Christ_empowered
Member
- Oct 23, 2010
- 14,418
- 10,910
i have severe mental illness. I think the going label is "Bipolar I." I...don't know. Everybody around me calls it "Schizophrenia." Either way, I take a tranquilizer and a mood drug.
My family loves me and supports me, despite who I was before Jesus saved me (I'm 5 years into a very meaningful Walk with The Lord...God is good!). You know how people talk about mentally ill people on the streets, homeless? Yeah..well...its not as simple as "they need treatment." A lot of them (us, really) have hurt our families to the point that the streets are...where, that's where we/ they end up. The 1st hospital I was put in--a private, for proft affair that defrauded my parents' insurance--wanted to send me to a homeless shelter..."humbling experiences." Keep in mind; they'd done shock treatments, and I'd had a near fatal, untreated sleeping pill OD while there. I"m blessed...my mother put her little foot down, so then they broke my spirit and dosed me up on antidepressants after my eyes went dead (I"m serious about being blessed...the homeless shelter would have been -far- worse than what followed all that...).
OK. See...the "severely mentally ill" are people too. Kinda cuts both ways, really. We have rights...we also (hopefully...) have at least some responsibilties. From a Christian perspective, a Schizophrenic sinner is a sinner, too, just like a "normal" sinner. So..there's that, also. Once Jesus enters the scene, a saved and forgiven "manic depressive" is just as saved and washed+made clean as a "normal" Christian, also.
My parents love me. I love them. I harbor some bitterness, I don't mean to. I keep praying for what I need to forgive 70x7 and take up my plow and push forward, and...God is working in all aspects of my life, that (important...) stuff included.
Around here, I'm regarded as a lot of things...none of them good. I was wild in my late teens, then the shock happened, and...whoa. So, I deal with taunting and such, and I see now...well, as "mental patients" w/ my backstory go, I've got a fairly smooth run of things, all things considered.
OK. I'd very much like to "stabilize" or...whatever...to the point that I can be a support for my parents, when they get older. Oh, and...enjoy life, in the here and now, more than I do now. That'd be good, too, for my parents and for me.
I've noticed something; when you're intelligent and "severely mentally ill," you automatically rub people the wrong way. True story. I also (now...) dress reasonably well, thanks to my (loving, kind, generous, long suffering, humane) parents. That, too, rubs many in Mental Health, Inc. the wrong way. I guess I gotta toughen up and ride it out, but...ugh. "We're here to help." Ummmm...OK....
God is good! I receive disability. Its not much (if it was, I guess everybody would be "Schizophrenic," right?), but its more than enough for me, plus I get the low cost copays on the psych drugs. I'm taking an online history class, a glance at the rise and fall of The Roman Empire. I have a reliable, quality car...its even...a pretty color.
Oh, and I'm physically quite healthy. I'm even...rosy cheeked, lol. Keep in mind; I was once sick, sick, sick as unto death. No longer.
I'd like to Praise The Lord for my parents...mama and dad. I put them thru such torment...and I always thought of -my- problems, -my- suffering, -my- wants, etc. Ugh. Overgrown adolescent, clearly. But...
"Our God is a God of reconciliation." True, that. Why not my parents and me? Why not...anybody, anywhere, at any given time? The way I see it, there's way too much misery going on, anyway.
And...the "Bipolar I" or "Schizophrenia" or..."the affliction." I guess its one of those things...I Praise God for my intelligence, my health, my living situation, safer psych drugs I tolerate and respond well to, and...
I pray for His perfect will in my life and my parents' lives.
Thanks, yet again.
My family loves me and supports me, despite who I was before Jesus saved me (I'm 5 years into a very meaningful Walk with The Lord...God is good!). You know how people talk about mentally ill people on the streets, homeless? Yeah..well...its not as simple as "they need treatment." A lot of them (us, really) have hurt our families to the point that the streets are...where, that's where we/ they end up. The 1st hospital I was put in--a private, for proft affair that defrauded my parents' insurance--wanted to send me to a homeless shelter..."humbling experiences." Keep in mind; they'd done shock treatments, and I'd had a near fatal, untreated sleeping pill OD while there. I"m blessed...my mother put her little foot down, so then they broke my spirit and dosed me up on antidepressants after my eyes went dead (I"m serious about being blessed...the homeless shelter would have been -far- worse than what followed all that...).
OK. See...the "severely mentally ill" are people too. Kinda cuts both ways, really. We have rights...we also (hopefully...) have at least some responsibilties. From a Christian perspective, a Schizophrenic sinner is a sinner, too, just like a "normal" sinner. So..there's that, also. Once Jesus enters the scene, a saved and forgiven "manic depressive" is just as saved and washed+made clean as a "normal" Christian, also.
My parents love me. I love them. I harbor some bitterness, I don't mean to. I keep praying for what I need to forgive 70x7 and take up my plow and push forward, and...God is working in all aspects of my life, that (important...) stuff included.
Around here, I'm regarded as a lot of things...none of them good. I was wild in my late teens, then the shock happened, and...whoa. So, I deal with taunting and such, and I see now...well, as "mental patients" w/ my backstory go, I've got a fairly smooth run of things, all things considered.
OK. I'd very much like to "stabilize" or...whatever...to the point that I can be a support for my parents, when they get older. Oh, and...enjoy life, in the here and now, more than I do now. That'd be good, too, for my parents and for me.
I've noticed something; when you're intelligent and "severely mentally ill," you automatically rub people the wrong way. True story. I also (now...) dress reasonably well, thanks to my (loving, kind, generous, long suffering, humane) parents. That, too, rubs many in Mental Health, Inc. the wrong way. I guess I gotta toughen up and ride it out, but...ugh. "We're here to help." Ummmm...OK....
God is good! I receive disability. Its not much (if it was, I guess everybody would be "Schizophrenic," right?), but its more than enough for me, plus I get the low cost copays on the psych drugs. I'm taking an online history class, a glance at the rise and fall of The Roman Empire. I have a reliable, quality car...its even...a pretty color.
Oh, and I'm physically quite healthy. I'm even...rosy cheeked, lol. Keep in mind; I was once sick, sick, sick as unto death. No longer.
I'd like to Praise The Lord for my parents...mama and dad. I put them thru such torment...and I always thought of -my- problems, -my- suffering, -my- wants, etc. Ugh. Overgrown adolescent, clearly. But...
"Our God is a God of reconciliation." True, that. Why not my parents and me? Why not...anybody, anywhere, at any given time? The way I see it, there's way too much misery going on, anyway.
And...the "Bipolar I" or "Schizophrenia" or..."the affliction." I guess its one of those things...I Praise God for my intelligence, my health, my living situation, safer psych drugs I tolerate and respond well to, and...
I pray for His perfect will in my life and my parents' lives.
Thanks, yet again.
