Is feeling numb a bad sign?

[QuestionGuy]

It feels like the more I dive into learning about God, the more numb I get. When I first decided to turn away from atheism, I was overjoyed. I felt a euphoria that I had only previously felt after taking medication. Except it felt much better and didn't just fade away later in the day. I could honestly say that I felt happy. However, that feeling did go away. I didn't mind because you can't be happy all the time. But things only seem to have gotten "less happy" after that.

1) I was starting to turn away from violent and sexual imagery (TV, movies, games). But then I watched religious videos where people said that those things didn't matter as long as you don't cause your brother to stumble (or fall, or something like that). So I fell back into watching that sort of stuff.


2) I have always been someone who wanted to do good deeds just for the sake of it. But then the Bible says that our righteous acts are like filthy rags. So that kinda killed the buzz for me too. What makes it even more confusing is that people say that when your relationship with God strengthens, you'll be compelled to do good deeds. But we're told they're like filthy rags.


3) For the past week or so I had been feeling so anxious about whether I would make it into heaven or not. It was all I could think about. It consumed most of my thoughts. I even watched several videos about assurance. But then I watched a video from someone who gives prophetic messages. He said that God wants us to stop overthinking things. This resonated with me because I am a huge overthinker. It seems to have worked because I'm not longer freaking out. But now I worry that I'm too numb. Now I'm worried that I've sorta "turned off my heart". Is this a bad sign?

 

[Tenchi]

It feels like the more I dive into learning about God, the more numb I get. When I first decided to turn away from atheism, I was overjoyed. I felt a euphoria that I had only previously felt after taking medication. Except it felt much better and didn't just fade away later in the day. I could honestly say that I felt happy. However, that feeling did go away. I didn't mind because you can't be happy all the time. But things only seem to have gotten "less happy" after that.

When you stop going with the current that's been carrying you ever-so-comfortably and easily toward destruction, when you put your feet down on the bed of the river and cease to be carried along, then it is you feel the full weight of the current that's been sweeping you so quietly, swiftly and powerfully toward death. It's a very strong current!

Thankfully, God is infinitely stronger than this deadly current and as you learn to stand, by faith, in His promises and power, it's pressure will dissolve.

1) I was starting to turn away from violent and sexual imagery (TV, movies, games). But then I watched religious videos where people said that those things didn't matter as long as you don't cause your brother to stumble (or fall, or something like that). So I fell back into watching that sort of stuff.

What matters is what God says to you in His word, not what people in religious videos have to say. Check everything you hear or read about Christian truth and living against the Bible! It's your guide and standard for Christian living.

2 Timothy 3:16-17
16 All Scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness;
17 so that the man of God may be adequate, equipped for every good work.

Psalm 1:1-3
1 How blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked, Nor stand in the path of sinners, Nor sit in the seat of scoffers!
2 But his delight is in the law of the LORD, And in His law he meditates day and night.
3 He will be like a tree firmly planted by streams of water, Which yields its fruit in its season And its leaf does not wither; And in whatever he does, he prospers.

If you don't know your spiritual guide well, if you don't know the Bible well, you will soon leave the narrow way and find yourself off in the ditch, entangled by weeds of sin.

What does God say in His word, the Bible, about the things you watch on t.v. or your cell phone, or p.c.?

Psalm 101:3-4
3 I will set no wicked thing before my eyes; I hate the work of those who fall away; It shall not fasten its grip on me.
4 A perverse heart shall depart from me; I will know no evil.

Philippians 4:8
8 Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.

Ephesians 5:8-12
8 for you were formerly darkness, but now you are Light in the Lord; walk as children of Light
9 (for the fruit of the Light consists in all goodness and righteousness and truth),
10 trying to learn what is pleasing to the Lord.
11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but instead even expose them;
12 for it is disgraceful even to speak of the things which are done by them in secret.

If you take these passages of Scripture at all seriously - as you should - much of what is on t.v. or the internet has to be rejected and forsaken. Replace the time spent watching filth and evil with study of God's word, and volunteering, and involvement with fellow believers.

2) I have always been someone who wanted to do good deeds just for the sake of it. But then the Bible says that our righteous acts are like filthy rags. So that kinda killed the buzz for me too. What makes it even more confusing is that people say that when your relationship with God strengthens, you'll be compelled to do good deeds. But we're told they're like filthy rags.

