Never spank a child

[jasonc]

lol, I prefer digitasation. a process where by all cells in the human body are dematarilized and stored in a computer then rematearilised with a small chip inside them upon command. painful process for the victim.lol

 

[Classik]

WHY NOT ?

Because spank and flog are totally different things

 

[Classik]

WHY NOT ?

You must have been reading King James versions of Proverbs 23:13. Cops!

 

[Classik]

No but I would use a hammer

Verily, You must have been reading King James versions of Proverbs 23:13. Cops!

 

[for_his_glory]

No more spanking has caused many kids to go wild. They rebel against all authority and even sue their parents that spank them and now parents are afraid to spank for being sued. This in turn allows children to become troublesome to society. It might have hurt when Dad took the belt to us or Mom used her little red paddle, but we grew up respecting their authority, even though we might not have agreed with it at times, but made all of us a better adult in our later years.

 

[Classik]

No more spanking has caused many kids to go wild. They rebel against all authority and even sue their parents that spank them and now parents are afraid to spank for being sued. This in turn allows children to become troublesome to society. It might have hurt when Dad took the belt to us or Mom used her little red paddle, but we grew up respecting their authority, even though we might not have agreed with it at times, but made all of us a better adult in our later years.

Yea.
Question is, can it really work today? Seems children of these days have glued their mind to whatever that seems right to them.

 

[for_his_glory]

When a child is explained to why they are being disciplined then chances are they will learn from it. I think one of the problems today is that many parents are to self absorbed and pay little attention to their children.

 

[His_nee (Jeff)]

Yea.
Question is, can it really work today? Seems children of these days have glued their mind to whatever that seems right to them.

adults too. eh? (as in the days of Noah)
http://www.k9safesearch.com/search.jsp?q=everyone+right+in+their+own+sight+site:biblegateway.com&v=w

 

[Lewis]

My father punching me in the face

 

[TOG]

The TOG​

 

[Sparkey]

The house was quiet that evening as I walked into the children's bedroom. My two sons had been fighting. They were both lying face down on the edge of their beds, bottoms turned up for their spanking. As I entered, I heard their hushed whispers.

They were playing sweetly with a toy and making little 'zoom-zoom' sounds as they took turns with it. Two little angels waiting patiently for their spanking. This precious memory remains with me decades later.

Yes, I've spanked my sons. But never in anger. Ask my older son and he will tell you about how his friends were disciplined. How their fathers had come home drunk and beat them. Neither of my sons complain of their treatment at my hands and both know within their deep parts that I have and continue to love them.

Spanking wasn't the only punishment though. Sometimes, when things got out of control, I would simply command, "Sit on your hands." Both would comply. They knew that Dad was serious. Other-times a time-out was used. The relationship was not broken. Anger did did not and was not allowed to ruin what formed between us. I thankfully blame God for the love we have. He did it and this I cannot deny.

 

[His_nee (Jeff)]

Yea.
Question is, can it really work today? Seems children of these days have glued their mind to whatever that seems right to them.

takes more than only spanking when needed. takes a lot of time and discipline and limits a
PARENTING WITH FEAR AND TREMBLING IN AN AGE OF “NO FEAR”

by Mikal Frazier, MA, MMFT, LMFT, LPC

On a ski slope many years ago, I first saw the words onsomeone’s clothing which read “No Fear.” As those words registered with me in that particular context, I couldn’t help but wonder at the reckless disregard for the danger and risk so foreboding on that mountain. I had some close calls with a few that very day who seemed to adhere to such a motto.

Recent events have reminded us of the danger that lurks on those inviting slopes. Traumatic death came to both Sony Bono and Michael Kennedy as a result of what seems to have been reckless abandon of all warnings as they raced into their eternal destiny. One commentator, in discussing the death of Michael Kennedy, discussed the common disregard for rules shared by the entire Kennedy clan. He said something like, “The Kennedys have regularly pushed the envelope and abandoned the rules of responsible behavior. ”

Many parents have adopted the same ambiguous perspective toward Parenting. They find it difficult to give their children limits and boundaries. In discussing this issue I often share the story of a family who worshipped at my church. This family had planned their life well and waited several years to have a child. Finally the wife gave birth to a much awaited little girl. The husband had been a boxer in the marines and was one of quite formidable stature. It was the husband and new father who proudly carried that newborn little girl into the church building for her first worship service.

As he perched her for everyone to see, he held her some twelve or more inches from his body without supporting her little arms or legs. They were just flailing in the air. The maternal instincts in me wanted to say, “Hold that baby close and give her secure boundaries.” Those little arms and legs were looking for that security and support. Since one fear accompanying a baby at birth is the fear of falling, I cannot help but wonder if there was not some sort of fear in that little

person.

