[__ Prayer __] pray for it to stop

[Christ_empowered]

I have no where to go. No way to support myself. My former psychiatrists have shared "their opionions" about all aspects of my life with my neighbors and other people in this small, southern town.

I'm not a member of this community. The only way I could be a member of this community would be if I "knew my place in society," which apparently invovles taking tons of Thorazine and living in abject poverty. Sad thing is...that could easily have been (at best...) what happened. The Lord has smiled up on me and blessed me. My (long suffering, loving, kind) parents let me live with them. I feel safer here. I get disability, I go to school online. By God' grace, I've "recovered from treatment," which is to say...not only did I do drugs, but I was bashed on the head w/ a pipe in the ghetto and subjected to 2 separate rounds of heavy shock treatments (not voluntarily, not that it matters). I was dead eyed and had tics and...ugh. It was terrible.

Now, I'm bright eyed. Now, I"m healthy (no premature aging, no tics). By some miracle, I'm not even ugly, weird looking, burned out, or too feminine in the face. I just...look...normal. I'm covered in labels and stigma and...and...and...it gets rough.

People blame me for all of it, from the heavy shock "treatments" to the ill health I had until fairly recently to the pictures+videos that are (apparently) circulating of me enaging in sodomy. I never gave an OK to these pictures or videos, but...no one cares, obviously. Based on what I've overheard people say about it, sometimes yell at me, I'm beginning to suspect I not only didn't consent to these pictures+videos, I may not have consented to the sex acts themselves, period. Of course...no one will show --me-- this pictures, videos, because now I have my (thankfully, loving, protective, now "upper class") people behind me and they say "he'll tell (my dad) that he raped him." (that's what dudes in the neighborhood have said, anyway)

Based on what I've overheard, there was some unethical, possibly illegal, sexual stuff with me and a male psychiatrist (the same one who electroshocked me in round 1, the same 1 who made my life a living hell, the same 1 who refused to treat a near lethal pill OD in the hospital...). But of course...its somehow --my-- fault, because...well, I'm low status. He's a doctor. He matters. I'm a "mental patient." I'm more or less a non-entity.

I flipped out under the pressure about 4ish years ago and sent off some emails to an ex-shrink. Pathetic, I know. I was charged with a felony which was (Praise God!) plea bargain-ed down to a (serious, "Class A") misdemeanor. I got the max amount of probation allowed under state law (5 years, which isn't bad at all). So, people talk about my public defender, my felony...one set of neighbors will yell at me, "hate to tell you this, but you got a FELONY!" and then laugh like hyenas.

In the absolute sense--the stuff that's really happened, is really happening, etc.-- I'm blessed beyond measure. See, if I'd gotten a felony, my life would be a real, true living Hell right now. With felony probation, you can be put on house arrest, be made to wear an ankle GPS thing, have to pay lotsa $$$ and see an officer very often, and...yeah. Low status+stigmatized+ Felony would have= Hell on earth.

But I got the misdemeanor, so its more like...I took 1 drug test (passed, I'm a remarkably wholesome person these days) and that was it for the drug testing. I go in to see an officer every 3 months, with a piece of mail to prove my address is the same and appointment cards from the mental health clinic so they know I'm compliant with all that. I pay the monies monthly, but the fee is far lower than it would be for a felony. My officer can come by my address when/if he feels like it, or get somebody else in the office to do it, but...that's happened all of --2-- times in very close to 3 years.

Neither time was that great...they bang on the door really loudly and scream out that they're from the probation office ("knock and announce," I think is the legal term...), and then...well, I opened the door, and they were just like "OK. Bye now." If I'd actually got the big --F--elony, things would be...rough, rough all over.

The Lord is good to His children. There's a God in Heaven, afterall...if there wasn't, I'd have been dead at 20.

But it does get tiring. Last night, that one set of neighbors laughed and laughed and yelled about me, something...I dunno. I could hear some of it in my bedroom, which means they were being a bit too loud. They're rednecks and all, but...wow.

I still think like a Sociology 101 student, in terms of social variables. Thing is...the devil's in the details. Jesus saves us from: sin, satan, self, death, and the world. 4/5 of those--sin, satan, self, and the world--combined pretty much explain my horrible existence, pre-Jesus. Nothin' personal, dewd.

God is good (all the time). People...aren't. Especially when you're stigmatized, labeled, low status, and (gasp) "don't know your place in society." I'm considered uppity because I wear decent clothes, good enough shoes (its The South...first thing people look at is your shoes...), I live with my "genteel" people and they take good care of me, I do my own thing...

