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Marriage - Joint Account or Seperate?

Mountainshield

Mountainshield

Member
Hi,

I'm looking for advice from some experienced happily married people concerning having a joint account with your spouse or two seperate accounts.

Im just wondering what is best in your opinion. My grandparents have different systems. On my motherside they have seperate accounts, and of course they are very happy married. But my grandmother have a lot less money, and my grandfather is very greedy when it comes to money (though in all other aspects he is charitable). I never see that much friction, but it is there. My grandmother gives her grandchildren money when he isn't looking, which seems to me a very bad thing that she feels she can't depend on my grandfather for money in these things.

My grandparents on my father side have joint accounts, and they spend sunday/saturday morning going over the financial situations together and never have any conflict about the money.

In my case, I make a lot more than my wife but I always give her money when she asks, even if I think something is stupid or unnecessary. My Wife will however in the future make equal or more than me when she lands a job in her profession. But the catch is that she can be little greedy with her money.

So far we have seperate accounts. Though I pay all rent, gas and most of the food.

What do you do in your marriage? and why does it work? or no work if thats the case?
 
HiMountainshield.
My wife and I have separate accounts but duplicate atm cards for our accounts. (Thai banking laws are the pits so joint account too hard)
I split my salary (after expenses) in a 25/75 split with me getting the lesser share.the extra Thayanee gets is for food and houskeeping.If she's smart enough to buy at bargain rates,I have no problem whatsoever with the savings going into her pocket. This works fine for us, and I can honestly say we have never once argued about money. (pretty good seeing as our joint income is around $450 US a MONTH) When we have a big month with my freelance writing jobs, the extra (on top of teaching salary) we recieve is banked in a 50/50 split for our home building savings.
It works for us.
You mentioned greed a coupleof times in your OP and that, along with overspending would surely put a strain on a relationship. In that case I'd say separate accounts with no joint access.
At the end of the day, a marriage should be based on mutual love , trust, respect AND EQUALITY. Ithink if one holds the purse strings it will inevitably cause resentment or friction.
Blessings
 
Mat_19:5 And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?

Mat_19:6 Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
 
Joint everything, unless you have a business you are sole-proprietor of, or are a partner of. When it comes to your family's finances you should not separate anything. This does, of course, cause some problems when you want to buy gifts for your spouse and don't want them to know where it came from, or how much you spent, but you could always just take out the cash.

Joint is the way to go. After all you are "one flesh" not "two people living together with benefits."
 
We have one account. We always will. Currently, I'm the only one working outside the home, but even when my wife worked, there was only one account. The reason is simple, and if you know or care anything at all for the opinion of Dave Ramsey, he agrees with me.

The simple fact is, as reba quoted, Scripture tells us when a man and woman are married they become one flesh. When this happens, there's no such thing as "mine" and "your's". EVERYTHING is "ours". I can't stress that enough. There is no such thing as your money or her money. It is your (PLURAL), or as we say where I live, Ya'lls money.

The number one cause of divorce in America is money problems and money fights. You mentioned on occasion your wife can be greedy with "her" money. As I've already said, there's no such thing as her money, and I would encourage you to seek the help of a pastor or counselor to help reign in this particular aspect of your marriage, as it is easily one of the most important topics which a husband and wife must be in agreement on.

I don't mean to sound as if I'm jumping on a soap box of some sort, and I sincerely apologize if I'm coming across that way. But there is a right way, and several wrong ways to handle money, and it makes and breaks marriages across the country every day.

As per Paul1965's post, I must say I disagree with the concept of separate accounts with no joint access. Especially as you quickly stated afterward that a marriage should be "based on mutual love, trust, respect AND EQUALITY". Apolgies, brother, but where is the trust in having an account your wife has no access to, or vice versa? I don't mean to sound confrontational, but I simply "calls 'em like I sees 'em" as my grandfather used to say.

Again, I would encourage you, or anyone with any semblence of a money issue in their home, to seek the aid of a pastor or counselor to get that aspect of marriage under control. Again, it's a fact that it's the number one cause of divorce, which makes it simply far too important to gloss over or just "wing it".

