Christ_empowered
Member
yes, yes; me, yet again.
I think The Lord has seen fit to bring deliverance in my life, in the here and now. Praise God! Problem? not The Lord, at all or ever...not my long suffering, wonderful parents...
I think its...."God's work in this world is -always- met with opposition." I read that in some big book on Protestant doctrine. fun fact: 300+ pages, that's the -1- sentence I remember.
I am labeled with "Schizophrenia," among other things. Truth? I kinda think...9 years into truly Knowing Jesus...that I have been blessed with a spirit "...of power, a spirit of love, and a spirit of a --sound mind-- ..." and now...
well, it stands to reason that I'd be labeled, big time, now doesn't it? lol. I think a lot of it is because I cannot support myself. Not to whine and all -- I'm thankful for what's left of the safety net in the US, my family, all that -- but a lot of it is more because of labels and "the way the world works" than a true, chronic, never ending disability, per se. true of a lot of "mental patients,' btw.
so, I try to just...keep on keepin' on. I mean, what else is there -to do- , anyway? I have a modest but -nice- place that I can live in, I have a vehicle, I'm healthy, somehow I even look noticeably younger than my 37 years...I'm apparently "extremely intelligent," and somehow there's a "high IQ (estimate)," which is awesome....not because of some high IQ estimate, but because its sort of like Jesus saying....this is part of my plan of redemption, for you.
and people openly say things like "his parents --cannot-- support him" and "oh, he lives at (my complex) ? I'm calling the Home Owner's Association!," and...blah blah blah. I -was- absolutely wretched. I see now, the world is so ridiculously cruel...
it wasn't -just- the mental health industry. I doubt it ever is. My own sins, self-(everything), satan, and the world combined to create....an especially wretched, often pathetic, hot mess. Past nicknames included: society's reject, creature from the black lagoon, Frankenstein (because of the brain damage from psych "treatment," much of it involuntary...). Again: this isn't so much a pity party as it is the realization (no, really!) : this is the real world, in action. I could easily have been put in prison and/or the state hospital or be on the streets, could have died in my mess, could have ended up living in never ending poverty and heavy, unbuffered psych control (read: psychiatric slavery...its very real, trust me), and yet...
God is Love. My parents are amazing, as well. so...
Getting...nervous, at times. My dad got me one of those newer, hi-tech, DIY security systems. I mean...one is to self-install and then there's monitoring with some company. OK. Thankfully, I have cameras -- 2 pointing outwards, 1 inside. I had to install it and get it up, asap, because someone literally stole a coffee maker I was super excited about from inside my apartment. Not to whine, but...it was on sale, and it could do hot -and- cold coffee, and it could do a little bit of coffee or a good bit of coffee at a time, which would have saved me wasted coffee. And then someone stole it. That was fun. :-(
the cameras have cut down on the level of free range bullying, intimidation, and nastiness. I think I'm not really...welcome, here. I went inside the office to pay my HOA fees the past couple of times. new office people, they changed things around so now I have to actually -go in- to make sure they get it, vs before when there was a clearly marked box outside I could drop it off it. OK. so, both times, now, people were making snarky, rude comments and...yeah...
basically, again: I could easily be in prison, state hospital, all that. I have a serious ("Class A") misdemeanor on my record, which is something of a miracle, in and of itself (read: result of plea bargain...original charges -much worse- ). So, there's that. But I've lived here for a bit over 3 years, now, with no major problems or incidents that I know of, and my unit is again, not super fancy or anything, but nice, well-maintained, and its got a great view. and its owned, outright, by family...which kind of show's God's mercy towards my family and me, because they got a good deal 3 years ago, and now the value is up to the point where buying it outright would be more of a stretch, I think. rambling...moving on...
"he's on a -court order- " and "he needs -permission- to live here!" and apparently there are people saying that "he's living off his rich uncle!" and...??? I don't get it. Court orders are just a judge signing off on a period of treatment for "mental illness." Its...somewhat common, in criminal cases that involve a mental health component, but I didn't have one. I was expected to comply with treatment for the term of probation (3 years, in my case), and...done. done. At state funded hospitals, patients are often put on court orders for 6 months to 1 year after discharge because...??? I think its more punishment for being troubled and not being able to go to a private facility than anything else. Thankfully...
I haven't been hospitalized in nearly 15 years. Both times were "voluntary" (read: no commitment), both were private places. Good insurance is all that was about. and...
OK, so I don't get it. the level of nastiness and free range bullying is getting a little ridiculous. for whatever reason, I go to this convenience store here...small, local chain. So, I was looking for an iced coffee drink, and this dude...was openly taunting me with "court order!" and all this junk. I didn't know him. Don't think I've ever seen him in my life, but...yeah. yeah. I live in a small city, btw. Not quite as bad as a small town, but...apparently I'm notorious, somehow?
Thankfully, my parents are -very- good to me. I've been off probation (early!) for a tad over 5 years, now, no additional offenses, just a seat belt violation. Its getting...ridiculous. I'm learning to lean into Jesus to get thru it, my problem is...
the creepy mind-game factor is way up there, and I'm just trying to live a decent life, as best I can.
as always...thanks!
