Christ_empowered
Member
- Oct 23, 2010
- 14,243
- 10,724
I come here often w/ my problems and "issues" and concerns. Every now and then, though...I have to praise The Lord!
My dad and I are getting closer. We're going to church on Sunday. I'm doing well in school. I'm actually smart enough for college-level work, which is a miracle in and of itself. I'm learning, slowly, how to brush people off. What they say doesn't matter a whole lot to me, not really....I just can't let it. Bullies are everywhere. I used to think there was a place...over There...where things would be great. Let's call this place...Utopia. There is no Utopia. Life can be rough and hard, and Jesus...well, "my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Nobody's life is really all that easy, not really, but mine is tremendously, massively improved since I came to Christ. Its...inner-transformation, the sort of thing that no shrink, no counselor, no self-help book can accomplish.
And I praise God for my freedom. I wasn't guaranteed a misdemeanor (I was charged with a felony) or probation. I got both, which is a miracle in and of itself. Usually, when shrinks want an "uppity" patient (read: "trouble maker") locked up, they get their wish.
I'm finally thinking more about other people and how they view things and also about following social norms and applying Christian morality. Its weird...when I was in The Fairy Land, I thought I was the #1, Gold Star Christian. I wasn't even saved, lol. Now, I'm coming out of the la-la-land and I realize: life--real life--starts here, starts now. And I'm blessed. The Lord saved me at 28, but I didn't get transformed and "recover" (that's the mental health word, anyway) until 30/31. I'm (thankfully) too old for "The sins of youth" and such. I'm also too young to just give up, although...I wonder...what sort of job, if any, does The Lord have in mind for me? The more I think about it...I have a beautiful life story, I'm intelligent, I'm physically healthy, and...above all else...I've been saved and set free. Oh, and my parents...they're warming up to me. I realize now that my mother still thinks of me as the snot nosed brat I was as a teenager and into my 20th year. My dad...he's actually nicer to me, many times, than she is, despite...everything...
Anyway, I guess I'm saying...I don't matter to my community. I wasn't "good enough" for my HS, for my college, for the "professionals" who were paid $$$ to at least pretend to care. I wasn't "good enough" for proper medical care when I needed it, on and on it goes...but I was "good enough" for Christ. I just had to truly come to the end of myself and ask Him to save me, and...lo and behold...He did! Of course, He loves me too much to leave me the way I am, so my progress is ongoing (true of every Born Again child of God).
Praise God! I may never be able to get a job, I may never have a family, I may never "matter" to my community or society at large, but I do matter to Christ. He truly is with "the least of these."
My dad and I are getting closer. We're going to church on Sunday. I'm doing well in school. I'm actually smart enough for college-level work, which is a miracle in and of itself. I'm learning, slowly, how to brush people off. What they say doesn't matter a whole lot to me, not really....I just can't let it. Bullies are everywhere. I used to think there was a place...over There...where things would be great. Let's call this place...Utopia. There is no Utopia. Life can be rough and hard, and Jesus...well, "my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Nobody's life is really all that easy, not really, but mine is tremendously, massively improved since I came to Christ. Its...inner-transformation, the sort of thing that no shrink, no counselor, no self-help book can accomplish.
And I praise God for my freedom. I wasn't guaranteed a misdemeanor (I was charged with a felony) or probation. I got both, which is a miracle in and of itself. Usually, when shrinks want an "uppity" patient (read: "trouble maker") locked up, they get their wish.
I'm finally thinking more about other people and how they view things and also about following social norms and applying Christian morality. Its weird...when I was in The Fairy Land, I thought I was the #1, Gold Star Christian. I wasn't even saved, lol. Now, I'm coming out of the la-la-land and I realize: life--real life--starts here, starts now. And I'm blessed. The Lord saved me at 28, but I didn't get transformed and "recover" (that's the mental health word, anyway) until 30/31. I'm (thankfully) too old for "The sins of youth" and such. I'm also too young to just give up, although...I wonder...what sort of job, if any, does The Lord have in mind for me? The more I think about it...I have a beautiful life story, I'm intelligent, I'm physically healthy, and...above all else...I've been saved and set free. Oh, and my parents...they're warming up to me. I realize now that my mother still thinks of me as the snot nosed brat I was as a teenager and into my 20th year. My dad...he's actually nicer to me, many times, than she is, despite...everything...
Anyway, I guess I'm saying...I don't matter to my community. I wasn't "good enough" for my HS, for my college, for the "professionals" who were paid $$$ to at least pretend to care. I wasn't "good enough" for proper medical care when I needed it, on and on it goes...but I was "good enough" for Christ. I just had to truly come to the end of myself and ask Him to save me, and...lo and behold...He did! Of course, He loves me too much to leave me the way I am, so my progress is ongoing (true of every Born Again child of God).
Praise God! I may never be able to get a job, I may never have a family, I may never "matter" to my community or society at large, but I do matter to Christ. He truly is with "the least of these."