And, I'm expected to do what other people...just about anybody, but especially the psychiatrists and counselors...tell me to do. I hear men, in particular, say "Well, I guess he just does whatever the *@$@ he wants to, now doesn't he?," and the thing is...I'm not doing anything crazy, illegal, off the wall deviant. I get disability, which is a blessing, and I mind my own business and I go about doing harmless, perfectly legal, normal things...but that bothers people around here, men in particular.

In the real, absolute sense, I'm blessed beyond measure. I'm free and safe and healthy and smart enough for my goals (and to be in society...always a good thing...) and my "mental illness" is well-controlled with standard, safe, modern pills I get for cheap-ish through disability.

I just...I ask that you pray that the ridicule and the pictures and the videos and the general nastiness goes down a couple notches, maybe stops completely.

I'm praying also that eventually I can leave this place, hopefully with my parents. Mama's very near to retirement now, and I don't think my dad is planning on staying in his jobby job too much longer, although he hasn't shared specific plans with me yet.

God is good! I think I'm growing through this, or have grown through this, however imperfectly. Everybody on here who prays for me...undoubtedly, your ongoing prayers (and replies, and support, and...everything...) have made a big difference in my life.

I used to think...maybe God was using this as an opportunity for me to get into the local community as a different person, all that. I don't think so now. I think...I think there is no such thing as second chances in modern society, for most of us. Society talks a good game about tolerance, affirmation, reducing stigma of this that and the other thing, but...there's no redemption, no transformation, nothing. Especially when you start out low status, stigmatized, all that stuff. Maybe its always been this way? I dunno.

I get the sense that I've been changed (New Creation in Christ Jesus), and now...I should probably see about getting out of here, when I can, if I can. --sigh--

Thanks again for all the prayers, support, input, etc.

 

[Eugene]

Morning Brother Christ_empowered. I do hope you realize that prayer for you is ongoing, and that the prayer of a righteous man availeth much according to Jas 5:16, but wait just a minute partener; in Christ Jesus you are the very righteousness of God (2 Cor 5:21). Appears hard to surpass that in qualifying to go boldly before our Father to obtain mercy, and and find grace to help in our time of need (Heb 4:16).
You speak of getting out of the place you find you in where God has you, but I hope you can endure and occupy as He allows you to grow in grace and knowledge of our Lord Jesus. With patience I do believe when God is ready you'll be the first to know of Him leading you into greater revelations, and not necessarily becoming free from the sufferings you experience, but becoming the witness God made of the Apostle Paul when He has trained you.

Your lesson for this day is:
Php 4:11 Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.
Php 4:12 I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: every where and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need.
Php 4:13 I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.

 

[Christ_empowered]

once again...a wise post, Eugene.

I drove around, sippin' on mah Dunkin' Donuts iced coffee, smoking mah camels...and I realized: God really is good. I don't mean going thru the motions "God is good...now, Lord, here's what I'm gonna need from you..." kinda thing...I mean, really: He is omni-benevolent.

I could easily have gone to prison, or at least done some extensive time in jail. Didn't happen. 8 years ago, when I attacked my (loving, long suffering, hard working, now Christian) father, I could have (at best...) ended up in the state mental hospital. We still had a big one back then, and they would have made quick work of me (forensic psychiatry=NOT something I wanna deal with...).

I went to Teen challenge. I was pathetic and all, but they graced me thru. God blessed me with coming to know and believe upon Christ 3 years 10 (going on 11, btw) months ago. Its been...interesting, sometimes tough and painful, and always challenging...and good. That's the thing...God is G-o-o-d, and His work in His children's lives may not always look the same on the surface, but its always (genuinely, truly, Really) Good, because its a reflection of His goodness.

I feel as if I became "Real." I am forever referencing The Great Divorce, but..yeah. Kinda like that...start out shadow-y and 2-dimensional, end up genuinely, truly, 3-D...human. Flawed, sin patterns, all that, but..Human. In right relationship with God in and thru and because of Christ, who was kind enough to take up residence in my heart when I got saved, despite who I was and everything I did and my low status and...and...and...