I think The Lord has seen fit to bring deliverance in my life, in the here and now. Praise God! Problem? not The Lord, at all or ever...not my long suffering, wonderful parents...
I think its...."God's work in this world is -always- met with opposition." I read that in some big book on Protestant doctrine. fun fact: 300+ pages, that's the -1- sentence I remember.
I am labeled with "Schizophrenia," among other things. Truth? I kinda think...9 years into truly Knowing Jesus...that I have been blessed with a spirit "...of power, a spirit of love, and a spirit of a --sound mind-- ..." and now...
well, it stands to reason that I'd be labeled, big time, now doesn't it? lol. I think a lot of it is because I cannot support myself. Not to whine and all -- I'm thankful for what's left of the safety net in the US, my family, all that -- but a lot of it is more because of labels and "the way the world works" than a true, chronic, never ending disability, per se. true of a lot of "mental patients,' btw.
so, I try to just...keep on keepin' on. I mean, what else is there -to do- , anyway? I have a modest but -nice- place that I can live in, I have a vehicle, I'm healthy, somehow I even look noticeably younger than my 37 years...I'm apparently "extremely intelligent," and somehow there's a "high IQ (estimate)," which is awesome....not because of some high IQ estimate, but because its sort of like Jesus saying....this is part of my plan of redemption, for you.
and people openly say things like "his parents --cannot-- support him" and "oh, he lives at (my complex) ? I'm calling the Home Owner's Association!," and...blah blah blah. I -was- absolutely wretched. I see now, the world is so ridiculously cruel...
it wasn't -just- the mental health industry. I doubt it ever is. My own sins, self-(everything), satan, and the world combined to create....an especially wretched, often pathetic, hot mess. Past nicknames included: society's reject, creature from the black lagoon, Frankenstein (because of the brain damage from psych "treatment," much of it involuntary...). Again: this isn't so much a pity party as it is the realization (no, really!) : this is the real world, in action. I could easily have been put in prison and/or the state hospital or be on the streets, could have died in my mess, could have ended up living in never ending poverty and heavy, unbuffered psych control (read: psychiatric slavery...its very real, trust me), and yet...
God is Love. My parents are amazing, as well. so...
Getting...nervous, at times. My dad got me one of those newer, hi-tech, DIY security systems. I mean...one is to self-install and then there's monitoring with some company. OK. Thankfully, I have cameras -- 2 pointing outwards, 1 inside. I had to install it and get it up, asap, because someone literally stole a coffee maker I was super excited about from inside my apartment. Not to whine, but...it was on sale, and it could do hot -and- cold coffee, and it could do a little bit of coffee or a good bit of coffee at a time, which would have saved me wasted coffee. And then someone stole it. That was fun. :-(
the cameras have cut down on the level of free range bullying, intimidation, and nastiness. I think I'm not really...welcome, here. I went inside the office to pay my HOA fees the past couple of times. new office people, they changed things around so now I have to actually -go in- to make sure they get it, vs before when there was a clearly marked box outside I could drop it off it. OK. so, both times, now, people were making snarky, rude comments and...yeah...
basically, again: I could easily be in prison, state hospital, all that. I have a serious ("Class A") misdemeanor on my record, which is something of a miracle, in and of itself (read: result of plea bargain...original charges -much worse- ). So, there's that. But I've lived here for a bit over 3 years, now, with no major problems or incidents that I know of, and my unit is again, not super fancy or anything, but nice, well-maintained, and its got a great view. and its owned, outright, by family...which kind of show's God's mercy towards my family and me, because they got a good deal 3 years ago, and now the value is up to the point where buying it outright would be more of a stretch, I think. rambling...moving on...
"he's on a -court order- " and "he needs -permission- to live here!" and apparently there are people saying that "he's living off his rich uncle!" and...??? I don't get it. Court orders are just a judge signing off on a period of treatment for "mental illness." Its...somewhat common, in criminal cases that involve a mental health component, but I didn't have one. I was expected to comply with treatment for the term of probation (3 years, in my case), and...done. done. At state funded hospitals, patients are often put on court orders for 6 months to 1 year after discharge because...??? I think its more punishment for being troubled and not being able to go to a private facility than anything else. Thankfully...
I haven't been hospitalized in nearly 15 years. Both times were "voluntary" (read: no commitment), both were private places. Good insurance is all that was about. and...
OK, so I don't get it. the level of nastiness and free range bullying is getting a little ridiculous. for whatever reason, I go to this convenience store here...small, local chain. So, I was looking for an iced coffee drink, and this dude...was openly taunting me with "court order!" and all this junk. I didn't know him. Don't think I've ever seen him in my life, but...yeah. yeah. I live in a small city, btw. Not quite as bad as a small town, but...apparently I'm notorious, somehow?
Thankfully, my parents are -very- good to me. I've been off probation (early!) for a tad over 5 years, now, no additional offenses, just a seat belt violation. Its getting...ridiculous. I'm learning to lean into Jesus to get thru it, my problem is...
the creepy mind-game factor is way up there, and I'm just trying to live a decent life, as best I can.
as always...thanks!