An unsaved person's righteousness is like a "filthy rag" only insofar as their righteousness isn't spiritually useful. Morally-speaking, the unsaved person who helps feed the poor, or rescues somebody from a burning building, or donates blood, or whatever has done what is right. These morally-right deeds, though, don't have any spiritual benefit because they don't arise out of a love for God (1 Corinthians 13:1-3; Matthew 22:36-38). When, though, a person is born-again by faith in Christ and submission to him as Lord, and they begin to do right because they love God and want to please Him, their right living arising from the life and work of the Holy Spirit in them, their righteousness ceases to be like "filthy rags" to God but is, instead, the "fragrance of Christ" to Him.

3) For the past week or so I had been feeling so anxious about whether I would make it into heaven or not. It was all I could think about. It consumed most of my thoughts. I even watched several videos about assurance. But then I watched a video from someone who gives prophetic messages. He said that God wants us to stop overthinking things. This resonated with me because I am a huge overthinker. It seems to have worked because I'm not longer freaking out. But now I worry that I'm too numb. Now I'm worried that I've sorta "turned off my heart". Is this a bad sign?

You aren't saved on the basis of what you do or don't feel. In fact, your feelings have nothing at all to do with your salvation. You are saved on the basis of what God has said in His word is the basis for your salvation and on nothing else. Your salvation is, actually, a Person - Jesus Christ - not a feeling (1 John 5:11-13; John 14:6; Acts 4:12); he saves you and you stay saved because of him, not because of you. See Titus 3:5, Ephesians 2:8-9, 2 Timothy 1:9.

If you're on medication, it can have a numbing effect. This feeling of numbness, however, has no bearing on God fulfilling His promise of salvation to the person who trusts in Christ and yields to him as Lord (Romans 10:9-10).

I would strongly urge you to begin to listen to Dr. Vernon McGee's "Thru the Bible" podcast. He goes through the entire Bible in five years, in daily, half-hour sessions teaching all of God's word. It's really good stuff for the new believer, in particular.

www.ttb.org

 

[Whatever]

What makes it even more confusing is that people say that when your relationship with God strengthens, you'll be compelled to do good deeds. But we're told they're like filthy rags.

This doesn't mean that we should not do good deeds. It just means that everything we do is tainted because of sin. That simply means that even our best deeds fall short of the glory of God. There is always some conscious or unconscious "self" in those deeds. If it is not 100% God ward, then even a 1% of "self" ward motive taints it.

So, keep doing all the good you can for others out of love for them and especially to glorify God and forget about "feeling good" about yourself. Remember what John the Baptist said:
Joh 3:30 He must increase, but I must decrease.

 

[journeyman]

It feels like the more I dive into learning about God, the more numb I get. When I first decided to turn away from atheism, I was overjoyed. I felt a euphoria that I had only previously felt after taking medication. Except it felt much better and didn't just fade away later in the day. I could honestly say that I felt happy. However, that feeling did go away. I didn't mind because you can't be happy all the time. But things only seem to have gotten "less happy" after that.

1) I was starting to turn away from violent and sexual imagery (TV, movies, games). But then I watched religious videos where people said that those things didn't matter as long as you don't cause your brother to stumble (or fall, or something like that). So I fell back into watching that sort of stuff.

2) I have always been someone who wanted to do good deeds just for the sake of it. But then the Bible says that our righteous acts are like filthy rags. So that kinda killed the buzz for me too. What makes it even more confusing is that people say that when your relationship with God strengthens, you'll be compelled to do good deeds. But we're told they're like filthy rags.

3) For the past week or so I had been feeling so anxious about whether I would make it into heaven or not. It was all I could think about. It consumed most of my thoughts. I even watched several videos about assurance. But then I watched a video from someone who gives prophetic messages. He said that God wants us to stop overthinking things. This resonated with me because I am a huge overthinker. It seems to have worked because I'm not longer freaking out. But now I worry that I'm too numb. Now I'm worried that I've sorta "turned off my heart". Is this a bad sign?

