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I'm sure I'm on the wrong thread (Advice)

:wave2 MsDiaz welcome to CF,

After reading everyone's replies you have been given some very good Godly advice. If there is no trust then there can never be any happiness. Never let someone put you on a pedestal as it can be a long fall when they push you off of it. My best advice is to put Christ first and foremost in your life as you develop that personal relationship with Him.

Before ever getting married take time to really know each other and establish a friendship that consist of trust and belief in each other. Allow Christ to be the center of your friendship and this will allow you to begin a marriage that is totally Christ centered. Always resolve your problems with the Holy Ghost guidance through the word and you will always have a good marriage. Always be opened and honest with each other for this builds trust in the relationship, but if that trust is broken there is no relationship. Love each other unconditionally as Christ loves us and forgives us our faults. As long as we live in this flesh we will sin at times, but when you acknowledge those sins and ask for forgiveness God will always forgive us. Always be ready to forgive each other seventy times seven, Matthew 22:21,22, and not only forgive, but forget the sin as God remembers our sins no more when we repent of them. The outside appearance will always change and beauty may fade, but it is the heart of the person we are to love and the heart will never change as long as the love of Christ dwells within it.
 
Thank you guys ! I really need to figure out how to just give it all to God . I need to put the pain aside & just trust . Thank you for everyone's words :)
 
Hi! Thank you for checking on me ! - Everything is alright .
From the last thing I posted .. I went to see him one more time & made him cookies . I made a list and apologized for everything . He said we would have to meet up again where he can apologize . I told him to just tell me now . He said he did Talk to others during our rough patch , but his mistake was not cutting them off . I knew that wasn't true, because he was still browsing Tinder in April and May . He keeps trying to talk , I send him a message explaining my feelings , he doesn't answer . He asks to meet up for lunch , I thought he wanted to talk about things , but he didn't . I didn't really want him to , but he didn't regardless . He keeps checking the time / asks when my parents would be home bcuz I was locked out of the house . I ask him if he has something to do & he said he was going to help his friend with his flooring . So about an hour later I text him and tell him I'm not upset with him for having to leave . He says he's sorry & then accidentally sends me a text saying " are y'all here ? I don't see yalls cars " . He then says that was for his Mom . I said , oh , I thought you were helping Mike :) . He opens it , but doesn't respond until hours later & just says " Ohhh Casey:) " . That's my name . So I didn't bother answering . If he is upset bcuz I don't trust him , he shouldn't expect my trust .. He should be willing to explain and rebuild it . But he didn't . So we didn't talk for a few days after that . The guilt is eating me up , so I email him and apologize for everything wrong I did . He answers and comes by to see me at work . So we email again a few times .. He said he thought we still had hope .. But in the emails I think there was a piece of dishonesty from him , bcuz he said he wasn't adding girls to talk to in April and May , but I saw the screenshotted profiles . I send him this huge polite email in saying that I want honesty and loyalty , and they aren't there & that I wasn't willing to break that standard . I also told him good things . He didn't respond for two days & when he did he said that we both have things we need to work on & that God can do miracles & that he loves me . I didn't respond . He came by to see me at work a couple times after that , but we haven't conversated in 2 weeks tomorrow . - I've just been having a hard time with the guilt . I know I wasn't perfect & created hard times in the relationship as well . I just keep beating myself up . & the thoughts of ... Maybe it was too much bad & he turned to others . But there was also good . It just seems like he should have came to me & we could have worked on things . We both are at fault , but the way he handled things is ultimately what ended our relationship . Bcuz those were my boundaries . I'm just killing my mind with all of the "what ifs and maybes" .
 
He also says that he truly doesn't think he cheated , but handled himself poorly . I don't feel like the situation is in the light or that I've got a true genuine apology from him .


PS.. No regards to the Facebook thing .. He said " I was not the one to talk to people thru Facebook or anything" .. He didn't say he didn't talk to girls .. But same difference I guess .

I just wish I could let it go . Bring myself peace .
 
MsDias27 said:
He also says that he truly doesn't think he cheated , but handled himself poorly . I don't feel like the situation is in the light or that I've got a true genuine apology from him .


PS.. No regards to the Facebook thing .. He said " I was not the one to talk to people thru Facebook or anything" .. He didn't say he didn't talk to girls .. But same difference I guess .

