Christ_empowered
Member
I know...I should blog or journal, lol. I thought, in an electroshocked, childish haze, that my physical health, my restored intelligence (not super genius, just...I write well and I can handle college work and engage in the world around me), and my family harmony were the point. I know, selfish. Self-centered. Childhish.
What can I say...electroshock makes for good patients. You're still crazy, but more manageable. Doesn't make for good citizens, doesn't make for good Christians, doesn't do much to improve the patient's life, actually, because...well, that's not the point. Especially when the zaps are involuntary.
Lately, I've been developing more of a conscience. As in: what would Jesus say about this particular behavior? Not that I'm engaging in deviant, crazy behavior. Now that I think about it...I think God first cleaned me up, got my aberrant behavior under control and made me more normal, and now...
...a heart of flesh, not of stone. Definitely a work-in-progress. I feel that I'm just now coming to Reality...its been a long vacation, so I guess a gradual return is appropriate. I realize now that I don't deserve what Christ has done, is doing, and I (of course) pray He will do. Nobody does. I'm not big on emphasizing my lack of merit, lol. My Pentecostal friend tells me that nobody deserves salvation; its a gift.
Realizing how little I deserve it though, and how unnecessary it is/was to save me, of all people, or anyone, really...wow. Salvation isn't really free, is it? It costs you...well, you. The old you/me, anyway.
So, yeah...not only am I easing back into Reality, I'm developing a moral compass, one that wouldn't be there if it wasn't for Christ. I can't just do anything, even think anything, read anything, say anything...not just because its "bad," but because its inherently wrong. God didn't "say so" for no reason. Boundaries...parameters of acceptable and unacceptable ways of thinking, living, acting, being...
...yup yup. Praise!
What can I say...electroshock makes for good patients. You're still crazy, but more manageable. Doesn't make for good citizens, doesn't make for good Christians, doesn't do much to improve the patient's life, actually, because...well, that's not the point. Especially when the zaps are involuntary.
Lately, I've been developing more of a conscience. As in: what would Jesus say about this particular behavior? Not that I'm engaging in deviant, crazy behavior. Now that I think about it...I think God first cleaned me up, got my aberrant behavior under control and made me more normal, and now...
...a heart of flesh, not of stone. Definitely a work-in-progress. I feel that I'm just now coming to Reality...its been a long vacation, so I guess a gradual return is appropriate. I realize now that I don't deserve what Christ has done, is doing, and I (of course) pray He will do. Nobody does. I'm not big on emphasizing my lack of merit, lol. My Pentecostal friend tells me that nobody deserves salvation; its a gift.
Realizing how little I deserve it though, and how unnecessary it is/was to save me, of all people, or anyone, really...wow. Salvation isn't really free, is it? It costs you...well, you. The old you/me, anyway.
So, yeah...not only am I easing back into Reality, I'm developing a moral compass, one that wouldn't be there if it wasn't for Christ. I can't just do anything, even think anything, read anything, say anything...not just because its "bad," but because its inherently wrong. God didn't "say so" for no reason. Boundaries...parameters of acceptable and unacceptable ways of thinking, living, acting, being...
...yup yup. Praise!
