Christ_empowered
Member
- Oct 23, 2010
- 14,243
- 10,724
For those of you who read my (many, many) posts on this...the neighbors keep messing with me. They say stuff like "You can tell by his eyes that they took something" (referring to my ex-shrinks), stuff like that. This time, when I was outside in the back and I heard people in behind the backyard talking about me, I got up from the little table I was sitting at and moved forward a bit and looked around to see if I could see the people. My parents have all kinds of trees, plants, shrubs, etc. up as a "privacy screen," so...yeah...couldn't see a whole lot, lol.
The neighbors to the side were at it...I just stared over there and they quieted down. Its crazy I tell you, crazy. And what's weird is...
1) I used to have dead eyes. I did after the first hospital got through with me, anyway. I now have bright eyes, thanks to Christ. 2) Everybody around here calls me "schizophrenic," but the people who actually treat me call it "Bipolar I, in recovery." The difference? Schizophrenia is, of course, more stigmatizing. Once you've been declared "schizophrenic," there's usually no way back to "normal," not unless you get a job somewhere far, far away.
It just gets frustrating. All those years when I was dead eyed and had serious health problems--mental and physical--everybody laughed at me and messed with me, because I was a poor flamer. Now, I'm increasingly normal, healthy, I'm smart, I'm bright eyed, my people "moved up in the world" (people around here are very, very class conscious, it seems) and are protecting me, and...
...yeah. I was considered a "trouble maker," so now it seems that people know an awful lot about my psychiatric torment/treatment. I'm frustrated. I'm back to wearing my MP3 player when I'm outside.
Please pray. I mean, people are entitled to their opinions, yes, but...this is straight out of anti-psychiatry, you know? The former shrinks want to "keep me in line" because I was considered "poor white trash," I apprently "got uppity," etc. etc. They do this to "trouble makers" and poor people, especially poor women. I'm thankful for current line up of modern psych meds and my easy, breezy counseling w/ a Born Again Christian counselor (he even has a M.Divinity), but...sometimes, the anti-psychiatry people are right: psychiatry can be, and in my case is being, used as a form of social control.
So..yeah. Its me again, complaining about my neighbors, lol. To be fair, its not just the neighbors...people have screamed stuff at me at night, when I was out at the porch, and during the day, people walking by the house have said stuff, deliberately loud enough for me to hear. I get the sense I"m "not a member of this community," so...that would explain a lot of this behavior.
The neighbors to the side were at it...I just stared over there and they quieted down. Its crazy I tell you, crazy. And what's weird is...
1) I used to have dead eyes. I did after the first hospital got through with me, anyway. I now have bright eyes, thanks to Christ. 2) Everybody around here calls me "schizophrenic," but the people who actually treat me call it "Bipolar I, in recovery." The difference? Schizophrenia is, of course, more stigmatizing. Once you've been declared "schizophrenic," there's usually no way back to "normal," not unless you get a job somewhere far, far away.
It just gets frustrating. All those years when I was dead eyed and had serious health problems--mental and physical--everybody laughed at me and messed with me, because I was a poor flamer. Now, I'm increasingly normal, healthy, I'm smart, I'm bright eyed, my people "moved up in the world" (people around here are very, very class conscious, it seems) and are protecting me, and...
...yeah. I was considered a "trouble maker," so now it seems that people know an awful lot about my psychiatric torment/treatment. I'm frustrated. I'm back to wearing my MP3 player when I'm outside.
Please pray. I mean, people are entitled to their opinions, yes, but...this is straight out of anti-psychiatry, you know? The former shrinks want to "keep me in line" because I was considered "poor white trash," I apprently "got uppity," etc. etc. They do this to "trouble makers" and poor people, especially poor women. I'm thankful for current line up of modern psych meds and my easy, breezy counseling w/ a Born Again Christian counselor (he even has a M.Divinity), but...sometimes, the anti-psychiatry people are right: psychiatry can be, and in my case is being, used as a form of social control.
So..yeah. Its me again, complaining about my neighbors, lol. To be fair, its not just the neighbors...people have screamed stuff at me at night, when I was out at the porch, and during the day, people walking by the house have said stuff, deliberately loud enough for me to hear. I get the sense I"m "not a member of this community," so...that would explain a lot of this behavior.
