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Non-chistian a,s

H

Hello1234

Member
Hi everyone, im just wondering if you guys could please answer some questions for me. I promise theres no malicous intent, so please dont be offended if i say something wrong.

Is it really such a dead set rule that theres no chance for a non-christian and chrsitian to go out? Are all of you so sure that the non-christain will destory your spritual part of your life? That we are only here to try tempt you out of your spiritual ways?*
I find this absolutly absurd, hearing this makes me feel like all of you see is me and other non-christians as a test thought up by the devil, trying to ruin your life and relationship with god.

This happened to me a while ago, no warning, no talking about it, just a big brick wall. This has been probally the fustrating thing thats ever happened to me, its segregation to its fullest extent. Even if someones willing to give christianity a go by going to church, begining to pray,reading the bible and books about jesus and creationism its useless because now they are only doing it for the christain "arnt they", no matter what its a lose lose situation isnt it, they would never do it for themselves would they? (sarcasim). Arrrggggggggg

Please someone explain to me why being equally yolked is the most important thing in the world, and why you would never believe a non-christian is willing to change their life for you.
 
Welcome to CFnet.

I cannot go against the Word of God, and I believe He instructs us not to go forth with a non-believer for very good reasons (though, Him saying it is enough for me).

Dating is often part of the process toward marriage. Having a house divided on such an important matter will cause strife, especially when children enter the picture. Your Christian wife would need your spiritual leadership and support as she tries to raise children in the faith. If she's an honest believer, God's Desire will enter into every decision. You would likely have shared bank accounts. She might well be Lead to support the Church faithfully, and that would probably be seen as a complete waste of money. Nothing easy about that ongoing battle.

I wouldn't take it as personal as you have. We all try to find compatibility, and this difference makes a relationship immensely incompatible.
 
Can someone please delete this thread. It's been two days and the best example is Fighting about money. LoOks like the only excuse you need is "god said so", woo go free will!
 
Why can't this just be a standard just like any other trait someone may be looking for in a relationship? I'm not saying it should be viewed as such, because to Christians, having a Christian companion is of the utmost importance; I'm just saying that you are acting like it is a travesty against all non-believers that Christians don't tend to want to be in relationships with non-believers.

I am a shy man, so I prefer being with women (well a woman) that is more outgoing. Am I discriminating against all shy women when I look for a companion? Not at all; I know myself, and I know being with a shy girl would not work well for me.

The same basic concept applies to your issue. God and the faith are who we are as believers, so if someone does not genuinely believe the same things, or is simply "pretending" to believe for the other's sake, then things will not work, it's as simple as that.
 
So your saying if you met a shy girl that you liked and went on a few dates with, you would just shrug her off because she's shy?

I guess I am making something out of nothing then if everyone thinks like this
 
I am married, with two children and I am a Christian. I accepted Christ in my life AFTER I was married. My husband is not a Christian, he says he "believes", but he is not saved. This is a problem for me. We disagree on the Bible on the rare occasions it is brought up. He rolls his eyes sometimes when I am reading the Bible, which bothers me. But we have children together and I love him, despite our differences. I pray for him to change his ways and I hope one day he will see the positive in me and maybe his life will change. So, I think it can work, but it can also cause problems. Like mentioned by a previous poster, it is a matter of preference. There are certain characteristics people want in a mate, being with a Christian could be important to a Christian. Just like if someone enjoys hiking, for example, they would want someone with common interests, goals or beliefs. I also think a non- believer can change, if they really want to do it for themselves first and foremost. I love my family as much as I love being a Christian.
 
What if they are like me and honestly dont care? If they have no objection with your religion no with the possiability of you sharing it with any children you may have down the road. The only thing that they ask is that you make no attempt to "convert" them. Say they were perfect for you in every other way, respectful of your wishes, treats you with nothing but kindness, listens to your troubles and attempts to help in every possible way, but they arent Christian?
 
Mike said:
Welcome to CFnet.

I cannot go against the Word of God, and I believe He instructs us not to go forth with a non-believer for very good reasons (though, Him saying it is enough for me).

Dating is often part of the process toward marriage. Having a house divided on such an important matter will cause strife, especially when children enter the picture. Your Christian wife would need your spiritual leadership and support as she tries to raise children in the faith. If she's an honest believer, God's Desire will enter into every decision. You would likely have shared bank accounts. She might well be Lead to support the Church faithfully, and that would probably be seen as a complete waste of money. Nothing easy about that ongoing battle.

I wouldn't take it as personal as you have. We all try to find compatibility, and this difference makes a relationship immensely incompatible.
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Just FYI the tithe was a biblical tax, I can assure you I pay far more than 10% for social programs out of my taxes so I have no issues if I dont feel like making a charitable contribution. I do think the church needs money to keep the lights on and such but 10% of my net or even my gross!!! I dont think so.

In OT isreal the 10% tithe WAS IT and you were to live joyusly on the other 90%, not pay 30-40% in taxes and THEN tithe on top of that living on a meager 50-60% of your income, sorry does not wash.
 
Wouldn't it be dreadful to be deeply in love with someone, to be in a relationship with them or married to them, knowing that if the Lord came at this moment, they would suffer a lost eternity? The constant heartbreak of it would be enough in itself to turn me away from any relationship with an unbeliever.

I've had years of strife and misery because I was in a string of relationships with women who weren't Christians but were interested and sympathetic. As far as I know to date, not one of them is saved. I'm not saying that my experience is the rule, but I certainly think that it isn't the exception either.

Now, I'm in love with a believer, and all those failed relationships seem like a distant, bad memory.
 
modernnihilst said:
What if they are like me and honestly dont care? If they have no objection with your religion no with the possiability of you sharing it with any children you may have down the road. The only thing that they ask is that you make no attempt to "convert" them. Say they were perfect for you in every other way, respectful of your wishes, treats you with nothing but kindness, listens to your troubles and attempts to help in every possible way, but they arent Christian?
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I would die inside if my partner wouldnt let me share the gospel and my faith with my children if they turned away from God.

God is THE number one priority in my life and Im not sure if I could share my life with someone who doesnt share that with me, its not a matter of tolerance, or whether my future wife would be ok with my faith, its about SHARING it with them. I would hate to not be able to include my future wife in my prayers and it would be horrible to think that she wasnt saved.

I wouldnt want my partner to chang for me either, they need to form their own relationship wth God, that has nothing to do with my relationship with them, that would be unhealthy and ultimatly destructive.
 
woodlandapple said:
this makes me happy, congrats : )
know that Im praying for both of you
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Thank you very much, woodlandapple! We need your prayers. We're in love, but we can't be together yet, because God is telling us to wait. Also, my family have given me a lot of grief over it because she's black and I'm white...
 
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