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Hi Warrior4Jesus,

It is great to meet you albeit in the cyber sense. Hopefully as we chat more as we all spend time together cyber friend is replaced with my friend.

I am so sorry and saddened for the negative words that you have received over the years. My sadness comes from those who should know better, our fellow Christians. Alas as sad as it is and to be honest as bad as it is fellow Christians shoot the wounded rather than allowing God to use them to bring healing.

The bible tells us that the tongue has the power of life and death and that is true.
I must admit at times I have been guilty of this and I seek the Lord desperately not to be like this. At times I have felt like saying to fellow Christians "Why don't you just shut your gob until you have something to say that is biblical, done in love and with a view to healing and restoration and points to the love of God as he expects us to love our neighbors as we love ourselves" and in fact I have said this on occasion using the word of God that brings correction when done in love.

I do think however that we need to careful when someone does come along side us to tell us that we got it wrong. Our interpretation of what is being said can be tainted by life experiences, self esteem and our theological upbringing.

We also need to be careful when we do the same to others.

I empathise with your thoughts of your life experiences. I empathise because even though I have not suffered the same circumstances that you have, I have suffered circumstances that bought me to the place that you are.

You said "What have I done wrong, what did I do to deserve this, why does he hide his face from me, why does he not help me, why does he hide his face from me and his goodness from me when it's the exact opposite of what his word said he would do" I lived those thoughts for 30 years.

Without wishing to sound pithy I had a t-shirt with the words above on it. I know longer have that t-shirt I burned it about 4 years ago, or should I say God ripped it off my back and gave me a new t-shirt with "Whose your Father, who loves you, who will never leave you or forsake you, who is available 24/7, who has forgiven your sin, who is it that will never condemn you, who is that you can sound off to, who is it that want to works in you to conform you to the image of my son Jesus, who do I love as much as I love Jesus, My son Bill it is you now let's do business"

Ok granted its a big t-shirt but I try to wear it every day.

My brother in Christ I do not presume that what set me free is that what ensnares you but I just want to quickly share what God worked in me.

Firstly there was a lot of unfogivenss in my heart. I had chosen to hold on pain and bitterness in my heart. I was thrown out by mum at 14, I was taken in by a Christian family and spent the next 4 years having my foster dad trying to sexually abuse evert night, that is 1460 days, 35,040 hours, 2,102,400 minutes, 126,144,000 seconds. For 30 years I lived every day, every hour, every minute, every second every day of those 30 years.

God said to me, Now let us deal with it, I said no, he said it 3 times and 3 times I said no, I said I'm not going to deal with it. Then he said "BILL LET US DEAL WITH IT, WHAT PART OF US DO YOU NOT GET, I AM GOING TO DEAL WITH IT BUT YOU NEED TO ALLOW ME TO HELP YOU" I let go and let God go with his plan. Good plan because it worked. My relationship with my mother is how it should be having forgiven her, I was able to be with my foster dad when he died having forgiven him. I wanted my foster dad to die so I could be free of him. Truth is I would not have been free if he had died, I would only be free having forgiven him before he died. Set free I was.

I had to question my theology. Why would God allow these things to happen if he loved me? So I had to rethink the theology/teaching that I was taught.

I realised that God never said that bad things would not happen to me. He never said I will protect you from sin of others but what I promise is that I will work good in all things that will happen to you.

I never promised to make the bad things that happened good, but will work good in those things, to release you and set you free from those things.

Sorry I've gone on a bit.
 
