Mission Dating

[DarkHorseRising]

It's not something I need to deal with immediately, but what are people's opinions on the feasibility and scripturality of dating unbelievers (actually, courtship would be preferable)?

I know in my heart I'll never give in to the standards of society when it comes to premarital sex, and have always been comfortable around non-Christians with a decent balance of sharing my faith and yet not alienating them.

The issue is, I'm involved in sports incompatible with most Christians, and get kind of tired of having to turn down dates from really great girls who are perfect matches except for not sharing my faith. Like I said, it's not a big deal because I'm not in any particular rush to get into a relationship, but I was wondering if anyone had any similar experiences or advice?

I'm aware of the commandment to not be unequally yolked, but as that term originally applied to oxen, I'm not sure what the best translation is for humans. Most people seem to assume it's faith; but wouldn't a couple be more unequal if their religious views were *all* they had in common?

 

[23Psalm]

"The issue is, I'm involved in sports incompatible with most Christians, and get kind of tired of having to turn down dates from really great girls who are perfect matches except for not sharing my faith."

DarkHorse,

I'm just curious what sport is incompatible with most Christians? Hockey? I understand exactly where you are coming from but your approach is in fact correct. Dating women outside of our faith in Christ can be very tempting as their thoughts are not our own thoughts. In this day and age, I have found that it is women who want casual sex just as much as men do. The mere fact that you are saved and abstaining from sexual conduct could pose a challenge to them and see if they could be the one to break that bond with Christ. I would say continue to be that light and hopefully one day they will come to Christ and become a beliver. Or seek out non-sport activities for fellowship with other Christian women.

It's tough to be an athlete and a Christian. My oldest son is finding that out now as he enters high school. Stay strong!

 

[handy]

You have to delve into the reason why you want to date... you mentioned courting and courting, to me, is more serious than dating... although most Christians will say that all dating should be with marriage in mind.

I don't necessarily agree with that... I was single for a very long time and I went on "dates" (plans made in advance, he paid, we went, came back, chatted, he went home and I followed up with either a nice picnic lunch or home made dinner depending upon what the date was) with guys that I wasn't actively planning on marrying...

However, if by the second or third date, I could tell that there would be no way, no how, I would ever marry the guy, I didn't date him anymore either. There just doesn't seem to be a reason for two people to be in a long term dating relationship unless marriage is being considered.

Nonetheless, sometimes you just want to go see the latest big movie with someone... so, should that someone be a non-Christian?

As 23Psalm said, nowdays most non-Christians end dates with sex... if not the first date, by the second or third sex becomes part of the relationship... Non-Christian women are just as into this as non-Christian guys. So, if you're dating a non-Christian because that's the only girls you know, you'll probably wind up more tempted to engage in sex that you might realize.

Believe me, the temptation is there even when it's a matter of between two Christians who are committed to God and living according to His principles. Never underestimate what a powerful temptation sex is.

You said, "I'm aware of the commandment to not be unequally yolked, but as that term originally applied to oxen, I'm not sure what the best translation is for humans. Most people seem to assume it's faith; but wouldn't a couple be more unequal if their religious views were *all* they had in common? "

This is a perceptive question... the answer is yes, a couple would be "more" unequal if their religious views were *all* they had in common.

At the same time that is like asking which would be "more" painful... getting shot with a .357 Magnum or a Glock 38...

The goal shouldn't be to go with what would be "less" unequal... but to strive to find someone that one can be on equal footing with...

Which brings us to this sport that is "incompatible" with most Christians? What sport is it? Why is it "incompatible" with most Christians... and why is your sport the only avenue you have for meeting girls?

 

[DarkHorseRising]

Well, the sport is showjumping; which is extremely big on drinking, partying and sex... but then again, so is the Christian community at times; they're just not as honest about it.

Thanks for the insight from both replies; I'm aware there is a good argument against dating nonbelievers, and trying to balance that with the very obvious fact that God has given me huge ability in this sport (to the exclusion of talent in virtually any other endeavor lol), so yeah, confusing to say the least.

 

[Blazin Bones]

Dark, your point here about what the sporting environment is like and what Christian do is a poor explanation. We would agree you are right, but then you would also agree that Christians who do engage in such a lifestyle are poor Christians, if Christians at all.

Missionary dating only proves that a soul does not trust Jesus' timing and plans for their lives. A house divided against itself CANNOT stand, and so there is no chance that God would willingly bring you into a romantic situation to temp you away from your faith.

Realizing the existence of poor or fake Christians is no reason to allow of follow in their practices. 2

 

[evesforeva]

Speaking as a nonbeliever, we don't date you to be converted, don't date us to convert 2