I live like a King compared to most "mental patients." I'm not saying that to be all "God loves me more than them," because He doesn't (obviously...), but...its great for me, because I get the "space," literal+figurative, that I need to genuinely recover...and I realize now that it doesn't sit well with a lot of people. That's the way the world works, I see that now...and Mental Health, Inc. is a reflection of American culture. Down here, its a reflection of the form of Southern Culture we have in this part of (lovely) South Carolina. Has its pros and cons.

God has me here for a reason. Anywhere but this area, I'd be...well, I'd be blessed to be in a state mental hospital, sippin' on Thorazine punch. Here, I'm not well-liked, I'm stigmatized, people talk about me under their breath in public places (just happened today, in a convenience store...), but I'm free and safe. No hospital, no felony, no jail, no prison, no (real, true, genuine, difficult) poverty. No respect, either (LOL). I'm the local Rodney Dangerfield, honestly.

More than that...my parents see a real change. It wasn't all my "fault" that I was who I was (bratty, snot nosed, ingrate, effeminate, sickly, all that....), but...messed up is messed up. Now, I'm normal and healthy and...well, I'm just different in ways that are considered "mentally ill," that's all. Maybe in some pre-modern culture, I'd be good to go, but...its 21st century America: take your Abilfy, dude.

So, I get to be a son who loves his parents and whom they --can-- love, because I don't intentionally harm them, nor am I all that demanding, nor do I whine and moan all the time. I love them, they love me, we're all 3 flawed human beings with everything that entails. Fair enough.

As for the community...I dunno. Maybe sometimes they'll catch a glimpse of Christ thru me, despite the flaws and mental illness, terrible past, horrible reputation, all that. Here's hoping (and praying).

Phew. This is longer and more rambling than I'd intended, as usual. I think a big part of growing up, for me, right now, is accepting the world outside my parents' (comfortable) home as it is. I can't buck this town, much less American culture. Not that I'm looking to be conventional, All American, all that...this world isn't any Christians true home...this is especially true for me, here, right now. Play the hand you're dealt as best you can.

OK. I'm more or less finished, for now. Undoubtedly, there will be more later...in the very near future, no less. Thanks again for reading all this, praying, offering up much-needed (and increasingly appreciated) wisdom+Scripture.

 

[Wrg1405]

Hi my brother in Christ. Yes you are in Christ and you are my brother. You are a child of the Father.

You are a new creation in Christ. No ifs or buts.

Your identity is whom your are in Christ and what he says about you.

In Christ your past sins have been forgiven you, the results of this God will work in. From what you say he is restoring your relationship with your parents. He is working in you and you are moving forward. You are not the same person you were all those years ago. With regard to yourself and your relationship with your parents and with God as well.

In fact tomorrow you won't be the same person you were yesterday because of Christ and what he is doing in you.

God knows the plans he has for you, they are to prosper you. He will make your paths straight, he will lead you on that path, it is a level path where you will not stumble.

When and if God moves you on from the community you are in, then it will be the time that he knows is right for you.

With regards to your community and I have to say their backward attitude and harsh action forgive them daily. Every word you hear that is negative against you forgive it. They will not know it but Satan is using them to attack you. He has blinded them.

Jesus himself knew when it was right to walk away, shake the dust of his feet, he even told his disciples to do it. When the time is right he will let you know.

Father we life CE up to you. Thank you for all you have done for him and we thank you for what you will continue to do in him. Thank you so much for working in the relationship with his parents, restoring it and working in all of them.

May his focus be on you, what he is to you and what you say about him. He is the apple of your eye, you love him as much as you love Jesus. I further pray that you would bring loving understanding fellow believers along side him.

In Jesus name.

 

[Christ_empowered]

thanks, wrg.

It does get rough, but it could be Terrible. This isn't terrible, this is challenging and sometimes...frustrating, honestly.

Jesus. Family. Me. Priorities, priorities, priorities. My "mental illness" has improved since I got saved, especially since my parents started moving closer to forgiving me for who I was, what I did (much of it to them), etc.

I will repay you for the years the canker worm has eaten. This has proven to be true in my own life, even though I was the canker worm for at least some of those years. God is good!

Now, I find that I don't have any local friends, my "friends" from way back who are still around here are doing their own (mostly non-Christian) thing, and my people...well, its hard for me, sometimes, to know that I"m completely different, this time in a number of good ways (at long last). I think its hard for them, too...my mother, in particular, remembers me as a snot nosed, self-centered brat. --sigh--

I love my people. My people love me. I even went with them to a (lovely) SC beach not too long ago. That's huge.

