Parents of Teenagers - Detached at Church

[Mike]

Before anyone asks, yes we bring "church" home, have discussions about faith, do devotionals at times during dinner, etc.

Does anyone with teens have a problem with them seeming to be emotionally checked out at church? They're there, but they're really somewhere else. I know it's hard for teens, with all of the hormone things going on, and their minds wrapped up in sports, girls/boys, girls/boys, girls/boys, etc.

What's your approach in dealing with this?

Let them be, understanding this phase of life and hope something is reaching them if only on a subconscious level?

Nudge them and encourage them to try to stay focused and listen?

Encourage or even require them to participate? (sing, read out-loud)

Other options I haven't posed?

My wife and I pray for them nightly, but I have to admit, it bothers me more than it does my wife. I go through phases where I let them be and ones where I'm more proactive. I just want church to be meaningful to them, but I don't want them to resent it to the point that they have an aversion to it. I'm afraid, though, that they'll take their disinterest into adulthood and not have an interest in going or making church a part of their lives. I have to be honest and say I was the same way. I continued going as a young adult, but in truth, it was because I didn't want to disappoint my parents. It only became meaningful to me at a turning point in my mid-twenties.

Needing some Godly parenting thoughts here, friends.

 

[PouringRain]

One thing that I think is most important with my children is to teach about relationship. Things like the importance of spending time with God, etc. I also think it is important to teach them to be able to study on their own. One thing I have done is if my teen seems to be having a problem with anything (anger, for example) then I have her do a self-study on it. She might lose the privilege of all electronics (iPod, video games, etc.) until the self-study is complete and we have discussed what she has learned. In church, I have her take notes. In fact, as soon as the child is old enough to be in service they start taking notes. When we attended a family integrated church, I even required my 7-8 year old to "take notes" by copying down the verses used in the sermon, and drawing a picture associated with the sermon.

When I was in my teens, I was a very serious child and much different from my peers in that regard, so it is difficult for me to relate to teens who feel forced to go. I enjoyed going, and not for the socialization. In fact, one thing that turned me off to youth group was when my youth leader decided he was more interested in getting in the numbers, rather than growing those he had in service, so he changed the entire youth group service. It became a rock band, and then an activity, and object lesson. I stopped attending and instead went to the adult service.

My teen is also a very serious person, and she has actually chosen to not attend youth group for two years now. She would rather be in with the adults than in with the youth. I keep waiting for this to change.

Another thing that my teen has liked is I bought her one of those girls-teen study bibles and she has enjoyed reading the various things in it. There were also times when she had to sit in the adult bible study, and I allowed her to read other things provided they were Christian books-- non-fiction. I also buy her devotionals for girls and other things like that.

I dunno if any of these suggestion will help or not.

 

[handy]

Mike,

Honestly, it seems as if my teen daughter spends most of her time at church receiving "googly eyes" from one of two very cute acolytes and I must admit, she does get distracted and she does very much enjoy it. They are after all, very cute and she is a 13 year old girl!

Our approach has been that she must keep it under control (if anyone else notices, it's not under control) and to just recognize that this is a phase the kids are going through.

So far, I've been pleasantly surprised to find that even when I think my daughter is totally distracted by cute acolytes or just tuned out, the pastor will say something in his sermon, or something will be read that she'll nudge me about. So, even when it appears to all outward appearances that she is completely detached, she isn't.

We're pretty early days into teen years though. I'm sure there are even bigger battles ahead than just goofy acolytes, but, you know the old saying "pick your battles wisely". Really engaged/involved during worship is probably not a hill I would want to die on, when they will most likely settle into a newer and deeper relationship with God during worship on their own in a couple of years anyway. The teen years are all about sifting out which of your parent's values are going to become the values you take with you into adulthood. Because of our sin nature, this usually takes the form of seemingly to discredit or dismiss things that are important to the parents, but as long as you keep dialogs open and don't encourage rebellion by pushing too hard, they usually come out OK in the end.

One thing you might want to do is to ask your pastor to make it a point to ask them questions about the service and about their relationship with God in general. If they know that it isn't just you thinking that being engaged during worship and walking daily with God is important, they might tune in more.

 

[jasoncran]

some adults are distracted. i get easily distracted at times, especially on wednesday nights. the tuesday night wrestling training at bjj stay in my head till the next time i go which is thursday.

