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Name calling

T

txgirlmaddy

Member
Today I was out at the pool and some guy called me a s*** Hate that. Then he proceeded to argue about the way I was dressed and even ficked my cross lecklace in my chin... saying "your no christian, look what your wearing." I was just wearing my regular white bikini. Talk about a jerk. But I will pray for him. He totally put a lump in my day. Errr!
 
Yeah, a lot of insecure guys like to control women. if they can't do it overtly, they'll use indirect methods such as you've described.
 
nope didnt know him. he came up to me saying he noticed the cross necklace i was wearining and then he asked me if i was a christian, and I said yes I am... are you? He said no, I'm an atheist. He then went on to ask me wether I thought wearing a see through bikini was christian? I said.. this isn't see through, its just my regular old. And hes like oh please, I know you types, I can see your (very graphic stuff he said) and then he called me the word and took my cross and threw it up to hit my chin. Then he went off about chick-fil-a. I think he was gay.

I didn't know what to do, and I hope I conducted myself well after it happened, I wanted to tell the lifeguard but when I started moving towards that way he ran and yelled some jibberish. I would have liked to have got him banned from the gym but the lifeguard told me he'd never seen him before but he'd watch for him.

I really don't want to get into just how graphic his talk ways, but it was really bad. Hope he doesn't come back because me and my gfs swim all the time and if he comes back, hes got 4 other females to shout out as well.



joethemechanic said:
Was this guy someone you know?
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Wow... that must have been really scary. What a way to ruin a nice day at the pool.

I wouldn't stay away from the pool, but if you ever see this dude again, don't hesitate to point him out to a life guard. That was way out of line, no one should be verbally harassed like that and I'm sure if he were to do it again, you certainly could get him banned.

Normally, I'm of the mind that we Christians should just suck up abuse and pray for the abuser... but this was overtly sexual and really threatening. The fact that he went so far as to touch you by flicking the cross....:o.

It sounds as if you did tell the lifeguard and that was the best thing to do. Keep an eye out for him...
 
A guy who would do/say something like that is a jerk.

Maybe i will be the odd man out here ... I would suggest a bathing suit that is less provocative...
 
I guess when you said, "regular white bikini" I thought of something two piece with linings (you said it wasn't see through) but not string and not the type the bum hangs out of...

I had a niece who wore a bikini like that and really didn't think it was all that provocative...

Nothing really excuses the guy's behavior... and it sounds as if it wasn't what you were wearing... an atheist verbally attacking a girl with a cross and going off on chick fil a sounds like someone who was trying to pick a fight because you were a Christian... not because you were dressed inappropriately for a pool.

Having said that... as an older woman to a younger one, if you are wearing a really skimpy string bikini with what used to be known as a "french cut" (ie have the butt is hanging out) then yes, a more modest swimsuit is in order even without the verbal attack.
 
I'm not about to change what I believe or what I do or what I wearr for him. Me and my gfs go there all the time and we all wear the same type style victoria secret bikinis. When I get wet the top may get a little sheer but I've never, ever had anything but compliments on my swimwear.. absolutely nothing like happened today. I've told me gfs about this and were gonna get together to go talk to another lifeguard we know so I can give a description of the man. Its just crazy how mean people are getting and scary too... shheesh!!!



reba said:
A guy who would do/say something like that is a jerk.

Maybe i will be the odd man out here ... I would suggest a bathing suit that is less provocative...
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OK.. a two track answer, one here and please, sweetie, see a PM from me! ;)

I think it's a very good idea that you and your gf's (especially if they were witness to this) go to the staff at the pool and give a description. He sounds at best a little unhinged and at worst... dangerous.
 
Ya thats how I felt. It was a really weird experience cause I almost couldn't believe it. I should have just ran when he started criticizing me, but I also was willing to talk to him if he really wanted to talk about Christian issues or debate on something. So it was like, I was nice but then just completely shocked and scared. I won't be alone if this happens again. Thanks for you support Joe. Love, Maddy


joethemechanic said:
A stranger acting like that is really kind of scary. Here that would be considered assault.
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joethemechanic said:
A stranger acting like that is really kind of scary. Here that would be considered assault.
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thankyou joethemechanic, I kinda agree that we shouldn't judge people, you know? This is one of my favorite Bible verses:


Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. --- Matthew 7:1-2
 
First off, what this guy said and the way he handled it was out of line. I'm glad you decided to talk to the employees about him, because that situation could escalate.

That said, a few things come to mind. First off is the image we project to the world. We know we're not going to model our faith perfectly all the time. Non-Christians will find hypocrisy in our words & actions if they wait only a little while. But we should try to be conscious that the image we project says who we are; that we are sons and daughters of God.

1 Peter 2:12 "Live such good lives among the pagans that, though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day he visits us."

I can understand part of you feeling offended, but it seems another part of you could have considered the modesty scripture speaks of and that perhaps you aren't projecting to the world that modesty that should differentiate women of faith. We are told of the virtue of modesty that women should have. I don't think of myself as a legalist. We have freedom in Christ. But we have to discern where to use that freedom.

1 Cor 10:23 "Everything is permissible”—but not everything is beneficial. “Everything is permissible”—but not everything is constructive."

Remember, we are to be in the world; not of it. And we should try to project the message that He is who we are about. (my two cents)
 
jasoncran said:
next time he does that be sure to have a stun gun and use it on his groin region. that will teach em.
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Thanks Jason. Its hard cause I want to show love and not hate and I want to be sweet and show somebody like that God's love by my example. But it was just plain scary. I rarely go to the pool alone and will make sure it never happens again, although its sad that I have to do that because of this jerk.

I'm not going to change what I wear just for him and next time he comes hes gonna have a problem because it won't just be me but all my gfs he will have to take on and we won't let him get away with it.

I skyped with the lifeguard thats also one of my best friend and he was shocked and sad that he wasn't there that day to defennd me so I hope it doesnt happen again but the only thing that concerns me is if this guy has a posse that I wouldn't recognize.

Its too bad that the world seems to hate just girls being girls but I'm not gonna take it, if anything after this, I'm inboldened.
 
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