just me

[Oats]

is it just me or


I think that I may be gay. I was sexually abused as a child by a guy, the only close sensual friend i ever had was a guy

i tried talking to girls all my life but i got the cold shoulder everytime

and you probable don't care, but the only one i have who loves me is God

just because i'm on my meds doesn't mean i'll be a social push over

people hate the fact that i'm socially dominant so they push me aside without loving me


everyone thinks i'm stupid

so to everyone who thinks i need help

BACK OFF!

 

[stovebolts]

Oats,

It's common for somebody who was abused sexually as a child by the same sex to be attracted to the same sex as they grow older. It doesn't mean your gay, it just means that your trying to work out the conflict of what occurred when you were younger.

Most people view pedophiles as physically abusive and controlling, and some are. But by far most of them come across to their victims as loving and caring. In other words, they gain the trust of the child by "understanding" the child when nobody else seems to "understand" and the sexual relation is consensual only to the degree that the child is trying to please the perpetrator, even though they don't feel comfortable in the act. It's a trade off for for that one who "understands" them, and gives a since of care and possibly false sense of love.

And I think this may be why when a child who was molested by the same sex becomes attracted to the same sex because sex is so much more than physical, it's emotional too.

I read somewhere a long time ago, and I know I'm going to mess this up, but there are psychological developments that occur within a person at different ages where emotionally on a particualr front, the person is thrown back to an earlier age as to "work through" a stage of development that wasn't complete. I believe one stage is 9-10, then again around 12-13, then again around 17-18 or so give or take a year.

In therapy, you should be doing a lot of "earlier - similar" events to find what's triggering your emotional responses.

In other words, I wouldn't call you "Gay", I'd call you a person who's just trying to figure it all out...

Oh, btw, getting fired up about it IMO is healthier than being in apathy about it because when your in apathy, you view yourself as worthless. When your fired up about it, you've got the strength to work through it.

Grace and Peace.

 

[Oats]

whatever...life is a joke

i'm 19 going on 20 btw


but severely socially under developed according to your types

 

[stovebolts]

whatever...life is a joke

i'm 19 going on 20 btw


but severely socially under developed according to your types

Well, if life is a joke at least you can laugh about it Hey, what's life without a sense of humor? :waving

Your still young and have a full life ahead of you. Do I think your under developed? Who sets the bar anyway? I never liked labels personally.

Anyway, one thing I learned a long time ago is to never , or rarely assume because it can really get you into a lot of trouble. Did you know that misunderstandings are the cause of most conflicts? Ha, and we call them disagreements.

The bad thing about disagreements is that it leads to people digging their heels in the sand pointing the finger at the other person. But a misunderstanding, that's something that can be worked through with patience and understanding, or at least the desire to try and understand.

BTW, just because your on medication, doesn't mean your a bad person or that you can't do anything anyone else can. The feelings that you have toward the same sex isn't unique only to people who take meds... People who are not "diagnosed" with schizophrenia that were molested have the same thoughts and feelings your going through...

 

[lamplady]

Well you know one thing, God loves you ...