Impacting Risky Teen Behavior

[Mike]

I don't see how this needs to be a threat to religion, though.

I never implied that it was a "threat" to religion. Dinner together indeed can enhance a Christian family's life. It seems to be moving the target off of what will bring true peace in addition to a solid foundation for teens to stand on. It's not a threat to religion. It's where a reliance on something other than the One who Gives Life is promoted as the answer to a dysfuncitional families. Rhea, I realize we will disagree here, and I also realize there are both agnostic teens to are fine young people and Christians who will stumble. But, I believe the greatest hope lies in not relying on worldly answers to the breakdown in families.

 

[WIP]

1. a. - If you are parents, how often do you arrange to have dinner as a family?

As often as possible and this includes breakfast and lunch.
<O:p</O:p

1. b. - Looking back on your teens (if you are looking back ) how often did you have dinner as a family, and do you believe this made a difference?

<O:p</O:p
Nearly every evening that extra-curricular activities, piano lessons, or church activities don’t collide. On average I’d say at least 5 nights a week and on Saturday and Sunday about 90% breakfast and dinner. I believe it helps keep a family connected and provides a more stable atmosphere. I suspect if a family had another period of time when they make it a point to spend time together it would work as well. I think it promotes the importance of family and demonstrates that we as parents value our family enough to devote some regular time.
<O:p</O:p
<O:p</O:p

2. Is this a secular replacement for the roll of faith in the family? Can it be over-played?

I suppose it could be but maybe it has more to do with how we use this time. We can allow it to be a replacement or we can use this time for instruction. As a family we are sleeping for about +/- 33% of the day and working or in school for +/- 42% of the day and part of the remaining 25% of the day (6 hours) is used for personal time leaving us only a small part of each day for family time. We all usually have to eat dinner so this is one thing we can plan to do together. This could also be a good time to discuss faith issues rather than letting it become a replacement. Admittedly, this is not the usual topic of discussion at our dinner table but being involved with our Sunday school program and having both of our daughters in my class gives me opportunity to discuss faith issues beyond the average home I guess.<O:p</O:p

 

[handy]

Wow! I'm being quoted in a siggy! I feel special!

Mike, I think your point about many families that share the dinner table being families of faith...therefore masking the why of studies showing that teens who eat dinner regularly with their families are less prone to risky teen behavior is a good one.



As for relying upon worldly answers for the breakdown in families...well, the world will continue to do so. But, you're right, we Christians need to see it for what it is.

 

[Rhea]

Mike, I think your point about many families that share the dinner table being families of faith...therefore masking the why of studies showing that teens who eat dinner regularly with their families are less prone to risky teen behavior is a good one.

But I think the article refutes it. I can't imagine they ignored religiosity in their study...

"Family meals are the strongest factor that we've come across in any activity that families do," said William Doherty, a professor of family social science at the University of Minnesota. "It really tops them all as a predictor and contributor of a wide range of positive behavior."

I'm off to read the full article at Columbia to see if it explains what they mean by this.

edited to add:
They don't do a dinner-versus-church-attendance discussion, but they do show both charts' effects on drug and alcohol use. Their data shows that the numbers are pretty close - within the margin of error for each. They reveal that fully 37% of the teens who do have 5+ meals with family never attend church.

While the sample is relatively small (1000 teens), the differences showing the advantage of dinner at home is so big, I'm happy to embrace the study. Plus it confirms my own bias that family face time is crucial to good parenting (religious or not). Plus it's a cost-saver to cleave to the study's recommendations. ;)

edited to add again - after reading their methodology, I expect there will be a pro-parenting bias in the data, such as a higher number of 5+ meals together families than the general population. They use a method of randomly calling families and inviting them to participate as a group study. This will tend to select for families which consider themselves good parents, IMHO.

 

[handy]

Rhea, I followed the link and found lots of reports...which one are you referring to that shows the 37% of kids who had no church attendance.

Naturally, what would be of interest would be to see if kids with regular church attendance, being raised in homes where faith is considered important, but have no regular family dinners would be more or less likely to engage in risky behavior.

 

[Rhea]

they engage in risky behavior at about the same rate.