These people around me...you're right; satan works through them. Plus, they yell lies and assumptions at me, which is frustrating. "You got a FELONY!" "The judge TOOK PITY ON YOU!," etc. etc. etc. I've never even spoken --to-- or --with-- them, certainly not about all this, and...well, I get the sense that this is how "mental patients" are treated, especially the "trouble makers." oh well.

Speaking of all that...I am praying for the day I can walk away from the mental health industry and just...head to the house, call it a day, etc. My current shrink is just another shrink who's like any other shrink. Thing about what I went thru...it wasn't a couple "bad apples," or anything like that. The doctors who did horrible things to me are regarded as "excellent," best of the area, etc....and they do this, probably mostly to poor women (poor and/or minority women are often "victims of psychiatry..." and nobody cares). I think maybe I've seen what psychiatry is really about, at the core...and I don't want to be a "patient" any longer than I have to be one.

Rambling. God is good. Despite everything, He has seen fit to bless me. I'm smart in a way that=high(ish) IQ estimates, apparently. When I was younger, I would have jumped at that. Now...I'm glad, I mean...I've got the sort of intelligence that society values and that might help me with writing at some point. But there's more to me than yet another shrink's IQ estimate. The concept, the scale itself is shaky. At least its not like back in the day, when shrinks would sterilize "undesirables," etc. Progress?

Eyes on Christ, and Him crucified. That's what its all about. I gotta get my gaze there, and keep it there. I'll pray on that.

Thanks again for another quality reply.

 

[Wrg1405]

Eyes on Christ, and Him crucified. That's what its all about. I gotta get my gaze there, and keep it there. I'll pray on that.

That's the truth my friend. As a result we are hidden in him and he is alive in us.
We all need to,focus on this

 

[Deborah13]

this world isn't any Christians true home...this is especially true for me, here, right now. Play the hand you're dealt as best you can.

You are right, this is not our true home. Neither are we who we will be. We all have our flaws, I know I have more than a few. I am looking forward to when I will be going home and be changed to have a perfect heart and a perfect mind.

Your identity is whom your are in Christ and what he says about you.

:amen

 

[Angel]

I have no where to go. No way to support myself. My former psychiatrists have shared "their opionions" about all aspects of my life with my neighbors and other people in this small, southern town.

I'm not a member of this community. The only way I could be a member of this community would be if I "knew my place in society," which apparently invovles taking tons of Thorazine and living in abject poverty. Sad thing is...that could easily have been (at best...) what happened. The Lord has smiled up on me and blessed me. My (long suffering, loving, kind) parents let me live with them. I feel safer here. I get disability, I go to school online. By God' grace, I've "recovered from treatment," which is to say...not only did I do drugs, but I was bashed on the head w/ a pipe in the ghetto and subjected to 2 separate rounds of heavy shock treatments (not voluntarily, not that it matters). I was dead eyed and had tics and...ugh. It was terrible.

Now, I'm bright eyed. Now, I"m healthy (no premature aging, no tics). By some miracle, I'm not even ugly, weird looking, burned out, or too feminine in the face. I just...look...normal. I'm covered in labels and stigma and...and...and...it gets rough.

People blame me for all of it, from the heavy shock "treatments" to the ill health I had until fairly recently to the pictures+videos that are (apparently) circulating of me enaging in sodomy. I never gave an OK to these pictures or videos, but...no one cares, obviously. Based on what I've overheard people say about it, sometimes yell at me, I'm beginning to suspect I not only didn't consent to these pictures+videos, I may not have consented to the sex acts themselves, period. Of course...no one will show --me-- this pictures, videos, because now I have my (thankfully, loving, protective, now "upper class") people behind me and they say "he'll tell (my dad) that he raped him." (that's what dudes in the neighborhood have said, anyway)

Based on what I've overheard, there was some unethical, possibly illegal, sexual stuff with me and a male psychiatrist (the same one who electroshocked me in round 1, the same 1 who made my life a living hell, the same 1 who refused to treat a near lethal pill OD in the hospital...). But of course...its somehow --my-- fault, because...well, I'm low status. He's a doctor. He matters. I'm a "mental patient." I'm more or less a non-entity.

I flipped out under the pressure about 4ish years ago and sent off some emails to an ex-shrink. Pathetic, I know. I was charged with a felony which was (Praise God!) plea bargain-ed down to a (serious, "Class A") misdemeanor. I got the max amount of probation allowed under state law (5 years, which isn't bad at all). So, people talk about my public defender, my felony...one set of neighbors will yell at me, "hate to tell you this, but you got a FELONY!" and then laugh like hyenas.

