Hi guys, I am new here. This may sound like a crazy question, but has anyone heard the audible voice of God? I don't mean like a "still small voice" or God speaking to you through bible quotes, I mean a real audible voice. A little background on me. I have had two psychotic breaks within the last 3 years. During those times, I heard the audible voice of "God" (among many other voices, but I wont get into those right now.) During my first psychotic episode I was diagnosed as bipolar. Now I am sure many of you may write off my experiences as hallucination because of that, but I have to tell you that my experiences felt so REAL that it is hard to deny them. I am honestly not a religious person. I have always been pretty agnostic. I have never read the bible all the way through and have always found it hard to swallow (sorry.) But when I talked to "God" I felt like I was IN the bible and it all became real.
The first time I heard the voice of God, I had been reading stuff about the rapture and other Jesus related things out of curiosity. I have had issues with my mom and for some reason, as I walked into my room I said to myself "Jesus if you're real, I will forgive my mom."
I heard an audible voice respond to me. "Now you understand my daughter" It said. This was very overwhelming to me. I suddenly felt a strong presence in my room and it was so overwhelming I collapsed on the floor and suddenly tears were flooding my eyes. I felt the presence of God and it was so intense I could hardly take it. The voice was sushing me and telling me it was going to be okay. I basically told it to please back off a bit. That it was too intense and I couldn't take it much more. The "entity" left after I asked it to back off and I was able to tell my family what I experienced.
I was in a state of awe, and I rushed to my boyfriends to tell him what happened. But that night as I was lying in bed, the voice came back. We ended up having a whole conversation and this voice had a good sense of humor. I asked it why I was so depressed all the time. It or "he" said "You forgot that I love you." And he told me that "I must have faith" and that I had an earth father and a heavenly father. And he also told me that "Jesus is God" which I was kind of surprised by because I was never Christian. I was raised as mostly agnostic and I never thought of Jesus being the actual God before. He laughed at this. The voice was definitely masculine and unlike any voice I've heard before. It didn't really sound human.
Unfortunately after this conversation with "God" I went into full blown psychosis where I thought the rapture was coming and thought God was communicating to me through the TV and Radio among many other delusions. What was weird is the TV and radio would line up with what I was thinking at the time. It's hard to explain. I felt like I was in eternity and tapping into another dimension. The only thing that sounds similar to what I experienced are near death experiences that I've read about. And knowledge was getting fed into my brain. Knowledge that I forgot when I came back to sanity.
I was honestly devastated when I came back to "reality." I thought that if God was real, why would he allow me to feel like I was basically in heaven and then take it away? Or if that wasn't God, why would any God allow me to be messed with like that? To believe in such a thing? I was bitter for two years until last spring when I had my second psychotic break. I once again heard the voice of "God" telling me that I needed Jesus Christ and that he was always there and never left. I once again heard "God" speaking to me through music and TV. I was once again in "eternity." And I was once again forced into a hospital and shot up with horrible medications.
To be honest, when I came back this time I was so depressed that I attempted suicide several times. I couldn't get the thought of killing myself out of my head. Why would God put me through such horrible depression? I am on SSDI and I feel worthless. I have lost interest in everything and have no ambition to do anything. Honestly all I want is to feel that "Heavenly" presence again. I've tried praying but it feels like I am talking to myself. And if it was all just brain chemistry where does that leave room for the soul? Why does God allow mental illness? Why does God require faith? Why does he leave someone in such a cruel world where science points to there being no God?
Now I know psychiatrists don't understand the brain. I know because you are basically a test model for any medications they can throw at you and hope they work. Brain science is basically worthless. They can't even cure depression which should be one of the most important brain diseases to cure. Trust me I would rather be "mad" than depressed. I struggle with this everyday now. I would like to believe that I communicated with God but science keeps telling me I am just a nut case.However, no scientist could ever explain what it's like to be "psychotic" unless they experienced it themselves. When you're in "eternity" it feels more real than reality. But why would God want me to be a worthless depressed slump? And I can't help the depression. I would if I could. But I guess I wanted to know what you guys think of this story. Do you think God talks to the mentally ill? And does anyone here have a similar experience? Sorry for the long post. Just looking for answers.
The first time I heard the voice of God, I had been reading stuff about the rapture and other Jesus related things out of curiosity. I have had issues with my mom and for some reason, as I walked into my room I said to myself "Jesus if you're real, I will forgive my mom."
I heard an audible voice respond to me. "Now you understand my daughter" It said. This was very overwhelming to me. I suddenly felt a strong presence in my room and it was so overwhelming I collapsed on the floor and suddenly tears were flooding my eyes. I felt the presence of God and it was so intense I could hardly take it. The voice was sushing me and telling me it was going to be okay. I basically told it to please back off a bit. That it was too intense and I couldn't take it much more. The "entity" left after I asked it to back off and I was able to tell my family what I experienced.
I was in a state of awe, and I rushed to my boyfriends to tell him what happened. But that night as I was lying in bed, the voice came back. We ended up having a whole conversation and this voice had a good sense of humor. I asked it why I was so depressed all the time. It or "he" said "You forgot that I love you." And he told me that "I must have faith" and that I had an earth father and a heavenly father. And he also told me that "Jesus is God" which I was kind of surprised by because I was never Christian. I was raised as mostly agnostic and I never thought of Jesus being the actual God before. He laughed at this. The voice was definitely masculine and unlike any voice I've heard before. It didn't really sound human.
Unfortunately after this conversation with "God" I went into full blown psychosis where I thought the rapture was coming and thought God was communicating to me through the TV and Radio among many other delusions. What was weird is the TV and radio would line up with what I was thinking at the time. It's hard to explain. I felt like I was in eternity and tapping into another dimension. The only thing that sounds similar to what I experienced are near death experiences that I've read about. And knowledge was getting fed into my brain. Knowledge that I forgot when I came back to sanity.
I was honestly devastated when I came back to "reality." I thought that if God was real, why would he allow me to feel like I was basically in heaven and then take it away? Or if that wasn't God, why would any God allow me to be messed with like that? To believe in such a thing? I was bitter for two years until last spring when I had my second psychotic break. I once again heard the voice of "God" telling me that I needed Jesus Christ and that he was always there and never left. I once again heard "God" speaking to me through music and TV. I was once again in "eternity." And I was once again forced into a hospital and shot up with horrible medications.
To be honest, when I came back this time I was so depressed that I attempted suicide several times. I couldn't get the thought of killing myself out of my head. Why would God put me through such horrible depression? I am on SSDI and I feel worthless. I have lost interest in everything and have no ambition to do anything. Honestly all I want is to feel that "Heavenly" presence again. I've tried praying but it feels like I am talking to myself. And if it was all just brain chemistry where does that leave room for the soul? Why does God allow mental illness? Why does God require faith? Why does he leave someone in such a cruel world where science points to there being no God?
Now I know psychiatrists don't understand the brain. I know because you are basically a test model for any medications they can throw at you and hope they work. Brain science is basically worthless. They can't even cure depression which should be one of the most important brain diseases to cure. Trust me I would rather be "mad" than depressed. I struggle with this everyday now. I would like to believe that I communicated with God but science keeps telling me I am just a nut case.However, no scientist could ever explain what it's like to be "psychotic" unless they experienced it themselves. When you're in "eternity" it feels more real than reality. But why would God want me to be a worthless depressed slump? And I can't help the depression. I would if I could. But I guess I wanted to know what you guys think of this story. Do you think God talks to the mentally ill? And does anyone here have a similar experience? Sorry for the long post. Just looking for answers.