It sounds more like you desire to be a slave.
A slave? Not, I think, in the sense in which you're thinking of one. Instead, I'm a child of God, a loving bond-servant of righteousness in His kingdom, a fruit-bearing branch in the Vine who is Christ, a sheep belonging to the Good Shepherd, etc. All of these metaphors describe a Superior to inferior relationship, which is unavoidable when one is describing a relationship with God Almighty, Creator and Sustainer of Everything. Wanting to be what God created me to be, though, is not, as far as I can see, a bad thing. In fact, the more I live according to what God says to me in His word is my created purpose, the fuller, deeper and richer my life becomes.
Why be given life at all if we cannot live as we wish? We are given free will and then told not to use it, lest we end up in hell.
Why should you be free to do as you like with impunity in
God's universe?
God gave you life and the capacity to freely choose Him so that you might be able to enter into a genuine love-relationship with Him. Not the sappy, sentimental, semi-romantic nonsense that is often described by Christians today as a "love-relationship with God," but simply strongly desiring to know and live in communion with Him all the time. This is what you (and I) were made for; and when we live according to our God-centered design, desiring God above all else, we find in the pursuit of that desire eternal fulfillment, purpose and stability (that we can't find by any other means).
Anyway, our free will is given so that we might, in love, enjoy and commune with God as children, not puppets. It is unavoidable, though, that we should be able to not choose God when we are made capable of choosing Him; this is what making us capable of real love requires. You can't make a knife capable of carving wood into something beautiful that can't also penetrate and carve human flesh. So, too, our free agency. God intends it should bring about something beautiful - communion with Him - but in being able to do so, our free agency also possesses the capacity to produce great evil and ugliness.
But how are they their own god in hell?
There is this cartoonish idea folks have of hell being a fiery place where they're in the company of others, ruled over by demons who stick them with pitchforks and assign to them endless, onerous tasks. Not so. In God's word, eternal hell is described as the "darkness of blackness forever" (
Jude 1:13), and "outer darkness" (
Matthew 8:12), and the "mist of darkness" (
2 Peter 2:17), and a "lake of fire" (
Revelation 20:1), a place of "wailing and gnashing of teeth" (
Matthew 13:42). None of these descriptions suggest that humans and demons are associating with each other in hell in the manner of some "Far Side" cartoon.
No, the eternal punishment of the unrepentant wicked is being
alone with oneself for all of eternity, being one's sole occupation
forever. In this, God gives those who have loved themselves rather than Him and have made themselves their chief concern, not Him, what they want for all of eternity: An existence from which God is permanently removed. But when they get such an existence, it is necessarily empty of all the Life and Light, all the beauty, and goodness, and Truth that God is. In such a state, there is the loss of all well-being, the sinner left to derive from him/herself what can only come from God: Meaning, purpose, love, fellowship, joy, peace, etc. Too late, the proud rebel will realize that they can't be God, however much in their earthly life they behaved as though they were. They are too small, too finite, too weak and ignorant, to satisfy and fulfill themselves even for a short time, let alone for all of eternity. At their core is only naked, raw selfishness, which cannot produce anything but the rebellion, pride, darkness, delusion, despair and sin that marked their earthly existence and made them the enemy of God.
Because we can. Surely God is not swayed by my opinions. It doesn't stop me from having them.
Of course. You're free to have whatever rebellious notions you wish to have. And, no, God is not swayed by such notions, though He will demand from you an accounting for them one day.
Because I think my ideas are better. Eternal punishment for finite sins is evil. Torturing people is wrong. Especially when God can do anything else.
Thinking you're ideas are better than God's simply demonstrates how faulty a conception of God you possess.
All sin is ultimately against an
infinite God and, as such, warrants the eternal punishment He levies upon it. And being lovers of sin, steeped in sin from birth, surrounded by, and applauded in, our sin, we don't see our sin for what it truly is. The pig wallowing in the disgusting mire that it loves cannot understand why others find its wallowing abhorrent. But we get some idea of the truth about our wallowing in sin from the terrible judgment God renders upon it. We think God is over-reacting, but the truth is that we are hugely under-reacting to our sin - as one would expect from those entirely used to, and even loving, sin.
In any case, that God can "do anything else" in no way obliges Him to do so. It's His show; He can do whatever He wants, however He wants in the universe He made and sustains at every moment. And, of course, what we imagine He should do is no more what He should actually do than the ignorant, foolish imagining of a three-year-old ought to shape the conduct of their parent.