I wish the report went into more raw data so I could tease it apart and do some statistical analysis, but I'm left with only this. Oh, it's the first report, btw. You can download the 25-page reportcalled

The Importance of Family Dinners VII (September 2011)

Anyway, I'm left seeing only this:

If you go to church 4+ times per month, your alcohol use rate is 13%. If you eat meals at home 5+ times per week, your alcohol use rate is 15%.


Meanwhile 37% of those who eat home 5+ times per week NEVER go to church, with another 19% being sporadic or less than every week attendees. Or, in other words, only 44% of those who eat at home 5+ times per week are regular churchgoers, 56% are not.

And I am left with their statement that dinner was the biggest factor of all they studied. And they studied religious activity and it did not impinge their statement of dinner being the biggest ffactor.

I wish there were more! I'd dig, too.

But again, I think the good news here is that there is an actionable thing parents can do, in addition to whatever else they think is important, to help their teens through the teens.

 

[handy]

Thanks for the break down, Rhea...


I think the key here is that when families stress the importance of eating together, it stands to reason that this is a family where people are engaged with each other and communicating with each other. In other words, they are not just people who happen to live in the same house.

 

[Rhea]

Thanks for the break down, Rhea...


I think the key here is that when families stress the importance of eating together, it stands to reason that this is a family where people are engaged with each other and communicating with each other. In other words, they are not just people who happen to live in the same house.

I totally agree. And I would love to see a parenting class in (early!!) high school that covers this sort of thing. Don't shake babies. Plan to give your time - a lot. Have dinner together every day. Make sure they get their vegetables. That way the ones who DON'T get this as children know to give it as parents and we break the cycle (cause they sure won't learn it from their parents. ).

 

[Mike]

Also, with Rhea's reference to the article, it always falls short with me when such reports cite "church attendance" as some barometer of spiritual health. It might have a loose correlation, but it doesn't directly relate. Many, many people regularly attend church but have no personal commitment. Secular pollsters rarely dig deeper than church attendance, and it takes away from the validity of the data; for me anyway.

 

[handy]

I totally agree. And I would love to see a parenting class in (early!!) high school that covers this sort of thing. Don't shake babies. Plan to give your time - a lot. Have dinner together every day. Make sure they get their vegetables. That way the ones who DON'T get this as children know to give it as parents and we break the cycle (cause they sure won't learn it from their parents. ).

Take heart...my daughter is taking just such a class this semester. And it is a very good one as well!

Mike, I agree and was thinking that some very godly parents don't make it to church on every Sunday and there are pew warmers in any congregation. It would be much better to try to ascertain the importance of "faith" in a family, not necessarily "church".

 

[Rhea]

Also, with Rhea's reference to the article, it always falls short with me when such reports cite "church attendance" as some barometer of spiritual health. It might have a loose correlation, but it doesn't directly relate. Many, many people regularly attend church but have no personal commitment. Secular pollsters rarely dig deeper than church attendance, and it takes away from the validity of the data; for me anyway.

What can you use instead? Self-assignment? Even the Mormons claim to be Christian.

edited to explain - I do see what you're saying, I just wonder what you could use instead. After all, *I* am a churchgoer once a month, even though the only reason I'm there is to watch my daughter sing (and wonder what ON EARTH the Pastor was thinking to use Judges to exemplify civil rights victories).

 

[Danus]

Also, with Rhea's reference to the article, it always falls short with me when such reports cite "church attendance" as some barometer of spiritual health. It might have a loose correlation, but it doesn't directly relate. Many, many people regularly attend church but have no personal commitment. Secular pollsters rarely dig deeper than church attendance, and it takes away from the validity of the data; for me anyway.

Well, there you go, but the secular world correlates being "good', going to church, and such with spiritual health. However, so do many Christians...and they call it "works"

 

[Nick]

Thanks for the break down, Rhea...


I think the key here is that when families stress the importance of eating together, it stands to reason that this is a family where people are engaged with each other and communicating with each other. In other words, they are not just people who happen to live in the same house.

I agree, and Mike this was my point, that it shouldn't matter whether it is a Christian home or not, family time, particulary family meal time shuld be of great value.

The World will always try and 'fill the gap' that Christ should fill with something else.