My Fiancé is Struggling with God

[subtlecollision]

I have been in a relationship now for 6 years, we are engaged. When we first started dating, he said he was a believer and was even involved with a church / lead music.

Last year, he opened up and said he believed he had never had a conversion experience - he was just raised to believe and has prayed for years for God to reveal Himself…but He still has not. This was not easy for him, it was and still is very painful. The main thing that made him realize this was my own conversion / testimony, because I had a genuine experience and was changed that very day, and I was not raised to believe anything and actually had an extreme aversion to any religion.

While I am thankful he is now being truthful with where he is spiritually, I am also deeply saddened because now God and the Bible are topics that upset him. He is still willing to discuss it, to an extent, but he has been hurt by churches and their misguided ideologies, and also doesn’t understand why God would ignore him since he has literally begged God to show him the truth of His existence nearly his whole life. He is angry with God because of this and because of all the horrible things that happen on earth; he has a very hard time reconciling a loving God with the state of the world and the depravity of human history, and because no matter how much he asks, God has still not revealed Himself.

I suppose I am asking for prayer, and any advice on things I could say from time to time that might be helpful…because he does truly want to know God, but simply is being honest about not being born again…and it hurts me that something that brings me endless joy, brings him so much pain. I do love him and will not be leaving him. Morally he behaves better than most people who claim to be Christian, and we share common core values and interests, as in quite literally all of them except God currently..and he does not belittle me for my faith, rather he says he hopes God shows Himself to him like He did me. He is a rock in my life and my daughter’s life (I was in an abusive marriage before - and we had a child together.)

He’s a beautiful soul that is suffering…and I often feel powerless but I know this is between him and God…but it does hurt in more ways than one.

Thanks for reading.

I'm sorry you're struggling. This is a really tough situation.

It seems to me like your fiancée is looking for some special sort of sign from God. Or he thinks he'll have a super dramatic conversation experience. That doesn't always happen.

Since I haven't met him, it's hard to tell if your fiancée doesn't have faith or he has faith and is just going through a period of doubting. I would urge you to break up with him, though, if he really isn't a believer. You have to think long term when it comes to marriage. I'm sure he is an amazing guy like you're saying and it's truly admirable that he's seeking God, but, like you said, God makes you really happy. Don't you want someone who can share in that? And lead you in God?

And maybe you'll meet someone who is just as amazing as your fiancee but a Christian. Wouldn't that be better?

 

[citrus]

I'm not here to discourage you if you think this man is right for you.

 

[citrus]

I don't know you two personally so my advice not be the right advice for you specifically.