 

[Mike]

Thanks for the replies folks! Keep 'em comin'.

MA, you're point was well taken, and I'm glad you added the part about the 75%, if you know what I mean. When you're at church, and the pastor is speaking to people of all ages, it's hard to have messages that reach everyone.

PR, things got more complicated when we went from having 1 to adopting 2 kids. The sports guy in me says we went from man-man defense to zone coverage. I'm afraid, in having more than 2, it gets tougher. There were years where I swear we never missed a night (or very few) of devotionals. Add the fact that they were younger, from foster care, so they needed more attention, and there was less 1-on-1 with them. They each have devotionals for boys and girls respectively.

Handy, I'll talk with them about the message afterward, hoping they're absorbing more than meets the eye, but too often, they can't remember what he talked about. :gah I would more understand if they were checking other people out. It's the blank look, staring at the back of the chair in front of me that gets me!

And Jason, to that point, it's not the distractions. It's the blank look that I'm talking about.

Thanks, guys and gals!

 

[PouringRain]

I'm afraid, in having more than 2, it gets tougher.

Agreed. I know this well.

 

[Igor]

...But one way my parents kept me mentaly engaged in christianity was by asking me questions about the sermon or some other topic relating to the religion...and they spoke to me like an adult.

Oh Mujahid, I have only been on this forum a short time, but some of the things I have seen you post show such wisdom. Should you ever consider changing, rest assured, Christianity has a place where you are needed!

Mike, I used to be a youth pastor and worked primarily with high school and college teenagers for several years. It’s been many years since I have done that, but I don’t think the basic thought processes of teens has changed much. Different environment and some different temptations and stresses maybe, but they still think pretty much the same way. (And they really don’t think much different than us adults think and would act if we were put in our teens shoes.) Maybe sharing a few of my learning experiences from working with the kids will give some encouragement or ideas to you.

You could, in your authority as parent over a minor child, force them to go to church when they don't want too. You might, after much fighting, get them in the building. But will it be meaningful to them? Probably not. Will something reach them on a subconscious level? Probably not. It probably will reach them on a very conscious level, and they will probably choose to rebel against it. Require (force) them to sing or read out loud? Have you ever had anyone force you to sing or read aloud when you didn’t want to? Did you truly get anything positive from being forced to sing or read? Probably not! Take sermon notes? Well, yeah, if your kids already show at least a little interest that might help to keep them focused. But it sounds like yours are showing next to no interest at all.

The first thing you need to do quickly (and may already have) is take a good hard look at the quality of your church’s youth program (assuming they have one at all). I don’t mean to look at how well intentioned it is. I mean look at what is actually being done and accomplished. Is it being run at least by a dedicated and successful person who is getting results? Or better yet, run by a paid staff member (probably a pastor) who knows how to run a youth program (not all pastors do) and actually has the time to do it properly because he doesn’t have to spend a large part of his life at a secular job? If it is, and assuming you don’t live in an area that is devoid of teens for some reason, you will see dedicated teens in your church that are excited about God and excited about what is going on in their church. If not, well, sorry to say this, but you need to find a church that has such a program if you really want your teens to be excited about church.

Remember, a large part of their lives up to this point have only consisted of being forced to sit in classes at school listening to teachers lecture them all day, every day of the week. Sitting for 45 minutes listening to a pastor lecture them during the typical Sunday morning worship service isn’t really much different in their eyes. Some rare kids may be ok with this, but it doesn't sound like your's are. Let's look at it this way; If you are a, let’s say, a truck driver by profession for most of your life, delivering boring, non-descript loads of freight 5 days a week, how excited would you be about getting up early every Sunday morning to go out and drive your truck around delivering more loads, and doing it for free? Now I’m not trying to belittle worship services. But your teens are understandably tired of being lectured and quizzed all the time! I’m not saying they shouldn’t go to Sunday morning worship, or that you should avoid discussing things like the sermon with them. But those discussions should be on an equal level, allowing them to feel free to express their ideas (and disappointments or disagreements) just as with other adults, and also with your understanding that probably the sermon was geared more toward things that you would relate to more so than your teens would, and remembering that hearing a lecture is a pretty boring routine for them to begin with. Try to be understanding if they don’t relate to the sermon and worship service as much as you do. So, with that said, there really needs to be much more than Sunday Morning worship if you want your teens to actually be excited about church!