Hello QuestionGuy.
Becoming numb or unfeeling is a bad thing. Some folks who studied the scriptures their whole lives didn't know our Lord because they wouldn't walk with Him in His light,

For not the hearers of the law are just before God, but the doers of the law shall be justified. Rom.2:13 KJV
But be ye doers of the word and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves. Jas.1:22 KJV

...then shall thy light rise in obscurity and thy darkness be as the noonday: Isa.58:10 KJV

 

[Christ_empowered]

Maybe you’re overwhelmed?

 

[Josef]

It feels like the more I dive into learning about God, the more numb I get. When I first decided to turn away from atheism, I was overjoyed. I felt a euphoria that I had only previously felt after taking medication. Except it felt much better and didn't just fade away later in the day. I could honestly say that I felt happy. However, that feeling did go away. I didn't mind because you can't be happy all the time. But things only seem to have gotten "less happy" after that.

1) I was starting to turn away from violent and sexual imagery (TV, movies, games). But then I watched religious videos where people said that those things didn't matter as long as you don't cause your brother to stumble (or fall, or something like that). So I fell back into watching that sort of stuff.


2) I have always been someone who wanted to do good deeds just for the sake of it. But then the Bible says that our righteous acts are like filthy rags. So that kinda killed the buzz for me too. What makes it even more confusing is that people say that when your relationship with God strengthens, you'll be compelled to do good deeds. But we're told they're like filthy rags.


3) For the past week or so I had been feeling so anxious about whether I would make it into heaven or not. It was all I could think about. It consumed most of my thoughts. I even watched several videos about assurance. But then I watched a video from someone who gives prophetic messages. He said that God wants us to stop overthinking things. This resonated with me because I am a huge overthinker. It seems to have worked because I'm not longer freaking out. But now I worry that I'm too numb. Now I'm worried that I've sorta "turned off my heart". Is this a bad sign?

Hey All,
Let's think about your points of concern QuestionGuy.

You are starting to mature in your faith. The euphoria is giving way.

2 Corinthians 5:7 (For we walk by faith, not by sight

We do not have to feel God, to know He is there. I will say this; you should have a lasting joy in your heart. That doesn't mean we walk around with a stupid grin on our faces. It means that no matter what happens, wherever we go, however bad we screw things up, God loves us. We can never lose God's love. That should bring a quiet comfort and joy to our hearts. If you are missing your joy, that is an indicator that you have unresolved sin in your life.

How do you fix it?
Ask for forgiveness, make amends where possible, find that straight and narrow way, put on the full armor of God, and keep walking.

Now to your concerns:

"1) I was starting to turn away from violent and sexual imagery (TV, movies, games). But then I watched religious videos where people said that those things didn't matter as long as you don't cause your brother to stumble (or fall, or something like that). So I fell back into watching that sort of stuff." Quote from QuestionGuy

You are listening to foolish people. Anybody that tells you sin doesn't matter, is automatically wrong. That sin is causing you to stumble. It is also causing your numbness. Turn away again, and this time, don't let anyone tell you sin doesn't matter. Ask for forgiveness. Pray for strength, each day, to keep you from turning back. Each night, before you sleep, thank God for keeping you from this sin. Make yourself accountable to God every day. It will change your attitude if you know you have to come to God each day and give an account. You may find that you are sinning less, because your love for God supercedes your love for sin.

"2) I have always been someone who wanted to do good deeds just for the sake of it. But then the Bible says that our righteous acts are like filthy rags. So that kinda killed the buzz for me too. What makes it even more confusing is that people say that when your relationship with God strengthens, you'll be compelled to do good deeds. But we're told they're like filthy rags." Quote from QuestionGuy


2 Corinthians 4:6-7 For God, who commanded the light to shine out of darkness, hath shined in our hearts, to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ.
But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellency of the power may be of God, and not of us.

God uses my imperfection, my darkness. God's light shines in our hearts and, if we are walking the walk, gives light and knowledge of God's glory. Our imperfection shows the power is God's, and not ours. That's pretty cool! God left me the way I am, a sinner saved by grace through faith in Jesus, so He can shine through my sin, my imperfection, my "filthy rags."
So don't let what you are be an excuse to not help others. In fact, you want to restore your joy. Give the hungry something to eat. Give a hand to someone in need. This can be the making amends part of repentance. If you are doing this, you will reduce the idle time on your hands and thereby reduce the sin in your life.

1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

It means your "filthy rags" have been washed clean. This is how God sees you. This is what allows you to do the will of God.

Try it.