And once more, sincere apologies if I've offended anyone, as that's not my intention. I do, however, intend to speak my mind, and I can definitely be counted on for that haha ;)

Blessings unto you, brothers and sisters.
 
Knotical said:
Joint everything, unless you have a business you are sole-proprietor of, or are a partner of. When it comes to your family's finances you should not separate anything. This does, of course, cause some problems when you want to buy gifts for your spouse and don't want them to know where it came from, or how much you spent, but you could always just take out the cash.

Joint is the way to go. After all you are "one flesh" not "two people living together with benefits."
Click to expand...


You posted as I was composing my own, haha! I just have to supply a hearty AMEN!
 
I agree with those that say all the money in the marriage belongs to the family and not to any one individual. My wife and I have had joint accounts on everything for the entire 18 years of our marriage and don't plan on changing.

I was watching Dr. Phil one day and he said married people should have separate accounts. That should settle it once and for all: Joint accounts are the way to go ;)
 
I agree that it should be a joint account all the way. During the courtship, finances and how each person handles them should be very closely observed and discussed, but once one decides that marriage is God's will, then it needs to be a real marriage, two joined as one... no one person should "hold the purse strings" nor should there be any separate accounts.

At least, here in America. Perhaps in other countries the laws are such that only one person can be on an account. :dunno I don't know. If that's the case, then there still needs to be a full understanding between both partners as to the financial assets in the marriage.
 
Mountainshield said:
Hi,

I'm looking for advice from some experienced happily married people concerning having a joint account with your spouse or two seperate accounts.

Im just wondering what is best in your opinion. My grandparents have different systems. On my motherside they have seperate accounts, and of course they are very happy married. But my grandmother have a lot less money, and my grandfather is very greedy when it comes to money (though in all other aspects he is charitable). I never see that much friction, but it is there. My grandmother gives her grandchildren money when he isn't looking, which seems to me a very bad thing that she feels she can't depend on my grandfather for money in these things.

My grandparents on my father side have joint accounts, and they spend sunday/saturday morning going over the financial situations together and never have any conflict about the money.

In my case, I make a lot more than my wife but I always give her money when she asks, even if I think something is stupid or unnecessary. My Wife will however in the future make equal or more than me when she lands a job in her profession. But the catch is that she can be little greedy with her money.

So far we have seperate accounts. Though I pay all rent, gas and most of the food.

What do you do in your marriage? and why does it work? or no work if thats the case?
Click to expand...

Prov 31:3 says not to give your strength to women.
LXX translates, do not give your wealth to women.

Based on the above verse, I would recommend to have separate accounts and not joint account.

If Jesus acknowledges the wisdom of Solomon I would say, it is wise to do what Solomon said using the wisdom given by God.

(Sent from mobile)
 
My husband has been the bread winner and I have worked part time so I could be home when the kids were home. However, I have been the frugel one who could stretch a dollar and find bargains. Usually I am much less impulsive in spending. After the first year he gave me the check book which forces us to talk over purchases. I only say no if we are short of funds. I figure he is the one who earned it all. What really gets to me is that he is the book keeper/banker. I can barely balance the check book so I round everything off If I don't use something like Microsoft Money. I have tried to give the job back to him many times, but this is what works. We have joint accounts that have either or, not needing both signiatures. We are going on 50 years of marriage and it gets better every year because we are both drawing closer to Jesus. If He isn't in the middle of the equation, neither account will work.
 
As per Paul1965's post, I must say I disagree with the concept of separate accounts with no joint access. Especially as you quickly stated afterward that a marriage should be "based on mutual love, trust, respect AND EQUALITY". Apolgies, brother, but where is the trust in having an account your wife has no access to, or vice versa? I don't mean to sound confrontational, but I simply "calls 'em like I sees 'em" as my grandfather used to say.
Click to expand...

Matthew, If you read my post it says DUPLICATE ATM CARDS, we each have cards for each others account as well as our own.

Here it is again. (Wit the the explanation intact.)

