Christ_empowered
Member
- Oct 23, 2010
- 14,319
- 10,803
Put this one under Praise Report.
God has willed that I recover from heavy (involuntary) shock treatments, pill popping, a blow to the head during a botched mugging, and...life. A life that was more than wasted before Jesus saved me. I wonder...is it like my Pentecostal friend says, I made a decision for Christ? Or did Christ decide to save me by providing what I needed to believe upon Him and stick with it? I dunno. That question opens up a whole new can of worms, actually.
Point is...you know, when I was in the brain damaged, spirit-less haze, I thought recovery would be magical. I mean, for whatever reason, I assumed I'd be smart enough again and it would be an amazing, memorable event. I thought of it as moving backward...before the pills, the personal sins, the shocks, etc.
And now...I've recovered, and I see how wrong I was. There won't be a ticker tape parade. Today is another day for just about everybody, with all the prosaic stuff that goes along with another day in these United States. For me, its another day that The Lord hath made--rejoice and be glad in it. I'm getting there. I don't live in paranoid, angry, bitter misery. I'm not bleached teeth and perfect coif, gameshow host happy all the time, either...who is?
Recovery. From my own sins and...just...life. A terrible life, at that. I remember reading in an online version of The Catholic Encyclopedia (the RCC may or may not be correct, but they do have lots to say about just about everything...) that "suicide is the logical end to a life poorly lived." I almost ended my life on a couple of occasions, and The Lord saw me through. I had and have nothing to offer Him, not really, but...He did that (and other things) for me, even when I was deep in bondage and misery. Omni-benevolent...
So, yeah; this is where my real life starts. Life and that more abundantly, in Christ Jesus. I'm writing this as I take a breather from studying. I can actually learn and master new information, write well, and accept constructive criticism (I got a mid-B on a written assignment yesterday, complete with a helpful critique. Back in the day, my ego wouldn't withstand that. Now, I'm glad to have it...).
No parade. No fireworks. No celebration whatsoever. Another day. And...its not moving backwards, before I messed up, royally. Its moving forward, to a new place and time, with a whole new me (new creation in Christ Jesus) doing what the pre-recovery me could only dream of.
Praise Report. I care about other people, I care (increasingly...) what The Lord thinks of my thoughts and actions. I'm alive, healthy, smart enough for my goals, and I've grown up a lot since I got saved, all of 3 years 8 months ago. And I recovered, by God's grace, so I can have a life...however uneventful, however simple, however quiet. Life and that more abundantly in Christ Jesus.
God has willed that I recover from heavy (involuntary) shock treatments, pill popping, a blow to the head during a botched mugging, and...life. A life that was more than wasted before Jesus saved me. I wonder...is it like my Pentecostal friend says, I made a decision for Christ? Or did Christ decide to save me by providing what I needed to believe upon Him and stick with it? I dunno. That question opens up a whole new can of worms, actually.
Point is...you know, when I was in the brain damaged, spirit-less haze, I thought recovery would be magical. I mean, for whatever reason, I assumed I'd be smart enough again and it would be an amazing, memorable event. I thought of it as moving backward...before the pills, the personal sins, the shocks, etc.
And now...I've recovered, and I see how wrong I was. There won't be a ticker tape parade. Today is another day for just about everybody, with all the prosaic stuff that goes along with another day in these United States. For me, its another day that The Lord hath made--rejoice and be glad in it. I'm getting there. I don't live in paranoid, angry, bitter misery. I'm not bleached teeth and perfect coif, gameshow host happy all the time, either...who is?
Recovery. From my own sins and...just...life. A terrible life, at that. I remember reading in an online version of The Catholic Encyclopedia (the RCC may or may not be correct, but they do have lots to say about just about everything...) that "suicide is the logical end to a life poorly lived." I almost ended my life on a couple of occasions, and The Lord saw me through. I had and have nothing to offer Him, not really, but...He did that (and other things) for me, even when I was deep in bondage and misery. Omni-benevolent...
So, yeah; this is where my real life starts. Life and that more abundantly, in Christ Jesus. I'm writing this as I take a breather from studying. I can actually learn and master new information, write well, and accept constructive criticism (I got a mid-B on a written assignment yesterday, complete with a helpful critique. Back in the day, my ego wouldn't withstand that. Now, I'm glad to have it...).
No parade. No fireworks. No celebration whatsoever. Another day. And...its not moving backwards, before I messed up, royally. Its moving forward, to a new place and time, with a whole new me (new creation in Christ Jesus) doing what the pre-recovery me could only dream of.
Praise Report. I care about other people, I care (increasingly...) what The Lord thinks of my thoughts and actions. I'm alive, healthy, smart enough for my goals, and I've grown up a lot since I got saved, all of 3 years 8 months ago. And I recovered, by God's grace, so I can have a life...however uneventful, however simple, however quiet. Life and that more abundantly in Christ Jesus.