I just wish I could let it go . Bring myself peace .
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if you get no peace with this..i suggest you move on. dead things draws flies go to the next chapter in your life.
 
hello MsDias27, dirtfarmer here

"Love" is not always enough to base a relationship on, there must also be trust. Our relationship with our savior is based on love and trust. If Jesus was not faithful to his word, then could we have trust in the salvation he has promised? If you can't trust a guy's word then how can you trust him.

God's love is not expressed in him always giving to us what we want, but we can always trust that he will supply what we need and what is best for us.

Scripture tells husbands to love their wives as Christ loves the church: Ephesians 5:25 "Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it." Wives are never told to love their husbands

Be patient, God will bring that right person into your life if you wait on Him. In 1 Kings 19:11-12 the Lord was not in the strong wind, nor the earthquake, or the fire, but in a still small voice. Never allow anything to become #1 in your life other than God.
 
Hello everyone . I will say this though . While he made bad decisions , so did I . To a degree I "emotionally cheated" by allowing my heart to be vulnerable to others, which made my heart wonder . While I stopped those choices & talked to my boyfriend about them , I didn't tell him my thoughts . I was also over emotional at times & needy . - I just wanted to clarify so the blame wasn't just on him . I appreciate everyone's replies . :)
 
MsDias27 said:
Hello everyone . I will say this though . While he made bad decisions , so did I . To a degree I "emotionally cheated" by allowing my heart to be vulnerable to others, which made my heart wonder . While I stopped those choices & talked to my boyfriend about them , I didn't tell him my thoughts . I was also over emotional at times & needy . - I just wanted to clarify so the blame wasn't just on him . I appreciate everyone's replies . :)
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Yeah... OK.
Both of you made mistakes.
Wisdom comes with time. This relationship between you two didn't work out. There's going to be more relationships in your and his future.

Make good choices. Understand why you made bad ones in the past. If you can do this your past failed relationships will be material jokes are made of.
 
dirtfarmer said:
hello MsDias27, dirtfarmer here

"Love" is not always enough to base a relationship on, there must also be trust. Our relationship with our savior is based on love and trust. If Jesus was not faithful to his word, then could we have trust in the salvation he has promised? If you can't trust a guy's word then how can you trust him.

God's love is not expressed in him always giving to us what we want, but we can always trust that he will supply what we need and what is best for us.

Scripture tells husbands to love their wives as Christ loves the church: Ephesians 5:25 "Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it." Wives are never told to love their husbands

Be patient, God will bring that right person into your life if you wait on Him. In 1 Kings 19:11-12 the Lord was not in the strong wind, nor the earthquake, or the fire, but in a still small voice. Never allow anything to become #1 in your life other than God.
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Thank you for your response :)
 
JohnDB said:
Yeah... OK.
Both of you made mistakes.
Wisdom comes with time. This relationship between you two didn't work out. There's going to be more relationships in your and his future.

Make good choices. Understand why you made bad ones in the past. If you can do this your past failed relationships will be material jokes are made of.
Click to expand...
Thank you John for your response :)
 
one cheats and then convinces the other it is their fault .. cheater demands perfection and the other tries to be perfect ... the cheater will build the trust only to break it down to keep control.
 
reba said:
one cheats and then convinces the other it is their fault .. cheater demands perfection and the other tries to be perfect ... the cheater will build the trust only to break it down to keep control.
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I feel like I usually expected him to be perfect .. But it's something I was getting better at . He always told me I was perfect .. We both made mistakes - but it's not healthy anymore ... God can restore us separately :)
 
ezra said:
i have seen this many times the woman loves the man the man says he loves the woman yet treats them like dirt
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His words were nice , and he treated me like a queen ... Minus what was going on behind the scenes .. But I could have treated him better on several occasions as well
 
MsDias27 said:
His words were nice , and he treated me like a queen ... Minus what was going on behind the scenes .. But I could have treated him better on several occasions as well
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if things was going behind scene then your best off
 
MsDias27 said:
He also says that he truly doesn't think he cheated , but handled himself poorly . I don't feel like the situation is in the light or that I've got a true genuine apology from him .


PS.. No regards to the Facebook thing .. He said " I was not the one to talk to people thru Facebook or anything" .. He didn't say he didn't talk to girls .. But same difference I guess .

I just wish I could let it go . Bring myself peace .
Click to expand...
& in reference to the Facebook thing , he was referring to 2013.
 
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