You can work wonders in the life of a teen when you as a parent (or anyone in authority over a teen) exhibits an ability and willingness to talk to them as an adult, treat them as an adult, and also have the same expectations of them that you would have of an adult. I know they aren't adults, bu they really do have more adult capability than most parents give them credit for. But that doesn’t mean they can do as they please without consequences. We adults can’t do that either. It does mean that after giving them sound advice as you would to any adult, that you let them make their own choices (within reason, of course!) and then allow them to reap the rewards when their choices are good, and allow them to suffer the consequences when their choices are bad. And there is nothing wrong with pointing out to them why they are suffering consequences either. By now, you and others in their lives (teachers, pastors, etc) have taught them Christian values as well as secular values (don’t break the law, etc, etc). They know these things and have the ability to follow them. Believe me, they really do, probably more so than you realize! Many times they rebel just because they feel they aren’t respected or trusted anyway, so they don’t see why they should bother doing what is right. (Adults can develop the same attitude by the way.) Treating them as adults and expecting them to react to that like adults can go a long way to helping you and them have better fellowship during your own private devotions and discussions as well as making them more willing to attend church with you. Now add in a dynamic and successful youth program for them at the church, and you may be sorry you got them so involved! Now you might have to put up with their constant begging you for rides to church, money to go on activities, etc, etc, etc!

<O:p
Many years have passed now since I worked with the teens (a couple of those kids are even grandparents and, sadly, some have died), but a few of the kids have kept in touch with me, and I have heard news of others too. Even though these kids came from a gang infested, problem ridden and racially tense neighborhood, those I have heard of developed into well rounded, responsible adults. Some are Christian leaders, counselors, Sunday school teachers, pastors, and the like. I know that for many of them, the experience of getting to know God in their teens drastically affected their lives for the good. It can be really difficult to relate to your teens in these ways, but it is so important for them to get involved with God during this time that I think it’s worth the effort. Even if it means making some changes so they can start to appreciate church for what it was meant to be. <O:p

 

[Tina]

.

Now add in a dynamic and successful youth program for them at the church, and you may be sorry you got them so involved! Now you might have to put up with their constant begging you for rides to church, money to go on activities, etc, etc, etc!

I absolutely agree with you !


We have a successful Youth ministry and service in my church in which the auditorium that seats more than 1000 is easily filled every weekend evenings. Most of these youths come on their own without parents. They are excited about worshipping God and hearing sermons. Our youth services are one of the most vibrant and dynamic. The reasons that draws them to church are the sermons and fellowship. The preachers are able to relate to youths in humorous ways while imparting God's Word in such a way that are relevant and real to them. These preachers are not necesaarily youth pastors, in fact some of them are senior pastors in their 60's, still the youths look forward to hearing them preach. The moment an altar call is made after the sermons for prayers, many of them do not hesitate to jump off their seats and rush to the front to be prayed for and be blessed. Many of our children and youths are also actively trained to be missionaries and they love doing it ... One time we had a healing service and the entire service was almost solely run by youths and children praying for the adults - with guidance from the adults of course, but only the youths and children were allowed to pray for the sick. Many instant healings were reported in that service ! When God works through children and youths that way, how can they not get excited about church ?

<O:p
Many years have passed now since I worked with the teens (a couple of those kids are even grandparents and, sadly, some have died) <O:p

LOL, really ?? ... How ancient are you ?

 

[Igor]

.LOL, really ?? ... How ancient are you ?

Yeah, scary thought isn't it! I started pretty young and don't care to think about how old I've gotten. (And the grandparents as well as their children started a little young on their child rearing as well) But when people ask my age, I give them the same answer that Jack Benny used to give. "I'm 39." (And if you remember Jack Benny, you, like me and Jack, are definitely older than 39 and have been for a while.)

 

[jasoncran]

Thanks for the replies folks! Keep 'em comin'.

MA, you're point was well taken, and I'm glad you added the part about the 75%, if you know what I mean. When you're at church, and the pastor is speaking to people of all ages, it's hard to have messages that reach everyone.

PR, things got more complicated when we went from having 1 to adopting 2 kids. The sports guy in me says we went from man-man defense to zone coverage. I'm afraid, in having more than 2, it gets tougher. There were years where I swear we never missed a night (or very few) of devotionals. Add the fact that they were younger, from foster care, so they needed more attention, and there was less 1-on-1 with them. They each have devotionals for boys and girls respectively.