My wife and I have separate accounts but duplicate atm cards for our accounts. (Thai banking laws are the pits so joint account too hard)
Click to expand...

I'm not in the habit of saying one thing and doing another brother.
Blessings.
 
Well thank you all for great replies. Was good read, and is consensus that joint accounts is not only christian thing to do, but also in order to have the best marriage possible under God.
 
We had separate accounts in the beginning which I believe put a strain on our financial relationship. We switched to joint at some point and it is so much easier and less of a strain. We do have a couple of separate credit cards which allows us to do gift purchasing but the payments come out of the checking so we know money was spent. I personally manage all the finances for us but I make everything available for her if she wants to see how much we have and how it's been spent. I am also the only working spouse but I changed my mindset when we went to joint accounts that she has every right to our money as I did. I do seem to recall though that there was a period of time where I was still keeping score in my head as to how much was from each paycheck and who spent how much. The sooner you get rid of that mentality, the better. When she asks to buy something, I think to myself "would I feel the need to ask her if I wanted something" and I flip-flop the question before I buy something that seems a little expensive. To sum it up, when we had separate accounts, we argued frequently about finances. Since switching to joint, we almost never do.
 
Carolyn said:
My husband has been the bread winner and I have worked part time so I could be home when the kids were home. However, I have been the frugel one who could stretch a dollar and find bargains. Usually I am much less impulsive in spending. After the first year he gave me the check book which forces us to talk over purchases. I only say no if we are short of funds. I figure he is the one who earned it all. What really gets to me is that he is the book keeper/banker. I can barely balance the check book so I round everything off If I don't use something like Microsoft Money. I have tried to give the job back to him many times, but this is what works. We have joint accounts that have either or, not needing both signiatures. We are going on 50 years of marriage and it gets better every year because we are both drawing closer to Jesus. If He isn't in the middle of the equation, neither account will work.
Click to expand...

Carolyn:

I agree. There is no, one supposedly foolproof method of banking and personal accounting. It needs to be based on trust and care.

Blessings.
 
If a joint account is required to earn trust from a spouse, then, that trust will not last long.
 
We have always had a join account, would never consider otherwise. My wife has always worked, but I have always been the bread winner.
We do keep a separate account that is not very "handy" to get money from, this is our rainy day fund.
Both our names are on everything we own and we now have everything paid off.
Money becomes a lot easier when you are debt free, Dave Ramsey is right about that...
Married 23 years last August.
 
Joint account is definitly the way to go.it keeps no secrets and makes sure any issues get dealt with before they get worse. Usally my fault i might be a bit of an impulse buyer.
 
We married late in life and are somewhat stuck in our ways so too speak. We have separate savings accounts but no secrets as we have access to each others accounts and statements. And one joint checking account in which we both contribute a certain percentage of our earnings which takes care of our bills and necessities. Might seem weird to some but all I can say about that is it works well for us.
 
Mountainshield said:
Hi,

I'm looking for advice from some experienced happily married people concerning having a joint account with your spouse or two seperate accounts.

Im just wondering what is best in your opinion. My grandparents have different systems. On my motherside they have seperate accounts, and of course they are very happy married. But my grandmother have a lot less money, and my grandfather is very greedy when it comes to money (though in all other aspects he is charitable). I never see that much friction, but it is there. My grandmother gives her grandchildren money when he isn't looking, which seems to me a very bad thing that she feels she can't depend on my grandfather for money in these things.

My grandparents on my father side have joint accounts, and they spend sunday/saturday morning going over the financial situations together and never have any conflict about the money.

In my case, I make a lot more than my wife but I always give her money when she asks, even if I think something is stupid or unnecessary. My Wife will however in the future make equal or more than me when she lands a job in her profession. But the catch is that she can be little greedy with her money.

So far we have seperate accounts. Though I pay all rent, gas and most of the food.

What do you do in your marriage? and why does it work? or no work if thats the case?
Click to expand...

For our household we have three accounts. One for me, one for my husband and one that for the household bills. I tend to save more in my account and my husband tends to take his money and invest it in various enterprises.

This method gives me security and him freedom. We have no secrets in our marriage.
 
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