hopped up on Rx uppers to keep up and join the rat race, the working and lower classes get labeled if they so much as sass a teacher, and then the foster kids are apparently being forever doped to the gills to keep them from complaining. and it only gets worse as the kiddos get older...


so, my label is "Schizophrenia," maybe "Schizoaffective." Does it...matter? not really, I don't think. either way, the label is a reason for me to have a sort of "excused absence" from the labor force. I think when it gets to "Bipolar I," the idea is that one takes the cocktail and works, except for occasional "mental health days" or...something? -shrug-

I dunno. People are forever saying "he has a FELONY!" and/or "his parents CANNOT help him!" and its frightening and frustrating. by the grace of God, I got saved on bond and ended up with a class A misdemeanor. the difference? no jail time, no prison time, 3 years probation, done. no one will hire me, but I've been spared a felony, by the grace of God (and thanks to loving parents who were able and willing to get a skilled attorney). and so...


yeah. it got extra-creepy, when I was pre-paying for gas in my parents' town. some young-ish officer walked by, said "he has a FELONY!" and smiled. Yeah, funny. I haven't lived in the town in 3 years, now. I don't think I'd be permitted to live here with a felony, so...???

"He moves in mysterious ways, His wonders to achieve." true in big ways, small ways, all ways. OK. so...my parents have to talk to the people who own the upstairs unit. this is the 2nd time and I think 2nd set of tenants who apparently think nothing of letting their bathroom leak all over ours, not to mention the stomping and obnoxious mind games. what fun. so...

obviously, -gratitude- : parents can and will handle it. HOA already came to the conclusion that the upstairs unit owner will need to cover the costs. so...there's that. maybe they'll get new tenants? -here's hoping-

but, yeah. the "felon" thing happened today when I had to send off mail at the post office from that little town. ugh. But...I don't actually have a felony? I think felonies get reduced into misdemeanor territory somewhat often (?). I read that over 90% of US criminal cases are dealt with thru plea bargain. surely there's some serious charge reductions going on in a lot of those cases? but...

yeah. the upstairs dudes are being extra obnoxious. i suspect one of them left his plastic soda bottle in my planter, because...well, just because? ok, then. I have a camera, I had to get 2 outdoor ones because they're -that- ridiculous, and...


--gratitude-- no one can come into my place or anything, the level of hostility seems to be growing in direct proportion to God's mercy and love and kindness towards my parents and me, so...

genuine conversion, marked by God's work in my life? something like that, anyway.

ok. ramble, ramble. sounds like a fairly horrendous medical experience, btw. I don't mind non-psych docs, usually, just...arm's length kind of deal. like so many people with advanced degrees and/or resources, there seems to be a lot of ego involved. ugh. happens.

It does seem that maybe things have changed for the better for you CE. Time will tell. This is hopefully the answer to so many prayers.