Handy, I'll talk with them about the message afterward, hoping they're absorbing more than meets the eye, but too often, they can't remember what he talked about. :gah I would more understand if they were checking other people out. It's the blank look, staring at the back of the chair in front of me that gets me!

And Jason, to that point, it's not the distractions. It's the blank look that I'm talking about.

Thanks, guys and gals!

deer in the headlight look, hmm i will ponder my days as a sunday school teachers with teens a few yrs back.

i got some of that as well

 

[handy]

For what it's worth, Mike, our pastor catechizes kids starting in 5th grade, simply so that they are finished with the process by the time they are teenagers. His reason being that when kids are 10-12, they are still excited by church and like being there. He said that by the time kids get into the teens, they act too bored and are too uncooperative.

 

[Mike]

More great stuff!

Jason, not the "deer in the headlights look" either! You're not getting me. It's the "blank mind" look, waiting for it to end so they can go to the car.

To others' posts, we actually have a vibrant childrens ministry. Our VBS each year attracts a huge attendance. And the Sunday School program for them seems good, but our kids are basically using the same program from 1st grade to 4th. By the time they get to 4th, it's too childish for them IMO. Fifth through 6th has their own level with monthly fellowship events (bowling, dodgeball, etc.), 7th & 8th graders have another with more interesting events, and then there high school age youth group (bon fires, road rallies). We have a new girl who joined us 2 years ago with a degree in youth ministry. She's very upbeat with great plans, but we have a big church (attached to a school) and it tends to be like turning a barge when someone overhauls a program - and this one NEEDED overhauling. Like "Extreme Youth Group Makeover - Church Addition"!

The kids of all ages have a lot of fun in their own age groups, but when it comes to church, ...

 

[Igor]

...but we have a big church (attached to a school) and it tends to be like turning a barge when someone overhauls a program - and this one NEEDED overhauling...

And therein lays the problem. Your teens reaction in church fits the profile of this scenario perfectly. At first, I didn't want to come right out and say I think your church youth program has problems, but I did suggest looking for a better one, didn't I? However, you’re lucky in that you have a new director who has had enough time now to make some difference. I know it takes time to turn a barge around, but in two years she should have made some significant improvements that should be attractive to the kids (assuming the barge you are referring too isn’t the barge of church politics that she is fighting. If that’s the case, better look for another church!) It might be that some of the kids like yours just haven’t had the opportunity of growing up in the younger groups while hearing of and looking forward to entering the teen groups, so they just don’t understand that there are good things going on now that are new.

Of course, the main reason for getting them excited about the youth program isn’t just to get them involved in the youth program (while still sitting in the worship service as if they were in a coma). It’s to get them excited about church in general, which can open up their minds and hearts to the rest of the congregation (including you and your wife!) Hopefully your new director understands this and is working toward this goal with the teens.

Have you scheduled a meeting and sat down to discuss this with the new director? Even if it’s a big church, her focus should be on ministering to individuals, not just on the overall size of the group, or how successful it appears to outsiders or church management. She should welcome the opportunity to help you with this and be willing to take the time. I think having a good honest heart to heart talk with her would be a great next step for you.

 

[jasoncran]

More great stuff!

Jason, not the "deer in the headlights look" either! You're not getting me. It's the "blank mind" look, waiting for it to end so they can go to the car.

To others' posts, we actually have a vibrant childrens ministry. Our VBS each year attracts a huge attendance. And the Sunday School program for them seems good, but our kids are basically using the same program from 1st grade to 4th. By the time they get to 4th, it's too childish for them IMO. Fifth through 6th has their own level with monthly fellowship events (bowling, dodgeball, etc.), 7th & 8th graders have another with more interesting events, and then there high school age youth group (bon fires, road rallies). We have a new girl who joined us 2 years ago with a degree in youth ministry. She's very upbeat with great plans, but we have a big church (attached to a school) and it tends to be like turning a barge when someone overhauls a program - and this one NEEDED overhauling. Like "Extreme Youth Group Makeover - Church Addition"!

