marriage???

[pmokac]

Does the state have to get involved for a marriage, such as licenses and such, or can one just marry in the biblical sense?

 

[Mike]

I believe a vow to each other before the Lord is more important than the state's acknowledgment of it, and for Christians this should mean more/be more binding than a marriage certificate. If both give themselves to each other and understand this is binding, I believe this can be done without anyone else involved.

That said, as a citizen of the United States, I don't know how far someone wants to take this. If someone is willing to go before the Lord with this but not willing to make it official by the state, I would wonder why. If it's to avoid pitfalls in the system and they're doing it to circumvent certain laws, this would be in opposition to Romans 13.

 

[handy]

In order to answer this question, I would want to know why one was opting out of having the state involved...

I do know of some cases where there are two elderly people who, if they marry according to the state, the Soc Sec. Admin. would so cut back on their benefits, they couldn't afford to live. In cases like that, there are some churches willing to give the couple a Christian wedding and marry them in the church...even though in the eyes of the state they are just living together. And I don't really have a problem with that...

But, if two people want to marry outside of the state in order to defraud or because the state won't recognize their union due to things like, oh say, bigamy, polygamy, homosexuality...well then there are some pretty big things to consider here.

 

[handy]

Additionally, I would never, ever, recommend to either of my children to marry outside the legal status afforded by the state. If they do not, they will face many issues that arise if the state doesn't recognize marriage...and if there should arise a reason to divorce...and let's not kid ourselves, these reasons arise, the dissolution of the union and things like child custody, support payments, division of property, become much more problematic without there being any legal status in the union.

There are practical reasons why gays desire marriage...it's not just to spit in the face of Christian tradition...it's because marriage has many benefits and legal protections...

Not that I'm advocating gay marriage...just pointing out a fact.

 

[pmokac]

OK I am going to try this again, my computer keeps going nuts after I type it all.

The reason we have opted to not involve the state is strictly financial. He is disabled and with my income, if we were to marry it is going to cost us roughly $1,000 per month, which we can't afford.

I truly believe this man is my soulmate and the one whom I am meant to spend the rest of my days with, so I will be with him regardless. I just dont want to be condemned for it, if you understand where I am coming from.

 

[handy]

There is a line here...a line which can be crossed into sin, and that would be defrauding the government. I understand where you are coming from, marriage to you and they pull his disability income, income that you cannot afford. Believe me, I know the ridiculously low amount of money the government likes to set for people.

I would suggest this: Talk it over with your pastor, and see what he thinks...if he is willing to marry you without the state's involvement, then go ahead. If he thinks that you will be involved in defrauding the government, then listen to that.

 

[Nicole L. Sattler]

I posted a similar question before I found this one.

The problem with this topic is that everybody has their own view.

I tried asking a similar question in another Christian forum, and they pretty much tore me apart (it was a personal question). They even used other information I posted from another thread and brought it up in the marriage thread that has nothing to do with what I was asking. They twisted my words and it was just a horrible mess. I ended up closing my account. I have been doing some research with scripture and law, and I cannot find anything that says you need a marriage license.

The bible does say to follow the laws of the land and to submit to your governing authority, but being "married" without a license is not illegal, and if you have to there are things you can do to prove you have a marriage in court. Some people record marriages in family bibles and others write up contracts.

Now, I am on the fence about avoiding legal marriage to keep receiving benefits. How I see it is that most couples start supporting each other before marriage, and even after marriage they still have financial problems. I have no idea why the government thinks that people will be able to afford more after marriage. To me, it just isn't right. A lot of people will say trust in God and make it legal, but honestly it is between you and God.

Did you ever pray to Him about this?