Our children continue to look for boundaries as they grow, and the security these limits provide. But in an age where “No Fear” seems to be the motto and teaching absolutes, morality and respect for authority is not deemed “politically correct,” many parents have abdicated their most important role as teachers of time-honored responsible behavior.

Robert Bly, in his book, _The Sibling Society_, narrates America’s journey from what Jules Henry in 1962 called “the Indo-European, Islamic, Hebraic impulse-control system” and the ushering in of boundless permissiveness. Bly goes on to state, “Fathers in the late 1950′s gave up their traditional setting of limits, and in return asked for new sorts of love from their children — at a price. The children soon saw they had been put into power.”

Perhaps it is the desire for love which lured parents from their appropriate position as authority figures in a responsible hierarchy. Bly also reports the observations of Englishman Geoffrey Gorer when he visited the United States. Bly says Gorer “noticed the extraordinary desire of American grown-ups to be loved. They didn’t seem to feel it necessary to love in return; rather, to be the object of love was all that was required. How could one be more clearly worthy of love than

to agree to whatever your children want?” Voila!! Reckless permissiveness.

Christian psychologist Ross Campbell says when our children are acting out, they are really saying, “But do you really love me?” So, possibly, in what Bly calls the sibling society, we have the adults and the children simultaneously craving and yearning for love. The adults have abdicated their position of power and handed it to their children on a silver platter. The children who are now the engineers of society, experience a similar fear and helplessness to the newborn

baby girl who desperately flailed in a search for her boundaries.

In family therapy we call this a reversal of hierarchy, a recipe for disaster, whether in a nation or a nuclear family unit. (And yes, I am aware there are many families, which do not meet the criteria of a nuclear family. Any arrangement less than a nuclear family will only exacerbate this hopeless spiral when the reversal of hierarchy exists.)

Mom and Dad, your children are begging for limits and rules to guide their lives. In 1 Samuel 3:13 God tells Samuel about his judgment against Eli. “For I told him that I would judge his family forever because of the sin he knew about; his sons made themselves contemptible, and he failed to restrain them.” Just as Eli’s sons were wicked because Eli did not restrain them, so will our children follow their own desires if we do not restrain them.

Paul Faulkner, in his book _Raising Faithful Kids_ , quotes Kent Hayes: “We know from hard-won experience that the parents who provide the appropriate structure in their home have the happiest, most secure children. Secure children do not act out, run away, fight, or resist authority as much as those who never know the rules or what might happen next.”

We all need boundaries. Scott Peck says we all submit to something (have boundaries) or else we die or wind up in an institution. Faulkner says, “Boundaries and rules are essential to our happiness as adults, and certainly are essential for our children — whether they know it or not.”

When I was in training it was pointed out that it was important to ***

train children and give them limits as their very survival depended on

it. Bono and Kennedy are prime examples. Yet, there is even a greater

cost for not restraining our children which goes beyond happiness and

survival, and that is their eternal salvation. In Ephesians 6:4, Paul

instructs us to bring up our children in the nurture and admonition of

the Lord.

Our children must be taught to follow instruction because we have a

Father in heaven who demands obedience. He no longer winks his eye at

ignorance, Acts 17:30. He does not accept lukewarm obedience

(Revelation 3:16). He wants us to give ourselves as living sacrifices

( Romans 12:1). Our salvation and the salvation of our children is a

matter of searching it out with fear and trembling (Philippians 2:12).

A while back a group of young people were swimming at an approved water

hole. Swimming was OK, but diving was not. A 15-year-old young man

perched himself on a cliff and onlooking adult supervisors said, “Don’t

dive.” He did. He was blessed because he only cut a gash in his head

and nothing more.

Later a parent was discussing the event with me and made the comment,

“You cannot tell a child ‘no’ and expect him not to do something.” I

was stunned. You certainly can tell a child “no” and expect him to

follow the instruction. This child nearly paid with his life for not

having been taught this. You will reap obedient behavior when you have

restrained your child with appropriate training and discipline.

(Consistent, swift and sure consequences for misbehavior are essential,

but that is subject matter for another article.)

Faulkner quotes John Rosemond: “Expect your children to obey. Stop

apologizing for the decisions you make in their lives. Get back in

touch with the power of ‘Because I said so.’ Stop thinking that you

can persuade your children that your decisions are for their own good,

or even that you need to try! Essential to a child’s sense of security

are parents who are authoritative, decisive, and trustworthy–in a

word, powerful! So, get with it folks! Your children are counting on

you.”

Mom and Dad in the Lord, your children are counting on you. Your most

important task in raising your children is the ministry of

reconciliation of your children to the Father. You are the best ones

to influence your children. Even the experts are now realizing parents

have the most influence. Your children are begging for your moral and

spiritual guidance. Eternity for your children is hanging in the

balance.

[Mikal Frazier is a licensed family therapist with a practice

in Minden and Bossier City, Louisiana. She and her husband, Jim

have three adult children and two grandchildren.]
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