I really do think that the problem is mine. I have a oh woe is me attitude and there is nothing fruitful about it. Honestly though I don't know how to shake it. Every time I say to myself ok you can handle this Chris and shrug it off something else happens. Now comes the negative attitude of nothing good will happen and then BIG SURPRISE nothing good does. That's not God's fault but my own. So i'm a sinner and I'm no good for myself but God is good and he is here to help me. Yet I don't accept it because I'm still focusing on my own negativity and bad circumstances. How on earth do I break that vicious cycle? I will say this for all to see to know that I have asked. God in your Son Jesus' name I beg of you on my hands and knees tearing my clothes, please save me from this torment. You have placed your word in my heart and I know it but have problems with adhering to it like I should particularly in thoughts from the enemy I do not take captive. Please help me in Jesus name. Amen
 
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Hi Brother Warrior4Jesus, I just read the testimony of Wrg1405 above here where he suggested forgiveness as a possible cause of suffering in your life, and that can be true of us all. Even though it seems simple to count others I need help in forgiving, I think we can near always include ourselves in need of forgiving us too.

How does forgiveness work? It appears to release the hate; yes, pent up hate controlling near everything we do. A simple story I once heard my dear pastor tell follows here I hope will help you examine your inner thought toward everyone you know. In other words, can you personally pray for them individually until you know you love and want the best for them; it's not easy sometimes, but setting our attitudes toward freedom is what we're seeking. When we know we're free, and can love unconditionally Satan loses all control, and what a release that can be to living free again.
How to forgive someone you hate. :)
There was the supposedly true story of a man that hated another person in the church he attended so much, he would cross the street to avoid coming face to face with them. Let’s call him Eugene.

The hatred grew worse to the point of wanting to quit attending the assembly, and he finally talked to the pastor about it. The pastor told him that he knew how to fix it, but that he knew the man asking wouldn’t do it.

Oh yes I will pastor, I will do anything to get rid of this hate. No you wouldn’t - Yes I will. Okay I want you to go home tonight and pray for Eugene for God to bless him before you go to sleep, and then first thing in the morning you do the same every day, and continue that for two weeks.

I will not do that! :grumpy I knew you wouldn’t. :) Well I promised I would, and I will. :crying (avatar faces inserted for effect, and I don’t know if I’m telling it right).

That night: God please bless Eugene; ….. …..God You know I don’t mean that, I hate that guy, and he goes to bed mad. The next morning was more of the same, but as the days went by the hardness in him began to soften, the prayers became longer, and the hurt he felt became less.

By the end of the two weeks, he again went to his pastor with a smile on his face and said, you were right pastor, I want Eugene blessed more than anyone I know, and the hate is gone.

I liked the story, because it helped me to understand some of what Jesus prayed for us, even though we didn’t deserve it either.
 
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Hi fella,

I think in a sense you have hit the nail on the head. I'm not a trained psychologist or counsellor.

I think you are right the problem is yours and it is fuelled by the woe is me attitude. Chris you say "ok I can handle this" Can you, are you?

You mention your negative attitude and surprise nothing good happens. It never will, do you feel worthy that God wants to work in you and help you?

You say God is here to help you, what is here to help you with?

Jesus asked for his torment to be taken away to be saved from it. God said no, it must happen, and it happened for a reason.

You say I'm a sinner and am no good for myself but God is good and here to help me.

Let's put some truth, as far as God is concerned you are not a sinner, yes you sin but he does not look on you as a sinner but as his precious child, he loves you with an everlasting love, your sins have been removed as far as the east is from the west. I know you do not want bible verses quoted but I ask you to read Psalm 103.

So focus on the positive if you can. Hey my friend he loves you as much as he loves Jesus. You have been given the Holy Spirit who testifies this truth.

That is why Jesus died for us. He died to restore our relationship to the Father. That relationship does not mean that all torment will be taken away. What it does mean is that when we trust God during this torment he will work.

Focus on the goodness of God, he has saved you. Negative thoughts are not from God, if they are not from God where are they coming from?

Father I pray for Chris. I pray that he knows in his heart that you are not against him but you are for him. May he know that you love him so much. I pray also that he knows that Jesus is interceding for him right now. May he focus on Jesus in his thoughts and what Jesus says about him. Jesus said that you love him as much as the Fathee loves you. That's truth and you are not a liar. May that be his focus. May Chris focus on this when he goes to bed, when he wakes up in the morning. If he wakes up in the night may his focus be the same. May know that there is hope in your name. May he know that he is truly forgiven.