The kids of all ages have a lot of fun in their own age groups, but when it comes to church, ...

that, ok i can write pages on that, dealt with that all the time in sunday school.

imho its due to the fact they we are the elder person are telling them how to live thier lives and that world tells them the opposite of what we say.
i wanted to make sunday school more interesting but the pastors and directors had limited funds and also told me not to change things.

but even then when i stopped a kid whose mom was dead when i started that class(i knew his dad and dated his mom before she met and married the father of that kid.) and the lad knew this and i used to visit her alot and his grandma as they lived behind me.

he missed me and wanted me to show him the word. as his real dad like my grandsons dad, disowned him. so i became an influence to him.

i need to visit him and check in on him.
they do listen just dont want to let us know. pride

 

[Mike]

And therein lays the problem. Your teens reaction in church fits the profile of this scenario perfectly. At first, I didn't want to come right out and say I think your church youth program has problems, but I did suggest looking for a better one, didn't I? However, you’re lucky in that you have a new director who has had enough time now to make some difference. I know it takes time to turn a barge around, but in two years she should have made some significant improvements that should be attractive to the kids (assuming the barge you are referring too isn’t the barge of church politics that she is fighting. If that’s the case, better look for another church!) It might be that some of the kids like yours just haven’t had the opportunity of growing up in the younger groups while hearing of and looking forward to entering the teen groups, so they just don’t understand that there are good things going on now that are new.

Of course, the main reason for getting them excited about the youth program isn’t just to get them involved in the youth program (while still sitting in the worship service as if they were in a coma). It’s to get them excited about church in general, which can open up their minds and hearts to the rest of the congregation (including you and your wife!) Hopefully your new director understands this and is working toward this goal with the teens.

Have you scheduled a meeting and sat down to discuss this with the new director? Even if it’s a big church, her focus should be on ministering to individuals, not just on the overall size of the group, or how successful it appears to outsiders or church management. She should welcome the opportunity to help you with this and be willing to take the time. I think having a good honest heart to heart talk with her would be a great next step for you.

Igor, there's probably a lot of truth in what you are saying about our youth program and the "new" youth minister, having had 2 years under her belt. It's just hard for me to hear, because this has been our home for a long time. Our kids went to school there (2 still do) and we're pretty involved. I've been on a few different boards (the elder board and the school board), and I've seen the business side of the church. It was hard being that locked in on what was going on behind the scenes, because I saw the "ugly" side of it. I've seen the politics, the coalitions and the personality conflicts that the average member doesn't. But most of them are great people.

Sorry. Got on a tangent there. You have a good point in getting proactive with the youth minister. Rather than leave, I'd like to do what I can to improve things. And sometimes that means ruffling some feathers, but to your point, she'd probably welcome the effort.

Okay, but back to point. My main question was how parents deal with their children on the spot when they're not connecting in church. I've received some good stuff that I'll consider. If anyone has anything else, I'll listen. If not, I'll take what I've received.

Thanks!!!

 

[handy]

My main question was how parents deal with their children on the spot when they're not connecting in church.

Just be really careful about the "on the spot" part. For a teen, any thing that even hints of parental discipline in public is bad news. Unless something is really egregious, it's best to wait until riding home in the car to reprimand the teen set.

I'm not sure if your kids went through this in catechism, but right now mine are learning about the liturgy and what benefits us within it. Perhaps you can talk about different parts of the liturgy on your way into church and ask them about why God would be interested in us doing that as part of worship. Doing this right before divine service might give them some food thought when that part of the liturgy comes up.

We had a small problem with my son once. He pocketed a candy bar as we were walking through the checkout. Thank goodness my hubby saw him do it and made him put it back right then and there. We disciplined him for it, and also spoke to our pastor about it. The pastor then talked with him, very quietly and quickly as they were getting into their vestments about the confession within the liturgy. I know that since then, Thomas, who is pretty good at not following along, (especially when he's acolyte and the whole church can see my son zoning out ), is really paying attention during the confession, because it was brought home and personalized for him.

 

[Mike]

I'm not sure if your kids went through this in catechism, but right now mine are learning about the liturgy and what benefits us within it. Perhaps you can talk about different parts of the liturgy on your way into church and ask them about why God would be interested in us doing that as part of worship. Doing this right before divine service might give them some food thought when that part of the liturgy comes up.

Dora, I know you mentioned this before, but this is something potentially huge. I could work with them on my own AND go to the pastors about focusing their training, so they recognize the things going on. Very good advice. Very Good!

