Christ_empowered
Member
- Oct 23, 2010
- 14,319
- 10,803
I know, I've told this story. When I was 20, I OD'd and landed in a (private, for profit, overpriced, rip off) mental hospital. They tormented me and said I was malingering (making up symptoms for attention and such) and basically destroyed me.
Now, I'm 31. Its been 11 years. My current treatment ppl say its Bipolar I, I've had it for years, and the 1st hospital made it worse. A lot worse. By "had it for years," they mean...probably childhood or early teenage years onset.
Here's where it gets interesting....most of my life has been erased by heavy, involuntary shock treatments. The Lord has made good of all that, so I can't complain, but...I'm being told who I was, what was wrong with me, where the other treatment "experts" went wrong...and I remember very, very little of it. Now, to the good part...
...modern pharmaceuticals, when carefully used, can be a wonderful thing. I take a whopping --4-- of them daily (OK, so one is low dose, thank goodness), plus I do this hippy vitamin thing (Orthomolecular...I think it does help...), and...I'm recovering. The "recovery" didn't begin until I somehow managed to get saved, 3 1/2 years ago (read: miracle). Now, all of a sudden, I can think more realistically about things, I can relate better to others, I understand the world around me better, and...
...its a beautiful thing, really it is. My older, wiser, Pentecostal friend, Verna, we talk almost daily. She considers my recovery a bona fide miracle. The way we relate is different now, too; not exactly as equals per se, but a more give and take sort of friendship than before, when (understandably) I was taking more than I could or would give.
I think the haze of shock "treatments" (not a fan, btw) has been lifted by Christ. I say that because I now write well (I always wanted to) and I can communicate well and I don't have...well, I remember more than once standing outside in the yard, in the sun, having a sense that...I'd been erased. Hard to explain. I don't get that now, not at all. I have life and that more abundantly in Christ Jesus, and I'm blessed to be living, not just existing.
Every severely mentally ill person's recovery is different, just as there are different paths to madness in the first place. My recovery is more...a transformation, coming to life as a new creation in Christ Jesus. I'm blessed to be alive, blessed to be living with my people, blessed all over...and I'm now also trying to learn to appreciate God's work in my life.
Thanks for reading.
Now, I'm 31. Its been 11 years. My current treatment ppl say its Bipolar I, I've had it for years, and the 1st hospital made it worse. A lot worse. By "had it for years," they mean...probably childhood or early teenage years onset.
Here's where it gets interesting....most of my life has been erased by heavy, involuntary shock treatments. The Lord has made good of all that, so I can't complain, but...I'm being told who I was, what was wrong with me, where the other treatment "experts" went wrong...and I remember very, very little of it. Now, to the good part...
...modern pharmaceuticals, when carefully used, can be a wonderful thing. I take a whopping --4-- of them daily (OK, so one is low dose, thank goodness), plus I do this hippy vitamin thing (Orthomolecular...I think it does help...), and...I'm recovering. The "recovery" didn't begin until I somehow managed to get saved, 3 1/2 years ago (read: miracle). Now, all of a sudden, I can think more realistically about things, I can relate better to others, I understand the world around me better, and...
...its a beautiful thing, really it is. My older, wiser, Pentecostal friend, Verna, we talk almost daily. She considers my recovery a bona fide miracle. The way we relate is different now, too; not exactly as equals per se, but a more give and take sort of friendship than before, when (understandably) I was taking more than I could or would give.
I think the haze of shock "treatments" (not a fan, btw) has been lifted by Christ. I say that because I now write well (I always wanted to) and I can communicate well and I don't have...well, I remember more than once standing outside in the yard, in the sun, having a sense that...I'd been erased. Hard to explain. I don't get that now, not at all. I have life and that more abundantly in Christ Jesus, and I'm blessed to be living, not just existing.
Every severely mentally ill person's recovery is different, just as there are different paths to madness in the first place. My recovery is more...a transformation, coming to life as a new creation in Christ Jesus. I'm blessed to be alive, blessed to be living with my people, blessed all over...and I'm now also trying to learn to appreciate God's work in my life.
Thanks for reading.
