Must a Christian marry a fellow Christian

[Lloyd]

I am married to a non-believer, it has had 0 effect on my relationship with Christ. I pray and hope in heart that one day she'll realise the truth, but Gods will, not mine.

I love her WITH ALL I HAVE, she's the most amazing woman I have ever met. For to me Christ is King, whether I am married to an unbeliever or not, he is all that matters, I am grateful for the opportunity to know him and serve Him and will always do so.

My children, if the Lord allows me to have children will be brought up with Christ and after all, who can resist the Will of God? No-one.. therefore I have no fear, or worry that I may fall away, for Gods will be done. I will just do my best to be an example of Christ for us both.

All praise and glory to God.

 

[reba]

Good for you Lloyd! I hope all works well for your family. For me it has been a struggle of 47 years. Could be part of wanting to be the submissive wife and wishing him to be the spiritual leader.... I dont like the way he invokes the name of the Lord.

The scriptures are clear here:

1Co 7:12 But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away.
1Co 7:13 And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.

 

[Jethro Bodine]

...she's the most amazing woman I have ever met.

And that's great. God bless you both.

But what if she wasn't the most amazing woman you have ever met?

The Biblical counsel is to not knowingly marry an unbeliever. And there are plenty of testimonies among us as to why it's hard to be married to an unbeliever. And I hope you never have to find out for yourself from experience why it can be hard. I truly do.

 

[Classik]

And that's great. God bless you both.

But what if she wasn't the most amazing woman you have ever met?

The Biblical counsel is to not knowingly marry an unbeliever. And there are plenty of testimonies among us as to why it's hard to be married to an unbeliever. And I hope you never have to find out for yourself from experience why it can be hard. I truly do.

Is there any such thing as freewill in marriage (your ability to marry whomever you desire)? To every Adam, has God deliberately prepared a must-marry Eve, and Vice Versa?

 

[Jethro Bodine]

Is there any such thing as freewill in marriage (your ability to marry whomever you desire)?

God will join together whatever two people approach him to do that. You are entirely free to marry whom you want. Christians should heed the counsel of God to only marry another believer.

To every Adam, has God deliberately prepared a must-marry Eve, and Vice Versa?

As a rule? I don't believe that for a moment. Though that does not mean God would never have a particular plan ordained for some people. And God can certainly be still fulfilling his purposes secretly behind the scenes even though we are acting out our free will completely and without hinderance. It goes back to that 'rat in the maze' thing. The rat is entirely able to operate in his free will, not knowing his free will can only operate within the boundaries the master of the maze has established. Such it is with marriage I believe.

 

[Jethro Bodine]

I don't know you, and you seem like a nice gal, but please get this lofty idea out of your head that God has ordained a perfect mate for everybody somewhere and the lucky ones find that person. That's the stuff of Harlequin romance novels, not Biblical or practical reality.

 

[Classik]

It goes back to that 'rat in the maze' thing. The rat is entirely able to operate in his free will, not knowing his free will can only operate within the boundaries the master of the maze has established. Such it is with marriage I believe.

Beautifully JethroBodineic! This is really good

 

[felix]

I don't know you, and you seem like a nice gal, but please get this lofty idea out of your head that God has ordained a perfect mate for everybody somewhere and the lucky ones find that person. That's the stuff of Harlequin romance novels, not Biblical or practical reality.

I disagree. If God has ordained a perfect mate for everybody, why should only the lucky ones find it? There is nothing called 'luck' when the matter is from God!

The problem is, we don't accept God's choice and we push for our own choice which is where the problem starts.

(1Sam 16:7) ... For the Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.

 

[Jethro Bodine]

Beautifully JethroBodineic! This is really good

Thank you. And I honesty do hope the part of the rat maze you're allowed to travel in includes a wonderful mate for you. I really do. It did not for me. But God has his purposes and I don't regret it in the overall scheme of things. I'm a better person and much wiser about the things of God because of what I've had to endure.

 

[Jethro Bodine]

I disagree. If God has ordained a perfect mate for everybody, why should only the lucky ones find it? There is nothing called 'luck' when the matter is from God!

The problem is, we don't accept God's choice and we push for our own choice which is where the problem starts.

...and thus the reason some don't find the perfect mate God intended they have and be happy with (if he really had one set apart).

I know 'luck' is not the right word to use, but I really thought it would be understood what that means in the context of this conversation.

 

[Lloyd]

And that's great. God bless you both.

But what if she wasn't the most amazing woman you have ever met?

The Biblical counsel is to not knowingly marry an unbeliever. And there are plenty of testimonies among us as to why it's hard to be married to an unbeliever. And I hope you never have to find out for yourself from experience why it can be hard. I truly do.