 

[Timf]

Let them be, understanding this phase of life and hope something is reaching them if only on a subconscious level?

The reason teens are disengaged in church is that church is boring. The reason we do church as a one hour lecture is because every seminary student spends four years sitting in classrooms and assumes that Christianity is just the continuation of the classroom.

The reason church members put up with church as a classroom lecture is because parents themselves have all spent 12 years sitting in boring classrooms and often their jobs are just a continuation of sitting in boring classrooms.

Pastors may try to use all sorts of lecture tricks to be entertaining or otherwise draw interest, but it is still a lecture.

You shouldn't "let them be". God may be using their honest reaction to communicate something to you. This is the only time you might be able to reach them with truth. You loose credibility when you attempt to endorse traditional or current church practice as optimum because it isn't true. Just because most Christians have been browbeaten when they were young to accept the traditional church service as "right" or "good" does not make it true.

You might want to consider reading the New Testament with your teens and asking them if what is being described in the Bible for Christians is what you both see happening in your church. Don't assume that if your children don't see your church the way that you do that they are automatically wrong. Do you see Christians exhorting each other to love and good deeds. Do you see Christians carrying each others burdens. Or do you see an organizational machine conforming everyone to its practices through events, activities, programs, and classes.

You may want to consider that God may want you to reexamine your church practice and seek to be conformed to the image of Christ rather than conforming your teens to the image of the church.

The church model of a pastor running a church machine (even with a staff) is not the same as church elders equipping the saints for the work of the ministry (helping each Christian grow into the image of Christ so that each Christian shows Christ's love and wisdom to each other).

Today's Christians are rather like the Pharisees in that we have a tendency to think that whatever we are doing is right and anything contrary must be fought. The boredom of your teens may not be an indication of a defect in them, but an indication of a defect in your church to which you have grown accustom and have accepted as normal.

The solution to the problem of bored teens is not a more entertaining youth pastor or more useless youth "activities". The solution for Christian teens is the same as it is for Christian children and Christian adults, becoming more like Jesus. It is sad but some of our most cherished church traditions often act as an impediment to this.

 

[Danus]

Needing some Godly parenting thoughts here, friends.

Mike I could not help thinking back to my teen years, my parents and church. I was a strong willed child mixed with parents who gave me wide room. I stopped going to church about 13 to 14 years old.

My folks where, and still are, extremely devote Christians. Very involved in church, missions ect. They where closed off to the world and I took every advantage of it....or so I thought.

One thing my parents did do, was give me a solid foundation. If not for that foundation I don't know where I'd have been. I asked them once if they where surprised at how I ended up. (Meaning embarrassing Christianity) They looked at me and said; "NO. Proverbs 22:6, Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it."

My mom said that my dad would remind her of that every time she got upset thinking about my negative feelings about God and how I embraced the world. She also said; "Don't think we where not there for you when you turned away. We where there in the most difficult way, in faith. We never pushed you. We stood firm to that verse, and the thought that your sole was entrusted to us to guide in our way for a reason." .....They where right. ;) Take the advice from two old Christians in their 80's who managed to raise a knucklehead smart-A%$ kid who turned out OK.

Now I'm a parent. I have one who is standing at the threshold of pre-teen. I'm I going to push her? Well, no.

I have and will continue to build on a Christian foundation I've started. I have a different style then my folks had. I'm still sure I know more, but what does it matter? At some point I know I'm going to have to lean on my faith in this matter just as they did, regardless of how smart I think I am in the matter.... Their entrusted to me for a reason and I'm going to ultimately do what my parents did. Proverbs 22:6, Train a child in the way he (She) should go, and when he (She) is old he (She) will not turn from it.

It's easy for me to say now I know, but perhaps my un-jaded thoughts on this will help before the inevitable day comes when I'll be asking you, or Handy, or anyone else for the same advice.

 

[handy]

Well, in just the few short months since I last posted on this thread my daughter went into "teen overdrive". :o

She used to be such a fun, sweet thing.

About the ONLY reason why she wants to go to church these days is because there are two cute boys there who are vying for her attentions. Garrrrhhh!

Trying to get her to memorize a catechism lesson or a text is like trying to bathe a cat.

Do I really have 4.5 more years to put up with this...:crazy