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Must a Christian marry a fellow Christian

Classik

Classik

Member
Are we limited to marrying ONLY fellow Christians? There are very good guys and Ladies in the world.
Can't a man or a woman love an unbeliever?


If it is absolutely yes (that a chrstian must marry a fellow christian), then how does an unbeliever make decisions on whom to marry? Does God direct them? Some unbelieving couples later in life accept Christ and they have happy homes - and just like other christians.

Most couples were never born-again before they got married. Today they are born-again, and are living happily.
 
What difference does it make when a christian couple and an unbelieving couple are happily married, and are living in peace?
 
Classik said:
What difference does it make when a christian couple and an unbelieving couple are happily married, and are living in peace?
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...When there is no peace, for whatever reason. That's when the difference becomes evident. An unbelieving spouse has neither the will nor the capacity to respond in a godly way when things get tough...and they surely will get tough sooner or later. It's a mistake to knowingly go into a marital commitment with an unbeliever. A huge mistake.
 
Jethro Bodine said:
...When there is no peace, for whatever reason. That's when the difference becomes evident. An unbelieving spouse has neither the will nor the capacity to respond in a godly way when things get tough...and they surely will get tough sooner or later. It's a mistake to knowingly go into a marital commitment with an unbeliever. A huge mistake.
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Thanks, Jet.
How about a case where the ubelievers later accept Christ?
 
Classik said:
What difference does it make when a christian couple and an unbelieving couple are happily married, and are living in peace?
Click to expand...

(2Cor 6:14-16) Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness? And what accord has Christ with Belial? Or what part has a believer with an unbeliever? And what agreement has the temple of God with idols? For you are the temple of the living God. As God has said: "I will dwell in them And walk among [them.] I will be their God, And they shall be My people."
 
Classik said:
Are we limited to marrying ONLY fellow Christians? There are very good guys and Ladies in the world.
Can't a man or a woman love an unbeliever?


If it is absolutely yes (that a chrstian must marry a fellow christian), then how does an unbeliever make decisions on whom to marry? Does God direct them? Some unbelieving couples later in life accept Christ and they have happy homes - and just like other christians.

Most couples were never born-again before they got married. Today they are born-again, and are living happily.
Click to expand...


Absolutely yes!!! :)

What partnership has light with darkness?
 
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I was a young single guy of 24 years old when a minister walked me through the gospel. One of the very first things he impressed upon me afterwards is that marrying outside one's faith is contrary to God's wishes for Christ's people.
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†. 2Cor 6:14-7:1 . . Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God
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. . . As God has said: I will live with them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they will be my people. Therefore come out from them and be separate, says the Lord. Touch no unclean thing, and I will receive you. I will be a Father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters; says the Lord Almighty.
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. . . Since we have these promises, dear friends, let us purify ourselves from everything that contaminates body and spirit, perfecting holiness out of reverence for God.
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In other words; marrying outside one's faith contaminates both body and spirit; plus degrades one's spiritual condition, and worse; it's irreverent; which Webster's defines as: lacking proper respect and/or seriousness.
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†. Ex 20:12 . . Honor your father
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†. Mal 1:6 . . A son honors his father, and a servant his master. If I am a father, where is the honor due me? If I am a master, where is the respect due me? says the Lord Almighty.
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†. Mrk 12:30 . .You shall love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength
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†. John 14:15 . . If you love me, keep my commandments.
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†. John 14:21 . . He who has my commandments and keeps them, it is he who loves me. And he who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I will love him and manifest myself to him.
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†. Luke 14:26-28 . . If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple. And whoever does not bear his cross and come after me cannot be my disciple.
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†. Luke 6:46 . .Why do you call Me Lord and Master and not do the things which I say?
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Marrying outside one's faith can lead to compromises in one's beliefs and practices; which is never a good thing for the Lord's people. And just look at what marrying outside his faith did to Solomon. It led him into idolatry. And those guys in Genesis who married impious women based solely upon their sex appeal. They all ended up drowning in the Flood in spite of their status as sons of God.
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The end result of knowingly and deliberately marrying outside one's faith is loss of a meaningful association with Christ.
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†. John 14:23-24 . . If anyone loves me, he will keep my word; and my Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him. He who does not love me does not keep my words; and the word which you hear is not mine but the Father's who sent me.
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†. 1John 1:6 . . If we say that we have fellowship with Him, and walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth.
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Cliff<o:p></o:p>
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Thanks alot.

I'm not trying to sound strange here. This is not my question alone, I'm also representing other people's questions:

My parents were complete unbelievers before they got married to each other....most of our family friends too. Today they are all Christians. They have been living in harmony since. So I keep wondering how they were able to find the perfect match (if there is anything like 'perfect' in marriage).

On this basis, could one say such an unbeliving marriage was by God justified? After all both became Christians.

I'm not trying to promote contamination in marriages, How about christians who consciously married unbelievers - but today they all are Christians.


