Is It Really That Wrong For Adults and Minors to Just Hangout Together?

[HeIsRisen2018]

I just mean being friends. Sure it would cause questions to come up if the child was ten and the adult was forty,.. but if it was a fifteen year old being friends with a twenty-three year old, that actually sounds pretty normal to me.

 

[Bull of the Woods]

I guess it wouldn't be abnormal for the 15 year old to admire an older person.
If the older person is intentionally mentoring the younger one, helping them develop as a person in a healthy way that could be a good thing if done very carefully.
But there would be a troubling thing if a 23 year old actually feels they are equals in maturity, and its a mutually beneficial relationship.
There could be exceptions or specific instances that are ok. In general I would wonder about the maturity and wisdom of the older person.

 

[HeIsRisen2018]

I guess it wouldn't be abnormal for the 15 year old to admire an older person.
If the older person is intentionally mentoring the younger one, helping them develop as a person in a healthy way that could be a good thing if done very carefully.
But there would be a troubling thing if a 23 year old actually feels they are equals in maturity, and its a mutually beneficial relationship.
There could be exceptions or specific instances that are ok. In general I would wonder about the maturity and wisdom of the older person.

I agree with the maturity thing, but having a fifteen year old and a twenty-three year old go to the movies or bowling or something like that just having fun together I really don't see an issue with. And yes it would also help if they could admire and look up to the older person.

 

[Bull of the Woods]

It would depend on the character and purpose the 23 year old has. It should also matter a lot what the younger person's parents think.
There should be extreme accountability and careful investigation of why the older person wants to do something like that.
A long time ago I was 23. I would not have hung out with a 15 year old. My brother is seven years younger than me. I would not have hung out with him if he was just someone I knew and not my brother.
Even as my brother we had very little in the way of common interests.
I did take him on day hikes.

 

[HeIsRisen2018]

It would depend on the character and purpose the 23 year old has. It should also matter a lot what the younger person's parents think.
There should be extreme accountability and careful investigation of why the older person wants to do something like that.
A long time ago I was 23. I would not have hung out with a 15 year old. My brother is seven years younger than me. I would not have hung out with him if he was just someone I knew and not my brother.
Even as my brother we had very little in the way of common interests.
I did take him on day hikes.

Well yes, obviously it would depend on what the parents of the fifteen year old say, but I think you're automatically assuming that these two people in this hypothetical situation are different genders. What if they were the same gender? I know you just stated that if your brother had not been your brother you would not have hung out with him but still,.. I would think it would be even less of a problem if they were the same gender.

 

[JohnDB]

We usually call it babysitting or something like that. Mentoring programs do this as well.

It isn't considered wrong.

Teens are supposed to go to adults for advice and discussion resulting in guidance.

Usually us old guys get 20-something kids to mentor.
Sometimes 30+ guys.

It isn't wrong. It's actually really right.

 

[Luminous_Rose]

I don't see anything strange about this exactly. I would want to know what the intentions are for each of them.

If I had a 15 year old girl and a 23 year old man wanted to take her bowling, I wouldn't agree. I would worry about the potential for abuse even with the same gender just because of how our world is.

This is a good question. If I were a teenager I would have said I have no issue with it, but as a parent I wouldn't be too thrilled with the arrangement.

 

[HeIsRisen2018]

I don't see anything strange about this exactly. I would want to know what the intentions are for each of them.

If I had a 15 year old girl and a 23 year old man wanted to take her bowling, I wouldn't agree. I would worry about the potential for abuse even with the same gender just because of how our world is.

This is a good question. If I were a teenager I would have said I have no issue with it, but as a parent I wouldn't be too thrilled with the arrangement.

Idk, I wouldn't really have a problem with it if I was a parent of a teenager,.. as long as I knew the adult really well.

 

[Luminous_Rose]

Idk, I wouldn't really have a problem with it if I was a parent of a teenager,.. as long as I knew the adult really well.

I would have agreed with you at 16, and perhaps even 23 years old before I was ever a parent. When we had kids, it has changed my perspective on a lot of things I didn't think it would. It is now a thing I am not sure I would even take a chance on even if the person's intentions were good. This is of course a personal decision for each parent to make as I am sure not everyone will agree.

 

[Bull of the Woods]

Well yes, obviously it would depend on what the parents of the fifteen year old say, but I think you're automatically assuming that these two people in this hypothetical situation are different genders. What if they were the same gender? I know you just stated that if your brother had not been your brother you would not have hung out with him but still,.. I would think it would be even less of a problem if they were the same gender.

I didn't use the example of my brother and I because I assume the two people are the same gender.

 

[HeIsRisen2018]

I didn't use the example of my brother and I because I assume the two people are the same gender.

Oh.