In the absolute sense--the stuff that's really happened, is really happening, etc.-- I'm blessed beyond measure. See, if I'd gotten a felony, my life would be a real, true living Hell right now. With felony probation, you can be put on house arrest, be made to wear an ankle GPS thing, have to pay lotsa $$$ and see an officer very often, and...yeah. Low status+stigmatized+ Felony would have= Hell on earth.

But I got the misdemeanor, so its more like...I took 1 drug test (passed, I'm a remarkably wholesome person these days) and that was it for the drug testing. I go in to see an officer every 3 months, with a piece of mail to prove my address is the same and appointment cards from the mental health clinic so they know I'm compliant with all that. I pay the monies monthly, but the fee is far lower than it would be for a felony. My officer can come by my address when/if he feels like it, or get somebody else in the office to do it, but...that's happened all of --2-- times in very close to 3 years.

Neither time was that great...they bang on the door really loudly and scream out that they're from the probation office ("knock and announce," I think is the legal term...), and then...well, I opened the door, and they were just like "OK. Bye now." If I'd actually got the big --F--elony, things would be...rough, rough all over.

The Lord is good to His children. There's a God in Heaven, afterall...if there wasn't, I'd have been dead at 20.

But it does get tiring. Last night, that one set of neighbors laughed and laughed and yelled about me, something...I dunno. I could hear some of it in my bedroom, which means they were being a bit too loud. They're rednecks and all, but...wow.

I still think like a Sociology 101 student, in terms of social variables. Thing is...the devil's in the details. Jesus saves us from: sin, satan, self, death, and the world. 4/5 of those--sin, satan, self, and the world--combined pretty much explain my horrible existence, pre-Jesus. Nothin' personal, dewd.

God is good (all the time). People...aren't. Especially when you're stigmatized, labeled, low status, and (gasp) "don't know your place in society." I'm considered uppity because I wear decent clothes, good enough shoes (its The South...first thing people look at is your shoes...), I live with my "genteel" people and they take good care of me, I do my own thing...

And, I'm expected to do what other people...just about anybody, but especially the psychiatrists and counselors...tell me to do. I hear men, in particular, say "Well, I guess he just does whatever the *@$@ he wants to, now doesn't he?," and the thing is...I'm not doing anything crazy, illegal, off the wall deviant. I get disability, which is a blessing, and I mind my own business and I go about doing harmless, perfectly legal, normal things...but that bothers people around here, men in particular.

In the real, absolute sense, I'm blessed beyond measure. I'm free and safe and healthy and smart enough for my goals (and to be in society...always a good thing...) and my "mental illness" is well-controlled with standard, safe, modern pills I get for cheap-ish through disability.

I just...I ask that you pray that the ridicule and the pictures and the videos and the general nastiness goes down a couple notches, maybe stops completely.

I'm praying also that eventually I can leave this place, hopefully with my parents. Mama's very near to retirement now, and I don't think my dad is planning on staying in his jobby job too much longer, although he hasn't shared specific plans with me yet.

God is good! I think I'm growing through this, or have grown through this, however imperfectly. Everybody on here who prays for me...undoubtedly, your ongoing prayers (and replies, and support, and...everything...) have made a big difference in my life.

I used to think...maybe God was using this as an opportunity for me to get into the local community as a different person, all that. I don't think so now. I think...I think there is no such thing as second chances in modern society, for most of us. Society talks a good game about tolerance, affirmation, reducing stigma of this that and the other thing, but...there's no redemption, no transformation, nothing. Especially when you start out low status, stigmatized, all that stuff. Maybe its always been this way? I dunno.

I get the sense that I've been changed (New Creation in Christ Jesus), and now...I should probably see about getting out of here, when I can, if I can. --sigh--

Thanks again for all the prayers, support, input, etc.

I am always praying that your torment ends.. I believe some day it WILL.

 

[Angel]

" Its been...interesting, sometimes tough and painful, and always challenging...and good. That's the thing...God is G-o-o-d, and His work in His children's lives may not always look the same on the surface, but its always (genuinely, truly, Really) Good, because its a reflection of His goodness."

Amen!

 

[Angel]

"this world isn't any Christians true home..."

BIG Amen!

 

[Christ_empowered]

hey...me again.

