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[ Testimony ] In the day that I was saved.

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rhomphaeam

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My witness of Christ (part one)

Salvation came to me in a prison cell in Stafford Prison on the Crescent Wing on the 10th May 1984. I was serving a 30 month custodial sentence for theft of goods under the 1968 Theft Act. On that morning of the 10th May I was brought up from the Block - punishment cells - having been taken before the prison Governor for conduct that was against prison regulations. I lost 60 days of my remission period and so effectively 60 days were added to the time I would have to serve to complete the sentence of the Court.

The previous evening at around 21:00 Hrs six prison officers burst into my cell which at that time was on the Main Wing of the prison and carried me down to the block. They had concluded an investigation into my conduct in the prison as a trusted inmate where I had been giving other inmates extra wages and fiddling the books which I was in charge of in the Pay Canteen. I was already in a single occupancy cell on the Main Wing. Yet my cell was twice the size of a normal cell and shaped rather differently as it was one of the cells that was built into the Main building for trusted inmates - they were known as Red Bands.

In that rather splendid cell I had books, tobacco, alcohol, drugs, art equipment, divination tools and a host of other things so my life was in fact extremely comfortable and pleasing to my flesh. I worked in the Prison Pay Canteen and my job was to process the inmates who were coming into the prison from Remand Prisons across the region. They always came with a Pay Slip and that slip contained the amount of money they had in their prison account. So when they came I selected all the men I knew from within the prison system and destroyed their slips wrote new ones and increased their savings by as much as 100%. For which I took a 50% cut.

It was on one of these Remand Prison intakes that a man by the name of Stephen suddenly appeared in my office and at first I though that I was in for another 50% cut because I knew him and so knew that I could trust him. But as my eyes settled on him a thought suddenly came into my mind that somehow he was different. And he being the great brute that he was came and sat down right next to me and said quietly "I have become a Christian." I wasn't going to argue with him and so I processed his Pay Slip penny for penny accurately. Then he left. It was three days later that the Prison Guards burst into my cell.

When I was carried down the Block - punishment cells - I was so enraged that I began to manifest demonically and by the time we got to the block the guards were shaking and almost seemed to be powerless. I should say that at this time I was already a committed occultist and my cell contained a 200 page occult theosophical framework I was writing in order to establish an occult order when I left prison. As they tried to close the cell door they found that they could not do it and I demanded that they went and brought me some paper and a pen. On that agreement the door was shut and a few minutes later the shaken guard brought the paper and the pen. I then sat down and began to write. All I can remember of what I wrote consist of no more than one line.

"They do not comprehend that the greatest power is hate and not love.”

So the next morning I went before the Governor and had the 60 days added to my sentence. I lost everything from my Main Wing cell and all I had to take with me to my new isolation cell was my bedding and my occult theosophy. It was 09:30 Hrs on the 10th May 1984 when I was taken to the Crescent Wing which at the time was a filthy and vile Victorian prison block built by mad men who imagined that austerity was a benefit. As I arrived on the wing the other inmates on that landing were slopping out (an amusing term to describe emptying ones potty), and as I turned to look across the landing in the very opposite cell door way was Stephen who had so sweetly told me that he was now a Christian just a few days previously in the Pay Canteen. So I shot across whilst I had the chance and asked if he had any books.

When I entered his cell it was free of all pornography on the walls and I joked that it looked like a monks cell in an Abbey. He gave me a book by Rita Nightingale called Freed for Life. I looked at him in disbelief and asked him somewhat carefully if he was jesting. He just loved me right back and so I took this book that is a testimony of a sister who was saved in prison some years earlier across to my new solitary dwelling and the Prison Officer closed the door. By this time it was 10:00 Hrs. By 12:30 Hrs when the cell door was opened for me to go and collect my food to return to my cell and eat it I was completely changed and my occult theosophy was in the bin.

I had gone and laid on my bed to begin reading this book Stephen had given me and before I was more than a few pages into it my cell was filled with the presence of the Father and I threw the book over my face and cried out "Forgive me Father, I did not know that you were real". I was not only shattered by the presence of the Father in my cell filling the room and filling me also, but I was deeply grieved that I had sung His praises as a choir boy when I was seven and had been held in His hands as a child and had not realised His great love and His mercy also. In the interim years not only did I forget what I had known as a child, but I forgot God Himself and so came to a place that His presence seemed as though it were the first time I had known Him. I wrote a prayer to commemorate this recollection when as a seven year old boy sitting in a theatre with my class mates from the same Religious School and knowing then that despite the insanity of my troubled childhood the Father knew me and He had His hand on my life.

Continued......

