Is He even close, active?

[WhereisHe?]

The chance you will understand the condition of my heart is low, but my soul is crying and I don’t know how to comfort it.

I read a lot of scriptures. I had to do it in order to keep it in my heart. But after a lot of reading, my heart started to change, to a point that I had to stop reading.
All the words I ever read and believed, I wanted them to be true, not just in my understanding, but in real life. My heart and soul started to thirst, think of things I did not know could be true and possible. I started to desire something I don’t know, I started to dream and desire to heal broken people. I’d close my eyes and imagine it. I started to question what it really means to know the truth, and what it really is, because all I read was not happening in my life and around me. Jesus stole my heart, and eventually my life - I can’t stop thinking of Him. But my desires that are not even my own, are not being fulfilled. I cannot remove them. Everyday I expect God, every day I go to sleep with sadness, that comes from a real thirst of Him, my belief and faith what He can do, yet nothing. Why is He so inactive, my soul asketh. I wanted to stop believe, I stop reading, but my soul is so uncontrollable, refusing to be calmed down, I’ve never gone through it, it’s like a thing that keeps seeking, you say calm down, take a rest, but it keeps seeking. You are tired of this guessing game, strong desires. It’s so overwhelming I’d wish to stop the strong feeling in me, and just forget.

I don’t want my own life. I’m too aware how life is short. I crave to be a living sacrifice, I can’t think otherwise anymore. I want people to really know the Creator, I want Christians not be confused what Jesus’ words mean. I want plain truth, plain Jesus. Oh, how I wish one soul would underhand, where my words come from.

 

[WhereisHe?]

After reading your message, it seems you may be eagerly seeking some spiritual achievement or tangible evidence. However, this isn’t how things unfold.

Right now, you’re receiving exactly what you need for your personal growth—not necessarily what you wish for, but what is essential for your development. We must always be willing to set aside our immediate desires to embrace our true responsibilities, which often requires sacrifice. Yet, at the end of this journey, you’ll uncover a completely new perspective. You’ll come to understand that the guiding hand behind our life events has a far greater vision than we do, and we must remain open to its lessons. No personal plan or expectation can match the depth of its wisdom.

In summary, be patient.

I understand, and that’s what I’ve been saying to others all the time. But these are not my desires, I don’t want them for myself. If I could I’d deny them, because they are too strong in me. Why God, why you don’t let others understand.

 

[LOOKING]

Why God, why you don’t let others understand.

What exactly are you hoping to find? I’m not sure what it is that you want.

 

[Vaccine]

The chance you will understand the condition of my heart is low, but my soul is crying and I don’t know how to comfort it.

I read a lot of scriptures. I had to do it in order to keep it in my heart. But after a lot of reading, my heart started to change, to a point that I had to stop reading.
All the words I ever read and believed, I wanted them to be true, not just in my understanding, but in real life. My heart and soul started to thirst, think of things I did not know could be true and possible. I started to desire something I don’t know, I started to dream and desire to heal broken people. I’d close my eyes and imagine it. I started to question what it really means to know the truth, and what it really is, because all I read was not happening in my life and around me. Jesus stole my heart, and eventually my life - I can’t stop thinking of Him. But my desires that are not even my own, are not being fulfilled. I cannot remove them. Everyday I expect God, every day I go to sleep with sadness, that comes from a real thirst of Him, my belief and faith what He can do, yet nothing. Why is He so inactive, my soul asketh. I wanted to stop believe, I stop reading, but my soul is so uncontrollable, refusing to be calmed down, I’ve never gone through it, it’s like a thing that keeps seeking, you say calm down, take a rest, but it keeps seeking. You are tired of this guessing game, strong desires. It’s so overwhelming I’d wish to stop the strong feeling in me, and just forget.

I don’t want my own life. I’m too aware how life is short. I crave to be a living sacrifice, I can’t think otherwise anymore. I want people to really know the Creator, I want Christians not be confused what Jesus’ words mean. I want plain truth, plain Jesus. Oh, how I wish one soul would underhand, where my words come from.

I can speak for myself and my family. Jesus has been close everyday for sometime now. It's like one of those perspective art pieces or hidden 3d images in the color palette. Once you see it you can't unsee it. Once we found that connection to Jesus, we can't undo it. We feel his presence every day of our lives. We're blessed enough to have seen angels and have Jesus talk to us in our dreams.
My wife has had numerous health issues, which we all pray for regularly. We understand she may never be healed and it keeps us humble. We know she's living on borrowed time so we're all grateful for every day. We have found His grace is sufficient for us.

"especially because of the extraordinary revelations. Therefore, so that I would not exalt myself, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, a messenger of Satan to torment me so that I would not exalt myself. Concerning this, I pleaded with the Lord three times that it would leave me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is perfected in weakness.” 2 Corinthians 12:7-9