Thanks for all the prayers and replies, y'all. Its crazy...I'm all of 32. Not in the 16-24, partyin' youth age demographic, but not old. Not even middle aged. And...I'm considered "too old," apparently. I've been considered "too old" around here for a while.

I used to be a burn out. When my life stabilized a bit, I got with a friend of mine who's a licensed esthetician. She put together a basic plan that didn't exactly turn back the hands of time, but it did get rid of some sun damage and such, so I ended up looking about my age, maybe sometimes a little bit younger. Thing is...heavy drug abuse, heavy psych drugging, heavy shock "treatments," stress, questionable nutrition...these things leave a permanent mark, over time. I looked roughly my age, but a faded late 20s early 30s, if that makes sense. And then...

well, I got saved 3 years going on 11 months ago. At a certain point, The Lord showed His love and His forgiveness by changing me, physically. I slacked off on all the frou frou skin stuff because...well, I'd slightly passed 30 by that point, so I figured...whatevs. A friend visited from another country and told me that my skin looked "incredible." I hadn't noticed, but...I now look like I"m somewhere in my 20s. Not freakishly younger or anything, but...God is good. I don't even require most of the frou frou skincare line up...I just do what I need to keep the rosacea at bay.

I mention this to say...people around here yell lies. "Too old..." too old for what, exactly? 32 isn't old anyway, and according to my current counselor, I don't look like any early 30something he's ever seen. "Too feminine!" Right. I had hormonal problems on top of psychosocial issues that=flamboyantly gay, on a good day. Now, I'm not a "flamer." Not heterosexual, but...just queer. It happens. I do think some people are queer...not homosexual, not gay, just...in my case, a softer, apparently prettier variant on the male sex.

On and on it goes. "The judge took pity on him." Far from the truth. The judge actually tossed out the agreement the DA and my attorney had made in favor of a harsher punishment. I mean, I'm not complaining; no jail time, no prison time, etc., but still...lies. They keep yelling lies.

My big concern, when I think about it, is that when and if I move...the "experts" from back then will once again "share their opinion" with people wherever I go, to "make sure they know who they're dealing with," etc. This is how low status "mental patients," especially the "uppity" one and the "trouble makers" are treated...to keep us "in line," etc.

its crazy. You know...I've had more success with the legal system than with Mental Health, Inc. In the legal system, you actually have --rights-- . If you have an attorney, these rights can't be violated. You can't have an attorney with you in a mental hospital or at the clinic. Psychiatrists abuse the legal system, abuse patients, lie, all the time. Every day. I see now that God made good of a lot of this by letting this ex-shrink make a criminal case of it...in criminal court, with an attorney, I did better than I would have if I"d been hospitalized. Plus, now my parents see who and what I dealt with back then, and they're not as angry at me.

--rambling-- My eyes are now bright. Not freakish (I had a breakdown+physical health problems about 9 years ago...my eyes were freakishly, unnaturally bright. weird, huh?), just...bright. The Lord put a much-needed light into my eyes after the shrinks left me dead eyed from the tail end of 20-the beginning of 25. So, people say "Dr.() broke you!" and "He'll never be the same" and "Dr.() took something" and "He has Schizophrenia," etc.

Keep in mind...the shrinks destroyed me. I wasn't even old enough to buy booze, and they'd destroyed me. Now, I'm bright eyed, healthy, smart enough for my goals, and officially "in recovery from severe Bipolar I."

--sigh-- I'm getting better about this. Its just...I drove off a ways, to Dunkin Donuts for coffee. I always go to the drive thru. Well...some kinda redneck-y dudes (not being snotty, just sayin'...) were talking near the drive thru, up to the front entrance. I heard one of the saying "he's too old," and some other stuff. Ugh. They looked considerably older than me, but hey...I guess that doesn't matter around here.

Darned if you do, darned if you don't. I've now lived well past 23, which was my predicted expiration date (seriously). I survived what the doctors and people in this community put me through. I'm healthy, smart, bright eyed, remarkably normal, and I even look a bit younger than my age. No matter. Darned if you, darned if you don't.

Ugh. keep those prayers comin'...

 

[Angel]

I'm glad God restored your health.

 

[Christ_empowered]

thanks, angel.

I tend to ramble. I have a lot to be thankful for...I mean, I was sickly as a kid and it just got worse from there, even before I smoked, drank, or did drugs. So...the way the world usually goes, I should be dead.

Thanks for your reply+prayers.