"3) For the past week or so I had been feeling so anxious about whether I would make it into heaven or not. It was all I could think about. It consumed most of my thoughts. I even watched several videos about assurance. But then I watched a video from someone who gives prophetic messages. He said that God wants us to stop overthinking things. This resonated with me because I am a huge overthinker. It seems to have worked because I'm not longer freaking out. But now I worry that I'm too numb. Now I'm worried that I've sorta "turned off my heart". Is this a bad sign?" Quote from QuestionGuy

You found someone who told you what you want to hear. Quit turning to people who tell you "you are OK" when you know know what they are saying is wrong. They just want your money. They don't care about how you feel. And now you feel numb.
Are you surprised?
If you are a believer, then you don't need to worry about the security of your salvation.

John 10:27-30 My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me:
And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand.
My Father, which gave them me, is greater than all; and no man is able to pluck them out of my Father's hand.
I and my Father are one.

Nobody can take you away from Jesus. His voice is reflected in Scripture. Read it every day , even if it only a verse or two. As you do you will start to understand what it says. Keep a dictionary close by to look up words you don't understand; or just Google the word followed by define.

Finally, you have to walk your walk.
Nobody can do it for you.

Psalms 3:3 But thou, O LORD, art a shield for me; my glory, and the lifter up of mine head.

Matthew 7:14
Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it.

Ephesians 6:13 Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.

Psalms 23:4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

Resolve the sin that creates your numbness.
God will lift your head.
Find that straight and narrow way.
Put on the full armor of God.
Walk.

Now, you want the secret to doing this?

To accomplish this, we have to love God with every fiber of our being, and love others as much as we love ourselves.

Luke 10:27
And he answering said, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy strength, and with all thy mind; and thy neighbour as thyself.

Don't quit. Don't give up.

Keep walking everybody.
May God bless,
Taz

 

[QuestionGuy]

Maybe you’re overwhelmed?

That may be the case.

Hey All,
Let's think about your points of concern QuestionGuy.

You are starting to mature in your faith. The euphoria is giving way.

2 Corinthians 5:7 (For we walk by faith, not by sight

We do not have to feel God, to know He is there. I will say this; you should have a lasting joy in your heart. That doesn't mean we walk around with a stupid grin on our faces. It means that no matter what happens, wherever we go, however bad we screw things up, God loves us. We can never lose God's love. That should bring a quiet comfort and joy to our hearts. If you are missing your joy, that is an indicator that you have unresolved sin in your life.

How do you fix it?
Ask for forgiveness, make amends where possible, find that straight and narrow way, put on the full armor of God, and keep walking.

Now to your concerns:

"1) I was starting to turn away from violent and sexual imagery (TV, movies, games). But then I watched religious videos where people said that those things didn't matter as long as you don't cause your brother to stumble (or fall, or something like that). So I fell back into watching that sort of stuff." Quote from QuestionGuy

You are listening to foolish people. Anybody that tells you sin doesn't matter, is automatically wrong. That sin is causing you to stumble. It is also causing your numbness. Turn away again, and this time, don't let anyone tell you sin doesn't matter. Ask for forgiveness. Pray for strength, each day, to keep you from turning back. Each night, before you sleep, thank God for keeping you from this sin. Make yourself accountable to God every day. It will change your attitude if you know you have to come to God each day and give an account. You may find that you are sinning less, because your love for God supercedes your love for sin.

"2) I have always been someone who wanted to do good deeds just for the sake of it. But then the Bible says that our righteous acts are like filthy rags. So that kinda killed the buzz for me too. What makes it even more confusing is that people say that when your relationship with God strengthens, you'll be compelled to do good deeds. But we're told they're like filthy rags." Quote from QuestionGuy


2 Corinthians 4:6-7 For God, who commanded the light to shine out of darkness, hath shined in our hearts, to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ.
But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellency of the power may be of God, and not of us.

God uses my imperfection, my darkness. God's light shines in our hearts and, if we are walking the walk, gives light and knowledge of God's glory. Our imperfection shows the power is God's, and not ours. That's pretty cool! God left me the way I am, a sinner saved by grace through faith in Jesus, so He can shine through my sin, my imperfection, my "filthy rags."
So don't let what you are be an excuse to not help others. In fact, you want to restore your joy. Give the hungry something to eat. Give a hand to someone in need. This can be the making amends part of repentance. If you are doing this, you will reduce the idle time on your hands and thereby reduce the sin in your life.