In Jesus name.
 
Eugene said:
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Hi Brother Warrior4Jesus, I just read the testimony of Wrg1405 above here where he suggested forgiveness as a possible cause of suffering in your life, and that can be true of us all. Even though it seems simple to count others I need help in forgiving, I think we can near always include ourselves in need of forgiving us too.

How does forgiveness work? It appears to release the hate; yes, pent up hate controlling near everything we do. A simple story I once heard my dear pastor tell follows here I hope will help you examine your inner thought toward everyone you know. In other words, can you personally pray for them individually until you know you love and want the best for them; it's not easy sometimes, but setting our attitudes toward freedom is what we're seeking. When we know we're free, and can love unconditionally Satan loses all control, and what a release that can be to living free again.
How to forgive someone you hate. :)
There was the supposedly true story of a man that hated another person in the church he attended so much, he would cross the street to avoid coming face to face with them. Let’s call him Eugene.

The hatred grew worse to the point of wanting to quit attending the assembly, and he finally talked to the pastor about it. The pastor told him that he knew how to fix it, but that he knew the man asking wouldn’t do it.

Oh yes I will pastor, I will do anything to get rid of this hate. No you wouldn’t - Yes I will. Okay I want you to go home tonight and pray for Eugene for God to bless him before you go to sleep, and then first thing in the morning you do the same every day, and continue that for two weeks.

I will not do that! :grumpy I knew you wouldn’t. :) Well I promised I would, and I will. :crying (avatar faces inserted for effect, and I don’t know if I’m telling it right).

That night: God please bless Eugene; ….. …..God You know I don’t mean that, I hate that guy, and he goes to bed mad. The next morning was more of the same, but as the days went by the hardness in him began to soften, the prayers became longer, and the hurt he felt became less.

By the end of the two weeks, he again went to his pastor with a smile on his face and said, you were right pastor, I want Eugene blessed more than anyone I know, and the hate is gone.

I liked the story, because it helped me to understand some of what Jesus prayed for us, even though we didn’t deserve it either.
Click to expand...
Eugene,

One thing I did not mention related to what you just said. When I allowed God to work in me to forgive he asked me to go meet him. I was still in touch but only because of my foster mum. When I went and was sat before him I was praying I forgive you. As I prayed more my focus changed. I found myself praying for him. I saw pain in his eyes. As I prayed silently his face became contorted and he said "The only reason I have lived this long is because God wants to punish me"I
I found my focus shifted and said "No God had already punished you through Jesus"
 
I too think Christians can be too harsh at times. I think...well, I think sometimes Christians (it seems more Protestant than Catholic) confuse American values with Christian morality. They're really not the same. I promise you.

In 21st century American culture, nobody wants to hear your problems. Not even your so-called "friends." That's why we have an army of counselors, therapists, psychologists, and...should the talk fail...psychiatrists. I mean, yeah, some of us do need meds no matter what (I'm one of them), but I think a lot of "depression" could be avoided if people would just get real with each other and have real conversations and real friendships.

I'll quit rambling and get off my soap box now, lol. I've benefitted from the help and advice of a number of people here, and its ongoing. People here have seen me through the pits up to now, when I've miraculously recovered from heavy (involuntary) shock treatments. That's huge.

I haven't been through exactly what you've been through, but trust me...there's enogh trial and tribulations to go around in this crazy world of ours.
 
In 21st century American culture, nobody wants to hear your problems. Not even your so-called "friends." That's why we have an army of counselors, therapists, psychologists, and...should the talk fail...psychiatrists. I mean, yeah, some of us do need meds no matter what (I'm one of them), but I think a lot of "depression" could be avoided if people would just get real with each other and have real conversations and real friendships.