Rhomphaeam
 
My witness of Christ (part two)

It is that character in life - where our parents are religious and yet fail us utterly by abusing us and causing us to stumble so badly that we fall into an occult mind - not as an entertainment of Halloween or else stories of witches and supposed white magic - rather demonic leadings and an ambition of Satan to make us a vessel for his purposes. From the age of three I was preparing for the choir out of my infants school and first entered a Christian place of worship when my mother converted to the Anglican Communion and was baptised. A few months later she remarried. Wearing my new red sandals I felt so special as I walked down the centre of what seemed like a great house to me and then settled into the stalls to witness my mother marrying her chosen man because my father had somehow disappeared when I was still in my mothers womb.

By the time I was seven just shortly after being moved by the Holy Spirit in a cinema and asking myself about Christ - yet seeing my friends were not moved at all - as I was - Satan found his grip on my life and demonic powers were regularly in fellowship with me. When I share with brethren that at the age of seven I knew that Christ was alive - and yet in the same year was finally gripped by Satan to an eventual road into the occult they cannot fathom it. And these things happened through my church when the attached school sent the entire class of more than forty children to the Cinema to watch the Easter Story. Also when I watched the effect of the singing of the choir in Communion or Even Song, or else funerals and weddings - of which I was a solo treble - I asked of God. Witnessing God move the flock to see Christ and when the light coming through the stained glass windows in a myriad of colours washing the flock in such beauty - I asked myself "who is God." Then when back at home unimaginable cruelty and fear.

Such a terrible contradiction as abusive and cruel parents and yet such beauty as the Church with Christ at its high place with the Father - demands that we cannot take a lame position in life - And we either fall into utter ruin or else we find God by faith and a renewed spirit. So when the Father swept into my prison cell in May 1984 it was a simple matter to take up my occult writings and to throw them into the bin and then ask the Father, "If you are God Father, who is Christ?"

How the Father answered that question followed on that same day until I knew Christ and saw the white of His garment and knew His hand upon my head. I slept like a small child that night and awoke to a new life wherein I first saw that despite the bars and the steel door and the small inaccessible windows of my cell - I was free for the first time in my life.

Beloved we have all been defrauded in life - we have all been robbed of our peace through the faltering of those in authority over us - And we have all stumbled because of it. But now is the time - as it first was when we found a living faith and the grace of God to hold onto Christ and believe into Him - to once again find obedience. The Lord is coming back to receive us to Himself and we must be dressed in readiness so that we do not put Him to a shame on account that we take His name. Whatever is behind us let it be behind us and let us all press on in the unity of our faith to give the glory to Christ who is worthy of all praise. Amen

This (below) prayer is what I wrote to remind myself and others of the semblance that we all feel when we have stumbled - even as a child stumbles - and yet through repentance we can fly on wings of faith in Him.

O Lord my God when I first knew of you Lord in the recess of my heart, I was yet a child. Though I could not understand the magnitude of your throne and the breadth of your canopies, I knew that you were true God. In my childish manner I was received into your courts, and as a child I believed that all my friends were good. So as I looked at them in the quiet place of needing to understand why Christ died, I saw that none were weeping Lord. In my consternation I asked myself why? Yet I cannot say O Lord that they despised you or that they did not have their thoughts and neither can I say that they did not have their burdens and their pains also. In that instant Lord, I knew only that you were my Lord and that you had given your life on the cross. And I knew that I wept and my friends were dry. Selah

Now O Lord these many years later I come before you a child, no longer innocent of offending your glory and no longer innocent of the breadth and depth of your great love with which you have loved all men. It is as though I am ruined, Lord. It is as if I have thrown all your tables down and scattered your plates. Hear my cry O Lord. Restore unto me O Lord the joy of your salvation and renew a right spirit within me. Forgive me, Father, that I no longer look through eyes that are sanctified by tears, which when as a child I knew in my childish innocence. Forgive me O Lord that now through the trials of life by which I have come to know that though my friends were dry, their pain was real and their consternation was no less than my own. You knew them all O Lord and yet you gave me tears. Selah

Forgive me Father, that I have walked only in the remembrance of my childish tears seeing that Christ died, and grant me the burden to remember that it was my sins that brought your Son to the cross. Cause me to know Father, that the remembrance of my innocence when I wept of your Son, and my childish tears will not now deliver my wretched friends for who's sake He also died. Forgive me, Father, that I have taken confidence in childish tears which by now are a ruined house, and ought to have come into your dominion wherein it is no longer possible to see only my pain and my grief in life, but must now also see the great love with which you have loved all men through your beloved Son. Forgive me Lord my God, that I have thrown down your tables and scattered your plates so that my friends who were dry when I wept, are now scattered also. Have mercy O Lord, and gather them into your fold. Amen


Rhomphaeam
 
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