1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

It means your "filthy rags" have been washed clean. This is how God sees you. This is what allows you to do the will of God.

Try it.

"3) For the past week or so I had been feeling so anxious about whether I would make it into heaven or not. It was all I could think about. It consumed most of my thoughts. I even watched several videos about assurance. But then I watched a video from someone who gives prophetic messages. He said that God wants us to stop overthinking things. This resonated with me because I am a huge overthinker. It seems to have worked because I'm not longer freaking out. But now I worry that I'm too numb. Now I'm worried that I've sorta "turned off my heart". Is this a bad sign?" Quote from QuestionGuy

You found someone who told you what you want to hear. Quit turning to people who tell you "you are OK" when you know know what they are saying is wrong. They just want your money. They don't care about how you feel. And now you feel numb.
Are you surprised?
If you are a believer, then you don't need to worry about the security of your salvation.

John 10:27-30 My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me:
And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand.
My Father, which gave them me, is greater than all; and no man is able to pluck them out of my Father's hand.
I and my Father are one.

Nobody can take you away from Jesus. His voice is reflected in Scripture. Read it every day , even if it only a verse or two. As you do you will start to understand what it says. Keep a dictionary close by to look up words you don't understand; or just Google the word followed by define.

Finally, you have to walk your walk.
Nobody can do it for you.

Psalms 3:3 But thou, O LORD, art a shield for me; my glory, and the lifter up of mine head.

Matthew 7:14
Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it.

Ephesians 6:13 Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.

Psalms 23:4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

Resolve the sin that creates your numbness.
God will lift your head.
Find that straight and narrow way.
Put on the full armor of God.
Walk.

Now, you want the secret to doing this?

To accomplish this, we have to love God with every fiber of our being, and love others as much as we love ourselves.

Luke 10:27
And he answering said, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy strength, and with all thy mind; and thy neighbour as thyself.

Don't quit. Don't give up.

Keep walking everybody.
May God bless,
Taz

Thank you!

 

[citrus]

We are saved, we are being saved and you will be saved. We can't earn salvation, but we have to work it out. Maybe sometime we may think dying is easy, but in reality it is living it that can be hard. You have to squeeze grapes to get wine. Its the same. It's a process. We are a threat towards Satan. He is going to try to make sure you don't receive or recognize God's blessings. Reality is not always a pretty picture. It's hard and we can't rely on feelings. There is going to be opposition no matter what in life. Life has so many challenges and it is very hard and I believe harder without God. Something you have, someone else is praying for. Maybe God is trying to help you to do good works and be fruitful. We are easy to seek comfort. We get to comfortable. We are creatures of habit and have to have something that stays the same. Maybe your afraid if you don't than you will be someone your not, but that is growth. You don't loose yourself on it, you just change for the better. It's never easy, but rewarding. Everyone experiences numbness at times or like his presence isn't there, but Emanuel means God is with us and sees the big picture and gives you opportunity to bless others in whatever cones your way. Even if it is just a gift of communicating with someone.

 

[journeyman]

QuestionGuy,
In my last post, I meant it's a bad thing for us to become numb towards people who make fun of us for our faith.

 

[for_his_glory]

1) I was starting to turn away from violent and sexual imagery (TV, movies, games). But then I watched religious videos where people said that those things didn't matter as long as you don't cause your brother to stumble (or fall, or something like that). So I fell back into watching that sort of stuff.

Sorry, but those things do matter to God as He wants us to live a pure life separate from the rudiments of this world. Never believe man who is taught separate from the Holy Spirit teaching them first.

Gal 5:16 This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh.
Gal 5:17 For the flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh: and these are contrary the one to the other: so that ye cannot do the things that ye would.
Gal 5:18 But if ye be led of the Spirit, ye are not under the law.
Gal 5:19 Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness,
Gal 5:20 Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies,
Gal 5:21 Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.
Gal 5:22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,
Gal 5:23 Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.
Gal 5:24 And they that are Christ's have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts.

2) I have always been someone who wanted to do good deeds just for the sake of it. But then the Bible says that our righteous acts are like filthy rags. So that kinda killed the buzz for me too. What makes it even more confusing is that people say that when your relationship with God strengthens, you'll be compelled to do good deeds. But we're told they're like filthy rags.