So, I can't see any significant difference between them getting married as Christians or Unbelievers. (Perhaps my dad, being a sinner, could have married my mother if she was already a Christian.

Thanks Felix and Webbers and Jet and Adullam etc

My friend is currently having a problem. She loves a person I should call an unbeliever. I've not inquired into this guy's personality. But I think he is not yet born again. It is funny to say that this guy is trying to avoid her. Dunno why - maybe she preached Christ to him (as she told me) and he's getting irritated. I'M JUST GUESSING
 
It is so clear that unbelievers usually have broken homes. We know why. Just very few have close-to-perfect homes. I'm not surprised while majority of them keep filing for a divorce.
 
A friend of mine in our church said: "What If I'm crazy in love with an unbeliever, can't God change her life in order to satisfy me?"
 
The price you pay when you marry a non christian is too high. Been there doing that!

A christian spouse does not guarantee a totally wonderful marriage %100 of the time...
 
Classik said:
A friend of mine in our church said: "What If I'm crazy in love with an unbeliever, can't God change her life in order to satisfy me?"
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If God can change an unbeliever automatically to satisfy a believer, (without that unbeliever's response and acceptance to God), then why should Christ had to die and why is Hell even preached?

If someone marries an unbeliever, she has to face all consequences right from generational curses upon children and no christian environment at home for children to believe in God.
 
Classik said:
A friend of mine in our church said: "What If I'm crazy in love with an unbeliever, can't God change her life in order to satisfy me?"
Click to expand...
A better, but harder question is, "Can't God change me in order to satisfy Him?"

And the answer, of course, is a resounding, "yes". And the beauty of it is when that happens that person will then find the satisfaction his soul so longs for and was seeking in the things of this world.

"39 Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it." (Matthew 10:39 NIV1984)

Sometimes 'losing your life' means not being married to the person you want to be married to. But in the end the person in Christ who loses his life to serve God instead will indeed find it...and find it abundantly.
 
Classik said:
How about a case where the ubelievers later accept Christ?
Click to expand...
Do you mean after marriage?

The bottom line with this whole thing is it takes two people committed to godly principles to make a marriage happy. You both have to want to do things God's way. But if you are married to an unbeliever you will have a constant struggle with the decisions they want to make and beliefs they want to enforce. Trust me on this one.

If you want your faith tested in a big, big way...marry an unbeliever, because you will have lots of opportunities to defend and try to carry out your godly convictions in the face of someone who does not want to do that. That is not a peaceful existence. This is why I think Paul instructs us to let the unbeliever who wants to leave go.

15 But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. (1 Cor. 7:15 NIV1984)

God has called us to a live at peace with others. You will be hard pressed to be at peace with someone who, sooner or later, does not want to do things God's way while you do. That is a very, very stressful situation...kind of that 'between a rock and a hard place' thing. You want to please your spouse, but you also want to please God. Can't be done! Don't purposely volunteer for this kind of suffering!!!!! Unless you have an unmistakeable calling by God to do that...like Hosea had. And please, young people, don't confuse biological or emotional attraction for the calling of God.
 
And, young people. Don't coerce a superficial commitment to Christ out of an unbeliever you want to marry to satisfy the requirement to be eligible to marry them. A potential spouse must be tested and found to be committed to their faith in Christ before you marry them. How do you do that? I don't know. There is no pat answer. Ask God to create a circumstance that will test the sincerity of that person so you can see for yourself they really are devoted to God when things get tough.
 
For me, the question is not what can I get away with, but why would I want anything other than a Christ-centred marriage?
 
Classik said:
Are we limited to marrying ONLY fellow Christians? There are very good guys and Ladies in the world.
Can't a man or a woman love an unbeliever?


If it is absolutely yes (that a chrstian must marry a fellow christian), then how does an unbeliever make decisions on whom to marry? Does God direct them? Some unbelieving couples later in life accept Christ and they have happy homes - and just like other christians.

Most couples were never born-again before they got married. Today they are born-again, and are living happily.
Click to expand...

Must a christian marry a fellow christian...no? Just don't get married.:lol
 
You would be taking a huge gamble marrying an unbeliever. As others have already quoted, what do light and darkness have in common?

Sure, it might go fine in most cases but what's going to happen when those really tough issues come around.

Examples: Your teen daughter gets pregnant and your unbelieving spouse wants an abortion because it would be too hard for her to go to college. Your unbelieving spouse thinks it's OK for your child to "find their own religion" and allows them to dabble in Wicca. Your unbelieving spouse like to get drunk on the weekends and sees nothing wrong with it -- after all they worked hard all week and deserve to "let off" steam. Your unbelieving spouse like to take the occasional trip to the strip club or surf some porn sites -- nothing wrong there either after all they are just looking!

Do you see how all these kinds of things can come up and the unbeliever could rationalize them all away while the beleiver would find them unacceptable?

At the end of the day unbelievers only have the world and their own opinions to guide them. Not the truth give by God and found in the bible. Our close relationships should only be with believers and a spouse is the closest of them all.
 
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