Hey Jethro,

Do you think I find it easy that my wife is an unbeliever? Or the fact that I want to share Christ with the one person in this world I love like no other? Or the fact that however wonderful and such a good person as she is, unless she accepts Christ, she is not saved? Do you not think that when I read my Bible with her lying next to me, I wish she would read and understand with me and share my joy?

It is ALWAYS hard, but it doesn't stop me loving and giving my life to Christ. Marriage and life is hard, I'm guessing there are Christians here married to Christians that find marriage and life difficult?

I hope one day she will know Christ, but Gods Will as I said. I will just keep doing all I can to be an example of Christ.

Take care.

 

[felix]

...and thus the reason some don't find the perfect mate God intended they have and be happy with (if he really had one set apart).

I know 'luck' is not the right word to use, but I really thought it would be understood what that means in the context of this conversation.

There isn't anything called 'perfect mate' either. 'Perfect' is something you set as expectations and expect the other person to have all such qualities. God only guaranteed a suitable mate (or a comparable mate). All are imperfect and so does every marriage. It is not right to say some didn't find a suitable mate - They just need to remove their expectations except for being a believer.

God always intended that man should marry a woman and live as a family to raise godly children and fill the earth. There are a very few cases where God specifically instructed some prophets to do otherwise which are not for us.

 

[Classik]

There isn't anything called 'perfect mate' either. 'Perfect' is something you set as expectations and expect the other person to have all such qualities. God only guaranteed a suitable mate (or a comparable mate).

Except in Heaven where things are perfect.

Genesis 2:18
NKJV

18 And the Lord God said, “ It is not good that manshould be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.â€

 

[Classik]

Except in Heaven where things are perfect.

Genesis 2:18
NKJV

18 And the Lord God said, “ It is not good that manshould be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.â€

I doubt if marriage continues in heaven.

 

[Classik]

I doubt if marriage continues in heaven.

 

[felix]

I doubt if marriage continues in heaven.

No marriage in heaven.

(Luke 20:34-36) And Jesus answered and said to them, "The sons of this age marry and are given in marriage. But those who are counted worthy to attain that age, and the resurrection from the dead, neither marry nor are given in marriage; nor can they die anymore, for they are equal to the angels and are sons of God, being sons of the resurrection.

 

[Classik]

Very good.

 

[Pinky]

Is there any such thing as freewill in marriage (your ability to marry whomever you desire)? To every Adam, has God deliberately prepared a must-marry Eve, and Vice Versa?

What about this...a divorced Christian person meets another Christian person that happens to be the cousin of their ex. They are both truly in love and both Christians. Is this a wrong union?

 

[felix]

What about this...a divorced Christian person meets another Christian person that happens to be the cousin of their ex. They are both truly in love and both Christians. Is this a wrong union?

Marrying a divorced person for any reason other than sexual immorality is adultery.

If the divorce is because of sexual immorality of the ex, then I see no issues in them marrying as per Scripture. If the divorce is because of sexual immorality of the marrying person, then they are 'potentially' divorced but the marriage itself is not wrong.

 

[Denique Coelum]

I think Scripture is clear enough on this. Felix has hit the nail squarely on the head by quoting 2 Corinthians 6 v 14-16.

I've got some sad experience in this area, of becoming emotionally attached to unbelievers and trying to convert them so that we could have a relationship. It just doesn't work like that.

Sometimes, God, in His wisdom, will work in someone with a view to securing their soul. If a believer marries an unbeliever, there is a possibility that the unbeliever may yet be converted. But I don't think that's God's ideal. God would have believers marry believers, as the scripture in Corinthians clearly sets out for us.

I think that a marriage between unbelievers is not of God, it's a mere legal ceremony. All marriage is of God. Without God, there can be no marriage. A marriage between a believer and an unbeliever is not of God either, so it's not a marriage.

Of course, one can't be legal about this, but I'd say that any Christian would have to be guided by scripture when considering marriage to an unbeliever. It has no scriptural basis.

Quite apart from that, there's the issue, as I've seen in quite a few 'unequal yokes', of how to raise the children. While one half of the couple may want to raise their children for the Lord, the other may be opposed to it, deeming it 'brainwashing' or some believing other atheistic delusional argument against children being given proper moral instruction. It creates tension and issues.

How can a household be divided against itself? I know that if I'm ever fortunate enough to marry and have my own household, that my wife and I will pray together daily, will study the scriptures together daily, &c. How could I do that with an unbelieving wife? Normal Christianity would be impossible in such a house.

Anyway, I'm sure everyone knows where I'm coming from, so I'll stop rattling on and let you all get a word in edgeways.