Our righteousness is as a filthy rag when it comes to own own works to be seen of men, but do all things unto the Lord, Matthew 25:35-46.

Isa 64:6 But we are all as an unclean thing, and all our righteousnesses are as filthy rags; and we all do fade as a leaf; and our iniquities, like the wind, have taken us away.
Isa 64:7 And there is none that calleth upon thy name, that stirreth up himself to take hold of thee: for thou hast hid thy face from us, and hast consumed us, because of our iniquities.
Isa 64:8 But now, O LORD, thou art our father; we are the clay, and thou our potter; and we all are the work of thy hand.

Col 3:23 And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men;
Col 3:24 Knowing that of the Lord ye shall receive the reward of the inheritance: for ye serve the Lord Christ.

Mat 6:1 Take heed that ye do not your alms before men, to be seen of them: otherwise ye have no reward of your Father which is in heaven.
Mat 6:2 Therefore when thou doest thine alms, do not sound a trumpet before thee, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may have glory of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.
Mat 6:3 But when thou doest alms, let not thy left hand know what thy right hand doeth:
Mat 6:4 That thine alms may be in secret: and thy Father which seeth in secret himself shall reward thee openly.

3) For the past week or so I had been feeling so anxious about whether I would make it into heaven or not. It was all I could think about. It consumed most of my thoughts. I even watched several videos about assurance. But then I watched a video from someone who gives prophetic messages. He said that God wants us to stop overthinking things. This resonated with me because I am a huge overthinker. It seems to have worked because I'm not longer freaking out. But now I worry that I'm too numb. Now I'm worried that I've sorta "turned off my heart". Is this a bad sign?

As long as you are Spiritually born again from above and indwelled with the Holy Spirit their is Spiritual life in you. The word water in the below scripture means the word of God. You are letting Satan plant doubt that causes one to worry, but if you are trusting in the Lord then remember greater is He (God) that is in you then he (Satan) who is in the world. Quit relying on videos and get back in the word of God allowing the Holy Spirit teach you all truths.

1Jn 4:1 Beloved, believe not every spirit, but try the spirits whether they are of God: because many false prophets are gone out into the world.
1Jn 4:2 Hereby know ye the Spirit of God: Every spirit that confesseth that Jesus Christ is come in the flesh is of God:
1Jn 4:3 And every spirit that confesseth not that Jesus Christ is come in the flesh is not of God: and this is that spirit of antichrist, whereof ye have heard that it should come; and even now already is it in the world.
1Jn 4:4 Ye are of God, little children, and have overcome them: because greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world.

John 4:14 But whosoever drinketh of the water that I shall give him shall never thirst; but the water that I shall give him shall be in him a well of water springing up into everlasting life.

 

[citrus]

1 John 3:20 if are thoughts and heart condemns itself God is greater than that.

 

[citrus]

I say this a lot, but I think this is where some people are new Christians. It's not about being perfect. When we become a Christian you recieve a new nature. It's referred to or called, born again. Like I said it isn't about being perfect. It's about abiding (the positive definition). The goal is: abiding, glorifying God, seek and acknowledge his presence even when we don't "feel it. " and enjoy his presence. God sees Jesus not our righteousness. He sees Jesus which becomes our righteousness. We are not saved by our works, they are like filthy rags, but we accept God. We still have to work out our salvation. It's a process. Again, we are saved, being saved and will be saved. Out of our hearts and compassion people will see God's work and fruit (symbolic) in our lives. God is our heavenly father and he already knows our sin. When we were sinners he still loved us. He wants us to come to him. The bible says with confidence. He wants what is best in our lives. We therefore, abide. One day every one will be judged by God. He is a just God. When we seek his standards we remain free from sins bondage. It's a relationship. Alot of this generation hears that, but doesn't understand it because they are so quick to not work out problems in their relationships. Keep the pursuit. Keep praying. Satan likes to cause all this pain in our lives, but there is no suffering and pain in heaven God is not the bad guy. Satan is. One day he to will be judged, but he will never be free. Mo matter how hard life is, there is eternal life. Keep the faith and lean on God's righteousness and the mercy he gave us to have a relationship with God. Life is hard. We are waiting for people to receive salvation. One day they won't have that chance. Everyone will have the opportunity.