I think in any clulture nobody wants to hear your problems. Over here in good old Blighty we have what is called the 'British stiff upper lip' basically that means just go on with it, just get on with life.

How many times have you noticed when some one asks you how you are they don't actually wait for the answer, carry on with what they are doing or don't even hear you?

I did a test for a while. When someone asked me how was I, how you doing I responded with not too good. The responses were (and sometimes there was no response) to carry on with what they are doing, or just ok. I even had a couple of responses of glad to hear that (they asked the question but didn't register the answer, I presume because they were pre occupied or it was a courtesy question only.

Anyway I think that as people we can be so self absorbed that nobody else matters but only ourselves.

I think this is where we as believers, those of us who love Jesus and want to be like him can really make a difference.

Jesus told us to love one another as I have loved you, love your neighbour as you love yourself. When we do this we show Jesus and they will see him.

Let's be honest what do psychiatrists, counsellors and the like do? They allow someone to speak whilst they listen then give advice, albeit it secular.

I agree with you, if were real with others and had real friendships then this would go a long way to helping others who suffer with depression and all its baggage.

We listen whilst they talk, sometimes we can be led to say nothing but just listen, sometimes the Holy Spirit gives something to say.

God bless
 
We bring our burdens to the Lord, but many us us take them right back after we pray. The torments of our thoughts and the devastation of our past haunts us continually. We allow ourselves to be beaten down so low that in all reality who would want to befriend such a miserable soul. There is no light of Christ shining through us as we allow that light of Christ be suppressed within us. Darkness engulfs us and the storm rages on. There seems to be no ladder to help climb out of the pit we allowed ourselves to fall in because we are blinded of that ladder that truly is there, but feel it is beyond our reach.

We have the scriptures in our mind, but not in our heart for if we did then we would see Gods redeeming grace. We would rather reflect on all the problems instead of the solution to our problems. How do we approach the solution one might ask and the answer is in the quietness of the hour we need the Lord the most. It's called sucking dirt before we can actually look upwards to see that light that has all the answers. In the quiet hour is where God reaches out to us as we remain silent and allow Him time to speak to our heart. Full restoration comes from God as when we forgive others including our own misgivings God also forgives our sin and not only forgives, but gives us a fresh start in life.

We receive a new beginning just as a newborn brought into the world as we grow in the nourishment of the Holy Spirit feeding us, guiding us and sealing us until the day of redemption. We take baby steps until we walk in full maturity as God plants our feet on that straight and narrow path. When we stumble God will pick us up again as that is His grace that loves us unconditionally. With this new beginning we no longer have a past, but focus on the path before us as we walk in the fullness of God and lean not unto our own understanding, but by faith we allow our relationship with Christ grow into a personal relationship that is ours and ours alone.

We have to empty the garbage and God will clean out the can so that light of Christ can shine through us that draws others to Him.

From one who has been to hell and back, you are in my prayers.
 
Warrior4Jesus said:
I really do think that the problem is mine. I have a oh woe is me attitude and there is nothing fruitful about it. Honestly though I don't know how to shake it. Every time I say to myself ok you can handle this Chris and shrug it off something else happens. Now comes the negative attitude of nothing good will happen and then BIG SURPRISE nothing good does. That's not God's fault but my own. So i'm a sinner and I'm no good for myself but God is good and he is here to help me. Yet I don't accept it because I'm still focusing on my own negativity and bad circumstances. How on earth do I break that vicious cycle? I will say this for all to see to know that I have asked. God in your Son Jesus' name I beg of you on my hands and knees tearing my clothes, please save me from this torment. You have placed your word in my heart and I know it but have problems with adhering to it like I should particularly in thoughts from the enemy I do not take captive. Please help me in Jesus name. Amen
Click to expand...
It really comes down to good or evil.

Negative people only WANT a positive from someone.

Why?

(So they can validate their negative's)

And a positive person is only LOOKING for a negative from someone.

Why?

(So that they can validate their positive's)
 
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